Worth, Eating, Love
Today's question comes from E.
E, this is your question.
"I have an eating
disorder, how can I get
my self-worth back or get
self-worth at all. When
men approach me, I feel
so unworthy that I
disappear. I'm so afraid
of not being worth it.
What can I do?"
E, this is a very
challenging situation that
you are in and if you
don't have medical
attention already, I would encourage you to do that immediately. See a doctor, a
psychiatrist or at the least a nutritionist to support you in really getting to the root of the
eating disorder that you have and healing it.
So, what I recommend to you today, is to support that process of deep healing.
Self-worth is built one block at a time through micro-actions. So, the first thing I
suggest to you is to wake up in the morning and train your mind to be your ally. The
mind is very powerful. It can be your enemy or it can be your ally. And you want it to be
your ally. So, the first thing I would do is get out a piece of paper and a pen and I would
write a couple of sentences such as I deserve life. I am worthy of life. I deserve love. I
am worthy of love. And you write those at least a hundred times over and over and over
again training your mind from the first moment you wake up. Okay, that's how you start
Then I want you to take life-affirming steps throughout the day that could be meditating
for five minutes just breathing, affirming your health and just focusing on what you
would like to see happen during your day. Very simple. Go for a hike with a friend.
Create all kinds of healthy meals with fruits and vegetables. Just fruits and vegetables.
Take a blender and blend fruits and vegetables and create things which you'd love to
drink. Stir fry different vegetables each day. Create different fruit salads or fruit
smoothies. Just that one simple creative outlet in the area of affirming health would be
very powerful for you to do.
I also would encourage you to connect with the support group of women that are going
through eating disorders so that you can gain the support of a circle as well as give your
own support to others that are going through it.
I encourage you to spend time with life-affirming friends, and life-affirming family
members on a weekly basis. You can't be alone in this process. You really, really need to
be around people.
I would also encourage you to take a dance class. Do something fun like a social class
that makes you feel like you're gaining a new skill.
So, when you meet a man that finds you attractive, I want you to check in with yourself
and see, is this man attracted to me just because of the way I look or do you think that
he might be interested in you more so as a person. We want to get you connecting to
people, to men that will actually honor your self-worth.
And how do you do that? You start talking about some of these life-affirming steps
you're taking such as the creations you're making in the kitchen with fruits and
vegetables, the hike you're taking, the dance class you're taking, the friends you're doing
something with. That allows you to be real, allows you to be in the moment,
spontaneous. You have lots to say and it makes you appear not only to yourself but to
someone else. Take the process slowly but take these actions daily.
I highly recommend Intimate Wisdom, the Sacred Art of Love book and also Fit for
Love. Fit for Love is based on Qi Gong, Kung Fu and Tai Chi. It provides gentle
movements to open the body to the energy of love, energy of confidence around
intimacy. I think that would support you in affirming your health and your self-worth.
Karinna Kittles-Karsten, The Love Educator, is the founder of SacredLove.com an online
dating, love site and fun couples membership site. She is also an internationally recognized
relationship expert, speaker, author of the best-selling book, Intimate Wisdom, The Sacred Art
of Love, and the creator/host of the popular DVD Sacred Love-Making. Visit