West Ridge Church Marriage Ministry <ul><li>“ Can You Hear Me Now?” </li></ul><ul><li>Communication Keys for Couples </li>...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>Level What We Say We Reveal </li></ul><ul><li>Elevator Talk Pleasantries Al...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>The ultimate goal of  </li></ul><ul><li>our communication is to  </li></ul>...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>1.  We need to acknowledge natural tendency. </li></ul><ul><li>Proverbs 12:...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>1.  We need to acknowledge natural tendency. </li></ul><ul><li>Luke 6:41-43...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>1.  We need to acknowledge natural tendency. </li></ul><ul><li>My natural t...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>1.  We need to acknowledge natural tendency. </li></ul><ul><li>My natural t...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>1.  We need to acknowledge natural tendency. </li></ul><ul><li>My natural t...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>2.  We must get to the heart of our problems:   </li></ul>
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>2.  We must get to the heart of our problems:   </li></ul><ul><li>  Our Hea...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>2.  We must get to the heart of our problems.   </li></ul><ul><li>Psalms 13...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>2.  We must get to the heart of our problems.   </li></ul><ul><li>The word ...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>2.  We must get to the heart of our problems.   </li></ul><ul><li>The word ...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>3.  Confess past failures to  God  and our  spouse </li></ul><ul><li>Psalm ...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>3.  Confess past failures to  God  and our  spouse </li></ul><ul><li>1 John...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>3.  Confess past failures to  God  and our  spouse </li></ul><ul><li>When w...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>3.  Confess past failures to  God  and our  spouse </li></ul><ul><li>James ...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>3.  Confess past failures to  God  and our  spouse </li></ul><ul><li>James ...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>3.  Confess past failures to  God  and our  spouse </li></ul><ul><li>James ...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>4.  We deal with our heart effectively  only </li></ul><ul><li>by having ou...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>4.  We deal with our heart effectively  only </li></ul><ul><li>by having ou...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>4.  We deal with our heart effectively  only </li></ul><ul><li>by having ou...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>4.  We deal with our heart effectively  only </li></ul><ul><li>by having ou...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>5.  Our mind is renewed by  learning  truth and  </li></ul><ul><li>applying...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>5.  Our mind is renewed by  learning  truth and  </li></ul><ul><li>applying...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>5.  Our mind is renewed by  learning  truth and  </li></ul><ul><li>applying...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul>
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(2)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(2)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(2)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(2)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(3)  Look ...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(3)  Look ...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(3)  Look ...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(3)  Look ...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(3)  Look ...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(4)  Devel...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(4)  Devel...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(4)  Devel...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(4)  Devel...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(4)  Devel...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(4)  Devel...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(4)  Devel...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(5)  We  l...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(5)  We  l...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(5)  We  l...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1)  Begin...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(6)  We le...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(6)  We le...
V.  Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6.  In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(6)  We le...
<ul><li>Five Major Keys of Effective Communication </li></ul><ul><li>1.  Maturing Character </li></ul><ul><li>2.  Mutual U...
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04 26 09 Moving Beyond The Basics To The Ulitmate Goal Part 1 Keys To Effective Communication Communication Keys For Couples

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Moving Beyond The Basics To The Ulitmate Goal Part 1 Keys To Effective Communication Communication Keys For Couples

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04 26 09 Moving Beyond The Basics To The Ulitmate Goal Part 1 Keys To Effective Communication Communication Keys For Couples

  1. 1. West Ridge Church Marriage Ministry <ul><li>“ Can You Hear Me Now?” </li></ul><ul><li>Communication Keys for Couples </li></ul>
  2. 2. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal
  3. 3. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>Level What We Say We Reveal </li></ul><ul><li>Elevator Talk Pleasantries Almost Nothing </li></ul><ul><li>Reporter Talk Facts Know </li></ul><ul><li>Intellectual Talk Thoughts Opinions </li></ul><ul><li>Emotional Talk Emotions Feel </li></ul><ul><li>Intimate Talk Secrets Desires/Fears/etc </li></ul>
  4. 4. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>The ultimate goal of </li></ul><ul><li>our communication is to </li></ul><ul><li>increase our level of intimacy. </li></ul>
  5. 5. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>1. We need to acknowledge natural tendency. </li></ul><ul><li>Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool seems right to him, but a </li></ul><ul><li>wise man listens to advice. </li></ul><ul><li>Proverbs 14:12 There is a way that seems right to a man, </li></ul><ul><li>but in the end it leads to death. </li></ul><ul><li>Proverbs 16:2 All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but </li></ul><ul><li>motives are weighed by the LORD. </li></ul><ul><li>Proverbs 16:25 There is a way that seems right to a man, </li></ul><ul><li>but in the end it leads to death. </li></ul>
  6. 6. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>1. We need to acknowledge natural tendency. </li></ul><ul><li>Luke 6:41-43 </li></ul><ul><li>&quot;Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's </li></ul><ul><li>eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How </li></ul><ul><li>can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck </li></ul><ul><li>out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in </li></ul><ul><li>your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your </li></ul><ul><li>eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from </li></ul><ul><li>your brother's eye. </li></ul>
  7. 7. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>1. We need to acknowledge natural tendency. </li></ul><ul><li>My natural tendency is to think that I am right </li></ul><ul><li>and you are wrong . </li></ul>
  8. 8. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>1. We need to acknowledge natural tendency. </li></ul><ul><li>My natural tendency is to think that I am right </li></ul><ul><li>and you are wrong . </li></ul><ul><li>That’s why we are quick to see other’s faults but </li></ul><ul><li>very slow to see our own. </li></ul>
  9. 9. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>1. We need to acknowledge natural tendency. </li></ul><ul><li>My natural tendency is to think that I am right </li></ul><ul><li>and you are wrong . </li></ul><ul><li>That’s why we are quick to see other’s faults but </li></ul><ul><li>very slow to see our own. </li></ul><ul><li>“ Our tendency is to judge others by their actions </li></ul><ul><li>and ourselves by our intentions .” </li></ul>
  10. 10. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>2. We must get to the heart of our problems: </li></ul>
  11. 11. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>2. We must get to the heart of our problems: </li></ul><ul><li> Our Heart </li></ul>
  12. 12. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>2. We must get to the heart of our problems. </li></ul><ul><li>Psalms 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; </li></ul><ul><li>test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any </li></ul><ul><li>offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. </li></ul><ul><li>Matthew 12:34 You brood of vipers, how can you who </li></ul><ul><li>are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the </li></ul><ul><li>Heart the mouth speaks . </li></ul><ul><li>Matthew 15:18 But the things that come out of the mouth </li></ul><ul><li>come from the heart …. </li></ul>
  13. 13. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>2. We must get to the heart of our problems. </li></ul><ul><li>The word “heart” is used in Scripture to mean </li></ul><ul><li>our inner self…the real me. </li></ul>
  14. 14. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>2. We must get to the heart of our problems. </li></ul><ul><li>The word “heart” is used in Scripture to mean </li></ul><ul><li>our inner self…the real me. </li></ul><ul><li>Our words and actions revea l what’s really </li></ul><ul><li>in our heart. </li></ul>
  15. 15. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>3. Confess past failures to God and our spouse </li></ul><ul><li>Psalm 32:5 Then I acknowledged my sin to </li></ul><ul><li>you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, &quot;I </li></ul><ul><li>will confess my transgressions to the LORD &quot;— </li></ul><ul><li>and you forgave the guilt of my sin. </li></ul><ul><li>Proverbs 28:13 He who conceals his sins does </li></ul><ul><li>not prosper, but whoever confesses and </li></ul><ul><li>renounces them finds mercy. </li></ul>
  16. 16. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>3. Confess past failures to God and our spouse </li></ul><ul><li>1 John 1:8-9 </li></ul><ul><li>If we claim to be without sin, we deceive </li></ul><ul><li>ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we </li></ul><ul><li>confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will </li></ul><ul><li>forgive us our sins and purify us from all </li></ul><ul><li>unrighteousness. </li></ul>
  17. 17. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>3. Confess past failures to God and our spouse </li></ul><ul><li>When we confess, we simply agree with God </li></ul><ul><li>that we are wrong and He is right. </li></ul>
  18. 18. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>3. Confess past failures to God and our spouse </li></ul><ul><li>James 5:16 </li></ul><ul><li>Therefore confess your sins to each other… </li></ul>
  19. 19. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>3. Confess past failures to God and our spouse </li></ul><ul><li>James 5:16 </li></ul><ul><li>Therefore confess your sins to each other… </li></ul><ul><li>In addition, we need to confess to our spouse </li></ul><ul><li>when we have wronged them. </li></ul>
  20. 20. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>3. Confess past failures to God and our spouse </li></ul><ul><li>James 5:16 </li></ul><ul><li>Therefore confess your sins to each other… </li></ul><ul><li>In addition, we need to confess to our spouse </li></ul><ul><li>when we have wronged them. </li></ul><ul><li>Our spouse is our God-given accountability </li></ul><ul><li>partner. </li></ul>
  21. 21. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>4. We deal with our heart effectively only </li></ul><ul><li>by having our mind renewed by God’s Word. </li></ul>
  22. 22. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>4. We deal with our heart effectively only </li></ul><ul><li>by having our mind renewed by God’s Word. </li></ul><ul><li>Romans 12:2 </li></ul><ul><li>Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this </li></ul><ul><li>world, but be transformed by the renewing of </li></ul><ul><li>your mind . </li></ul>
  23. 23. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>4. We deal with our heart effectively only </li></ul><ul><li>by having our mind renewed by God’s Word. </li></ul><ul><li>It is the ultimate mark of immaturity to say, </li></ul><ul><li>“ That’s just the way I am.” </li></ul>
  24. 24. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>4. We deal with our heart effectively only </li></ul><ul><li>by having our mind renewed by God’s Word. </li></ul><ul><li>It is the ultimate mark of immaturity to say, </li></ul><ul><li>“ That’s just the way I am.” </li></ul><ul><li>No matter what our circumstances, we </li></ul><ul><li>absolutely can change our bad patterns into </li></ul><ul><li>positive, mature, and honorable ones. </li></ul>
  25. 25. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>5. Our mind is renewed by learning truth and </li></ul><ul><li>applying it to our life. </li></ul><ul><li>John 8:31-32 </li></ul><ul><li>If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. </li></ul><ul><li>Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you </li></ul><ul><li>free. </li></ul>
  26. 26. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>5. Our mind is renewed by learning truth and </li></ul><ul><li>applying it to our life. </li></ul><ul><li>James 1:22-25 </li></ul><ul><li>Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves . </li></ul><ul><li>Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does </li></ul><ul><li>not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a </li></ul><ul><li>mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and </li></ul><ul><li>immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who </li></ul><ul><li>looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and </li></ul><ul><li>continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but </li></ul><ul><li>doing it—he will be blessed in what he does. </li></ul>
  27. 27. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>5. Our mind is renewed by learning truth and </li></ul><ul><li>applying it to our life. </li></ul><ul><li>We are set free from our past bad patterns as we </li></ul><ul><li>consciously embrace God’s Word and apply it to </li></ul><ul><li>our lives . </li></ul>
  28. 28. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul>
  29. 29. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1) Begin to see and relate properly to God. </li></ul>
  30. 30. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1) Begin to see and relate properly to God. </li></ul><ul><li>Psalm 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a </li></ul><ul><li>broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise. </li></ul><ul><li>Ecclesiastes 5:2 Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be </li></ul><ul><li>hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in </li></ul><ul><li>heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. </li></ul>
  31. 31. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1) Begin to see and relate properly to God. </li></ul><ul><li>Isaiah 66:2 &quot;This is the one I esteem : he who is </li></ul><ul><li>humble and contrite in spirit , and trembles at my word .” </li></ul><ul><li>James 4:6-10 God opposes the proud but gives grace </li></ul><ul><li>to the humble . Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist </li></ul><ul><li>the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God </li></ul><ul><li>and he will come near to you.…. Humble yourselves </li></ul><ul><li>before the Lord, and he will lift you up. </li></ul>
  32. 32. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1) Begin to see and relate properly to God. </li></ul><ul><li>Humility is simply seeing God for Who He </li></ul><ul><li>is….and ourselves for who we are. </li></ul>
  33. 33. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1) Begin to see and relate properly to God. </li></ul><ul><li>Humility is simply seeing God for Who He </li></ul><ul><li>is….and ourselves for who we are. </li></ul><ul><li>We should regularly acknowledge our absolute </li></ul><ul><li>need of Him in our life . </li></ul>
  34. 34. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1) Begin to see and relate properly to God. </li></ul><ul><li>We need to consciously invite God to be an </li></ul><ul><li>active Guide in our marriage. </li></ul>
  35. 35. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1) Begin to see and relate properly to God. </li></ul><ul><li>We need to consciously invite God to be an </li></ul><ul><li>active Guide in our marriage. </li></ul><ul><li>God moves into action on our behalf when we </li></ul><ul><li>humble ourselves. </li></ul>
  36. 36. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1) Begin to see and relate properly to God. </li></ul><ul><li>(2) Begin to see our spouse as God sees them. </li></ul>
  37. 37. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(2) Begin to see our spouse as God sees them. </li></ul><ul><li>Genesis 1:27 </li></ul><ul><li>So God created man in his own image, in the image of </li></ul><ul><li>God he created him; male and female he created them. </li></ul><ul><li>Romans 8:32 </li></ul><ul><li>He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for </li></ul><ul><li>us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously </li></ul><ul><li>give us all things? </li></ul>
  38. 38. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(2) Begin to see our spouse as God sees them. </li></ul><ul><li>Romans 12:9-10 </li></ul><ul><li>Love must be sincere….. Be devoted to one another in </li></ul><ul><li>brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves . </li></ul><ul><li>Philippians 2:3 </li></ul><ul><li>Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in </li></ul><ul><li>humility consider others better than yourselves… </li></ul>
  39. 39. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(2) Begin to see our spouse as God sees them. </li></ul><ul><li>We need to see them as the incredibly important </li></ul><ul><li>person that they are! </li></ul>
  40. 40. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(2) Begin to see our spouse as God sees them. </li></ul><ul><li>We need to see them as the incredibly important </li></ul><ul><li>person that they are! </li></ul><ul><li>Because we treat people the way we VIEW them. </li></ul>
  41. 41. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1) Begin to see and relate properly to God. </li></ul><ul><li>(2) Begin to see our spouse as God sees them. </li></ul><ul><li>(3) Look for ways to verbally encourage them. </li></ul>
  42. 42. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(3) Look for ways to verbally encourage them. </li></ul><ul><li>Proverbs 15:23 A man finds joy in giving an apt reply </li></ul><ul><li>— and how good is a timely word! </li></ul><ul><li>Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, </li></ul><ul><li>sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. </li></ul><ul><li>Proverbs 25:11 A word aptly spoken is like apples of </li></ul><ul><li>gold in settings of sliver . </li></ul>
  43. 43. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(3) Look for ways to verbally encourage them. </li></ul><ul><li>Ephesians 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love , we </li></ul><ul><li>will in all things grow up into him who is the Head…. </li></ul><ul><li>Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come </li></ul><ul><li>out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building </li></ul><ul><li>others up according to their needs , that it may benefit </li></ul><ul><li>those who listen. </li></ul>
  44. 44. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(3) Look for ways to verbally encourage them. </li></ul><ul><li>Colossians 4:6 </li></ul><ul><li>Let your conversation be always full of grace , seasoned </li></ul><ul><li>with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone </li></ul><ul><li>1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one </li></ul><ul><li>another and build each other up , just as…you are doing. </li></ul><ul><li>Hebrews 10:24 And let us consider how we may spur </li></ul><ul><li>one another on toward love and good deeds. </li></ul>
  45. 45. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(3) Look for ways to verbally encourage them. </li></ul><ul><li>It is absolutely true that we all have an </li></ul><ul><li>“ emotional bank account!” </li></ul>
  46. 46. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(3) Look for ways to verbally encourage them. </li></ul><ul><li>It is absolutely true that we all have an </li></ul><ul><li>“ emotional bank account!” </li></ul><ul><li>We should be making massive deposits </li></ul><ul><li>each day to our spouse’s account. </li></ul>
  47. 47. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1) Begin to see and relate properly to God. </li></ul><ul><li>(2) Begin to see our spouse as God sees them. </li></ul><ul><li>(3) Look for ways to verbally encourage them. </li></ul><ul><li>(4) Develop an attitude of a servant to spouse. </li></ul>
  48. 48. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(4) Develop an attitude of a servant to spouse. </li></ul><ul><li>Matthew 20:25-27 &quot;You know that the rulers of the </li></ul><ul><li>Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise </li></ul><ul><li>authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever </li></ul><ul><li>wants to become great among you must be your servant , </li></ul><ul><li>and whoever wants to be first must be your slave… </li></ul><ul><li>Mark 10:45 For even the Son of Man did not come to be </li></ul><ul><li>served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. </li></ul>
  49. 49. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(4) Develop an attitude of a servant to spouse. </li></ul><ul><li>Philippians 2:4 – 7 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or </li></ul><ul><li>vain conceit, but in humility conside r others better than </li></ul><ul><li>yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own </li></ul><ul><li>interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude </li></ul><ul><li>should be the same as that of Christ Jesus : Who…. Made </li></ul><ul><li>himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant , being </li></ul><ul><li>made in human likeness….. he humbled himself and became </li></ul><ul><li>obedient to death — even death on a cross! </li></ul>
  50. 50. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(4) Develop an attitude of a servant to spouse. </li></ul><ul><li>Galatians 5:13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. </li></ul><ul><li>But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; </li></ul><ul><li>rather, serve one another in love . </li></ul><ul><li>Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's workmanship, created in </li></ul><ul><li>Christ Jesus to do good works , which God prepared in </li></ul><ul><li>advance for us to do. </li></ul>
  51. 51. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(4) Develop an attitude of a servant to spouse. </li></ul><ul><li>1 Peter 4:10 Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. </li></ul>
  52. 52. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(4) Develop an attitude of a servant to spouse. </li></ul><ul><li>We are behaving in a Godly manner when we </li></ul><ul><li>serve our spouse. </li></ul>
  53. 53. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(4) Develop an attitude of a servant to spouse. </li></ul><ul><li>We are behaving in a Godly manner when we </li></ul><ul><li>serve our spouse. </li></ul><ul><li>We KICK open the door to great communication </li></ul><ul><li>as we serve our spouse! </li></ul>
  54. 54. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(4) Develop an attitude of a servant to spouse. </li></ul><ul><li>We are behaving in a Godly manner when we </li></ul><ul><li>serve our spouse. </li></ul><ul><li>We KICK open the door to great communication </li></ul><ul><li>as we serve our spouse! </li></ul><ul><li>Challenge: Attempt to out-serve your spouse! </li></ul>
  55. 55. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1) Begin to see and relate properly to God. </li></ul><ul><li>(2) Begin to see our spouse as God sees them. </li></ul><ul><li>(3) Look for ways to verbally encourage them. </li></ul><ul><li>(4) Develop an attitude of a servant to spouse. </li></ul><ul><li>(5) We learn to talk….if we feel like it or not. </li></ul>
  56. 56. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(5) We learn to talk….if we feel like it or not. </li></ul><ul><li>Proverbs 16:21 The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction. </li></ul><ul><li>1 Peter 3:7 </li></ul><ul><li>Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives… </li></ul>
  57. 57. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(5) We learn to talk….if we feel like it or not. </li></ul><ul><li>A husband’s silence increases the anxiety of </li></ul><ul><li>his wife. </li></ul>
  58. 58. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(5) We learn to talk….if we feel like it or not. </li></ul><ul><li>A husband’s silence increases the anxiety of </li></ul><ul><li>his wife. </li></ul><ul><li>Work at expressing how you feel . </li></ul>
  59. 59. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(1) Begin to see and relate properly to God. </li></ul><ul><li>(2) Begin to see our spouse as God sees them. </li></ul><ul><li>(3) Look for ways to verbally encourage them. </li></ul><ul><li>(4) Develop an attitude of a servant to spouse. </li></ul><ul><li>(5) We learn to talk….if we feel like it or not. </li></ul><ul><li>(6) We learn to give appropriate feedback . </li></ul>
  60. 60. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(6) We learn to give appropriate feedback . </li></ul><ul><li>Proverbs 12:18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. </li></ul><ul><li>Proverbs 15:2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly. </li></ul>
  61. 61. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(6) We learn to give appropriate feedback . </li></ul><ul><li>A wise spouse will affirm the positive efforts of </li></ul><ul><li>their spouse. </li></ul>
  62. 62. V. Beyond Basics to the Ultimate Goal <ul><li>6. In our marriage, applying truth means we : </li></ul><ul><li>(6) We learn to give appropriate feedback . </li></ul><ul><li>A wise spouse will affirm the positive efforts of </li></ul><ul><li>their spouse. </li></ul><ul><li>A wise spouse will not over-react when things </li></ul><ul><li>don’t go perfectly. </li></ul>
  63. 63. <ul><li>Five Major Keys of Effective Communication </li></ul><ul><li>1. Maturing Character </li></ul><ul><li>2. Mutual Understanding </li></ul><ul><li>3. Unconditional Acceptance </li></ul><ul><li>4. Common Sense </li></ul><ul><li>5. Selfless Service </li></ul>

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