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April fools.ppt


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April fools.ppt

  1. 1. Why you should let me touch your boobs.® Ass, face, and etc. Company Advertising Brochure A subsidiary of LW Corporations®
  2. 2. QualificationsCertified Female Body Inspector (FBI)~8 years (PhD) of experienceYONEX® POWER CUSHION TechnologyYONEX® Enhanced Wrist Power [1]
  3. 3. Qualifications cont I support all breast cup sizes.A Cup B Cup C Cup ….D Cup E Cup F Cup
  4. 4. Pros• 100% cheaper than a therapeutic massage• I might find that you have breast cancer and save your life (doctors are expensive)• They look kind of lonely, bras can’t massage• Releases oxytocin (love hormone) that you will like• My hands are soft as SILK [2]
  5. 5. Cons• You might bug me for more after your trial period• You might not want to leave (3)• You might feel too good• N/A• N/A• N/A• N/A• N/A• I think I forgot to mention you’d want more• I shall remind you that you’d want more• Why do I keep forgetting to tell you you’d want more• Just remember you’d want more
  6. 6. Research Analysis 0 min.– Trial offer beings 2 min.– Spidey senses tingling 4 min.– CENSORED (No data) 6 min.– CENSORED (No data) 8 min.– CENSORED (No data)Your Happiness 10 min.– You have reached the climax of your mountain (Trial offer ends) 10 - 12 min. – Subscribers only >12 min. – You have to leave to avoid addiction (4) Time (mins)
  7. 7. Why consult our services?Highest Rated Customer Rating 100 years in a rowData from“... …Yes…MORE…OH YESS!!!!!” yes-Silvie Li…it speaks for itself
  8. 8. Our Company In the News
  9. 9. RECAPWhy say yes? Why say no?• Free •• High Quality Services •• Highly Qualified Employees •• Who can say no to this deal? • • • It speaks for itself See? I even spent 6 years of my life preparing this 3D graph just for you.
  10. 10. NOTES[1] (Explanation) YONEX is a badminton brand and playingbadminton increases wrist power…[2] “Soft as silk” to an extent.[3] If “you might not want to leave,” you can stay if I don’thave school the following day.[4] Extremely addictive after 12 min. session, 1000 timesmore than nicotine (without the disadvantages ofoverconsumption).