Managing crucial conversations


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  • For videotaping, videotape all participants (separate tape for each subgroup). For review, each subgroup goes to a separate room, views the tape of each member, and provides feedback.
  • Practice in subgroups in the main room. Give directions about raising hands, and Dennis and Randy circulate during the practice to observe and coach.
  • Managing crucial conversations

    1. 1. ManagingManaging Crucial ConversationsCrucial Conversations ; Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High; Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High
    2. 2. Crucial ConversationsCrucial Conversations ;; Tools for Talking When Stakes Are HighTools for Talking When Stakes Are High When stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong, you have three choices ; 1. Avoid a crucial conversation and suffer the consequences 2. Handle the conversation badly and suffer the consequences or 3. Read "Crucial Conversations and discover how to communicate best when it matters most
    3. 3. Recognizing a Crucial ConversationRecognizing a Crucial Conversation Three key elements of crucial conversation ; - Opinions vary - The stakes are significant - Feelings are strong Influential people are skilled in discussing difficult, controversial, high-stakes topics
    4. 4. The Importance of Talking EarnestlyThe Importance of Talking Earnestly At the heart of mastering crucial conversations is the ability to engage in dialogue. The key to engaging in dialogue in a crucial conversation is building the “shared pool” of ideas by making it safe for others to open up and express themselves.
    5. 5. Know What You Really WantKnow What You Really Want Knowing what you really want and staying focused on it will be the “North Star” to guide you. “Sucker’s Choice” trap ; I have only two bad options – for example, disagree with the boss and suffer the consequences or shut up. A greater choice is usually available through dialogue if you focus on what you want to achieve.
    6. 6. Learning to Recognize Crucial ConversationsLearning to Recognize Crucial Conversations Three key signs of crucial conversation ; 1. physical (stomach tightening up), emotional (feeling scared, hurt, or angry) or behavioral signals (raising your voice or pointing your finger) 2. Unsafe feeling : silence or a sense of incipient violence 3. Own style at growing stress : silence (masking, avoiding or withdrawing) or violence (controlling, labeling or attacking verbally)
    7. 7. Making It SafeMaking It Safe Create a sense of safety when others fall silent or seem to be moving to anger or violence. In these cases, you’d better remove yourself from the conversation, let tensions cool and try to return to a starting point of mutual concerns.
    8. 8. Making It SafeMaking It Safe Different responses to major safety risks ; 1. Mutual purpose – When others think you want harm them and don’t trust your motives, look for a mutual purpose that will motivate the others to be willing to listen to your concerns. 2. Mutual respect – When others sense you are not respecting them, apologize for any action that may have shown disrespect and emphasize that you do respect them.
    9. 9. Stating Your Path andStating Your Path and Exploring the Paths of OthersExploring the Paths of Others With your emotions under control, share your information with confidence, humility and skill. State your path by using the STATE ; - Share the facts you have. - Tell the story you want to present. - Ask others to express their stories or paths. - Talk with tentativeness. - Encourage testing.
    10. 10. Stating Your Path andStating Your Path and Exploring the Paths of OthersExploring the Paths of Others Explore the paths of others by using the AMPP ; - Ask to start the conversational process going. - Mirror back. - Paraphrase. - Prime the pump.
    11. 11. Moving to ActionMoving to Action Methods of decision-making to turn conversation into a good decision and mutually agreed-upon united action ; - Command : Ask someone you believe will make a good decision to decide. - Consult : Ask others for their input to influence you before you decide. - Vote : Take a vote from others on what the decision should be. - Consensus : Talk with others until everyone comes to agree on one choice.
    12. 12. Moving to ActionMoving to Action Note the commitments people have made and hold them responsible for their promises.
    13. 13. Thank you !!Thank you !!