The best web language: LOLCODE!!!

The best web language.
language
Which is the best programming language for you?

Perl?
PHP?
OR
Python? Ruby?
ASP?

The one true answer is:

LOL Code!!1one

LOLCode is an esoteric language by geeks with too much free time.
There are multiple lolcode interperters, parsers, and even compilers.

“Laser Cats”

I wrote the first working lolcode parser
And the first lolcode powered website.
I am one of those geeks.
“LOLCode By O'RLY”

Basic Usage

CODE SNIPPET
!BEWARE!

HAI <- Opening tag

MUST HAS STDIO <- Require File

VISIBLE quot;HAI WORLD!quot; <- Print

KTHXBYE <- Closing Tag

Variables
CODE SNIPPET
!BEWARE!

I HAS COLOR1 <- Initiate Variable

I HAS COLOR2 IZ GREEN
^- Initiate and Set Var
COLOR1 IZ RED
^Set existing var

More Variables
CODE SNIPPET
!BEWARE!

VISIBLE “COLOR IS &COLOR1&”
^- Print with Var replacement.
IVAR IZ 1 < Set var to 1.
IVAR UPUP!< Increment twice.
IVAR UPUP!
< IVAR is 3.

BTW THIS IS A COMMENT
^- Use BTW to comment line.

Control Structures
CODE SNIPPET
!BEWARE!

IZ &IVAR& == 1 < IF.
BTW IF
VISIBLE quot;YEAH RLYquot;
VISIBLE __SKY__ <-Print Constant
NOWAI
BTW ELSE <- ELSE
VISIBLE quot;NOWAIquot;
KTHX

IF Control Structure
CODE SNIPPET
!BEWARE!
IZ &IVAR& == 1 < IF.
BTW IF
VISIBLE quot;YA RLYquot;

ORLY &IVAR& == 2
< ELSEIF
VISIBLE quot;ORLYquot;

ORLY &IVAR& == 2
< ELSEIF
VISIBLE quot;ORLY RLYquot;

NOWAI
<- ELSE
VISIBLE quot;NOWAIquot;
KTHX

Arrays
CODE SNIPPET
!BEWARE!
ARRAY IZ BUCKET
< Create Bucket
^Variable Name

0 FISH quot;zeroquot; !! < Numerical

1 FISH quot;onequot; !! < Keys

< String Keys
two FISH quot;twoquot; !!

BUCKET

<- Prints “two”
VISIBLE &ARRAY#two&

Multidemensional Arrays
CODE SNIPPET
!BEWARE!
ARRAY IZ BUCKET
< Create Bucket
^Variable Name

0 FISH quot;zeroquot; !!

three FISH IZ BAG <- Use bag or buckets
!! FISH quot;threequot; !!
!! FISH quot;twoquot; !!
^New Dimension
BAG

BUCKET

<- Prints “two”
VISIBLE &ARRAY#two,1&

BAG Arrays
CODE SNIPPET
!BEWARE!
ARRAY IZ BUCKET
< Create Bucket
^Variable Name


three FISH IZ BAG <Create BAG
!! FISH quot;threequot; !!
!! FISH quot;twoquot; !!
BAG ^BAG uses auto
incremented keys.
BUCKET

<- Prints “two”
VISIBLE &ARRAY#two,1&

Looping
CODE SNIPPET
ARRAY IZ BUCKET !BEWARE!
< Create Bucket
1 FISH quot;1quot; !!
2 FISH quot;2quot; !!
BUCKET

<- Foreach
IM IN UR ARRAY ITZA NUMBA

VISIBLE quot;&NUMBA&!quot;
^Prints “zero!1!2!”
KTHX

Functions
CODE SNIPPET
!BEWARE!

SO IM LIKE UPPING WITH VAR VAR2=0
^Var Name ^Arguments ^Default
Value
VAR UPUP!
<- Increment VAR
I FOUND MAH VAR<- Return VAR

KTHX <End Function

VISIBLE quot;FOUR UP? ITZA quot;.UPPING(4)
^Prints “5”

Advanced Features
CODE SNIPPET
!BEWARE!
THEVAR IZ GOLD

VARNAME IZ THEVAR

VISIBLE &&VARNAME&& <-Prints “GOLD”
^- Variable Variable

ALWAYZ SKY IZ BLUE <- Set Constant

VISIBLE __SKY__ <- Print Constant

Embed in HTML
CODE SNIPPET
<html> !BEWARE!
<head>
<title>LOL Power</title>
<- HTML
</head>
<body> Subset of XML

HAI
MUST HAS STDIO
VISIBLE quot;nquot;
VISIBLE quot;HAI WORLD!quot;
KTHXBYE
^ Code in tags is parsed.
</body>
</html>

SQLite Databases
CODE SNIPPET
!BEWARE!
CAN HAS SQL? <- Include SQL Lib
DBASE IZ GETDB('lolz')<-Select DB File
FUNNAHS IZ DBUCKET(
^Get Array from DB
&DBASE&,

quot;CAN I PLZ GET joke ALL UP IN funnahsquot;
)
^LOL-SQL.
“Select joke from funnahs”

SQLite Databases, Part Deux
CODE SNIPPET
!BEWARE!
CAN HAS SQL? <- Get Array from DB
DBASE IZ GETDB('lolz')
FUNNAHS IZ DBUCKET(&DBASE&,quot;CAN I PLZ
GET joke ALL UP IN funnahsquot;)

< Loop It
IM IN UR FUNNAHS ITZA JOKE

VISIBLE quot;<P>quot;.&JOKE#joke&.quot;</P>quot;

^Print each joke
KTHX
(dbucket returns assoc array)

Tetra LOLCode Parser

How to make a new lang work?

With little to no work?
Convert it to PHP!
How?
preg_replace!
function lol_core_parse($code)

Takes incoming code and runs through 36 regular expressions

/e is your new best friend.

Tetra LOLCode
Works with apache!
Easiest way to run .lol on apache?
Set .lol to parse as PHP
Use PHP's prepend/append
Output Buffering to catch LOL
Parse src
Write source to temporary file
Include temporary file

More info?

http://www.lolcode.com
Official Website

http://www.tetraboy.com/lolcode/
My LOLCode website, powred by LOLCODE!

irc.freenode.net #lolcode
Community IRC Channel. (I Hope noone still goes there..)

MailChimp LOL Parser
Based on my lolcode parser, download their improved version.

The best web language: LOLCODE!!!

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The best web language: LOLCODE!!!