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Polyamory Primer

           A guide
   At the end of the 20th century, an old
       practice acquired a new theory.
The theory explained that it was possible to
maintain what were called open relationships,
    if you could get everyone involved to agree
    on certain conditions of public information.
   In other words, you could sleep around and not
      have your bf/gf/husband/wife leave you . . .
   . . . as long as they were never exposed to
           the details of your other affairs.
   What this meant was the restriction of information.
   Contrary to a popular slogan of the time,
      information did not want to be free.
   But by imprisoning information, you could be free.
 You both agreed to be non-exclusive,
promising that the other would not know
   when, where, how, and with whom.
   No hints.
   No confessions.
   No clues.
   No detective work, either.
   What was secret must stay secret. 
     That was the whole of the law.
   If both partners accepted this,
     then they were free to kiss. 
   But not to tell.
   The most serious betrayal was raw information.
   Text became privileged space, dense with
    meaning and implicated currents of desire
    and impact.  Intercourse an...
  Social identities crept inward, byzantine
  architectures constructed with meticulous
 precision; levels of fact, innue...
   New truths were announced:
   “Identity is plural.”
   “Communication is fiction.”
   “Relation is artifice.”
   But when was this ever not the case?
   And so secrecy became the new honesty.
And the real was exposed as threaded with
necessary subjectivity and Heisenbergian mutations.
   A great theory!
   Maybe.
   But in practice . . .
   (as you might imagine)
   . . . it never quite worked out that way.
   Because although identities are constructed . . .
   and although the real is not separable from
                the subjective . . .
   and although we do create meaning through
    narrative, with the structural implications of
               discourse ...
   . . . our actions define us too.
   Whether or not we’re good at the spin.
   All stories are built upon actions.  Every act
    creates a meaning.  And acts, like Derridian
     speech, are thing...
   They do not leave us unscathed.
   In the end, the information gets free.
   And it’s not the information, but the act,
   that makes the impact,
   that creates the meaning,
   that constructs the real.
   That breaks the heart.
   Or rather, it is the information.
   But it’s also the act.
   There’s no escape from one into the other.
   One is the Other.
   In summary, let’s review:
   The theory states,
   It’s not what you do . . .
   . . . it’s how you say it.
“In Search of Adele H,” a Twitter movie, https://twitter.com/adelehugo
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A Polyamory Primer

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A Polyamory Primer,
or, Information Does Not Want to be Free.

A supplemental slideshow for In Search of Adele H, a Twitter movie. Follow at https://twitter.com/adelehugo

Published in: Technology, Economy & Finance
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A Polyamory Primer

  1. 1. Polyamory Primer A guide
  2. 2.  At the end of the 20th century, an old practice acquired a new theory.
  3. 3. The theory explained that it was possible to maintain what were called open relationships,
  4. 4.  if you could get everyone involved to agree on certain conditions of public information.
  5. 5.  In other words, you could sleep around and not have your bf/gf/husband/wife leave you . . .
  6. 6.  . . . as long as they were never exposed to the details of your other affairs.
  7. 7.  What this meant was the restriction of information.
  8. 8.  Contrary to a popular slogan of the time, information did not want to be free.
  9. 9.  But by imprisoning information, you could be free.
  10. 10.  You both agreed to be non-exclusive, promising that the other would not know when, where, how, and with whom.
  11. 11.  No hints.
  12. 12.  No confessions.
  13. 13.  No clues.
  14. 14.  No detective work, either.
  15. 15.  What was secret must stay secret.  That was the whole of the law.
  16. 16.  If both partners accepted this, then they were free to kiss. 
  17. 17.  But not to tell.
  18. 18.  The most serious betrayal was raw information.
  19. 19.  Text became privileged space, dense with meaning and implicated currents of desire and impact.  Intercourse and the physical plane devolved to the merely symbolic.
  20. 20.  Social identities crept inward, byzantine architectures constructed with meticulous precision; levels of fact, innuendo, discourse and negotiation buried and nested and folded into an onionskin of selves ever more dense and self-referential.
  21. 21.  New truths were announced:
  22. 22.  “Identity is plural.”
  23. 23.  “Communication is fiction.”
  24. 24.  “Relation is artifice.”
  25. 25.  But when was this ever not the case?
  26. 26.  And so secrecy became the new honesty.
  27. 27. And the real was exposed as threaded with necessary subjectivity and Heisenbergian mutations.
  28. 28.  A great theory!
  29. 29.  Maybe.
  30. 30.  But in practice . . .
  31. 31.  (as you might imagine)
  32. 32.  . . . it never quite worked out that way.
  33. 33.  Because although identities are constructed . . .
  34. 34.  and although the real is not separable from the subjective . . .
  35. 35.  and although we do create meaning through narrative, with the structural implications of discourse and text . . .
  36. 36.  . . . our actions define us too.
  37. 37.  Whether or not we’re good at the spin.
  38. 38.  All stories are built upon actions.  Every act creates a meaning.  And acts, like Derridian speech, are things that cannot be erased, taken back, untraced. 
  39. 39.  They do not leave us unscathed.
  40. 40.  In the end, the information gets free.
  41. 41.  And it’s not the information, but the act,
  42. 42.  that makes the impact,
  43. 43.  that creates the meaning,
  44. 44.  that constructs the real.
  45. 45.  That breaks the heart.
  46. 46.  Or rather, it is the information.
  47. 47.  But it’s also the act.
  48. 48.  There’s no escape from one into the other.
  49. 49.  One is the Other.
  50. 50.  In summary, let’s review:
  51. 51.  The theory states,
  52. 52.  It’s not what you do . . .
  53. 53.  . . . it’s how you say it.
  54. 54. “In Search of Adele H,” a Twitter movie, https://twitter.com/adelehugo

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