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All consultants are EVIL

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Some people think all CONSULTANTS are evil and they offer a lot of reasons why. This presentation takes a humorous look at some of these reasons then make suggestions on how to spot the excellent consultants that DO make a difference.

Published in: Business, Technology

All consultants are EVIL

  1. All CONSULTANTS are Evil
  2. Some people think all CONSULTANTS are evil. Here are some of the things they say …
  3. They cut you open to gain understanding …
  4. … but then fail spectacularly to truly comprehend your inner workings.
  5. They construct detailed plans with prepackaged abstractions ...
  6. … but when it comes to implementation “WTF” acquires a whole new meaning.
  7. They have a way to suck out your very best ideas in a spirit of collaboration ...
  8. … then claim it as their own in a breathtaking “I’m a superhero” act.
  9. They whip out their cookie cutter solutions ...
  10. … and you fall to pieces in unexpected ways.
  11. They make a massive song and dance to get you committed …
  12. … then send a hapless minion to do the work (or worse, THEY turn out to be a minion).
  13. They get lyrical about the impact of their awesome solutions ...
  14. … but all you get is the breathtaking impact of their misguided conviction.
  15. They enthusiastically share vast volumes of “stuff” ...
  16. … that admirably succeeds in entangling you in inescapable perplexity.
  17. They lead with the tunnel vision of a prewritten script ...
  18. … and when you go off the cliff it’s your fault … well it is, isn’t it?
  19. They demand your weight in gold ...
  20. … and when they’re done you become just another skeleton in their closet.
  21. All consultant are evil. Or are they?
  22. There are some truly excellent consultants. I speak from personal experience.
  23. They come in with highly specific knowledge and expertise. They help identify problems and create solutions. They lead you through a minefield of challenges.
  24. Don’t let preconceptions rob you of the opportunity to ask for advice and guidance.
  25. Look for a consultant that captures your attention, offers you valuable, engaging information and one that others endorse as a leader in the field.
  26. Look for: “Wow, that’s impressive”.
  27. Look for: “Aha, I get it”.
  28. Look for: “Yippee, I win”.
  29. Thank you for watching this WAKSTER presentation. Did you know? These characters are available for use in your presentations and marketing. Find out more at http://bit.ly/17QrJpo
  30. Brought to you by WAKSTER Specialists in Characters and Visual Storytelling Liked this presentation? We can do the same for you! http://www.wakster.com www.wakster.com

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