Successfully reported this slideshow.
We use your LinkedIn profile and activity data to personalize ads and to show you more relevant ads. You can change your ad preferences anytime.

The Four Horseman of Toxic Behaviour

61 views

Published on

by Raquel Silva

When a Team member shows a toxic behaviour, how does the Team react to it? Can we educate the team and help them as a System to overcome these challenges? As a Scrum Master or a Coach, our main mission is to help teams to be their better selves. By the end of this workshop, you should be able to help your team to be better prepared to deal with conflict.

Published in: Business
  • Be the first to comment

  • Be the first to like this

The Four Horseman of Toxic Behaviour

  1. 1. The 4 Horsemen of Toxic Behaviour https://couplestherapyinc.com/
  2. 2. About me: Raquel Silva Scrum Master / Agile Coach Twitter - @Raquel_Farinha https://www.linkedin.com/in/raquel-silva/ I'm a happy Coach who loves work with teams and individuals. Have Happy and highly motivated teams is always my goal. Happiness and Motivation are never enough and keeping it always in the higher levels is my goal. So is constant work for me. I love the simple things in life: like a walk in the Park, read and travel. Besides that, her main mission is to contribute every day to make the workplace a more human a place where people enjoy being, trust each other and work better together. Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  3. 3. What is Emotional Intelligence? Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  4. 4. Why Emotional Intelligence matters? Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  5. 5. Waking the Team Toxic Behavior Grid The concept of the four toxins – also called the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse – has been developed by professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington, John Gottman. They are the most common misbehaviours in teams, with a direct negative impact on teamwork and trustful relationship. If used frequently, any of these behaviours becomes highly destructive. Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  6. 6. Toxic Behaviors “The 4 Horsemen” Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  7. 7. Antidotes At the root of each of these not very skilful behaviours, there is a good intention. Team leaders can leverage these positive intentions and resolve conflict with the help of the antidotes for each toxin, and by this foster teamwork and a high performance environment. Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  8. 8. Antidotes - BLAMING • Soft start up - Don’t attack (criticize) the person • Find the reasonable request behind the criticism or complaint • Believe that the criticism is an unskillful attempt to give useful feedback • Identify your contribution to the problem Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  9. 9. Antidotes - DEFENSIVENESS • Repeat what you heard and ask for clarification. • Search for the 2% truth in what you are hearing Activing listening - When team are not hearing each other accurately. “John, what did you hear Mike say?” 2% rule Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  10. 10. Antidotes – STONE WALLING (Feeds other toxins) • If you are flooded, find a way to self-soothe. • Realize that your voice is important and that you may be depriving the team from getting important infomation by not speaking up • Design safety conditions that will allow everyone to speak-up Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  11. 11. Antidotes – CONTEMPT • Address the behavior directly without “You” statements • Use “I feel….I want” statements to replace your own contempt statements • Try asking: “Can you clarify your intention in saying that?” • Give Impact Feedback Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  12. 12. Active Listening Exercises “Genuine, attentive listening has become rare. Active listening skills can help build relationships, solve problems, ensure understanding and avoid conflict. By becoming a better listener, you'll improve your workplace productivity, as well as your ability to lead a team, persuade and negotiate” - Google Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  13. 13. What can I do to help my Teams? Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  14. 14. How to help my teams Education • Educate your team about the Toxic behaviors and their destructiveness • Agree to name the toxin when it occurs Normalization • Acknowledge that toxins are a normal part of relationships and cannot be ignored or eliminated Use antidotes • Learn alternative ways to communicate Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  15. 15. Tools and Definitions Additional slides (Bonus Track) Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  16. 16. Think about your ideal team. Exercise to create Conflict Protocol How would that team handle conflicts and disagreements? What are some behaviours you want to have happen when conflict occurs? What are some things you do not want to happen when conflict occurs? How will you hold one another accountable for these agreements? What will you do if someone breaks an agreement? Conflict Protocol Questions Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  17. 17. COIN Context - Puts the event or behaviour in a time frame or setting so it can be remembered. Where and When did this happen? Observation – describes the action and behaviour that were observed, without evaluation, judgement ( interpretation of intent) Impact – Speaks to the reason for concern. Describes is a neutral way the impact on other people, yourself or the organisation. Next – a request for change. Establish agreements and understdings about what will be different in the future. Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  18. 18. BIG THANK YOU Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney
  19. 19. Books • Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ20 Jul 2009 by Daniel Goleman Other Credits: John Gottman.- Why Marriages Succeed Or Fail. John Gottman. -The Science Of Trust: Emotional Attunement For Couples. CRR Global. Organization and Relationship System Coaching (ORSC). http://crrglobal.com/ Raquel Silva @raquel_farinha October 2018 – Regional Scrum Gathering Sydney

×