Far away from Eden, ep.5.3.: Vamp Raider
Ep.5.3. of my Apocalegacy: Evil Plans, Evil Plots, Evil Simselfs... totally EVIL! ENJOY!
Family Name: Apocalypso
Lot Name: Hideout
Categories:Komödie,Lebensgeschichten der Sims,Satire
"...to the 'F.a.F.-Eden', the 'Fun and
Free like in Eden' -Simself Lair,
generously financed by Little Nemo
a.k.a. Twilightoutside, writer of the
'Far away from Eden'-Vampogacy. I'm
Cel, moderator at
www.boolprop.com, writer of the 'At
the gate of Baldur'-Apocalypse
Challenge, the Once-upon-a-Prettacy,
the Phoenix Legacy, the Egyptian
Matriarch Legacy and the Legacion
"Come ON, Come on... frammit,
Cel - everything been said -
Thepiepers5: wrote the "Escape's
destiny" - AC -, writes the ' Tha simple
Life' - Legacy -
"...well, and by unanonimous vote,
since Mr. Nemo seems to have been
kidnapped or so, I'm also the manager
of this Lair, so follow the rules, and
we will all be best friends, okay?
"yes,yes... just a bit farther, just..."
" Okay, first of all: as the Name 'Fun
and Free' (yes, a stupid name, I
know...) says, everything here is free -
we have a million Simoleons to spent,
so don't be shy - and of course for
Fun... and when I say 'fun' , I mean
'family-friendly Fun', if you want to
kill somebody or each other, do it
"... okay, exceptions are possible, but
you need permission, or you're the
next one, capisce?! Okay, now listen,I
won't tell the rules again..."
"... the Weather machine has been set
to eternal summer, if you want winter,
you're free to leave, roam the
neighborhood, throw water balloons,
kill or get killed by the vampires... if
there is an ominous need for a meteor
hive, this can be done though..."
Supersinger88 aka Kiwi2340 (still
without the right Custom hair...) -
writes the 'apocalypse devastation' -
"...the Swimmingpool is for
swimming, nobody pees in it, nobody
uses harpoons or other weapons in it,
nobody tries to drown someone else
in it ANNND: nobody removes a
ladder in the time I'm in, if you want
to see the next day, understand?!"
on the left track: Robinoli aka
Omgrobinnn, wrote and completed
the Apocalypse a la Arduenna, writes
the 'It's a legacy, Darling'-Legacy -
on the right: Tacy00P, wrote ' A very
short apocalypse story'-AC-
"... bubble blowers and keg are free for
everyone, including minors, because
they were both made by maxis and
therefore rated for teens, so tone
down the obvious 'EGAD, drugs and
alcohol'-whining and just get
plastered, stoned or search for your
Llama, however you want..."
Superdewk, writes the 'apocalypse of
DonDude, writes the 'Insomnia'-
Apocalypse, fall in love with Heiress
Amaryllis as a teenager...
"... the dining room can be used at any
time, eat-what-you-can and bad
manners are allowed, just keep sure,
that your food isn't covered in flies,
the last we want is a collective food
poisoning - oh, and NO ONE, no one
poisons other persons food, we - don't
- want a second 'ten ceasars'-Legacy
here - after all, we have to think of
"... the community bathroom is free to
use, but we will check EVERY day, if
somebody has tried to liquify a victim
to erase his or her tracks and then
forgot to clean up - remember, others
want to cover their actions, too!... - oh,
and not so much 'soap jokes',
everyone knows, that this was a
"... the beds are free to use as well, and
it is intended, that there aren't as
much beds as Sims... so please drink,
dance, hit, smoke, eat or vomit
yourself into delirium as much as you
want, that way there'll always be a
free bed in case of emergencies
... and yes, you might watch, if you
want, but on your own risk..."
"... finally, the Computer room should
not only be used to update your
legacies and contests, answer threads
or ask questions, up- or download
creations, play with your favourite
game, hack top secret material and
sell it via ebay... but also to increase
your creativity first, in case you want
to play music...
"...because there is a reason, why the
instruments are on the top floor, so
unless you're able or in eager need of
learning how to fly..."
Kararoke: SnootCB, writes the
'Apocachocolypse'-AC, the Mission
impossible - Legacy, the 'It's
legalicious'-Legacy and the 'Louis
Loveslave Bachelorette Challenge to
E-Guitar: Hippylayla86, writes the
'Bernadette Peters: the Apocalypse
DJ: JAK (Giggy6004), wrote the
'Automobile challenge'-AC -
Drums: Blaqhawk, writes 'Beginning
of an end of an Apoc'-AC-
"... annnd if you just follow these
totally easy rules and enjoy your stay,
we won't have any problems with
each other, right?"
"... yes... yes...yesyesyesyes... I'm so
close... I... I..."
From Left to right:
- Tiffanyk aka Tiffanykisten, writes
the 'From Riches to Rags: Brad and
Angelina'- Apocalypse Challenge and
the 'Legacy for points' -
- Willowdanin. writes the
'Armageddon Apocalypse'- AC -
- Darby aka tamandar75 - wrote the
'Dizaster Family'- AC -
- Bree aka KatrinaAngel234, writes the
'Blake Apocalypse'- AC -
- DJXavier13, wrote and completed
the 'Ryder Apocalypse' - AC -
- Kira aka ChrystalCrossing, writes
the 'Apocalypse of grief' - AC -
- Fireweazel5555, wrote the
'Ugocaplypse' -AC -
- Nickywal, wrote the 'Walker
apocalypse' -AC -
" Hmmm, strange, shouldn't there be
more... and also some Non-
" According to the Computer, they'll
arrive next chapter... there was a
vampire incident on the way here... "
" Send the bus driver a message and
tell him, next time he shouldn't stop
on the way, there are enough of
vampires left to kill after they arrive
here... but still I expected more..."
"Ehrm, Cel, there was another guy
with us... name was 'Sonicdude' or
so... well, he jumped off near the
Counts Castle... something about a
'contract' or so..."
Location: Counts Castle, temporary
headquarter of the potty god's religious
"... and then we should drop a
bazillion of satellites on them,
containing explosive acid, and when
they try to run away, we'll electrify
them with millions of volt... and
- In the right Corner: Sonicdude aka
SonicdudeP, writer of the valistor
legacy, selfclaimed evil but merciful
omnipotent Ruler of the
neighbhorhood Sexyville -
- In the left: Uranium Apocalypso,
descendant of Founder BoomBoom
Apocalypso of Ephemeraltoast's
Apocalypse-a-Go-Go, famous evil
Alien-Romancier and sinister
prophet/maximo Leader/Ruler of the
Potty God Cult, Co-Leader of the
vampire army 'evil' in Far away from
Eden etc. -
"... so, what do you say?"
" Sonicdude! "
" ... or Sonicdude, whatever... I don't
know, how you tracked down my
location here... or why you think,
you'd need a contract written in
someone's blood to join..."
" Should I kill another servant to
"...BUUUT, I like your style... you're
evil, you have interesting ideas..."
" Thanks, partner... now let's hurry,
I've got a cunning plan to..."
" Moooment...before I decide to keep
you as my... underling... you first have
to pass a test!"
" a... test?"
" To prove, you're worth to waste
some of my precious time on you..."
" UUuraaaniuuuumm.... the sheets are
"NOT NOW, COUNT....
*mutter*lascivious old idiot..."
"... well, okay, what kind of test?
Should I build an atomic bomb and
drop it on Simcity? Create a new,
skin-melting disease? Kill a...?"
" No, much easier... *ahem* In order to
prove your worth and to make sure,
that you'll really be a loyal servant in
"... You have to undergo a difficult
mission... difficult and perhaps
"... perhaps even deadly..."
"... like it, like it, like it..."
"... clean the castle!"
" Don't think, that's easy - I guess,
nobody has cleaned up here for
centuries... and I'm a Sim with ten neat
points, I can't work under such
conditions - seriously Count, have you
never thought of hiring a maid for this
" Uhmmm... well, I always wanted to
hire a maid, but they never agreed
working at night... and what's the sense
in it, hiring a french maid if you can't
watch her at work... *drool*..."
" Oh for... anyway, Hedgehog, that's the
deal: you clean up or leave, end of
" But that's..."
" END OF DISCUSSION !"
"... okay, okay, I'll do it... let me just fetch
my supercool Flame thrower Vacuum
Cleaner with integrated acid pod, then I
you'll clean the castle with your tongue!!"
" Good, then you can start now... I expect
you to begin with the toil...*ehem*, I
mean the holy shrines of the potty god...
and don't disturb me, I and the Count
have something to discuss... in the
"... I'll so kill this guy... and then I'll
rez him just to kill him again... and
then I'll torture him and kill him a
third time... and then I'll let molest his
corps by... and what does this ugly
Alien think, ordering me around
cleaning stupid toilets, like I'm..."
.... MORTAL SCUM, HOW DARE
YOU TO ANGER THE POTTY GOD
CALLING HIM A.... I'M
" EEEEEEEEEEEEKS,... I'll be good..."
Comment from the author: Uranium
is evil - what else did you expect? End
of discussion ;)
Location: Sexyville, Sonicdude's Valistor
" ZOMG; DAD; LOOKIT THAT! U R
TRAPPED IN UR LEGAACY!!!!!"
" .... hm? Oh, yes, pumkin, that's in
" ZOMG; DAD; U R MENY DADDIES!"
"... yes, I'm hallucinating there..."
" ZOMG; DAD; DADDIES GOO!!"
"... please take your medicine, sweetie..."
" ZOMG; DAD; I TOTTALLY FORGIT
MY MED:.. *glup, glup, glup*...Aaaah..."
".... mmm... think so... but seriously, Dad,
how did you actually get out of there?
"...can't remember, now please let me
" Daddy... one of the hallucinations said,
they wanted to raid other legacies...are
you... are you a hallucination, Dad?"
~ to be (possibly) continued :) ~
new Location (yes, we're getting around a
lot today...): somewhere deep in the...
" LET ME OUT! I SWEAR I'LL KILL
YOU ! "
" In that case, I don't think, it would
be a good idea to let you out, right? "
" FOR THE LAST TIME: LET ME
" DON'T GIVE ME THIS CRAP! DO
YOU EVEN KNOW WHO YOU'VE
CAPTURED?! WE'RE DIRECTLY
PROTECTED BY THE FAMILY, IF
THEY FIND OUT WHAT YOU'VE
" I'm sorry, madame, but I don't think
that your connection with the local
syndicate will help you anymore...
and the lesser members are too
occupied with the local vampires, so
they actually don't know, that 'I' am in
" ... if Joe finds out, what you're doing,
" Oh, you mean Mr. - how do you call
him - 'the Comb' ? Well, I don't think,
that good old 'Afraid-of-animals" -
Joey 'the Comb' will be able to
"...or would you, Joey?"
" ... No I don't think so... oh, do you
mind, if I'd gift you to my son's
school? They'll lack a skeleton in
biology I've heard..."
" Aaah,thank you, now Ladies, Joey, if
you excuse, I have to do some calls..."
" ... Yes, it's me... I've done everything
as you wished, though I don't know,
what you want with these old b...
oh...hm... aha... ehm... well...I
see....okay, I'm on it, byebye, shall I
greet... no? well, thought so..."
Location: Legacy lot (finally...):
"Hey there, remember me? It's Heiress
Liz from the last installment! Yes,
your pretty fashion-crazy, material
Green Girl! Last time you just saw
how I grew up, soooo... what do you
think I look now? A tip: look at the
picture... hehe, got you!
... not really funny, right? *sigh* guess,
not everything can be taken away
with a laugh... yes, guys, lots of
problems over here..."
... though everything looked so bright in
the beginning: I grew up, and boy, it
wasn't the worst fashion combination,
everything blue, like Mom... *snicker* I'm
rather a blue than a green girl...
... and being free of all my childish townie
love adventures, it was time to advance
my relationship with that man I was
destined to... reproduce all my life...
Oh, Benjamin, I'm so sorry, what
happened to you... when I first approached
him, his mental capacity had nearly
decreased to this number... well I thought
at that time, everything would be good
now, that I'm finally....well, I'm just old
but sadly...this wasn't the case... he just
kept repeating this stupid number over
and over.... hellooo, Earthcontrol Liz at
... but of course I was never the girl that
would give up so easy... in the next weeks,
I tried everything: changing my turn-ons
... finally I even got engaged with him...
like my Mom did it with my Dad... hey,
Daddy, I'm getting engaged here
" Fine, fine, Liz... we're all so happy
for you... but now please let me work,
the syndicates orders in the last
months became somehow a bit...
strange... I don't understand, why
they won't let me and Alex do the
work the usual way anymore..."
"Dad, you're permaplat, why do you
even want to do such dirty work any
" I'm a Criminal Mastermind, Liz, my
task is it to maximize the profit of the
family by minimizing the losses,
including any losses of life... and that
is the problem, the family became
somehow... ruthless... "
... oh yes, I wasn't the only one with
problems, as you've heard... though Dad's
problem was completely different from
mine... how could I get through to
someone, who not even realizes that his
innermost wish, described by a stupid
cipher, has already become true...?
Oh, my poor Benjamin... yes, I've just
realized now, how precious he had become
to me... I didn't care anymore about his...
all I wanted now was to make him sane
again... Ben... the window is... over
... as you perhaps know, I've inheritated my
moms... critical viewpoint toward any
religion... if you want, you can call me an
opportunist, but in a storm, you cling to
every straw or so... and after all, I'd always
enjoyed the metaphysical debates with the
grilled cheese deity...
"... and that's what he said? 'No gypsies' ?
" Yes, and then it was just as always... "
"... I would interpret this a sign of 'my'
godly action.... you know, some kind of
".... and I just need to join your church to
" Come on, Liz, give me a break, even a
deity has to make a living..."
"... so any other suggestions?"
"...*sigh* okay... ever heard of 'true
"... our handicap, that only Triple-Bolt-
Sims can procreate? But I have three
Bolts with Ben and..."
" Has he three Bolts with you? You
know, sometimes it's different..."
"...I've never thought of that..."
" See, and that's where the prophecy
fits...no gypsies to see, no love potion, no
potion, no triple Bolts on both sides..."
"... You're right, I haven't seen one of
them for weeks...they somehow
"... Yes it's a shame... how can there be
triplebolts-loves without them... ?"
"...I know, I'll regret this, but... any
smart ideas from the 'Word of Don'
for such a case? "
" Well...how about: 'Love your
neighbor as you love grilled cheese' ?"
" Liz, it's really totally easy: once you
believe in the cheese, I mean me, you
will also love the cheese...and everone
who shares this love can be loved by
you as well..."
" ... in short words: triple bolt?..."
" Exactly! I'm sorry Liz, but that's all I
can do, the last step you have to do on
your own... either join my case... or
and there we were, back at square one...
now there was only one question left, and
unfortunately I already knew the
"... Mom, can I join the church of the
Grilled Cheese Deity?"
as I said, totally predictable:
" Short answer: No! Long Answer: Hell,
NO! I haven't raised you just so you can
become one of these idiots claiming to
know the ultimate truth just by eating a
" Grilled Cheese, Mom, and what I
always wanted to ask: why are you
against religion? After all, you 'knew'
that all that stuff, Eden & Co., really
" Yes, and I *know* that I have feets,
arms and eyes, but I don't *believe* in
them, pray to them or do other stupid
things to them... if bad things happen to
you, you shouldn't believe in anything
else than yourself, because you're the
only one who can influence your fate,
directly or indirectly..."
"Okay, Metaphysics aside, what should I
do, Mom: die old and alone or break
your heart and join the church?"
"...hrrr...If you really need something to
meddle with your mind, rather find a
ReNuYu-Porta-Chug... I bet, they do this
with their followers in their oh-so-
wonderful church of Grilled Cheese the
" ReNu... what?"
" ReNuYu-Porta-Chug... You see, you're
just sticking your head in, when you're in
bad mood, than your mind goes
'Woooooo' - and after that all you think,
love and eat is grilled Cheese..."
" Mom, how do you know..."
" Creator got me one in college... one of
his lame jokes, what he'll do if I ever feel
the need for...grrgh, this guys makes
" I assume,you don't have this thing
" Of course not, I'm actually glad I got rid
" So it's a dead end anyway..."
" Not totally... I remember this guy...
Nicolai Wood... he claimed himself to be
a mad scientist... well, and he just
couldn't get his hand off of that thing, go
figure... Unfortunately, I don't know,
where he is now...Haven't spoken with
him in years..."
" Nicolai Wood, that's a rather thin
" But still better than joining this... tell
you what, search for him and the
ReNuYu, and if you don't find him...
heck, then you can join this damn thing,
Comment: guess, who the next spouse
will be... ;)
... and so I was left with two choices:
either just join the church - rather easy -
or to go on a long adventurous journey
trying to find a man, who probably wasn't
even alive anymore - not to forget, that I
didn't know, if he had secured the
knowledge of the Ryune... Runeya...
uneryi... that stupid changer thingy, I
mean! Of course, I did the only thing, that
was right under such circumstances...
...Tada, may I present: Liz Eden, - 'Vamp'
Raider' - !
" *Snort*, that's so stupid, that I think,
my head falls off...!"
" Antoine, shut your mouth! Your
bigger Sister has work to do! "
" Oooh, of course, a 'Vamp' has always
something to do..."
" You're disgusting, Little Bro' !
"... and I bet, you're breaking a dozen
copyright laws with that Outfit! Let
me guess: if this would've been a
'normal' zombie apocalypse, you'd
call yourself 'Zomb Raider'..."
"... *sigh* a good advice a friend gave
me: grow up, Kid!"
...luckily, the newspaper offered me just
the right job: the embassy, possibly the
last functioning piece of administration
for this neighborhood - since it wasn't
part of the neighborhood - searched for
someone eager enough to build a
connection between the vampire-infested
country and the rest of the world, in order
to search for survivors and contact their
relatives... exactly, what I needed to find
... and of to work we go, :lol: - hey, the
adventure track seems to have a lot of
interesting clothes... can't wait for the
new fashion... yes, I'm still me..."
...though it seemed, that my motivation to
heal Benjamin had multplied my
strength... usually I gained one promotion
per workday, sometimes even two - and
one day, Alex, I and Dad even drove
together to work... by the way: Alex is still
looking for creator, but except the Alien
Uranium, there weren't anymore clues
about Creators whereabouts, Dad on the
other side had still problems with the
syndicate... so everyone of us had to wear
his own burden...
... ehrr, well this one is not sooo good...
how does Stringpuller live with such a
thing on his head... I'm already getting
headaches in it... well think about the
promotion, and it will be okay...
... finally, my brother Antoine had taken
my advice... in case you search for his
former girlfriend Sophie, she broke up
with him... serves him right... then his
new girlfriend was this blonde chick...well
not anymore...she totally went for guys in
underwear, that's why he... brrr....
... and this is a picture of myself in my
tropic suit - in an ice-aged-
neighborhood...well, I currently follow a
lead, that Mr. Wood did some digging,
though he claimed, he never found
anything... perhaps he tried to hide
...while still digging, I nearly missed
Rafi's Transition... yes, he was getting
gray...still he refused to slow down at all,
running to work everyday...though, his
situation somehow bothered me...
... and I finally realized, why: old and
alone - the thing I most feared, was what
could happen to him as well... I guess,
that's why I thought that a companion for
him would be a good idea... and I found
.... Maja was a stray cat, I found during
one of my diggings... she seemed to be
really hungry, so I took her with me... we
still had not enough food, but my family
didn't need any food for years, and Rafi
never ate more than half a bowl per
day...and perhaps he would like her...
... the biggest surprise was, when I
cleaned her back at home was that, while
she seemed gray, it was in fact dirt, which
after removing it, opened up to light
... but it wasn't the only thing I thought
wrong: Rafi wasn't pleased at all about
our new household member... I don't
know, did he fear, that he was about to be
replaced by a younger cat, or was it just a
fight over the pet bowl...?
whatever it was, I took some of his energy,
it seemed... one day he didn't return home
in his usual Black Limousine... though the
sports car was still nice... but it seemed,
that also in Show Biz younger cats had
made their move, running him out in the
.... but just when I thought, that I did all
wrong, somehow a bond between Rafi and
Maja began to grow... from now on, she
always let him eat first, waiting for him to
be satified, than she took the rest... yes, she
appeared to be a really protective
character in that days...
…and it gave Rafi the boost he needed...
he made a glorious comeback on the stage,
making clear, that he was an eternal, ever-
rising Star in the Animal Showbiz...
... and - well - we all know, that every star
has his own, personal fan club... it seems,
Maja was one of the members...*lol*
... but that wasn't the only thing, Maja
surprised us with... one day, after she
returned (cats have their own head, and if
they decide to wander around, who is
there to stop them) from a walk, she
surprised us with a message in her fangs,
that she now worked as a vermin catcher
for the government - the remaining
goverment I mean. How she accomplished,
we'd never found out, but at least it saved
us some trouble feeding two cats with
such immense hunger... especially Maja
grew rounder and rounder from day to
day, it seemed...
... well, in the meantime I just made my
way through the ranks, always on the
search for Mr. Wood... sometimes I think,
I got promoted just on the way to work
and back... like I walk on the drive way as
... and finally return home as a space
pirate (but I still like the international spy
outfit more ;)!
...but sadly, no sign of Mr. Wood...though
I solved the mystery of the non working
career rewards by getting the Stone of
Unga-Nunga or however it was called
back from the thieves, who had stolen it,
when the ice age had hit the neighborhood
(Ep. 4) - Dad said, it were crooks from
outside the syndicate -... and no sign of
the aspiration changer, either...
... but then Dad received an anonymous
call (tuesday evening, of course), telling
him, that 'I' should come to a small house
at the edges of the neighborhood at once, if
I wanted to know something about Mr.
Wood and the aspiration changer...
Well, Dad wouldn't have been a Criminal
Mastermind, if he hadn't smelled the trap
immediately... then again he was aware of
the fact, how frantically I was searching
for any hint that could help me. So he
decided, since I was still at work, to
investigate the situation together with my
brother Alex, while my coward of a
"Hey, that's unfair! You already said,
that it was a trap, and Dad and Alex
have already fulfilled their duty lifting
a restriction, while I..."
"That's a lame excuse, Lil'Bro.."
" Oh yeah? What about Mom? She has
already 'fulfilled' hers as well!"
"Yes, but she still has Business perks
to transfer, while you..."
"I'm tired of fighting, just let me tell
the story and go back to your stupid
... when Dad and Alex left our home, a
dark Limousine was waiting for them... as
they later told me, the driver seemed a
bit... absent, as he didn't question at any
time, why instead of me Dad and Alex
went for the meeting... after a long drive,
they finally arrived at a small, really
strange looking house...
"You know Dad, I rather expected
something more... how should I put
it... impressive looking..."
"Son, you know the loading time of
the game, and with all the new CC... I
guess, this time we're going for a
cheaper and smaller location..."
... where they, after many stairs, finally
arrived in a dark room...
" Yes, Son?"
" Who was that actually on the phone,
saying that he knew something over
" I don't know, Son... he tried to falsify
his voice... you know, he spoke like as
he had no nose and..."
- DUN !
" Hmmm... it seems, that my message
hasn't reached Mrs. Eden correctly... I
said, 'she' should come here, not you
two... that complicates the situation
quite a bit..."
For everyone, who doesn't know
him(Shame on you!): meet Plutonium
Apocalypso, son of Uranium
Apocalypso and Mr. Big aka Joe
Curtain at EphemeralToasts
Apocalypse a-Go-Go, just recently
seen again in Ephemeraltoasts
Ugothlacy, Vol.8. He's currently
married to a zombie and carried their
both child due to a miracle by the
potty god itself... really!
by the way, his original Custom hair
somehow didn't work... and he
somehow looks good with that hat...
" AHAHAHAHAHAHAH... so hehe
reheheally hahad noho
" Dad *snort*... you shouldn't laugh
about that *snicker*,... remember what
happened to Benjamin...*giggle*"
" OKAY, YOU WANT FUN, YOU
DAMN COMEDIANS?! WELL, I'LL
GIVE YOU FUN!"
" I told you, Dad, it's not nice laughing
about other people, even with only
three nice points..."
" HEY, who do think you are, yelling
and shoving people around?!"
" I'm the one, who'll stretch your
underpants over your head, if you
don't immediately pay some respect
to a Sim Celebrity - haven't you read
the disclaimer five pictures before?!!"
" Oh, excuse me, if I just can't pay
respect to an ugly half alien, married
to a corpse and procreated by the guy
that tried to get into *my* pants in
" *Ahem*, sorry if I have to interrupt
your nice little Chit-Chat, but... we're
still here looking for informations
about a Mr. Wood... and since you're
supposed to be related to Ms.
Uranium, perhaps about Creator's
missing as well...?"
" ..well, sorry to displease you,
gentlemen, but I don't know where
this Mr. Woods or your Oh-so-
precious creator are... actually, I was
only ordered to trap the gypsies to
stop any further...breeding of your
family and, regarding your handicap,
blackmail you with it...had to kill the
syndicate in the process...perhaps, if
you'd ask my Mom, she could...HEY,
why should I tell you anything..?!...
Damn, my evil-villainy Monologue..."
" So... we made it where for nothing,
fantastic... let's go, Son..."
" Oh, Oh, I'm sorry, mes amis, but I
can't let you do that..."
" Pfft... you and which army?"
" Actually... this army! *Thanks,mom*
"WOOOOAAAH... hey, how did these
guys get here all of a sudden?"
" HAHA, Nothing goes about a good
boolpropping... NOW, MY MINIONS,
" NOT SO FAST... CELEBRITIES
" AAGH, RAP...*MPHHH*...
ATTACK, MINIONS, ATTACK!!"
" BOO... Use the right hook, the
" Oh GOD, the violence, the
" Come on, Dad, you can get him, I
" Ten bucks on the noseless freak..."
yes, it was a titanic battle my Dad and
Plutonium fought...but since I'm the
heroine here, who has to make the final
attempt to the rescue and stuff, Dad
" Urrrgh... damn stupid, useless
... and soon Alex and Dad found themself
captured by the sinister Half Alien son of
the evil Uranium...
" I don't know, what stinks more, the
fact that I've lost, the fact that this cell
is actually a former bathroom or the
fact that I still don't understand,
what's this whole sidestory is actually
"Hello... Oh, Hi Mom, I... well...
yes...no.... yes....no, I didn't... come on,
how should I know, when she is at...
no I... hmm... but...well... Mom, I...
okay, okay, I've understood, don't
worry, Mom, this time everything will
work great!...Yes...no... NO... but....
Yes... Sorry, Mom, I've got to make the
call now, BYEBYE!"
... and so I received a phonecall after work
as well, telling me to come to the same
location -alone -, if I wanted to see my
Dad and my brother alive (!) again.... by a
really sexy voice, I have to say...
" Ohoh, NOW it gets interesting,
" Bro, for the last time: stop doing
your stupid of-stage monologues!"
"Pfft... who is the one, who talks here
about telephone s...?"
" OKAY, THAT'S IT! COME HERE,
AND I'LL KICK YOUR SHINY
METAL...Rrrgh, 12345678910... you're
not worth wasting my time with you,
...as soon as I've heard, what happened to
Dad and Alex, I informed Mom about the
situation... she took it rather...,well...:
"... and they say, if I don't come
unarmed and alone, his vampires will
kill them immediately!"
"Mmmhmm...so, when you'll be
exactly back with them?"
"...Mom, no jokes please, this is
" I wasn't joking at all..."
" Mom, don't you see it? That's a trap
for sure, and I don't know, how I
" 'Liz, who is the one dressed like an
action heroine here...?"
" What do you mean, Mom...?"
" I mean: go there, draw your guns,
show them who's Boss, get them free,
and then just come back. What's so
difficult about that...?"
" Mom, that's the stupidest thing I've
ever heard from you..."
" 'Liz, I was a Superhero in my former
life*, and if I've learned something
from it, then it's how to make a good
" Mom, perhaps that works in comics,
but this is real life... sorta... and
villains don't go for the big guy first,
they rather threaten innocents to
make the 'heroes' surrender..."
*For a short glimpse of Anais former
Life, watch episode 0... :)
" Hmm, okay... so you rather go for
plan B then..."
" Mom, I told you, no..."
" This wasn't meant as a joke either...
serious Liz, do you think, your Mom's
stupid? In fact, I'm really proud of
you... most people would take Option
A without hesitation... and with your
choice of clothes I thought..."
" MOM, you... okay, what's Option B
...I have to say, that Mom's Option B
didn't really... but after all, what other
choices did I have left...?
" Hello, It's me, I... you know? But
how... oh, understand, now... *sigh*,
can we discuss that later, please, I
really need...Oh, thank you! Bye!"
... and after this short interlude, which I
don't want to spoil, I soon arrived at the
secret Hideout, heavily guarded by
Vampires... Little did I know, what would
happen here, but believe me, it changed
my life forever...
" Aaah, Miss Eden, I presume... I'm
glad you'd made it here... welcome at
my little residence and..."
" Gnnng... I rather want to get through
with that fast... where's my brother
and Dad?! *oh no, this can be true, I
" Ah, a woman who knows what's
important... follow me, Mrs. Eden, I'll
lead you directly to them..."
" Dad, Alex? You're okay?"
" Liz, I hope, you have a really good
explanation, why you're doing this... I
thought you could easily figure out,
that this was a trap for you and..."
"...and let you die here?! Thanks Dad,
that soo brightens my mood..."
"Well... guess that means, we're all
three trapped now... and that means,
the guy controlling the heiress,
controls the neighborhood..."
" Ah, Mr. Eden, I see, you're really a
criminal mastermind... that's exactly
the way it should be... now, Mrs.
Eden, would you please...?"
" Don't you think, you should search
me for weapons first...?"
"... I beg your pardon?"
" Well, of course I came without my
weapons belt, buuut... perhaps there
are weapons somewhere under these
clothes... don't you think, this requires
" ... Miss Eden, I don't think..."
" Awww, come on, you're in full
control of the situation, while I'm
weaponless and fearing for my
families life... "
"... I know where this is going, and I
won't fall for it...first: I'm a married
man, and second... well, I know about
"...Oh, I'm engaged as well, and my
future husband's has a nose enough
for two people... besides, I never had
to complain over a shortage of
" Hmmm... well, why not... me and
Vanessa didn't do it for... and what
Vanessa doesn't know, won't kill
her...if she wasn't already dead, I
"Ooohh... I like it, when you're talking
dirty, Dark knight..."
" Ooooh no, my daughter is... I can't
" *Whisper*Don't worry Dad, I think
she has a plan... I think..."
" Grrmbl... hopefully dawn is coming
soon... they don't pay me enough for
this army thing, to let me actually
Comment: yes it's true, Plutonium
and Amaryllis had a Triple-Bolt-
Combination right at their first
meeting (!)... talk about coincidence...
"... so give me a kiss, you little..."
" Wow, this must be, how Brad Pitt
... to quote Mom: 'Option B is: if you
cannot beat your enemies yourself, search
for allies...' .... well, I guess, Mom didn't
thought about that kind of Ally... but hey,
sometimes it's good to have an
omniscient, all-powerful being as your
friend, that shines like a 1000-Volt-
... and the rest was rather easy:
Plutoniums Minions fleed in total
... while I used the element of surprise to
beat the hell out of...
" Damn, if he just wasn't married... I
mean, because being married trains
you to take more pain...*whistle*"
...Yay, victory!.... hmmm, you know, he
looks really cute, when he's so
unconscious and... awww...
"Ummm, Sis, a bit help over here?
We're still trapped and, Dad's still
groggy from this Light Attack..."
" Oops, sorry... wait, I'll have you free
in no sec..."
" Sis, I have to admit, I'm impressed...
how you solved that situation and
" Thanks, Bro... ehrm, do you think, I
hit him a bit too hard after all... ?"
" Eheheheheh... nevermind... just get
out of here..."
"... and thanks again for your help,
Sushi... and good Luck for the future,
we'll always be there for you..."
" Thanks Liz... and about the church
" Oooh, GCD... you're really unique...
don't tell me you just did that to
" Well, why not, some people collect
postals, I collect followers..."
" Haha, 'kay, I'll reconsider it... just
now, Dad needs a lift home..."
... and with that , we drove of in the new
day...luckily we made it back, before Dad
got sunburned too much... perhaps we
didn't find out something about the
Location of Mr. Woods - or creators
whereabouts, for that matter - but we've
all learned one important lesson: if we
stick together, we're unstoppable and...
" BOOO! This was the lamest story
I've ever heard... aside from your
fashionista stuff last chapter..."
" Antoine, you damn, annoying..."
"Besides, I think, you forgot a tiny,
" What did I forget, please? Dad and
Alex are back, we're all alive and
happy and... Oh, Oooops..."
"...Hello, anybody out there?... Please,
we'll even promise to set up everyone
for triple-bolts dates from now on...
... well... ehehehe... seems like I really
forgot something... Don't worry,
everything is going to get fine, 'kay? I'll
tell you next time, for now, we're almost
out of pics... thanks for watching and
reading... oh, and if you meet Plutonium
somewhere, tell him, I'm sorry about...
well, Bye and... have an Ice day !!!