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All consultants are EVIL


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Some people think all CONSULTANTS are evil and they offer a lot of reasons why. This presentation takes a humorous look at some of these reasons then make suggestions on how to spot the excellent consultants that DO make a difference.

Published in: Business, Technology

All consultants are EVIL

  1. All CONSULTANTS are Evil
  2. Some people think all CONSULTANTS are evil. Here are some of the things they say …
  3. They cut you open to gain understanding …
  4. … but then fail spectacularly to truly comprehend your inner workings.
  5. They construct detailed plans with prepackaged abstractions ...
  6. … but when it comes to implementation “WTF” acquires a whole new meaning.
  7. They have a way to suck out your very best ideas in a spirit of collaboration ...
  8. … then claim it as their own in a breathtaking “I’m a superhero” act.
  9. They whip out their cookie cutter solutions ...
  10. … and you fall to pieces in unexpected ways.
  11. They make a massive song and dance to get you committed …
  12. … then send a hapless minion to do the work (or worse, THEY turn out to be a minion).
  13. They get lyrical about the impact of their awesome solutions ...
  14. … but all you get is the breathtaking impact of their misguided conviction.
  15. They enthusiastically share vast volumes of “stuff” ...
  16. … that admirably succeeds in entangling you in inescapable perplexity.
  17. They lead with the tunnel vision of a prewritten script ...
  18. … and when you go off the cliff it’s your fault … well it is, isn’t it?
  19. They demand your weight in gold ...
  20. … and when they’re done you become just another skeleton in their closet.
  21. All consultant are evil. Or are they?
  22. There are some truly excellent consultants. I speak from personal experience.
  23. They come in with highly specific knowledge and expertise. They help identify problems and create solutions. They lead you through a minefield of challenges.
  24. Don’t let preconceptions rob you of the opportunity to ask for advice and guidance.
  25. Look for a consultant that captures your attention, offers you valuable, engaging information and one that others endorse as a leader in the field.
  26. Look for: “Wow, that’s impressive”.
  27. Look for: “Aha, I get it”.
  28. Look for: “Yippee, I win”.
  29. Thank you for watching this WAKSTER presentation. Did you know? These characters are available for use in your presentations and marketing. Find out more at
  30. Brought to you by WAKSTER Specialists in Characters and Visual Storytelling Liked this presentation? We can do the same for you!