Song of Salomon 1:2-4Kiss me and kiss me again, for yourlove is sweeter than wine. 3Howfragrant your cologne; your name islike its spreading fragrance. Nowonder all the young women love you!4Take me with you; come, let’s run!The king has brought me into hisbedroom.
Relationships thrive when weunderstand the five sexualdifferences between husbandsand wives.(Material adapted from Family Life International’sWeekend to Remember Seminar)
The better you know your spouseand yourself the better those 2.4times a week most marriedcouples have sex can become,instead of the “Social SecuritySex: A little bit each month, butnot enough to live on.”
a. Men- their emphasis is onthe physical aspect of sex.
Men view sex in a“compartmentalized” way. Whatthat simply means is that mostmen can have a big fight, losetheir job, miss the last shot thatwould have won the game, and beready for sex that same day.
For women sex is holistic, which can beillustrated this way: Think of a chest with sixdrawers. One drawer is work, another ismotherhood, another finances, another conflict,and another sex. For a woman to enjoy sexcompletely, all drawers must be closed, exceptfor the sex drawer.
For a woman to enjoy sex completely, alldrawers must be closed, except for the sexdrawer.
For men, is different. They have a onedrawer chest. It’s called sex. It’s alwaysopen.
Song of Solomon 2:16My lover is mine, and Iam his. He browsesamong the lilies.
Their performance is always ontheir mind, even if they don’t sayit.
Men aspire to be physicallyneeded, and physical expressionis highly regarded.
Remember, wives, that sex isprobably the ONE thing you can do toyour husband that no other womancan do, without it being a sin. Anotherwoman can wash his clothes, cookhim a meal, etc. Intimacy is the ONLYinteraction that is yours only. Do itwell.
b. Women need security. Theyneed that drawer to be closed shutbefore total enjoyment is possible.
Women aspire to be emotionallyneeded, and intimacy arrives whenthat happens. It takes sex to anotherlevel when the woman feels not onlywanted for the physical pleasure shecan bring, but when her whole beingis connected with her husband.
Men, practice something called“non-sexual touching” during theday, where you let your wife knowshe is loved for who she is, notjust for what she does for you inbed.
Song of Solomon 4:9You have captured my heart,my treasure, my bride.You hold it hostage with oneglance of your eyes…
a. Men are acyclical,which simply means,they can be ready forsex now.
Men can be compared to ahelicopter, in that quick excitementis normative.
They are like a laser beam, oncelocked in, very difficult to distract.
b. Women are cyclical (theirperiod being one factor).
This means that men need todevelop sensitivity to the ebb andflow of the monthly cycle.
Women take longer to achieveexcitement, more like a 757airplane than a helicopter and areeasily distracted (specially bychildren moving around in thehouse), some say that “Killer sexmakes kids, but kids kill sex.”
Here is an idea: Awife of 33 years, andher husband kept acalendar, that showed“fun days” on it, andhelped her husbandunderstand her cyclebetter.
Song of Solomon 4:11Your lips are as sweet as nectar,my bride. Honey and milk areunder your tongue...12You are myprivate garden, my treasure, mybride, a secluded spring, a hiddenfountain
Women have orgasms that aremore emotionally oriented and it’seasier to repeat than men.
Song of Solomon 8:6Place me like a seal over your heart, like aseal on your arm. For love is as strong asdeath…Love flashes like fire, the brightestkind of flame. 7Many waters cannotquench love, nor can rivers drown it.If a man tried to buy love with all hiswealth, his offer would be utterly scorned.
1. Sex is just about the only thingthat is exclusive to a couple. Do itwell.2. Sex is like a thermostat of yourmarriage. How is the temperature inthe bedroom?3. Sex was created by God. It’s hisidea. Make him a part of this area.
Hebrews 13:4Give honor to marriage,and remain faithful to oneanother in marriage.