West Ridge Church Marriage Ministry <ul><li>“ Can You Hear Me Now?” </li></ul><ul><li>Communication Keys for Couples </li>...
III. Dealing With Our Differences
III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>Introduction:  “Irreconcilable Differences?” </li></ul><ul><li>The best marriage...
III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>Our Natural Response to Differences </li></ul>
III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>Our Natural Response to Differences </li></ul><ul><li>1.  Believe that we are  r...
III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>Our Natural Response to Differences </li></ul><ul><li>3.  But when they don’t, w...
III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>4.  Most of these techniques have the unintended </li></ul><ul><li>result of pus...
III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>The Desired Response </li></ul>
III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>The Desired Response </li></ul><ul><li>1.  Recognize that God has not called us ...
III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>The Desired Response </li></ul><ul><li>2.  Accept our spouse as God’s  gift  to ...
III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>The Desired Response </li></ul><ul><li>2.  Accept our spouse as God’s  gift  to ...
III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>The Desired Response </li></ul><ul><li>3.   Learn to  embrace  these differences...
III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>The Desired Response </li></ul><ul><li>3.   Learn to  embrace  these differences...
III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>We are different and…. </li></ul><ul><li>DATING </li></ul><ul><li>Gee, hadn’t re...
III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>We are different and…. </li></ul><ul><li>DATING </li></ul><ul><li>Gee, hadn’t re...
III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>We are different and…. </li></ul><ul><li>THE WALL </li></ul><ul><li>I’m okay wit...
III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>5.  Embracing our differences creates a  safe environment  in which we can talk....
<ul><li>Five Major Keys of Effective Communication </li></ul><ul><li>1.  Maturing   Character </li></ul><ul><li>2.  Mutual...
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03 29 09 Improving Communication By Dealing With Our Differences Part I Keys To Effective Communication Communication Keys For Couples

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03 29 09 Improving Communication By Dealing With Our Differences

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03 29 09 Improving Communication By Dealing With Our Differences Part I Keys To Effective Communication Communication Keys For Couples

  1. 1. West Ridge Church Marriage Ministry <ul><li>“ Can You Hear Me Now?” </li></ul><ul><li>Communication Keys for Couples </li></ul>
  2. 2. III. Dealing With Our Differences
  3. 3. III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>Introduction: “Irreconcilable Differences?” </li></ul><ul><li>The best marriages are generally those that </li></ul><ul><li>have full alignment in values but differ in core </li></ul><ul><li>personality temperament . </li></ul><ul><li>It is not enough to recognize our differences – </li></ul><ul><li>we must also respond appropriately. </li></ul>
  4. 4. III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>Our Natural Response to Differences </li></ul>
  5. 5. III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>Our Natural Response to Differences </li></ul><ul><li>1. Believe that we are right and they are wrong . </li></ul><ul><li>2. At first, we are patient and hope they will change on their own. </li></ul>
  6. 6. III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>Our Natural Response to Differences </li></ul><ul><li>3. But when they don’t, we attempt to change them through a variety of techniques. </li></ul><ul><li>-- Joke about it -- Teach or coach </li></ul><ul><li>-- Shame them -- Nag repeatedly </li></ul><ul><li>-- Yell about it -- Cry about it </li></ul><ul><li>-- Shut down/silence </li></ul>
  7. 7. III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>4. Most of these techniques have the unintended </li></ul><ul><li>result of pushing our spouse away. </li></ul><ul><li>5. And over time, this leads to isolation – the very </li></ul><ul><li>opposite of intimacy. </li></ul><ul><li>6. If this pattern is not changed, this behavior </li></ul><ul><li>ends up in: -- Divorce </li></ul><ul><li>-- “M & M” Marriage </li></ul><ul><li> Married and Miserable </li></ul>
  8. 8. III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>The Desired Response </li></ul>
  9. 9. III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>The Desired Response </li></ul><ul><li>1. Recognize that God has not called us </li></ul><ul><li>to change our spouse -- that’s His job! </li></ul><ul><li>Because “opposites attract,” we tend to be </li></ul><ul><li>strong in areas our spouse is weak . </li></ul><ul><li>Don’t try to change your spouse. </li></ul><ul><li>Instead, allow God to use them to change me . </li></ul>
  10. 10. III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>The Desired Response </li></ul><ul><li>2. Accept our spouse as God’s gift to us for </li></ul><ul><li>helping us grow. </li></ul><ul><li>Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib </li></ul><ul><li>he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to </li></ul><ul><li>the man . The man and his wife were both naked, </li></ul><ul><li>and they felt no shame. Genesis 2:22,25 </li></ul>
  11. 11. III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>The Desired Response </li></ul><ul><li>2. Accept our spouse as God’s gift to us for </li></ul><ul><li>helping us grow. </li></ul><ul><li>Our spouse is our God-given accountability </li></ul><ul><li>partner! </li></ul><ul><li>We should be asking: </li></ul><ul><li>What is God trying to teach me? </li></ul>
  12. 12. III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>The Desired Response </li></ul><ul><li>3. Learn to embrace these differences . </li></ul><ul><li>Romans 15:7 </li></ul><ul><li>Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted </li></ul><ul><li>you , in order to bring praise to God. </li></ul>
  13. 13. III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>The Desired Response </li></ul><ul><li>3. Learn to embrace these differences . </li></ul><ul><li>4. Understand the stages of this process. </li></ul>
  14. 14. III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>We are different and…. </li></ul><ul><li>DATING </li></ul><ul><li>Gee, hadn’t really noticed. Ignore </li></ul><ul><li>MARRIAGE </li></ul><ul><li>Yikes!!! Recognize </li></ul><ul><li>I get it….intellectually. Understand </li></ul><ul><li>I can live with that…if I must. Tolerate </li></ul><ul><li>THE WALL </li></ul>
  15. 15. III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>We are different and…. </li></ul><ul><li>DATING </li></ul><ul><li>Gee, hadn’t really noticed. Ignore </li></ul><ul><li>MARRIAGE </li></ul><ul><li>Yikes!!! Recognize </li></ul><ul><li>I get it….intellectually. Understand </li></ul><ul><li>I can live with that…if I must. Tolerate </li></ul><ul><li>THE WALL MUST PUSH PAST !!! </li></ul>
  16. 16. III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>We are different and…. </li></ul><ul><li>THE WALL </li></ul><ul><li>I’m okay with that…..really. Accept </li></ul><ul><li>I’m glad for you. Appreciate </li></ul><ul><li>I see how that benefits us! Embrace </li></ul>
  17. 17. III. Dealing With Our Differences <ul><li>5. Embracing our differences creates a safe environment in which we can talk. </li></ul><ul><li>6. The result is that our spouse feels unconditional acceptance . </li></ul><ul><li>We reach higher levels of intimacy only as we feel unconditionally accepted. </li></ul>
  18. 18. <ul><li>Five Major Keys of Effective Communication </li></ul><ul><li>1. Maturing Character </li></ul><ul><li>2. Mutual Understanding </li></ul><ul><li>3. Unconditional Acceptance </li></ul><ul><li>Will you accept me as I am? </li></ul>

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