Successfully reported this slideshow.
We use your LinkedIn profile and activity data to personalize ads and to show you more relevant ads. You can change your ad preferences anytime.

Difficult conversations

12,804 views

Published on

Published in: Business, Technology
  • Settling for less on valentine's? Then you need VigRX pLUS! ➤➤ https://bit.ly/30G1ZO1
       Reply 
    Are you sure you want to  Yes  No
    Your message goes here
  • How can I improve my memory book? How can I improve my memory recall? visit to learn... https://bit.ly/2GEWG9T
       Reply 
    Are you sure you want to  Yes  No
    Your message goes here
  • Discover How to Cure Acne At Any Age, Even If You�ve Tried Everything And Nothing Has Ever Worked For You Before Click Here ●●● http://ishbv.com/buk028959/pdf
       Reply 
    Are you sure you want to  Yes  No
    Your message goes here
  • If you just broke up with your Ex,you have to follow these steps to get her back or risk ruining your chances. Click here ◆◆◆ http://scamcb.com/exback123/pdf
       Reply 
    Are you sure you want to  Yes  No
    Your message goes here
  • ➤➤ https://tinyurl.com/y4urott2
       Reply 
    Are you sure you want to  Yes  No
    Your message goes here

Difficult conversations

  1. 1. Difficult ConversationsDifficult Conversations: April 2012 1
  2. 2. DomesticsDifficult Conversations: April 2012 2
  3. 3. Objectives • Why we don’t like difficult conversations • No action Vs. Action • 3 steps to handling difficult conversationsDifficult Conversations: April 2012 3
  4. 4. Why we don’t like difficult conversations • Takes time • Emotions (ours and theirs) • Conflict • Protection…Difficult Conversations: April 2012 4
  5. 5. No action Vs. action (1/2)No Action• Problems escalate • More people get involved• Legal complications • Cost of time, money, resourcesDifficult Conversations: April 2012 5
  6. 6. No action Vs. action (2/2)Action• Improved working relationships, reputation• More productive, efficient, collab oration• Feel – fair process, listened to - valued• Develops your skills, increased confidence Difficult Conversations: April 2012 6
  7. 7. 3 Steps to handling difficult conversations Step 1: Gain clarityDifficult Conversations: April 2012 7
  8. 8. Separate feelings from the situation I feel like saying… (negative) I should say… (positive) I’m sick and tired of working 70 hours a I could use more support from my co-workers as I week while you guys are playing golf every am unable to keep up with this challenging other day. workload. I should have been put on that project. That ? person is completely incompetent. You are not doing your work for this project ? on purpose because you dislike me. You think that this project is impossible and ? that it can’t succeed. You just want me to fail. You need to start working harder. You are ? lazy and I am going to have to fire you if you don’t start producing.Difficult Conversations: April 2012 8
  9. 9. Separate feelings from the situation I feel like saying… (negative) I should say… (positive) I’m sick and tired of working 70 hours a I could use more support from my co-workers as I week while you guys are playing golf every am unable to keep up with this challenging other day. workload. I should have been put on that project. That I feel like I could contribute to that project in a person is completely incompetent. meaningful way and would welcome the opportunity to do so. You are not doing your work for this project I need this project to get finished and your on purpose because you dislike me. participation is crucial, can I count on you? You think that this project is impossible and I recognize that I am taking some risks with this that it can’t succeed. You just want me to new project. This is necessary if we want to try fail. something new. I am hoping you can support me with this initiative. You need to start working harder. You are I have noticed your production is not meeting lazy and I am going to have to fire you if you expectations. I need you to improve, your don’t start producing. performance is affecting our overall team goal.Difficult Conversations: April 2012 9
  10. 10. Make your message clear Not clear Clear You didn’t present that topic well. I would have found more detail to be helpful. You need to improve your ? communication skills. You have a poor attitude. ? Your work is not professional. ? You’re not being strategic, and you’re ? missing the mark. Are you crazy? That’s a half baked ? idea if I ever heard one.Difficult Conversations: April 2012 10
  11. 11. Make your message clear Not clear Clear You didn’t present that topic well. I would have found more detail to be helpful. You need to improve your Spend a little more time listening and paraphrasing the communication skills. client’s needs. You have a poor attitude. Try showing a little more enthusiasm towards this project. Your work is not professional. I think if your work was proof read and reviewed more carefully before being presented to your clients, it would be more effective. You’re not being strategic, and you’re I think this project requires a more long term approach. missing the mark. It would be better if your plan included a forecast of the project over time. Are you crazy? That’s a half baked I think this idea requires a little more thought. Have you idea if I ever heard one. considered how this would work at our company?Difficult Conversations: April 2012 11
  12. 12. Step 2 Overrule avoidanceDifficult Conversations: April 2012 12
  13. 13. Step 3 Deliver the messageDifficult Conversations: April 2012 13
  14. 14. Direct or Indirect Vs. Sensitive or Insensitive Sensitive 4. It’s part of my job to point out problems and ensure we’re 3. Is there any chance as effective as possible. Lets there’s something here work together to figure out you’re not seeing? how to do that effectively.Direct Indirect 2. You’re passing the 1. There is a problem with buck, and you have to the way you work. change. InsensitiveDifficult Conversations: April 2012 14
  15. 15. Your turn Match statements to the relevant boxDifficult Conversations: April 2012 15
  16. 16. Direct or Indirect Vs. Sensitive or Insensitive Sensitive 4. I received feedback that 3. Have you thought at all others are having difficulties about how you interact working with you. Lets with others? explore how to change that.Direct Indirect 2. People don’t like you, you 1. We have poor working have to get better at relationships with each working with others or else. other. InsensitiveDifficult Conversations: April 2012 16
  17. 17. Techniques to avoid• Ordering, directing: ‘you have to…’• Warning, threatening: ‘you’d better not…’• Preaching, moralizing: ‘you ought to…’• Advising, giving solutions: ‘why don’t you…’• Evaluating, blaming: ‘you’re wrong…’• Interpreting, diagnosing: ‘you need to…’Difficult Conversations: April 2012 17
  18. 18. You Vs. I ‘You’ language (ineffective) ‘I’ language (effective) You are constantly asking for I see the documentation procedures being exceptions when it comes to sidestepped, and I want to explore with you how to proper documentation. make it better. I would like to begin meeting with you once a week to look at specific tension spots and brainstorm solutions… You are continually late and I have noticed that your meetings aren’t as effective you show up unprepared for as the rest of the team’s, and I want to discuss how we your meetings. can improve them. What do you think is important for an effective meeting? You aren’t collaborating with I received feedback that team projects aren’t getting the rest of the team and much of everyone’s full attention and I would like to you’ve managed to make change that so that every team member is helping them all dislike you. them. Let’s talk about how we should be contributing to these projects.Difficult Conversations: April 2012 18
  19. 19. Overview• Step 1: Gain clarity• Step 2: Overrule Avoidance• Step 3: Deliver the messageDifficult Conversations: April 2012 19
  20. 20. Objectives • Why we don’t like difficult conversations • No action Vs. Action • 3 steps to handling difficult conversationsDifficult Conversations: April 2012 20
  21. 21. Questions?Difficult Conversations: April 2012 21

×