Dogs: the psychology of love and rejection

Adam Croman
A d a m C r o m a n
Dogs: The Psychology
of Love and Rejection
Research has shown what many
of us have suspected for a long
time: dogs can love their human
companions. And if dogs are
capable of feeling love for
humans, that naturally leads to
another question: are they also
capable of loving other dogs?
When we consider adding
another dog to our family, can
we pick the cutest puppy at the
pound, or should we instead
search for an appropriate mate
for our current pet?
Though it’s impossible to know exactly what our pets are feeling, Marc
Bekoff, professor emeritus of Ecology and Evolutionary Biology at the
University of Colorado, Boulder, says that dogs can, in fact, fall in love with
other dogs and remain faithful lifetime mates. He says that, “If you define
love as a long-term commitment – meaning they seek one another out
when they’re apart, they’re happy when they’re reunited, they protect one
another, they feed one another, they raise children together – then of
course non-human animals love each other.” He tells a story of a friend’s
dog who fell in love, raised eight litters of puppies with her mate, and was
carefully cared for by the mate during a prolonged illness that necessitated
a leg amputation.
Dr. Stanley Coren, author of How to Speak Dog, says he believes it is
“more of a family love than romantic love,” something that resembles
what parents and children feel for one another. This is because many
researchers believe that a dog’s emotional range isn’t as developed as a
human’s.
The American Psychological Association likens canine intelligence to the
mental development of a two-year-old toddler. They’re capable of strong
emotions, complex problem-solving, understanding more than 150 words,
and manipulating others to get what they want. Emotional development,
range and intelligence varies dog-to-dog, but some believe that since
humans don’t develop romantic inclinations until they’re much older,
dogs wouldn’t be capable of romantic leanings, either. But no one has
definitively answered the question just yet. And whether or not puppy
love is sexual or familial, the fact remains that the relationships and
emotions are every bit as real and heartwarming.
The evidence for this isn’t purely
anecdotal, either. Science supports
the idea of puppy love, as well.
When experiencing strong emotions,
dogs show neurochemical changes
similar to humans. A study published
by the Proceedings of the National
Academy of Sciences states that
oxytocin, also known as the love
hormone, increases after dogs spend
time with their chosen dog partners.
Elevated oxytocin levels represent the
very same chemical reaction scientists
use to explain human love. Oxytocin
can be indicative of both romantic
and familial love. In addition to being
tied to mating, female dogs release it
when they return to their puppies
and puppies experience it when the
mom comes back.
Scent also plays a role in canine mating. Coren writes about the
Jacobson organ, a scent detection system distinctive to dogs. The
system allows dogs to extract essential information from another
dog’s pheromones, including gender, age, health, mood, and
stage of menstrual cycle. This information forms the basis of
what humans think of as the chemistry or initial attraction
between them.
Bekoff argues that dog-to-dog relationships can be more
“honest” and unfiltered than human love affairs and that, while
it’s certainly not always the case, most dogs are monogamous.
Dogs are capable of feeling the anguish of love, too, and hurt one
another in many of the same ways humans spurn their partners.
Certain dogs that aren’t interested in monogamy, for example,
bounce from partner-to-partner. There’s even a term for dogs who
attempt to seduce a mate that’s already committed to someone
else: they’re called sneak copulators. Dogs that have been rejected
by a mate will react in similar ways to humans feeling the same
emotions: grief, sadness, jealousy, anger.
Nicholas Dodman, who runs the Animal Behavior
Clinic at the Cummings School of Veterinary
Medicine at Tufts University, treats many dogs
for depression caused by the death of a dog they
loved. Dodman describes dogs that became
hysterical or completely shut down following a
death and says that “you cannot have depression
without a strong bond.”
Another recent study conducted in
Japan, centering on both cats and
dogs, found that more than half of
the pet owner participants could
often or sometimes attribute the
following emotions to their pets: joy,
surprise, anger, fear, sadness, disgust,
compassion and jealousy.
Though we can’t be sure of the exact
nature of canine love, and how
closely it aligns with what two
humans feel for one another, it’s clear
that the bond between two
companion dogs can be intense and
deeply felt. So it might be worth
involving your dog in any decisions
relating to future pets. You might be
lucky enough to observe one of these
loving relationships and decide for
yourself.
a d a m c r o m a n . c o m
1 of 9

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Dogs: the psychology of love and rejection

  • 1. A d a m C r o m a n Dogs: The Psychology of Love and Rejection
  • 2. Research has shown what many of us have suspected for a long time: dogs can love their human companions. And if dogs are capable of feeling love for humans, that naturally leads to another question: are they also capable of loving other dogs? When we consider adding another dog to our family, can we pick the cutest puppy at the pound, or should we instead search for an appropriate mate for our current pet?
  • 3. Though it’s impossible to know exactly what our pets are feeling, Marc Bekoff, professor emeritus of Ecology and Evolutionary Biology at the University of Colorado, Boulder, says that dogs can, in fact, fall in love with other dogs and remain faithful lifetime mates. He says that, “If you define love as a long-term commitment – meaning they seek one another out when they’re apart, they’re happy when they’re reunited, they protect one another, they feed one another, they raise children together – then of course non-human animals love each other.” He tells a story of a friend’s dog who fell in love, raised eight litters of puppies with her mate, and was carefully cared for by the mate during a prolonged illness that necessitated a leg amputation.
  • 4. Dr. Stanley Coren, author of How to Speak Dog, says he believes it is “more of a family love than romantic love,” something that resembles what parents and children feel for one another. This is because many researchers believe that a dog’s emotional range isn’t as developed as a human’s. The American Psychological Association likens canine intelligence to the mental development of a two-year-old toddler. They’re capable of strong emotions, complex problem-solving, understanding more than 150 words, and manipulating others to get what they want. Emotional development, range and intelligence varies dog-to-dog, but some believe that since humans don’t develop romantic inclinations until they’re much older, dogs wouldn’t be capable of romantic leanings, either. But no one has definitively answered the question just yet. And whether or not puppy love is sexual or familial, the fact remains that the relationships and emotions are every bit as real and heartwarming.
  • 5. The evidence for this isn’t purely anecdotal, either. Science supports the idea of puppy love, as well. When experiencing strong emotions, dogs show neurochemical changes similar to humans. A study published by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences states that oxytocin, also known as the love hormone, increases after dogs spend time with their chosen dog partners. Elevated oxytocin levels represent the very same chemical reaction scientists use to explain human love. Oxytocin can be indicative of both romantic and familial love. In addition to being tied to mating, female dogs release it when they return to their puppies and puppies experience it when the mom comes back.
  • 6. Scent also plays a role in canine mating. Coren writes about the Jacobson organ, a scent detection system distinctive to dogs. The system allows dogs to extract essential information from another dog’s pheromones, including gender, age, health, mood, and stage of menstrual cycle. This information forms the basis of what humans think of as the chemistry or initial attraction between them. Bekoff argues that dog-to-dog relationships can be more “honest” and unfiltered than human love affairs and that, while it’s certainly not always the case, most dogs are monogamous.
  • 7. Dogs are capable of feeling the anguish of love, too, and hurt one another in many of the same ways humans spurn their partners. Certain dogs that aren’t interested in monogamy, for example, bounce from partner-to-partner. There’s even a term for dogs who attempt to seduce a mate that’s already committed to someone else: they’re called sneak copulators. Dogs that have been rejected by a mate will react in similar ways to humans feeling the same emotions: grief, sadness, jealousy, anger. Nicholas Dodman, who runs the Animal Behavior Clinic at the Cummings School of Veterinary Medicine at Tufts University, treats many dogs for depression caused by the death of a dog they loved. Dodman describes dogs that became hysterical or completely shut down following a death and says that “you cannot have depression without a strong bond.”
  • 8. Another recent study conducted in Japan, centering on both cats and dogs, found that more than half of the pet owner participants could often or sometimes attribute the following emotions to their pets: joy, surprise, anger, fear, sadness, disgust, compassion and jealousy. Though we can’t be sure of the exact nature of canine love, and how closely it aligns with what two humans feel for one another, it’s clear that the bond between two companion dogs can be intense and deeply felt. So it might be worth involving your dog in any decisions relating to future pets. You might be lucky enough to observe one of these loving relationships and decide for yourself.
  • 9. a d a m c r o m a n . c o m