Test2- step-through amination

1. The sea level rise mostly due the water warming, more heat melted
the glacer and water rise in many water bodies especailly in cooler
countries. the rising of the water bodies cause by many different
reasons, pollution warm up the the air and therefore, heat the
water glacier in the caost of United states. However, when the
glacer melt then cold water flowed in some small swamps, rivers
and even cause tsunamic. therefore, it destroyed many places as its
occurred usually in America, canada and even in many countries
Academic STYLE weaknesses:

2. The sea level rise mostly due the water warming, more heat melted
the glacer and water rise in many water bodies especailly in cooler
countries. the rising of the water bodies cause by many different
reasons, pollution warm up the the air and therefore, heat the
water glacier in the caost of United states. However, when the
glacer melt then cold water flowed in some small swamps, rivers
and even cause tsunamic. therefore, it destroyed many places as its
occurred usually in America, canada and even in many countries
Academic STYLE weaknesses:

3. The sea level rise mostly due the water warming, more heat melted
the glacer and water rise in many water bodies especailly in cooler
countries. the rising of the water bodies cause by many different
reasons, pollution warm up the the air and therefore, heat the
water glacier in the caost of United states. However, when the
glacer melt then cold water flowed in some small swamps, rivers
and even cause tsunamic. therefore, it destroyed many places as its
occurred usually in America, canada and even in many countries
Academic STYLE weaknesses:
1) Informal expressions:

4. Academic STYLE weaknesses:
1) Informal expressions: The sea level rise mostly due the water warming, more heat melted
the glacer and water rise in many water bodies especailly in cooler
countries. the rising of the water bodies cause by many different
reasons, pollution warm up the the air and therefore, heat the
water glacier in the caost of United states. However, when the
glacer melt then cold water flowed in some small swamps, rivers
and even cause tsunamic. therefore, it destroyed many places as its
occurred usually in America, canada and even in many countries

5. Academic STYLE weaknesses:
1) Informal expressions: The sea level rise mostly due the water warming, more heat melted
the glacer and water rise in many water bodies especailly in cooler
countries. the rising of the water bodies cause by many different
reasons, pollution warm up the the air and therefore, heat the
water glacier in the caost of United states. However, when the
glacer melt then cold water flowed in some small swamps, rivers
and even cause tsunamic. therefore, it destroyed many places as its
occurred usually in America, canada and even in many countries
Think about this:

6. Academic STYLE weaknesses:
1) Informal expressions: The sea level rise mostly due the water warming, more heat melted
the glacer and water rise in many water bodies especailly in cooler
countries. the rising of the water bodies cause by many different
reasons, pollution warm up the the air and therefore, heat the
water glacier in the caost of United states. However, when the
glacer melt then cold water flowed in some small swamps, rivers
and even cause tsunamic. therefore, it destroyed many places as its
occurred usually in America, canada and even in many countries
Think about this:
To write that something usually
occurs is to suggest that it is
repeated and expected manner.
Is that what this writer means?

7. Academic STYLE weaknesses:
1) Informal expressions: The sea level rise mostly due the water warming, more heat melted
the glacer and water rise in many water bodies especailly in cooler
countries. the rising of the water bodies cause by many different
reasons, pollution warm up the the air and therefore, heat the
water glacier in the caost of United states. However, when the
glacer melt then cold water flowed in some small swamps, rivers
and even cause tsunamic. therefore, it destroyed many places as its
occurred usually in America, canada and even in many countries
Think about this:
To write that something usually
occurs is to suggest that it is
repeated and expected manner.
Is that what this writer means?
“And even” is something that
we say for emphasis. A more
formal way to make that
emphasis might be “and also”.

8. The sea level rise mostly due the water warming, more heat melted
the glacer and water rise in many water bodies especailly in cooler
countries. the rising of the water bodies cause by many different
reasons, pollution warm up the the air and therefore, heat the
water glacier in the caost of United states. However, when the
glacer melt then cold water flowed in some small swamps, rivers
and even cause tsunamic. therefore, it destroyed many places as its
occurred usually in America, canada and even in many countries
Academic STYLE weaknesses:
2) Imprecise language:

9. Academic STYLE weaknesses:
2) Imprecise language: The sea level rise mostly due the water warming, more heat melted
the glacer and water rise in many water bodies especailly in cooler
countries. the rising of the water bodies cause by many different
reasons, pollution warm up the the air and therefore, heat the
water glacier in the caost of United states. However, when the
glacer melt then cold water flowed in some small swamps, rivers
and even cause tsunamic. therefore, it destroyed many places as its
occurred usually in America, canada and even in many countries

10. Academic STYLE weaknesses:
2) Imprecise language:
Think about this:
The sea level rise mostly due the water warming, more heat melted
the glacer and water rise in many water bodies especailly in cooler
countries. the rising of the water bodies cause by many different
reasons, pollution warm up the the air and therefore, heat the
water glacier in the caost of United states. However, when the
glacer melt then cold water flowed in some small swamps, rivers
and even cause tsunamic. therefore, it destroyed many places as its
occurred usually in America, canada and even in many countries

11. Academic STYLE weaknesses:
2) Imprecise language:
Broad adjective do not give the reader
a sense of scale or quantity.
Think about this:
The sea level rise mostly due the water warming, more heat melted
the glacer and water rise in many water bodies especailly in cooler
countries. the rising of the water bodies cause by many different
reasons, pollution warm up the the air and therefore, heat the
water glacier in the caost of United states. However, when the
glacer melt then cold water flowed in some small swamps, rivers
and even cause tsunamic. therefore, it destroyed many places as its
occurred usually in America, canada and even in many countries

12. Academic STYLE weaknesses:
2) Imprecise language:
Broad adjective do not give the reader
a sense of scale or quantity.
How much change is more heat?
Think about this:
The sea level rise mostly due the water warming, more heat melted
the glacer and water rise in many water bodies especailly in cooler
countries. the rising of the water bodies cause by many different
reasons, pollution warm up the the air and therefore, heat the
water glacier in the caost of United states. However, when the
glacer melt then cold water flowed in some small swamps, rivers
and even cause tsunamic. therefore, it destroyed many places as its
occurred usually in America, canada and even in many countries

13. Academic STYLE weaknesses:
2) Imprecise language:
Broad adjective do not give the reader
a sense of scale or quantity.
How much change is more heat?
Saying that water flowed into some
small swamps suggests that it didn’t
flow into others. Can you assume that,
as a reader?
Think about this:
The sea level rise mostly due the water warming, more heat melted
the glacer and water rise in many water bodies especailly in cooler
countries. the rising of the water bodies cause by many different
reasons, pollution warm up the the air and therefore, heat the
water glacier in the caost of United states. However, when the
glacer melt then cold water flowed in some small swamps, rivers
and even cause tsunamic. therefore, it destroyed many places as its
occurred usually in America, canada and even in many countries

14. Academic STYLE weaknesses:
2) Imprecise language:
Broad adjective do not give the reader
a sense of scale or quantity.
How much change is more heat?
Saying that water flowed into some
small swamps suggests that it didn’t
flow into others. Can you assume that,
as a reader?
The writer suggests many reasons
causing water bodies to rise, but only
provides two examples. How many
places did the tsunami destroy? How
many countries?
Think about this:
The sea level rise mostly due the water warming, more heat melted
the glacer and water rise in many water bodies especailly in cooler
countries. the rising of the water bodies cause by many different
reasons, pollution warm up the the air and therefore, heat the
water glacier in the caost of United states. However, when the
glacer melt then cold water flowed in some small swamps, rivers
and even cause tsunamic. therefore, it destroyed many places as its
occurred usually in America, canada and even in many countries

15. Academic STYLE weaknesses:
2) Imprecise language:
Broad adjective do not give the reader
a sense of scale or quantity.
How much change is more heat?
Saying that water flowed into some
small swamps suggests that it didn’t
flow into others. Can you assume that,
as a reader?
The writer suggests many reasons
causing water bodies to rise, but only
provides two examples. How many
places did the tsunami destroy? How
many countries?
How can you evaluate the impact
from these imprecise adjectives?
Think about this:
The sea level rise mostly due the water warming, more heat melted
the glacer and water rise in many water bodies especailly in cooler
countries. the rising of the water bodies cause by many different
reasons, pollution warm up the the air and therefore, heat the
water glacier in the caost of United states. However, when the
glacer melt then cold water flowed in some small swamps, rivers
and even cause tsunamic. therefore, it destroyed many places as its
occurred usually in America, canada and even in many countries