Humorous quotations and sayings about reading and books

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Humorous quotations and sayings about reading and books.

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Humorous quotations and sayings about reading and books

  1. 1. HUMOROUS QUOTATIONS AND SAYINGS ABOUT READING AND BOOKS Collected by Kathleen Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com www.WinningSpirit.com
  2. 2. Here are some of my favorite humorous sayings and quotes about reading and books. I hope you enjoy them and they make you smile .
  3. 3. Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. — Groucho Marx Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  4. 4. I can read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whichever end I like best. — Gracie Allen I can read a book twice as fast as anybody else. First I read the beginning, and then I read the ending, and then I start in the middle and read toward whichever end I like best. — Gracie Allen Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  5. 5. The covers of this book are too far apart. – Ambrose Bierce Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  6. 6. If we didn't have libraries, many people thirsty for knowledge would dehydrate. — Megan Jo Tetrick, age 12 Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  7. 7. No books are lost by loaning except those you particularly wanted to keep. — Author Unknown Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  8. 8. Everything comes to him who waits, except a loaned book. — Kin Hubbard Everything comes to him who waits except a loaned book. — Kin Hubbard Copyright  by Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  9. 9. Never lend books, for no one ever returns them. The only books I have in my library are books that other folks have leant me. — Anatole France   Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  10. 10. I was reading a book, “ The History of Glue.” I couldn't put it down. — Tim Vine Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  11. 11. Life happened because I turned the pages. — Alberto Manguel Copyright  by Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  12. 12. There's many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher. — Flannery O'Connor   Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  13. 13. I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a bookmark. — Steven Wright Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  14. 14. Someday I hope to write a book where the royalties will pay for the copies I give away. — Clarence Darrow   Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  15. 15. Never judge a book by its movie. — J.W. Eagan Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  16. 16. There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it. — Bertrand Russell Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  17. 17. The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense. — Tom Clancy Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  18. 18. A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. — Jerry Seinfield   Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  19. 19. Books are the blessed chloroform of the mind. — Robert Chambers Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  20. 20. If my books had been any worse, I should not have been invited to Hollywood …    … and if they had been any better, I should not have come. — Raymond Chandler Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  21. 21. I cringe when critics say I'm a master of the popular novel. What's an unpopular novel? — Irwin Shaw Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  22. 22. If you cannot say what you are going to say in 20 minutes you ought to go away and write a book about it. — John Cuthbert Moore-Brabazon Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  23. 23. A book may be compared to your neighbor; if it be good, it cannot last too long; if bad, you cannot get rid of it too early. — Henry Brooke Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  24. 24. 70 million books in America's libraries, but the one you want to read is always out. — Tom Masson Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  25. 25. Books had instant replay long before televised sports. — Bern Williams Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  26. 26. No one ever committed suicide while reading a good book, but many have tried while trying to write one. — Robert Byrne Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  27. 27. This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. — Dorothy Parker Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  28. 28. A wonderful thing about a book, in contrast to a computer screen, is that you can take it to bed with you. — Daniel J. Boorstin Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  29. 29. One always tends to over praise a long book because one has got through it. — E. M. Forster Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  30. 30. Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. — P.J. O’Rourke Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  31. 31. I have only read one book in my life and that is White Fang. It's so frightfully good I've never bothered to read another. — Nancy Mitford Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  32. 32. The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read. — Abraham Lincoln Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  33. 33. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. — Groucho Marx Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  34. 34. A wicked book is the wickeder because it cannot repent. — English Proverb REPENT! Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  35. 35. I am not a speed reader. I am a speed understander. — Isaac Asimov   Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  36. 36. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. — Mark Twain   Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  37. 37. Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind. — William Westmoreland   Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  38. 38. If you can read this, thank a teacher. — Anonymous Teacher   Kathleen L. Hawkins www.SpeedReadingExpert.com
  39. 39. Thanks for visiting my quotes presentation. Collected by Kathleen Hawkins To learn powerful speed-reading strategies that will help you to be the faster, better reader you want to be, visit Speed Reading Strategies eBook information www.SpeedReadingExpert.com

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