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Introduction to Parental Alienation

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Introduction to Parental Alienation

When Parents Break Children’s Loving Bonds
When Children choose the Other Parent
When the ‘Ex-Factor’ interferes

Published in: Education
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Introduction to Parental Alienation

  1. 1. Parental Alienation and Extreme Alignment When Parents Break Children’s Loving Bonds When Children choose the Other Parent When the ‘Ex-Factor’ interferes © D.I.G Pty. Ltd S.Korosi 2011 May only be used with the authors permission Printed for the WCP Conference 2011, NSW, Australia with permission from D.I.G Pty. Ltd August 2011 1
  2. 2. © D.I.G Pty. Ltd S.Korosi 2011 May only be used with the authors permission What is Parental Alienation?  Parental Alienation  A set of processes and behaviours conducted and enacted by a parent to deliberately and knowingly damage or sever the relationship between a child and another parent with whom the child enjoyed a prior loving relationship  Alienating Behaviour and/or Hostile Aggressive Parenting  Various acts and omissions by a parent that damage the relationship between the child and the other parent  Hostile-Aggressive Parenting (HAP) may cause parental alienation.  Alienating Processes  A related set of acts, omissions and behaviours that together act as a system or a process, the outcome of which is a particular alienating outcome or effect upon the child Printed for the WCP Conference 2011, NSW, Australia with permission from D.I.G Pty. Ltd August 2011 2
  3. 3. © D.I.G Pty. Ltd S.Korosi 2011 May only be used with the authors permission 5 Main Parental Alienation Strategies Manipulating the child to reject the target parent Demoting and devaluing the rejected parent’s role in the child’s life Sabotaging time the child spends with the target parent Displaced anger, hurt Printed for the WCP Conference 2011, NSW, Australia with permission from D.I.G Pty. Ltd August 2011 3
  4. 4. © D.I.G Pty. Ltd S.Korosi 2011 May only be used with the authors permission 7 Stages to Alienating a Child Create a Loyalty ConflictStage 3 Force the Child to align strongly with one parent against the other Force The Child to Resolve the Conflict Manipulate the child to turn away from the formerly loved parent Stage 4 Create the Alienating EnvironmentStage 1 Discount the role of the other parent Use isolation, conflict and power Convince the Child to Contrary ‘Truth’Denigrate the target parent Stage 2 Printed for the WCP Conference 2011, NSW, Australia with permission from D.I.G Pty. Ltd August 2011 4
  5. 5. © D.I.G Pty. Ltd S.Korosi 2011 May only be used with the authors permission 7 Stages to Alienating a Child The status quo for Legal, Social and Financial Services Stage 7 Enforce Severance Sever the Previously Loving RelationshipStage 6Make the child unhappy and unwilling to be with the target parent Alienate the ChildStage 5Support the child to engage in irrational, unfounded, exaggerated criticisms of the rejected parent When parents often seek help Printed for the WCP Conference 2011, NSW, Australia with permission from D.I.G Pty. Ltd August 2011 5
  6. 6. © D.I.G Pty. Ltd S.Korosi 2011 May only be used with the authors permission A Child or Children may be Alienated Against a Parent if:  Hatred by association-enmity towards the target parent’s extended family without known reason  No ambivalence  Uses adult concepts beyond age and stage of understanding  Parrots (a ‘mantra’) the favoured alienating parent without regard for their own historical experience with the target parent  The child asserts that their views have been independently formed but are unable to explain or show evidence of how they came to such beliefs  Refuses to spend time with visits or communicate with the rejected parent without rational explanation  Fixed negative beliefs about the rejected parent based upon past events that would not ordinarily be warranted Printed for the WCP Conference 2011, NSW, Australia with permission from D.I.G Pty. Ltd August 2011 6
  7. 7. © D.I.G Pty. Ltd S.Korosi 2011 May only be used with the authors permission Help Alienated Parents-Counter Measures :  Expose the alienating pattern  Be STRATEGICALLY EMPATHETIC and EMPATHETICALLY STRATEGIC!  Timing-wait until children are receptive  Educate them about alienation processes and about the range of countermeasures available to them  Attempt to work constructively and strategically with the alienating parent-“Know your enemy”  Tailor the approach for the type of person  Know when NOT to deal with the alienating parent-obsessive  Take the HIGH ROAD “The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury. “-Marcus Aurelius Printed for the WCP Conference 2011, NSW, Australia with permission from D.I.G Pty. Ltd August 2011 7
  8. 8. References and Resources  Dialogue-In-Growth-Mens Action in Open Thinking W: www.dialogueingrowth.com.au E: info@dialogueingrowth.com.au T: 0414 888 413  SpeakEASY Counselling and Psychotherapy W: www.speakeasycounselling.com.au E: info@dialogueingrowth.com.au T: 0414 888 413  Other support groups & resources  An Example of Parental Alienation AKA Extreme Alignment- http://www.familylawwebguide.com.au/spca/pg/news/ view/614/index.php&wide_print=1&max=1000  Parental Alienation CENTRAL (Australia)- http://bringingpeace2alienatedchildren.blogspot.com/  Poison Parents- http://www.parentalalienationcrisis.org/index.asp?pag eid=64961  Divorce Poison and Parental Alienation- http://www.divorcepoison.com/  Parental Alienation Programme 'Family Bridges' and Blog-http://www.warshak.com/alienation/pluto-dvd- 2.html  Hostile Aggressive Parenting and Parental Alienation- http://www.hostile-aggressive-parenting.com/  Parental Alienation-UK resources-http://www.parental- alienation.info/ © D.I.G Pty. Ltd S.Korosi 2011 May only be used with the authors permission Printed for the WCP Conference 2011, NSW, Australia with permission from D.I.G Pty. Ltd August 2011 8
  9. 9. © D.I.G Pty. Ltd S.Korosi 2011 May only be used with the authors permission References and Resources  Baker, A. J. L. (2007). Adult children of parental alienation syndrome: breaking the ties that bind. New York: W.W Norton & Co.  Gardner, R. (1987). Parental alienation syndrome and the differentiation between fabricated and genuine sexual abuse. New Jersey: Creskill, Creative Therapeutics.  Gardner, R. (1989). Family evaluation in child custody, mediation, arbitration and litigation. New Jersey: Creskill, Creative Therapeutics.  Gardner, R. A. (2004). Commentary on Kelly and Johnston's "The Alienated Child: A reformulation of parental alienation syndrome.". Family Court Review Vol 42(4) Oct 2004, 611-621.  Johnston, J. R., & Kelly, J. B. (2004). Rejoinder to Gardner's "Commentary on Kelly and Johnston's 'The Alienated Child: A reformulation of parental alienation syndrome.'". Family Court Review Vol 42(4) Oct 2004, 622-628.  Kelly, J. B., & Johnston, J. R. (2001). The Alienated Child: a Reformulation of Parental Alienation Syndrome. Family Court Review, 39(3), 249-266.  Lowenstein, L. F. (1998). PARENT ALIENATION SYNDROME: A TWO STEP APPROACH TOWARD A SOLUTION. Contemporary Family Therapy: An International Journal December, 20(4), 505-520.  Lowenstein, L. F. (2007). Parental Alienation: How to understand and address parental alienation resulting from acrimonious divorce or separation. London: Russell House Publishing.  Lund, M. (1995). A Therapist's View of Parental Alienation Syndrome. Family and Conciliation Courts Review, 33(3), 308-316.  McIntosh, J. (2003). Enduring Conflict in Parental Separation: Pathways of Impact on Child Development. Journal of Family Studies, Vol. 9(1), 63-80.  Warshak, D. R. A. (2010). Divorce Poison: How to Protect Youir Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing. New York: Harper Collins. Printed for the WCP Conference 2011, NSW, Australia with permission from D.I.G Pty. Ltd August 2011 9

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