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Your Guide to Stopping the Zombies in Your Workplace

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Devouring your productivity. Infecting your team with frustration and tardiness. Workplace zombies are taking over your office. This slideshow helps you identify the different types of workplace zombies and shows you how to turn them back.

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Your Guide to Stopping the Zombies in Your Workplace

  1. YoLl‘e“'6uiDe To WORKPLACE .7.o’/ males AND STOPPINGTHEM FROM SPREADING
  2. STRESSED, PANICKED AND DRIVEN INTO A CATATONIC STATE, ZOMBIES ARE INVADING YOUR OFFICE AND DEVOURIN6 YOUR PRODUCTIVITY. READ ON TO LEARN HOW TO SPOT THEM AND TURN THEM BACK. .. BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
  3. II‘. /» , ' ll ~gwnW§‘ )4 5 I NEWLY INFECTED RERHAPS THE MOST DANSEROUS KIND OF WORK- PLACE ZOMBIE, THIS ONE DOESN'T KNOW OR DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW IT'S BEEN INFECTED. WITH THIS DENIAL COMES ALL SORT S OF PROBLEMS. OF EMPLOYEES LIE TO COVER UP FAILED PROJECTS, MISTAKES, OR MISSED DEADLINES
  4. SYIIIPIUMS: OVERWHW I S . NEWLY INFECTED 513355 , A nervous % ' . I SMILES PERHAPS THE MOST DANSEROUS KIND OF WORK- . /» >5” PLACE ZOMBIE, THIS ONE DOESN'T KNOW OR . DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW ITS BEEN INFECTED. WITH 1‘ g . All % V THIS DENIAL COMES ALL SORT 5 OF PROBLEMS. "‘““ 9‘: g .4" E3? FJINIIIIIIIIIISIIESS: is at at at at MISQNG * _ DIIMIIGE: §: :9: :3: : @: :3: .9: :9: :9: :9: DELIVERABLES FLOLINDERIN6 PROJECTS ' UNREPORTED Issues
  5. NAME: NEWLY INFECTED PERHAPS THE MOST DANGEROUS KIND OF WORK- PLACE ZOMBIE, THIS ONE DOESN'T KNOW OR DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW IT'S BEEN INFECTED. WITH THIS DENIAL COMES ALL SORT S OF PROBLEMS. '"”“sl‘Iii'. PROJECT STATUS HEART -TO-HEART TRACKING (PREFERABLY AND A PLATE OF REAL-TIME) FRESH-BAKED CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
  6. IIIIME: SHUFFLER WITHOUT CONSTANT REMINDERS, THIS ZOMBIE'S NEGLECT ED WORK REQUESTS CAN SWELL TO EPIC PROPORT IONS OR SIMPLY GET LOST IN THE CHAOS. THIS NEGLIGENCE SPILLS OVER INTO OTHERS’ WORK, INFECTING THEM WITH SIMILAR TARDINESS AND FRUSTRATION. 0 OF EMPLOYEES MISS K DEADLINES SOMETIMES OR OFTEN
  7. IIIIME: SHUFFLER WITHOUT CONSTANT REMINDERS, THIS ZOMBIE'S NEGLECT ED WORK REQUESTS CAN SWELL TO EPIC Y. PROPORT IONS OR SIMPLY GET LOST IN THE CHAOS. THIS NEGLIGENCE SPILLS OVER INTO OTHERS’ WORK, INFECTING THEM WITH SIMILAR TARDINESS LOST AND FRUSTRATION. Izeouesrs EONIIIGIDIISIIESS: AW : . V p I V ‘ STAKEHOLDERS 2
  8. IIIIME: SHUFFLER WITHOUT CONSTANT REMINDERS, THIS ZOMBIE' S NEGLECT ED WORK REQUESTS CAN SWELL TO EPIC PROPORT IONS OR SIMPLY GET LOST IN THE CHAOS. THIS NEGLIGENCE SPILLS OVER INTO OTHERS’ WORK, INFECTING THEM WITH SIMILAR TARDINESS AND FRUSTRATION. IIIIIR BEST - 3HOI: @ 0 REQUEST AT-RISK ADRENALINE MANAGEMENT REPORTS SHOT TO THE TOOL HEART
  9. NIIME: THE HERD THESE ZOMBIES NEVER QUESTION THEIR WORKLOADS, ACCEPTING REQUESTS BLINDLY, USUALLY INUNDATED WITH TASKS. THEY KEEP PLODDING FORWARD, UNDERSTAFFED AND OVERWORKED, BROUGHT TO A NEAR-CATATONIC STATE B SOUL-CRUSHING OVERTIME. E OF WORKERS SAY THEY'RE UNDER- j{ l 0 sTAFFED, RESULTING IN WORK 7 I’ A BEING DoNE AFTER uourzs 0 OF WORKERS SAY THEY WORK A MORE THAN 40 HRS/ WK
  10. SIMFIIIIVIS: NIIME: THE HERD THESE ZOMBIES NEVER QUESTION THEIR WORKLOADS, ACCEPTING REQUESTS BLINDLY, USUALLY INUNDATED WITH TASKS. THEY KEEP PLODDING FORWARD, UNDERSTAFFED AND OVERWORKED, BROUGHT TO A NEAR-CATATONIC STATE BY SOUL-CRUSHING OVERTIME. CUNIIIIIIBUSNESSI *'5”' T 13' '1' DIMMIE: 2.53: :5’: :53: :9: 1.9:. “-: HIGH AMOUNTS II oF overzrwse ill, ’ TWO-WEEK NOTICES
  11. ' M NAME: THE HERD . = ‘ THESE ZOMBIES NEVER QUESTION THEIR ’ , _ WORKLOADS, ACCEPTING REQUESTS BLINDLY, ; * USUALLY INUNDATED WITH TASKS. THEY KEEP " '. ‘ It PLODDING FORWARD, UNDERSTAFFED AND ii‘ ‘I I . _ OVERWORKED, BROUGHT TO A NEAR-CATATONIC & ‘, .’ » STATE BY SOUL-CRUSHING OVERTIME. . ‘I (I; YIIIIR BEST sum: I PROJECT HEART -TO-HEART STATUS AND A PLATE OF TRACKING FRESH-BAKED (PREFERABLY CHOCOLATE CHIP REAL-TIME) COOKIES
  12. IIIIME: CRAWLER THIS ZOMBIE SUBVERT S YOUR TEAM’S ESTABLISHED PROCESSES IN THE NAME OF SPEED AND EFFICIENCY. / . LINFORTUNATELY, THE CRAWLER'S "QUICK RESULTS’ SECRET LY SUCK UP YOUR RESOURCES, WHILE LURING OTHER TEAM MEMBERS. THIS MAKES THIS ZOMBIE MORE CONTAGIOUSNESS THAN A COLD SORE AT A NEW YEAR’ S EVE PARTY IN PARIS. .3 / 0 OF EMPLOYEES SAY THEY A IGNORE PROCESSES TO GET WORK DONE
  13. NAME: CRAWLER THIS ZOMBIE SUBVERT S YOUR TEAM’S ESTABLISHED PROCESSES IN THE NAME OF SPEED AND EFFICIENCY. UNFORTUNATELY, THE CRAWLER S "QUICK RESULTS’ SECRETLY SUCK UP YOUR RESOURCES, WHILE LURING OTHER TEAM MEMBERS. THIS MAKES THIS ZOMBIE MORE CONTAGIOUSNESS THAN A COLD SORE AT A NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY IN PARIS. IZUNIAGIIIIISNESS: NAMAGE: I SYMPIIIMS: PROJECTS COMPLETED WITHOUT APPROVAL HUSHED CONVERSATIONS RESOURCES WITH GUILTY LOOKS ON THEIR FACES AND EXTRA WORK IN THEIR QUEUES
  14. NAME: CRAWLER THIS ZOMBIE SUBVERT S YOUR TEAM’S ESTABLISHED PROCESSES IN THE NAME OF SPEED AND EFFICIENCY. UNFORTUNATELY, THE CRAWLER’ S "QUICK RESULTS' SECRETLY SUCK UP YOUR RESOURCES, WHILE LURING OTHER TEAM MEMBERS. THIS MAKES THIS ZOMBIE MORE CONTAGIOUSNESS THAN A COLD SORE AT A NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY IN PARIS. YOUR BEST ' HARD RULES, PROCESS- TIME OUT ES AND ENFORCEMENT GOVERNING USE OF RESOURCES
  15. NAME: I-IOWLER THE SQUEAKY WHEEL OF WORKPLACE ZOMBIES, THE I-IOWLER MAKES LOTS OF NOISE TO ATTRACT ATTENTION TO THEIR TASKS AND ISSUES, OFTEN USING POLITICAL CAPITAL TO GET THEIR WAY. I sAY oNE OR TWO OF THEIR TEAM ‘ 4 2 % MEMBERS CONSUME MOST OF THEIR RESOURCES
  16. SYMPTOMS: . .,, ,: A‘ W . 1; 1/ ‘I ‘ I ‘ THE SQUEAKY WHEEL OF WORKPLACE ZOMBIES, I ‘ ‘I: 9 THE HOWLER MAKES LOTS OF NOISE TO ATTRACT 4 ‘ A WWEILL MT ATTENTION TO THEIR TAsI<s AND IssuEs, OFTEN / ‘ pg ,7 To K557 USING POLITICAL CAPITAL TO GET THEIR WAY. , _ HIM/ HER HAPPY‘ V T T I RESOURCES , . I FROM JUSTIFIED, STRATE6IC PROJECTS MMIIBE: :9: :9: :9: :3: :9: :9: :9: :9: PHONE-, cALLs oz EMAILS T0 , s_LIPERIoRs OUTSIDE OF THE ESTABLISHED Pzocess / / /
  17. IIIIME: HOWLER THE SQUEAKY WHEEL OF WORKPLACE ZOMBIES, THE HOWLER MAKES LOTS OF NOISE TO ATTRACT ATTENTION TO THEIR TASKS AND ISSUES, OFTEN USING POLITICAL CAPITAL TO GET THEIR WAY. YUIIR BEST SIIBI: WELL-DEFINED REQUEST MANAGEMENT AND RESOURCE MANAGE- MENT PROCESSES MANAGEMENT’ S O BUYIN
  18. IIIIIVIE: THRILLER THIS ZOMBIE HIDES ITS LACK OF PRODUCTIVITY BEHIND A BEGUILINGLY FLASHY CLOAK. THIS CLOAK USUALLY CONSISTS OF FUDGING NUMBERS AND ONLY GETS MORE DECEPT IVE IN THE ABSENCE OF ACTUAL WORK DATA. THIS ZOMBIE IS RARE BUT STILL DANGEROUS. . / OF EMPbOYEES ADMIT TO INFLATING THEIR NUMBERS TO MAKE THEIR PERFORMANCE LOOK BETTER
  19. SYMPTOMS: / . /7.3 . N _, ’—“ } IIIIME: THRILLER THIS ZOMBIE HIDES ITS LACK OF PRODUCTIVITY BEHIND A BEGUILINGLY FLASHY CLOAK. THIs CLOAK USUALLY . CONSISTS OF FUDGING NUMBERS AND ONLY GETS ’ . I, MORE DECEPTIVE IN THE ABSENCE OF ACTUAL WORK * '1» I" DATA. THIS ZOMBIE IS RARE BUT STILL DANGEROUS. CONFUCTWG DATA ~’I‘? !TTITIli3I6EISNI‘. SS: IIIIMIIGE: 6/T LACK OF E" ACTUAL RESULTS
  20. IIIIME: THRILLER THIS ZOMBIE HIDES ITS LACK OF PRODUCTIVITY BEHIND A BEGUILINGLY FLASHY CLOAK. THIS CLOAK USUALLY CONSISTS OF FUDGING NUMBERS AND ONLY GETS MORE DECEPT IVE IN THE ABSENCE OF ACTUAL WORK DATA. THIS ZOMBIE IS RARE BUT STILL DANGEROUS. JTUEIR BEST SIIIIT: ® @ NUMBERS GATHERED PoI_y5gApg ‘,2’ CONSISTENTLY OVER 1551' YOUR ENTIRE TEAM’S WORK
  21. NIIME: SHIFTY OFTEN BY NO FAULT OF ITS OWN, THIS ZOMBIE DART S FROM ONE PROJECT TO ANOTHER ON A DAILY BASIS AS PRIORITIES SHIFT. AS THIS PATTERN CONTINUES, SHIFTY BECOMES INCREASINGLY ERRATIC UNTIL, ONE DAY, IT UNEXPECTEDLY MIGRATES TO ANOTHER WORKPLACE. 0 SAY THEIR WORK PRIORITIES SHIFT A DAILY, RESULTING IN WASTED TIME AND INCREASED STRESS
  22. SYMPTUMS: FALLING OFTEN BY NO FAULT OF ITS OWN, THIS ZOMBIE DART S FROM ONE PROJECT TO ANOTHER ON A DAILY PRODUCTIVITY BASIS AS PRIORITIES SHIFT . AS THIS PATTERN CONTINUES, SHIFTY BECOMES INCREASINGLY ERRATIC UNTIL, ONE DAY, IT UNEXPECTEDLY MIGRATES TO ANOTHER WORKPLACE. A GROWING BAOKLOOW THAT SPREADS To me We CONTAGIOUSNESS: Two-wEEI< MMME. 5,. ,1, .1 . NOTICES
  23. NIIME: SHIFTY OFTEN BY NO FAULT OF ITS OWN, THIS ZOMBIE DART S FROM ONE PROJECT TO ANOTHER ON A DAILY BASIS AS PRIORITIES SHIFT . AS THIS PATTERN CONTINUES, SHIFTY BECOMES INCREASINGLY ERRATIC UNTIL, ONE DAY, IT UNEXPECTEDLY MIGRATES TO ANOTHER WORKPLACE. OBJECTIVE DISTRACTION- SCORECARD FREE SYSTEM ENVIRONMENT
  24. NIIME: RLINNER T0 COPE wITH ITs RISING WORKLOADS, THE ‘ "W - I RUNNER FRANTICALLY SENDS OUT I-'LuRRIEs OF . ' ‘ MEETING INVITES AND EMAILS AND PEPPERS TEAM MEMBERS WITH IMPROMPT U VISITS. THE MORE . ‘ EMAILS AND MEETINGS THEY CREATE, THE MORE THEY INFECT OTHER TEAM MEMBERS. 31 304 BUSINESS mung EMAILS WASTED PER MONTH PER SENT TO THE EMPLOYEE IN UNPRODUCTIVE AVERAGE EMPLOYEE
  25. NAME: RLINNER TO COPE WITH ITS RISING WORKLOADS, THE RUNNER FRANTICALLY SENDS OUT FLURRIES OF MEETING INVITES AND EMAILS AND PEPPERS TEAM MEMBERS WITH IMPROMPT U VISITS. THE MORE /7 EMAILS AND MEETINGS THEY CREATE, THE 1 / Q‘ MORE THEY INFECT OTHER TEAM MEMBERS. CONTAGIOUSNESS: BBMBBE: SYMPTBMS: SUDDEN OUTBREAKS A OF STICKY NOTES FRANTIC
  26. NAME: RLINNER TO COPE WITH ITs RISING wORI<LOADs, THE I ‘ " RuNNER FRANTICALLY sENDs OUT FLURRIES OF I A ‘ v I MEETING INvITEs AND EMAILs AND PEPPERS TEAM . MEMBERS wITH IMPROMPTU vIsITs. THE MORE / , EMAILs AND MEETINGS THEY CREATE, THE . MK‘ MORE THEY INFECT OTHER TEAM MEMBERS. mun BEST sum; ® © LIMITS ON PROJECT AROMATHERAPY USE OF EMAIL, VISIBILITY FOR IM, AND ALL TEAM MEETINGS MEMBERS
  27. YOU CAN STOP THE ZOMBIES FROM DEVOURING YOUR OFFICE! THE WORKING DEAD CAN SHOW UP IN ANY WORKPLACE. ANY- WHERE TEAMS AND STAKEHOLDERS CAN'T SEE WHAT'S BEING WORKED ON. ANYWHERE REQUESTS ARE RECEIVED WILLY-NILLY AND PRIORITIZATION PROCESSES ARE UNDEFINED. ANYWHERE MANAGERS CAN'T SEE WHICH PROJECTS ARE LATE OR AT RISK. NOW THAT YOU KNOW WHAT CONDITIONS BREED THESE WORK- PLACE ZOMBIES, YOU HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO FIGHT BACK, TO TURN YOUR CO-WORKERS BACK BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
  28. ARMYOl&. FAGAI! lS'I'TI-EWOHCNGDEAD Workp| ace zombies don't stand a chance against the power of enterprises working together In one solution. Aflast u A clam-nnsed Enter-pvtse wark Maruqemern salmon mat M6175 marnong, If. and arm: ervtevpnse reams corvauer the cram at ucussnc tmlll. mound-II anus mniungl. ma awuvrnuctoa xooh. Unllku other tools. Aflask Enterprise work Cloud ts a cemrnltna. Oily-ID-vVOII| ll Iolutoon for rrunaumu and mltabormlnu on all types of work Imouuh the enuvc work Inecytla, wmch Improves turn proeoctmty I-nu uocumv vcuhvllty Am»: Is truszod by thuuamm on global anlorotscs. «are cars com. Clue Srysturns. Cavnno. Niourul Geoovanmz. Schrwtdnr Elrcmc and hair. 0 almskcom U + 1.865.641.0001 El + 44 (0)345 5083771 $ Sapllnllllru MP2 fl""“““ covw-In o= =m>.9s. >~. I AfI'&s. k'
  29. WORKS CITED "Survey: One-in-Five Workers Lie", Haefner, Careerbuilder, 2007. Working Dead Survey, AtTask | nc. , March 2014. 2013 AtTask Survey. AtTask | nc. , March 2013. “Meetings in America”, Verizon Business. David Daniels, JupiterResearch. December 2007. “'| nfomania' worse than marijuana", BBC News, April 2005. http: //www. worktolive. info/ biog/ bid/191788/| ncrease—Productivity-Take—a-Vacation

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