WM . (C H I P ) V A L U T I S , P H D
HOW TO MAKE
CONFLICT YOUR FRIEND
Principles and Concepts for
Individuals/Teams
Styles of Conflict
Confidence in managing conflict
Consequences of Unconfron...
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
WHEN (not if) you are in a conflict – the style
you use has a big impact on the outcome.
Understandi...
CLASSIC STYLES OF CONFLICT:
THE WARRIOR
• Openly aggressive
• Looks to kill, not compromise
• Uses any trick in the book; ...
CLASSIC STYLES OF CONFLICT:
THE SNIPER
• Doesn’t confront directly; waits
for subtle opportunity
• Silent but deadly; hard...
CLASSIC STYLES OF CONFLICT:
THE MONARCH
• Holds ultimate power and
exercises it to his/her benefit
• Can start or stop a c...
CLASSIC STYLES OF CONFLICT:
THE DIPLOMAT
• Avoids conflict at all costs; quick to gloss
over problems
• Won’t be open abou...
CLASSIC STYLES OF CONFLICT:
THE AVOIDER
• Prefers to tell others instead of you
(triangles)
• Plays games to avoid real is...
CLASSIC STYLES OF CONFLICT:
THE COLLABORATOR
• Problem solving; focuses on issues,
not personalities
• “This is my thinkin...
REFLECTION
• Can you see yourself in some of the examples?
• Coworkers?
• Friends?
• Different combinations of conflict st...
CONSEQUENCES OF
UNCONFRONTED STYLES
Regression
• Fall into petty arguments
• Childish: “Yes you did, no I didn’t”
Selectiv...
Please feel free to contact us with any questions or to schedule an
appointment to discuss your organization's needs and h...
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How To Make Conflict Your Friend

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A workshop in the different styles of conflict and how to recognize them in the workplace.

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  • Starts at 00:50
  • Starts at 2:00 minute mark
  • Starts at 2:52
  • Starts at 3:55
  • Starts at 5:00 minute mark
  • Starts at 6:00 minute mark
  • Starts at 7:08; Ends at 8:30
  • Starts at 9:15ish
  • How To Make Conflict Your Friend

    1. 1. WM . (C H I P ) V A L U T I S , P H D HOW TO MAKE CONFLICT YOUR FRIEND
    2. 2. Principles and Concepts for Individuals/Teams Styles of Conflict Confidence in managing conflict Consequences of Unconfronted Conflict WHAT TO EXPECT http://meandthemexican.blogspot.com/2011/07/two-aries-una-cama.html
    3. 3. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT WHEN (not if) you are in a conflict – the style you use has a big impact on the outcome. Understanding your style (as well as the style of others) helps predict success (or failure) Let’s look at some classic styles and then discuss
    4. 4. CLASSIC STYLES OF CONFLICT: THE WARRIOR • Openly aggressive • Looks to kill, not compromise • Uses any trick in the book; a street fighter • Little logical reason for action • Winning is more appropriate than resolution http://www.efficiencyconsultants.net/
    5. 5. CLASSIC STYLES OF CONFLICT: THE SNIPER • Doesn’t confront directly; waits for subtle opportunity • Silent but deadly; hard to confront for their actions • Passive-aggressive; make sure they can’t be accountable • Good at subtle pot shots (publicly or privately)
    6. 6. CLASSIC STYLES OF CONFLICT: THE MONARCH • Holds ultimate power and exercises it to his/her benefit • Can start or stop a conflict at will • Royal edicts replace healthy discussion and resolution http://www.hdwallpaperspics.com/crown-jewels- pictures.html
    7. 7. CLASSIC STYLES OF CONFLICT: THE DIPLOMAT • Avoids conflict at all costs; quick to gloss over problems • Won’t be open about feelings, concerns or thoughts • Makes you feel crazy: “I’m not upset – it must be you.” • Gives in quickly for the “good of the order” http://www.umcom.org
    8. 8. CLASSIC STYLES OF CONFLICT: THE AVOIDER • Prefers to tell others instead of you (triangles) • Plays games to avoid real issues • Can’t be pinned down to their real feelings or issues http://www.wikinut.com/
    9. 9. CLASSIC STYLES OF CONFLICT: THE COLLABORATOR • Problem solving; focuses on issues, not personalities • “This is my thinking, what’s yours? Let’s find the best solution” • Win-win solutions; builds trust http://www.theall-inway.com
    10. 10. REFLECTION • Can you see yourself in some of the examples? • Coworkers? • Friends? • Different combinations of conflict styles create different dynamics • Keep an eye out for these styles in your life • Consequences http://www.100open.com/2011/10/how-diligent-is-your-due-diligence/magnifying-glass/
    11. 11. CONSEQUENCES OF UNCONFRONTED STYLES Regression • Fall into petty arguments • Childish: “Yes you did, no I didn’t” Selective Perception • See what you want to support your argument • Only see the world from your perspective Self Fulfilling Prophesy • Expect a conflict and that is what happens Loss of Trust and Respect
    12. 12. Please feel free to contact us with any questions or to schedule an appointment to discuss your organization's needs and how we can help. Contact: (716) 634-2553 chip@valutisconsulting.com Visit our Blog Check us out on Slideshare Follow us on Twitter Link with us

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