Lover with the Whole Package
Today’s question is from A. When I
started dating my partner, they were
such a great catch. Good-looking, great
job, fun to be with, we went out all the
time. The circumstances have now
changed and I don’t want to stay. Can
you please advise me?
Well A, it seems that when you got
together you were very interested in your
partner’s outside package. It looked like
they had the whole package – who were
good-looking, who had a great job, went
out a lot. All of that looks really really good but the one constant in life is that external
circumstances change. Wake us up and down. Someone’s health might change.
Financial income may decrease or increase. Someone may have a lot of positions at one
point in their life and very little at another. Their interests can also change where they
are interested in going out. What they’re interested in doing may change.
A great relationship is founded on the inside. Character is incredibly important - being
a good person, being generous, having good social skills, having good follow-through.
This is character, emotional development. How does a person experience their
emotions? Are they at peace inside or they’re very volatile? Do they love life or do they
look for what’s wrong with the picture? Can they be intimate?
These are things that are really important emotionally to picking the right partner.
You can tell a lot about a book by what’s inside the pages. Who were they friends with?
What are their relationship dynamics like? Would you spend a lot of time with these
people? And do they have good family relationship dynamics?
What’s their mission? What’s their passion for life? Are they committed to it? And
what are they committed to already at this stage in their life? These are essential
qualities to look for. They’re based on what’s happening inside a person. Whether that
what it looks like on the outside. The outside may look like a great package but it’s really
what’s on the inside that makes it great.
And I encourage you to look at the inside of your partner now. Maybe the circumstances
have changed. Do they have the goal? The goal for having a great relationship and if
they do, then look deeper inside of yourself to strike gold within you and reach a deeper
level of the whole package inside and out.
Karinna Kittles-Karsten, The Love Educator, is the founder of SacredLove.com
an online dating, love school and fun couples membership site. She is also an
internationally recognized relationship expert, speaker, author of the best-selling
book, Intimate Wisdom, The Sacred Art of Love, and the creator/host of the
popular DVD Sacred Love-Making. Visit http://sacredlove.com.