This document provides guidance on writing persuasive messages and includes tips on organizing direct requests and problem-solving messages, determining the best subject lines, building credibility, and using techniques like emotional appeal to make messages more persuasive. It discusses organizing persuasive messages by starting direct requests with the request and problem-solving messages by describing the shared problem. The document also recommends starting problem-solving messages with any solution the reader may favor before proposing your own solution.

1. WRITING
PERSUASIVE
MESSAGES
Week 5
Dr. Russell Rodrigo

2. Persuasive messages include:
ž Orders and requests
ž Proposals and recommendations
ž Sales and fund-raising letters
ž Job application letters
ž Reports, if they recommend action
ž Efforts to change people, such as collection
letters, criticisms or performance appraisals,
public services ads, etc.

3. Primary Purpose
ž To have the reader act
ž To provide enough information so
that the reader knows exactly what to
do.
ž To overcome any objections that
might prevent or delay action

4. Secondary Purpose
■ To build a good image of the writer
■ To build a good image of the writer’s organization
■ To cement a good relationship between the writer
and reader.
■ To reduce or eliminate future correspondence on
the same subject so the message doesn’t create
more work for the writer.

5. What is the best subject line
for a persuasive message?
ž For direct requests, use the request, the topic, or a question
Subject: Request for Updated Software
Do We Need an Additional Training Session in
October?
ž For problem-solving messages, use a directed subject line or a
reader benefit
Subject: A Proposal to Change the Formula for Calculating
Retiree’s Benefits
Arguments for Expanding the Marysville Plant

6. How should I organize
persuasive messages?
In direct requests, start with the
request.
In a problem-solving message,
start with the problem you share.

7. Organizing a Direct Request
Request for Action
Details
Request for Action

8. Organizing a Direct
Request
When you expect quick agreement, save the
reader’s time by presenting the request directly.
1. Consider asking immediately for the
Information or service you want.
2. Give readers all the information and details
they will need to act on your request.
3. Ask for the action you want

9. Writing Direct Request
Indirect request: Is there a new version of the
2008 Accounting Reference
Manual?
Direct request: If there is a newer version of the
2008 Accounting Reference
Manual, please send it to me.

10. Organizing Problem-
Solving Messages
- use this pattern of organization when you expect
resistance from your reader but can show that doing
what you want will solve a problem you and your
reader share.

11. Organizing Problem-Solving
Messages
Shared Problem
Details
Solution
Negatives
Reader Benefits
Request for Action

12. Organizing Problem-
Solving Messages
1. Describe the problem you both share (which
your request will solve).
- Present the problem objectively and don’t
assign blame or mention personalities.
2. Give details of the problem.
- Be specific about the cost in money, time,
lost goodwill and so on.
- You have to convince readers that
something has to be done before you can
convince them that your solution is the
best one.

13. Organizing Problem-Solving
Messages
3. Explain the solution to the problem.
Ø If you know that the reader will favor another solution,
start with that solution and show why it won’t work before
you present your solution.
Ø Present your solution without using I or my.
4. Show that any negative elements (cost, time, etc.) are
outweighed by the advantages.

14. Organizing Problem-
Solving Messages
5. Summarize any additional benefits of
the solution.
Ø Can be presented briefly since you
described the problem in detail.
6. Ask for the action you want.
Ø Often your reader will authorize or approve
something; other people will implement the
action.
Ø Give your reader a reason to act promptly

15. What other techniques can make
my messages more persuasive?
ž Build credibility
ž Build emotional appeal
ž Use the right tone
ž Offer a Reason for the Reader to Act Promptly

16. 1. Build Credibility
■ Be factual
■ Be Specific
■ Be reliable

17. 2. Build Emotional Appeal
■ Stories and psychological description are effective ways of
building emotional appeal.
■ Recent research suggests that stories are more persuasive
because people remember them.

18. 3. Use the Right Tone
ž Avoid messages that sound parental or preachy.
Parental: Everyone is expected to comply with these
regulations. I’m sure you can see that they are commonsense
rules needed for our business.
Better: Even on casual days, visitors expect us to be
professional. So leave the gym clothes at home!

19. Arrogant: Based on this evidence, I expect you to give me a new
computer.
Better: If department funds permit, I would like a new computer.
Stuffy: It is requested that you approve the above-mentioned
action.
Better: Please authorize us to create a new subscription letter.
Passive verbs and jargons sound stuffy. Use active imperatives ---
perhaps with ‘Please” --- to create a friendlier tone.

20. 4. Offer a Reason for the
Reader to Act Promptly
■ Show that time limit is real.
■ Show that acting now will save time or money.
■ Show the cost of delaying action.

21. Developing Marketing and Sales
Messages
Assessing
Audience needs
Analyzing your
competition
Determining Key
Selling Points and
Benefits
Anticipating
Purchase
Objections
Creating a
Persuasive Appeal

22. Creating a Persuasive Appeal
Getting Attention – use a wide range of techniques to attract
audience’s attention:
ž A strong product feature or benefit
ž A piece of genuine news
ž A personal appeal to the reader’s emotions and values
ž The promise of insider information
ž The promise of savings
ž A sample of demonstration of the product
ž A solution to a problem.
A I D A model

23. Building Interest
- expand on and support the promises in your
attention-getting opening

24. Increasing Desire
■ Add details and audience benefits to
increase desire for the product or
service.
■ Use strong, colorful language without
overdoing it to keep readers
interested.

25. Motivating Action
ž Persuade the reader to take the preferred action
ž Put a deadline on the offer, or simply remind
members that the sooner they order the sooner
they’ll be able to enjoy the product’s benefits.
ž Make the task of responding as simple as
possible.

26. Credibility
■ credible (adj.): believable, trustworthy
■ credibility (n.): integrity, reliability
■ incredulous (adj.): unbelievable, unreliable
A business proposal must have multiple credible
sources as your opposition will attempt to
destroy your credibility and prove your
statements incredulous.

27. ARE YOU
CREDIBLE?

28. Are you credible?
ž Do you appear trustworthy?
ž Do you appear dynamic and excited about your
proposal?
ž Do you have expertise and knowledge?
ž Will your audience identify with your message?

29. Evaluating Internet
Sources
Top level domains that provide useful clues about a site’s focus
and function:
.com - A commercial site. The primary function is to
make money.
.edu - A site affiliated with an educational institution.
.gov - A government site. It presents trustworthy
information (statistics, facts, reports), but the
interpretive materials may be less useful.
.mil - A military site. The technical information on these
sites is consistently useful, but interpretive material
tends to justify a single, pro-military position.

30. Evaluating Internet
Sources
.museum - can be either nonprofit or for-profit
institutions, consider the purpose that
the particular museum serves.
.org - An organization site. Because
organizations seek to advance
political, social, financial, educational,
and other specific agendas, review
these materials with care.

31. APA (American Psychological
Association) Style
ž All citations should come in the form of an
“APA citation sandwich”:
Signal phrase + + citation
For example:
According to Robbins (2010), President of Travel Trends,
Inc., a market research company specializing in the tourism
industry, in some popular resort towns the hotel vacancy
rate for the week of Christmas 2009 was 35% higher than in
2008. Robbins claims that “doing well” in the recession
often just means staying afloat in whatever way possible.
(para. 3).
research
(quote or paraphrase)

32. — A direct quotation from a source
— A summary of the source or a particular
section of the source
— Your comments on, or reactions to, the source

33. Quoting and Paraphrasing
■ All research papers contain information from
other sources. When you use information that
has been previously published by someone else,
it is important that you avoid plagiarism –
presenting someone else's ideas as your own.
(Plagiarism is not just cheating; it is also
stealing.)

34. direct quotes
When you use a direct quote, you copy and reference the exact
word/s of the author into your writing. A direct quote may be:
ž One word
ž A phrase or part of a sentence
ž A sentence
ž A group of sentences

35. Exercise 1: Identifying direct quotes
Read this paragraph and note the direct quotes:

37. For ALL quotes:
ž Use the exact words of the author
ž Make sure your quotation blends with the
sentence
ž Use strong or weak author to acknowledge the
source
ž Use reporting words or phrases to integrate the
quote into your writing
ž Reference your source of information

38. Acceptable/unacceptable
quotes
One student read Graddol's article and wanted to use Graddol's
ideas in her assignment. The extract on the right is what she wrote.
The student's writing is unacceptable. She has copied
the last part of the sentence word for word.

39. Her second attempt
The student's writing is still
unacceptable. This time she
has used quotation
marks but she has not quoted
accurately.
Her third attempt
This time the student has quoted correctly, because she
• used quotation marks
• copied the exact words
• gave reference details.

40. Short Quotations
(Less Than 40 Words):
A large portion of the internet cannot be
accessed through Google. In fact, no
search engine “comes even close to
indexing all the pages on the web”
(Lucas, 2001, p. 28).

41. Long Quotations (40 Words or More):
Morrison (1998) uses specific details to draw the reader into the scene:
Three cars, say, a ’53 Bel Air, green with cream-colored interior,
license number 085 B, six cylinders,double molding on rear fender
pontoon, Powerglide two- speed automatic transmission; and say a
’49 Dodge Wayfarer, black, cracked rear window, fender skirts, fluid
drive, checkerboard grille; and a ’53 Oldsmobile with Arkansas
plates. The drivers slow down, put their heads out the windows and
holler. Their eyes crinkled in mischief the drove around the girls,
making U-turns and K’s, churning up grass seed in front of the houses,
flushing cats in front of Ace’s Grocery Store. Circling. (p. 12-13).
While the details of this passage are rich and accurate, they are
not clichéd.

42. Paraphrasing
One student wanted to use John Lennon's ideas in his assignment.
The extract on the right is what he wrote.
The student's writing is unacceptable. He has quoted John Lennon word for word
without quotation marks. It is insufficient to simply provide a reference without
also indicating that words are a quotation.

43. His lecturer told him he should paraphrase
Lennon (change Lennon's words), so this is
what he wrote.
The student's writing is still unacceptable. He has changed some
words, but the structure of the sentences is the same.

44. He tried again.
When you paraphrase someone else's information or ideas, you
should
• keep the meaning
• change the word order
• change most of the words
• give reference details.

45. PRACTICE

46. Summarising
ž The extract on the left is about the traditional Aboriginal owners of
the Sydney region. It is from the City of Sydney website.
ž One student wanted to summarise this information for his
assignment. The extract on the right is what he wrote.
This student's summary is unacceptable. It does not acknowledge the City of Sydney
as the source of the information.

47. He tried again.
Now the student's writing is acceptable. He has acknowledged tha
the City of Sydney is the source of this information.

48. When you summarise someone else's
information or ideas, you should
ž keep the author's main ideas
ž avoid simply copying the author's words
ž make it clear which ideas are the author's and
which are your own
ž give reference details.

49. PRACTICE

50. Referencing
ž The extract on the left was written by Manktelow and published in
The Sydney Morning Herald in 2006.
ž One student read Manktelow's article and wanted to use some of
his information in his UTS assignment. The extract on the right is
what he wrote.
The student's writing is unacceptable. He has summarised what Manktelow
wrote, but he has not acknowledged the source of the ideas.

51. He tried again.
Now the student's writing is acceptable. He has provided all the
information that is necessary in the body of his assignment. He will
write the full details for the reference in a list at the end of the
assignment along with all the other references he has used.

52. When you are referring to
someone else's ideas in your
writing, you should
ž make it clear which ideas are the
author's and which are your own
ž give the author's surname
ž give the year of publication
ž give the page number (unless you are
referring to ideas presented in the
publication as a whole).

53. In-Text Citation
Paraphrase
Maracana, located in Rio de Janeiro, is the
largest soccer stadium in the world (Luxner,
2005).
Quote from a Source with Page Numbers
At least one study has shown that “the genetic
architecture of basal female mating
discrimination is different from that of
reinforced mating discrimination” (Ortiz-
Barrientos, Counterman, & Noor, 2004, p.
2261).

54. Quote from a Source with No
Page Numbers
As Gibbs & Soares have stated, “an influenza
pandemic, by definition, occurs only when the
influenza virus mutates into something dangerously
unfamiliar to our immune systems and yet is able to
jump from person to person through a sneeze,
cough or touch” (2005).

55. Quote from a Source with No Page
Numbers & No Author Listed
The logging of forest biomes has resulted in
“hundreds of species of plants and animals
disappearing from the planet on a daily basis”
(Forest biomes, 2002).

56. Source with an Organization
as Author
“Traumatic brain injury (TBI) … occurs when a
sudden trauma causes damage to the brain”
(National Institute of Neurological Disorders and
Stroke [NINDS], 2005). Such an injury could result
from an automobile collision, a fall, or a sports
accident. Any person who has suffered a blow to
the head and is showing symptoms of more than
mild TBI should be rushed to the hospital. While
there are few cures for TBI, immediate medical
attention can prevent further injuries (NINDS,
2005).

57. Personal Communication
Dr. J. R. Thompson of the University of Tennessee
confirmed by email that superconductors have
tremendous potential for saving energy by improving
the efficiency of electrical systems (personal
communication, September 3, 2005)

58. REFERENCES PAGE

59. Print Sources

60. Online Database Sources

61. Internet / Web Page Sources

62. Internet / Web Page Sources

63. Homework 1:
Developing Marketing and
Sales Messages
ž Research what is best to be invested in
Malaysia (e.g. specific stock, piece of real
estate, or other investment)
ž Bring your research facts next meeting.

64. Test 1:
Recommend whether your lecturer should invest in a specific
stock, piece of real estate, or other investment. Assume she
has $ 1,000, $10,000, or $100,000 to invest.
Hints:
ž Pic a stock, property, or other investment you can
research easily. What are your lecturer’s goals? Is he or
she saving for a house? For retirements? For kids’
college expenses? To pay off his/her own student loans?
ž How much risk is your lecturer comfortable with?
ž Is your lecturer will to put time into investment (as
managing a rental house would require)?

65. Homework : Problem-
solution
■ Research a common issue in Malaysia’s
business industries. Specify the industry and the
problem it’s facing. (e.g. human resource, work
ethics, fraud, poor marketing and sales, etc. )
■ Bring your researched facts next meeting.

66. Test 2:
Choose
Choose one of the
industries/companies
you have researched.
Write
Write a persuasive
letter to the CEO of
that company
describing the issue
and propose a
solution.
Organize
Organize it by following
the guidelines
discussed last
meeting.

67. Extra
Practice:
Persuading
an
Organization
to Accept
Student
Interns
At City College, you have more would-be interns
than internship positions. As Director of the
Internship Program, you’d like to line up more
companies to accept your students.
If your school already has an internship
program, use the facts about it. If it doesn’t
assume that internships
ž Are open to students who have completed
at least two courses in the area of the
internship with grades of ‘B’ or better.
ž Can be paid or unpaid.
ž Must involve substantive work supervised
by someone in the organization.
ž Must involve at least 100 hours of on-site
work experience during the term

68. a. Write a form letter that could be mailed to
businesses, urging them to set up one or more
internships.
b. Pick an organization you know well. Write to a
specific person urging him or her to set up
internships in that organization.
c. Write a news release about your school’s need
for more than intern positions.

69. Writing Rubric
Formatting and Sentence level concerns:
(Internally consistent throughout the
document
8
Audience Tone, and Style 8
Content: (Analysis, quality and relevance of
information, engagement with topic.
8
Organization and flow 8
Use of sources (Citations and referencing) 8
Overall 8