Reflection PaperRunning Head: Reflection Paper Interpersonal Effectiveness Reflection Paper M4:A2 - Relationships Course Code: PSY180 Submitted by: Roberta Simpkin Date: 27 July 2009
2 Reflection Paper Throughout our different lives, we have many kinds of relationships; friendships,romances, work relationships, school relationships, family relationships. Each of thesesituations can enrich us, add to our self-worth, to our enjoyment, and to our growth.These relationships are healthy, (American Psychological Association). But sometimes we find ourselves in a relationship that makes us feel uneasy.Sometimes we don’t want to admit that a lover, friend, colleague, or family member isnot treating us with the respect we deserve. In all kinds of families, there is likely to besome disagreement, some need for compromise, and there will be times of frustration.These alone do not necessarily mean that a relationship is unhealthy, (AmericanPsychological Association). In a healthy relationship, everyone treats others with respect. You have to feelcomfortable. You are not violent towards the other person. You can resolve yourdifferences satisfactorily. You enjoy each other’s company. You communicate,encourage and enjoy the person’s company, (American Psychological Association). In an unhealthy relationship, one tries to control the other person. One makes theother person feel bad about himself/herself. You do not take time for each other. Youignore the other person when he/she is speaking. And you physically harm the otherperson. You need to talk to each other and if this is not possible, then you need to talk toa therapist. If nothing works and you’re uncomfortable with this person, the onlyalternative is to leave the situation. There is a lot of help today and support to draw upon,(American Psychological Association).
3 Reflection Paper I feel I have been blessed because the relationship I have developed for at least sixmonths (actually it’s 30 years) is with my spouse. For me my model of a relationshipwould be the stage model because everything happened in a pattern. We started withinitiating where we met and saw we had the same upbringing, interests, and goals. Aftercontact was reciprocated, we moved into the experimenting stage. We did meet at workso at first we shared different aspects of the job. Then we moved forward into ourrelationship and began seeing each other after work moving into the intensifying stage.We developed a friendship and then a romance. Entering the integrating level, we sawourselves as a couple. Finally we entered the state of development where we openlydiscussed our relationship to others. We maintained a level of trust and always kept thelines of communication open, (Argosy University, Guest Lecture Timothy A. Heck,Ph.D.). I think this is why we have survived for 30 years. We mutually give each otherrespect, communicate, and neither of us tries to control the other. I think this is whymarriages fail. One tries to control the other, (Argosy University, Starting andDeveloping New Relationships 2009). I think we’ve survived because we followed some rules. We never discussedwork at home and vice versa. We gave each other space. We didn’t let the world, newtechnology, or families affect our relationship. I think the best advice I’d have for a relationship to survive is I would have to saythat you have to make compromises and sacrifices. You have to keep the lines of
4 Reflection Papercommunication open. The most important thing to do is to trust each other and thepeople around you and feel good about yourself. Treat yourself with respect and you’lltreat others with respect. This is the only way you’ll fulfill your life for the future.
5 Reflection Paper ReferencesAmerican Psychological Association (2009)Argosy University. 2009, PSY 180, Guest Lecture: Timothy A. Heck, Ph.D., retrieved from http://www.myeclassonline.comArgosy University, 2009. Starting and Developing New Relationships, retrieved from http://www.myeclassonline.com