2. Letter Analysis
Dear Mr. Blake:
We are here to submit an interesting business proposal wherein
you will be able to cut the costs of your company by 50 percent.
We have done this for our past customers and would like to spread
this message across our potential clients.
We will review the entire current system that your organization
follows and find out the loopholes. Then will give the remedies that
can change the system and help you. We will help you in cutting
down your printing, stationery costs. We will help you in
transferring all the paperwork in electronic medium. This will save
both paper and money.
The enclosed proposal outlines the things that we will do to help
you in this process. The proposal has detail guidelines of the work
that we do help our clients. We have even enclosed the successful
projects that we have completed in the past for your perusal.
I will give you a call once you gone through this proposal. I hope
we can work together which will be mutually beneficial to both of
us.
Yours sincerely,
3. Discussion Questions:
What is the letter all about?
What is written in paragraph 1?
What does the second paragraph say?
What does the 3rd paragraph say?
What does the last paragraph say?
Is it a direct or indirect letter? Why?
When do we write direct letters?
4. Learning to
Write Directly on
Paper and
Electronically
Roebuck:
Improving
Business
Communication,
4th
edition.
(c)
2006,
Pearson
Education,
Upper
Saddle
River,
NJ
07458.
All
Rights
Reserved.
5. Direct vs. Indirect Writing
Roebuck: Improving Business Communication, 4th edition. (c) 2006, Pearson
Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All Rights Reserved.
Direct Writing Indirect Writing
Eager Displeased
Disappointed
Interested
Uninterested
Pleased
Unwilling
Neutral
When the audience feels:
6. Roebuck: Improving Business Communication, 4th edition. (c) 2006, Pearson Education, Upper
Saddle River, NJ 07458. All Rights Reserved.
Direct
Writing
Good News Documents Written
Directly include short or positive
documents that communicate:
⮚ Acceptance
⮚ Positive answers to reader
requests
⮚ Information about procedures,
products, services, or options
⮚ Announcements of policy
changes that are neutral or
positive
⮚ Changes that are to the reader’s
advantage
7. Effective Direct Writing
❑ Delivers the news or makes a
request.
❑ Includes details or explanations.
❑ Closes positively with the action
step.
Roebuck: Improving Business Communication, 4th edition. (c) 2006,
Pearson Education, Upper Saddle River, NJ 07458. All Rights Reserved.
8. Good news strengthens rapport and maximizes
goodwill.
Neutral messages keep communication
channels open until improvement of
circumstances makes good news possible.
9. Which opening statements communicate the
news in the most positive and direct way?
1. We have received your resume.
2. We have received your completed application form.
3. Thank you for applying with us.
4. We’d like to have you visit our office for an interview.
5. You have a nice resume.
6. You appear to be quite well-qualified.
7. You have a high grade point average.
10. Pair Discussion:
Why are the following
openings Ineffective?
1. Response to a computer repair
request:
We’re sure you’ll like the modern
features of our computers.
2. Response to a request for a copy
of a speech:
I was sorry to hear you missed my
presentation at the conference
due to illness.
11. Ineffective
openings
3. Response to a request for a
speaking engagement:
Speaking techniques should be
understood by everyone,
especially potential managers.
4. Request for repair:
On April 17, I purchased one XLT
Computer at your Peachtree
Street store; on April 18, it stopped
working.
12. Ineffective
openings
5. Request for a copy of a speech
I had looked forward to hearing
your presentation at the annual
conference but became ill at the
last minute.
6. Request for a speaking
engagement:
I was fortunate to be in the
audience at the Toastmaster’s
meeting when you spoke on
Speaking Techniques.
14. Pair work:
Evaluate and explain the effectiveness of the
following openings.
1. Getting more information:
Please answer the following questions regarding
the new guidelines you helped us adopt.
2. Seeking help:
Please meet with us to set up an employee fitness
program similar to the one you introduced last year
at Jones, Inc.
15. More sample openings
3. Making a request:
Please credit my account #76543 for $50, the price
of a carton of computer paper. We recently
received a bill for two cartons; however, we only
received one.
4. Placing an order:
Please send me: 1 ream of 20 lb. bond paper, 12 HP
printer cartridges, and 1 box of 20 folders.
16. More sample openings
5. Asking for credit:
Please consider my credit application for a
loan with your bank.
6. Expressing thanks:
Thank you for your outstanding work. Your hotel
staff did an excellent job, and we admire your
special attention to all details.
17. More sample openings
7. Congratulating others:
Congratulations on your promotion.
8. Telling a decision:
The board of directors decided to accept
your proposal.
9. Making a recommendation:
The committee recommends the purchase of
a new computer.
19. Activity: Transform the following to a more
effective opening.
1. Response to a computer repair request:
We’re sure you’ll like the modern features of our computers.
2. Response to a request for a copy of a speech:
I was sorry to hear you missed my presentation at the conference due
to illness.
3. Request for a copy of a speech
I had looked forward to hearing your presentation at the annual
conference but became ill at the last minute.
4. Request for a speaking engagement:
I was fortunate to be in the audience at the Toastmaster’s meeting when
you spoke on Speaking Techniques.
5. Request for repair:
On April 17, I purchased one XLT Computer at your Peachtree Street
store; on April 18, it stopped working.
24. The 7 Cs of
Communication
•Be clear about your goal or message.
• What is your purpose in communicating with this
person?
•If you’re not sure, then your audience won’t be sure
either.
Clear
•Stick to the point and keep it brief.
• Are there any adjectives or “filler words” that you
can delete?
• You can often eliminate words like “for instance,”
“you see,” “definitely,” “kind of,” “literally,”
“basically,” or “I mean.”
• Are there any unnecessary sentences?
Concise
•When your message is concrete, then your audience
has a clear picture of what you’re telling them.
•There are details (but not too many!) and vivid facts,
and there’s laser-like focus. Your message is solid.
Concrete
•Your communication is logical.
•All points are connected and relevant to the main
topic, and the tone and flow of the text is consistent.
Coherent
Eklof, K. (2020, June 15). The seven
Cs of communication. Edexec.
https://edexec.co.uk/the-seven-
cs-of-communication/.
25. The 7 Cs of
Communication
•Your communication fits your audience. And it is also
error-free communication.
• Do the technical terms you use fit your audience’s
level of education or knowledge?
• Have you checked your writing for grammatical
errors? Remember, spell checkers won’t catch
everything.
• Are all names and titles spelled correctly?
Correct
•In a complete message, the audience has
everything they need to be informed and, if
applicable, take action.
• Does your message include a “call to action,” so
that your audience clearly knows what you want
them to do?
• Have you included all relevant information –
contact names, dates, times, locations, and so on?
Complete
•The communication is friendly, open, and honest.
•There are no hidden insults or passive-aggressive
tones.
•You keep your reader’s viewpoint in mind, and
you’re empathetic to their needs.
Courteous
Eklof, K. (2020, June 15). The seven
Cs of communication. Edexec.
https://edexec.co.uk/the-seven-
cs-of-communication/.
27. Common Examples of Direct/ Positive
Messages
1. What you want to know or what you
want readers to do
2. Why you’re making the request
3. Why it may be in your readers’ interest
to help you (if applicable)
1. Asking for information or requests
28. 2. Replying to a request
1. Get right to the message
2. Acknowledge that responding to the request will
require some work, but the result will benefit
everyone.
3. Explain the benefit of responding to the request.
4. Provide a clear and meaningful deadline, then
close in a courteous manner.
Common Examples of Routine Requests
Common Examples of Direct/ Positive
Messages
29. 3. Asking for Recommendations
- Always ask for permission before using
someone as a reference.
- Download a sample letter for analysis
Common Examples of Routine Requests
Common Examples of Direct/ Positive
Messages
31. Asking for Recommendation Outline
1. Open by stating the purpose of the letter and making the
request, assuming the reader will want to comply with the
request.
2. Include information near the opening to refresh the
reader’s memory about you.
3. Refer to the resume in the body and mention experience
that could set applicant apart from other candidates.
4. Give a deadline for response and include information
about the person expecting the recommendation
5. Mention the pre-addressed, stamped envelope to
encourage a timely response.
6. Close the letter by expressing thanks for the time and effort
that will be spent in writing the recommendation letter.
32. 4. Making Claims and Requesting Adjustments
In a claim letter;
1. Explain the problem and give details
2. Provide backup information
3. Request specific action
Common Examples of Routine Requests
Common Examples of Direct/ Positive
Messages
33. 5. Providing Recommendations and References
A successful recommendation letter contains a number of
relevant details.
⮚ The candidate’s full name
⮚ The position or other objective the candidate is seeking
⮚ The nature of your relationship with the candidate
⮚ Facts and evidence relevant to the candidate and the
opportunity
⮚ A comparison of this candidate’s potential with that of peers,
if available (for example, ‘Ms. Jonasson consistently ranked in
the top 10 percent of our national sales force’.)
⮚ Your overall evaluation of the candidate’s suitability for the
opportunity
Common Examples of Direct/ Positive
Messages
35. Sample Recommendation Letter
Par. 1:
Clearly state the candidate’s full name and the main point of the
letter in the opening
Par. 2:
Specify duration and nature of relationship in the body to give
weight to the evaluation.
Par. 3:
Begin the close by summarizing the supportive evaluation
Par. 4:
Close by inviting reader to discuss the candidate further.
36. 5. Announcing Good news
⮚ Opening new facilities
⮚ Hiring new executives
⮚ Introducing new products or services
⮚ Sponsoring community events
Common Examples of Direct/ Positive
Messages
37. 6. Fostering Goodwill
Goodwill is the positive feeling that
encourages people to maintain a business
relationship.
⮚ Sending congratulations
⮚ Sending message of appreciation
⮚ Offering condolences
Common Examples of Direct/ Positive
Messages
39. Closing a direct
communication
⮚ Be positive and show the goodwill of your
company/person.
⮚ Write something that will leave the door open for
future communication and partnership.
⮚ Writing something that will give your
audience/receiver a good feeling or thought
about you and your company.
40. Sample closings: choose the
more effective.
a. Thank you for allowing me to work
with your bank. Please call me if you
have any questions concerning this or
future seminars.
a. Do not hesitate to call me.
41. Sample closings: choose the
more effective.
a) I look forward to hearing from you.
a) Please review the attached plans. I
will contact you in two days to see if
you have any questions. Thank you for
helping us improve our company
advertisements.
43. Evaluate the sample letter.
What are the mistakes of this
letter?
How will you improve it?
44. Activity: Revise the following short-email
message so that it becomes more direct and
concise; develop a subject line.
I’m contacting you about your recent order for a
High Country Backpack. You didn’t tell us which
backpack you wanted, and you know we make a
lot of different ones. We have the canvas models
with the plastic frames and vinyl trim, and we have
the canvas models with leather trim, and the ones
that have more pockets than the other ones. Plus
they come in lots of different colors. Also they make
the ones that are large for a big-boned person and
the smaller versions for little women or kids.
45. Brief and concise version:
Subject: Backpack Order Clarification
Dear Sarah:
I’m contacting you to clarify which model, color and size of High
Country Backpack you wanted to order. We have the canvas
models with plastic frame, vinyl trim, leather trim, and multi pocket
backpacks. The sizes available are large, for big-boned person
and smaller versions for little women or kids.
Your order will be processed as soon as we receive your reply.
Thank you.
Best regards,
William Smith
47. Discussion Week 3
Task: Direct Letter Writing
Think of a post graduate program or trainings you
would like to enroll. Think about the requirements,
duration, price, or anything else you might like to
know.
Write the company or institution asking those things
you would like to know.
Start the letter with a direct introduction, then
describe in detail, and write a closing.
Post a letter in Discussion Forum. Evaluate your
classmates' letters and help improve the letters
before you send.
Once you get a reply from the company, post a
