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Your presenter is:
Alison Sigmon, M.Ed., LPC, PMP
Walk the Talk on Projects
Effective communication that goes the distance
http://www.nicabm.com/nicabmblog/building-a-brain-science-community/

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What’s on tap for our time together today…
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 Change is all around us revisited
 There’s function and then there’s form
 Dialogue, active listening, being present, and defining the problem
make the functional tools of communication work
 Tips for riding the wave of discomfort when communicating
 Wrap it up!
Agenda
The desire to have “Improved communication skills” emerges repeatedly on
surveys and research as an ability critical to project success, and yet we all
continue to feel challenged by it! Tons of published research and books provide
great resource, but often leave us still struggling for how to effectively
communicate.
This webinar will consider what gets in the way of effective communication and
provide tips and techniques for project communication that works.

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Project change –
Revisited
Impact on you and others

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From strategy to reports to
documentation to relationships, project
managers experience a bevy of
challenges that require a wide range of
skills.
 Work through others to get work done
 Get results in nearly impossible
conditions and situations
 Manage without authority
 Spend 80 to 90 percent of time
communicating
 Navigate and leverage politics
 Build and support project relationships
 Facilitate stakeholder interaction and
contributions
 Analyze data
 Sell ideas and solutions
 Manage conflict
Juggling never ends

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Things can get REALLY complicated!
And when you think about the communication needed…

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Complication with communicating can be
reduced when we consider functional aspects
of it…
Audience. Subject Matter Expert? Executive?
Executives usually want the Cliff Notes. They care
about the problem, opportunity, and benefits. SMEs
like to go deep on details.
Right person, right time. No one wants to waste
time so making sure you’re talking to the right person
is imperative.
Appropriate cadence and content. Too much
information and pacing of communication can kill
progress.
Relationship. What’s your relationship with the
stakeholder? History – good or challenged?
Best tool for the job. Pick a medium that is suitable
for the communication.
That’s it???...Um, nope.
One side of the coin…

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Other side of the coin…
Planning, picking tools, selecting the right person are all important to the
mechanics of the communication process.
What makes it effective is how you manage it. That’s where the magic
happens, and it all starts with form – that is, the WAY you do it…
http://www.geeky-gadgets.com/stress-ball-dlight-12-02-2010/

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If communication was easy, we
wouldn’t need all the books,
articles, coaching sessions,
and webinars like this to do it!
So what will help? Good
form. That begins with…
• Aiming for dialogue
• Listening actively
• Being present
• Seeking to understand
Being in the moment…

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Center not sides…
Aim for dialogue
We think much faster than the
sender can speak which means
we tend to jump ahead.
This results in us focusing on how
to respond rather than REALLY
HEARING what the sender is
actually saying.
Dialogue is a conversation with
a center not sides. So how can
we effectively create that?

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We have to have a little understanding of ourselves and our
buttons. We also have to appreciate others have them too.
Feelings impact everyone, and people don’t stop having feelings
when they get to work.
Our emotional brain responds far faster than our logical self – 100
milliseconds as compared to 3.6 seconds for the rational brain.
This is why we can respond to situations seemingly without thinking.
While this can be helpful in a crisis situation, the reality is sometimes
we’re reacting without enough information, responding to our
anxious feeling, etc.
Science is showing that 40 to 50 percent of the time we are correct in
our assumptions about a situation, but you know what that means…
Responding with awareness

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Get out of your own way
In his book The Magic of Dialogue, Daniel
Yankelovich includes a list titled “Potholes of the
Mind” to highlight some of the things that can get in
the way of effective dialogue.
• Holding back – withholding information
• Being locked in a box – stuck on a specific idea and
can’t move beyond it
• Prematurely moving to action – seeking solutions
without fully understanding the problem
• Listening without hearing – multi-tasking
• Starting at different points – polarized thinking on the
situation
• Showboating – constantly trying to control
• Scoring debate points – competitive style
• Being contrary – sees only the negatives of a
situation
• Having a pet preoccupation – fixated on their
interested to the exclusion of others

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Overcoming obstacles by listening actively
Things get in the way. As a project manager your mission is to overcome obstacles by
listening with intention. And this means participating.
Project Managers spend up to 80 to 90 percent of their time communicating so resisting the
lure of multi-tasking isn’t always easy, but it’s one of the most important skills a project
manager.
This means project managers and stakeholders need to be deliberate and efficient when
communicating, and the best way to do that is to practice active listening.

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Mirror, mirror…
When practicing active listening,
the listener demonstrates
genuine interest in
understanding the sender’s
message.
• They ask clarifying questions
that are objective, reflective, and
interpretational in nature
• They paraphrase what they’ve
heard
• They reflect like a mirror to the
other person to demonstrate
understanding and empathy

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Whole person approach…
Active listening is a whole person experience
• When face-to-face the listener faces the sender, sits up right,
and maintains eye contact.
• Nodding and using facial expressions when appropriate lets the
sender know the listener is present.
• When on the phone, the listener focuses on the speaker,
responds with verbal acknowledgement as appropriate, and may
take notes to create references as the conversation progresses.
• Whether face-to-face or on the phone it’s important not to multi-
tasking. With the many demands on a project manager’s time,
she must be deliberate with putting them aside or risk losing the
confidence and trust of the sender.
• Give space. Some people assume to be active means one must
be talking. While asking questions and seeking understanding is
an aspect of active listening, sometimes just being present during
pauses and silence is all the support they need.

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Be present and accounted for…
Through active listening, we broaden
our understanding and perspective of a
situation.
Present listening, on the other hand,
takes it a step further by acknowledging
the barriers and emotional challenges
while looking for the things that can
support them in moving beyond it.
Assuming a balanced approach to the
supports and barriers helps all involved
feel less stuck and more empowered to
get on with the business of focusing the
issue, solving the problem, and
negotiating for the project.

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Walk a mile in their shoes…
Present listening happens when you are
truly interested in perspective taking or
“getting into the other person’s shoes.”
It happens when you convey that you truly
want to know what is going on with him or
her regarding a particular issue.
Present listening can help advance project
management activities faster.
• Set stakeholder expectations
• Create a problem definition
• Establish time, cost, and scope priorities
• Facilitate team involvement
• Problem solving and managing with conflict
• Make agreements with virtual team
members

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Path to solution is a solid definition
Before we can solve the problem
we need to know what it is.
Problem definition requires we
distinguish between causes and
symptoms and separating fact
from opinion.
Problems may be internal,
technical, managerial, or
interpersonal and they may be
multi-faceted.

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Big problems tend to have smaller problems
associated with it. So better to fish them out
than risk them growing larger.
It’s important to understand:
• What the issue is
• Why it’s important now
• Which aspect needs attention first
It’s not uncommon for stakeholders to have
different opinions on what is and is not a
problem particularly when functional areas
have different concerns.
What might be a problem for product
marketing might not be a problem at all for
IT. So good form as noted in the previous
slides can help us figure it out with our
stakeholders.
Bigger they are, harder they fall…

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The task is to get alignment on what the
problem is relative to the project. To get a
clear problem definition, it’s important to
do the following:
Recognize a problem exists. Always tie it
back to the objectives of the project and
what must be delivered.
Ask objective questions. These are fact-
focused questions used create context and
build mutual understanding. They are the
kind of questions an investigator asks –
who, what, when, where, how.
Give it a temporary definition. Sometimes
problems are so complex and large they are
hard to immediately define. Giving it a
temporary definition acts as a placeholder
further drill down through the information.
Synch up

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Don’t “boil the ocean” because you can solve everything every time. Picking the
right functional tools and practicing good form will go along way to effective
communication on projects.
There are a few other considerations as you move through the process…
The ocean is big and deep

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Living in the moment
Communication at it’s best is felt by
everyone involved. But…it becomes a
challenge when everyone is trying to
POSSESS and CONTROL it.
Remember that it’s not a competition.
Everyone loses in a communication
fail. Be in the moment by seeking to
understand, asking questions, and
demonstrating the other has been heard.
It might feel like challenging
communication moments will never end,
but they do and they will.
Just keep these tips in mind…

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Riding the wave
It’s temporary. Every interaction we have with others is
temporary. Knowing something will end can help us relax and
maybe even find something positive in the shared time. Attitude
can do wonders with making that glass seem a bit less
empty.
Take perspective. See them differently – not as a troublesome
stakeholder, but rather as another human being doing the best
they can with what they know. So are you.
Your advantage is you know better because you’re bothering to
participate in this webinar. As renowned poet Maya Angelou once
said, “When you know better, you do better.”

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Be different. You CAN’T change others but
you CAN change yourself and how you
interact with others. In relationships where
there’s poor or miscommunication there
are NO innocent parties.
Hello, Stranger. We tend to treat people we
DON’T know well better than the people we
DO know well. Talk with them as if you’re
talking with a stranger waiting in line or at an
airport. What you learn may just surprise
you.
Laugh. Life is short and that moment of
challenging communication is a millisecond
relative to your entire life. Take a step back
and pull the big picture into focus. If you
don’t look for the good, how can you find
it?
Take the long view

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Do no harm
Take the high road. Don’t let it be
personal even if it is. If you find
yourself on the receiving end of
criticisms and snide remarks about
you or someone else, ignore it. We
can only grow what we pay
attention to.
Lend support. If the situation is
tough on you, chances are your
stakeholder find it equally as hard.
Talk to each other about it. Make a
game plan. A gesture that tells
them they need to step in. When
you partner with stakeholders,
you avoid creating the drama.

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Keep the big picture in mind
It might be tempting to just “tell it like it
is” when communicating with project
stakeholders, but it’s not just about you so
think before you leap.
Stakeholders will be directly or indirectly
affected so before you take that path, step
back and consider the consequences.
Final note…if the potential for conflict is
too high in your communication, then it’s
okay to take a break, reach out to a
mentor or trusted peer, or recruit an
objective third party to facilitate.
At the end of the day it’s about acting with
the bigger picture in mind relative to the
project and the business.

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A PM’s work is never done…
Project managers wear a lot of hats that
require a variety of skills…
Analysis
Documentation
Budgeting
Communication
Teamwork
Intelligence
Steadiness
Time Management
Functional tools and good form go a long
way to your success with each of these.

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Wrap up…
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Questions???
What we discussed
The desire to have “Improved communication skills” emerges repeatedly on
surveys and research as an ability critical to project success, and yet we all
continue to feel challenged by it! Tons of published research and books provide
great resource, but often leave us still struggling for how to effectively
communicate.
This webinar will consider what gets in the way of effective communication and
provide tips and techniques for project communication that works.
 Change is all around us revisited
 There’s function and then there’s form
 Dialogue, active listening, being present, and defining the problem make
the functional tools of communication work
 Tips for riding the wave of discomfort when communicating
 Wrap it up!

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Thank you!
www.systemation.com
Alison Sigmon, M.Ed, LPC, PMP
asigmon@systemation.com
Twitter @alisonsigmon
www.slideshare.net/ahsigmon
www.mindscraping.com
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