1-BE RESPONSIBLE: BE PROACTIVE. THE HABIT OF PERSONAL VISION. I have the ability to choose my own response. I carry my own weather – whether it rains or shines makes no difference to me. BY GROUNDING my emotional life not on the moods or weaknesses of others, but upon my self-chosen values, my behavior is a product of my own conscious choices based on principles, rather than a product of my conditions, based on feelings. Focus time and energy on things I can control (circle of influence) in lieu of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which I have little or no control (circle of concern). In so doing, I become RESPONSE-ABLE.
2. BEGIN WITH THE END INMIND. THE HABIT OF PERSONAL LEADERSHIP. Without VISION, I diminish. All things are created twice: the mental or first creation, and the physical or second creation. If I fail to develop my own SELF-AWARENESS and become responsible for first creations, I empower other people and circumstances to shape my life by default. Lead a life centered on the principles of QUALITY, patience, authenticity, WONDER, mindfulness, self-knowledge
3. PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST THE HABIT OF PERSONAL MANAGEMENT. The key is to schedule my priorities, not to prioritize my schedule. Therefore, do the important things first – because where you are headed is more important than how fast you are going. SAY NO TO THE UNIMPORTANT, Remember that frustration is a function of our expectations, not our realizations. So trade crises for progress by focusing on things that are truly important. When I put first things first, I dont just do things differently – I do DIFFERENT THINGS.
4. THINK WIN-WIN. THE HABIT OF INTERPERSONAL LEADERSHIP. [Relationships start here.] Win-Win is a belief in the Third Alternative springing from an abundance mentality. Its not your way or my way; its a better way; a higher way. Character is the foundation of win-win which is comprised of integrity, ABUNDANCE mentality, and maturity. Win- Win is the attitude of seeking either mutual benefit or being able to say no deal. Life is best lived cooperatively, not competitively. Everyone I meet is my mirror, thus it is easier to be caring than hostile. My friends are all around me; I just havent met them all yet. Difficult people can be my greatest teachers for what I need most at that moment.
5. SEEK FIRST TOUNDERSTAND, THEN TO BEUNDERSTOOD. THE HABIT OF COMMUNICATION. [Relationships succeed here.] To fully, deeply understand another is to listen with the eyes and the heart, which inspires openness and trust. Empathic listening within the others frame of reference opens me to be influenced. The paradox is that in order to have influence, I must first be influenced. HUMBLE myself by acknowledging that I can be unenthusiastic, impulsive, undisciplined, pessimistic, and an impatient listener. Then strive to transform those same weaknesses into strengths. Always be loyal to the absent – always. Like food, less talk is actually more.
6. SYNERGIZE. THE HABIT OF CREATIVE COOPERATION/TEAMWORK. POTENTIAL. [Relationships flourish here.] Synergy is the culmination of all the previous habits. Synergy uses differences to build unforeseen strengths. Left to our own experiences, we constantly suffer from insufficient data. Compromise, which seeks only an end, is 1+1=1½, whereas synergy, which seeks a new beginning, makes 1+1=3, 4, or more. This is done by realizing that people see the world not as it is, but as they are [conditioned to see it]. Be sensitive to others mental maps (paradigms) which have been constructed to this point in their life with their own experiences.
7. SHARPEN THE SAW. THE HABIT OF SELF-RENEWAL. Spend one hour each day renewing and enhancing the greatest asset I have – myself – through the physical, spiritual, mental and social/emotional dimensions of my nature. Success has two sides: production capability (PC), and production (P). Without the renewal of PC, P begins to diminish, and eventually perishes. RECOGNIZE my strengths daily, reaching for new ones. REMEMBER what is important in life is learning, health, purpose, conformity to my own uniqueness, temperance, and inner peace. Learning will always return meaning and energy to my effort, so Im never alone with a great book.
In Brief:1. BE PROACTIVE I am responsible for my choices and have the freedom to choose. I am responsible of my behavior and the choices I make. I can expand my personal freedom and influence through being response-able. Recognize reactive triggers, increase my circle of influence, become a transition person and exercise the four human endowments.2. BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND Mental creation precedes physical creation. I can choose my future and create a vision of it. I will create results mentally before beginning any activity.3. FIRST THINGS FIRST Effectiveness requires balancing important relationships, roles, and activities. Things which matter most should never be at the mercy of things which matter least. Focus on Quadrant II and plan weekly; implement daily, based on my mission.
4. THINK WIN-WIN Effective relationships require mutual benefit. I seek the benefit of others, as well as my own. I get better results by cooperating interdependently than competing independently. Balance courage with consideration and persist in looking for win-win outcomes.5. SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND, THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD Diagnosis must precede prescription, and understanding comes through listening. Assume I dont fully understand and by listening first, Ill be better understood. Use empathic listening… from the others frame of reference.6. SYNERGIZE The whole is more than the sum of its parts. I value the differences in others and seek the Third Alternative (a cooperative solution reached in a win-win spirit that all parties feel good about). Working together cooperatively takes time but produces better long-term results. Use the synergy ground rules (win-win mentality; open mind; value differences) and apply habits 4 &
7. SHARPEN THE SAW Production (results) require the development of Production Capability (resources). I will continuously improve and renew in the four dimensions of life. Set and achieve goals for personal P/PC balance. FOUNDATIONAL PRINCIPLES P/PC Balance Paradigms; See Do Get Maturity Continuum Work from the Inside Out Trust is a balance of character and competence All systems are perfectly aligned to get the exact results they deliver.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People provide a holistic, integrated approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness. Habits are patterns of behavior that involve three overlapping components: knowledge, desire, and skill. Because these three components are learned rather than inherited, our habits are our second nature, not our first. Thus, we are not our current habits. We can make or break our habits.
Principles Principles are guidelines for human conduct that are proven to have enduring, permanent value. Theyre fundamental. Theyre essentially unarguable because they are self-evident. Just as there are natural laws such as gravity which govern the physical dimension, principles are natural laws which govern the human dimension.
The Two Sides of Success Aesops fable "The Goose and the Golden Egg" is the story of a poor farmer who one day visits the nest of his goose and finds at her side a glittering golden egg. Though he suspects it to be a trick, he decides to take it home, where he learns, to his delight, that the egg is actually pure gold. Every morning thereafter the fanner gathers one golden egg from the nest of the goose and soon
becomes fabulously wealthy. As he grows rich, however, he also grows greedy and impatient with the output of the goose. Finally, in an attempt to get at once all the gold in the goose, he kills and opens it, only to find nothing. Effectiveness lies in the balance – what we call the P/PC Balance: "P" stands for production of desired results, the golden eggs. "PC" stands for production capability, the ability or asset that produces the golden eggs. Excessive focus on P results in ruined health, worn-out machines, depleted bank accounts, and broken relationships. Too much focus on PC is like people who run three or four hours a day, bragging about the extra ten years of life it creates, unaware they are spending them running. Or a person endlessly going to school, never producing, living on other peoples golden eggs – the eternal student syndrome.
Before we can really understand the 7 Habits, we need to understand our own paradigms and how to make a Paradigm Shift. The word paradigm was originally a scientific term, and is more commonly used today to mean a model, theory, perception, assumption, or frame of reference. A simple way to understand paradigms is to see them as maps. Assume you wanted to arrive at a specific location in central London. But suppose you were given the wrong map. Through a printing error, the map labeled London was actually a map of Wolverhampton. Can you imagine the frustration and ineffectiveness of trying to reach your destination?
The more we are aware of our basic paradigms, maps, or assumptions, and the extent to which we have been influenced by our experiences, the more we can take responsibility for those paradigms, examine them, test them against reality, change them if necessary, and listen to others and be open to their perceptions, thereby getting a larger picture and a far more objective view. It becomes obvious that if we want to make relatively minor changes in our lives, we can focus on our attitudes and behaviors. But if we want to make significant quantum changes, we need to work on our basic paradigms – the way we view ourselves and the world around us.
Emotional Bank Account With each new relationship we make, we open what could be termed an Emotional Bank Account. Much like a financial bank account, deposits are made in and withdrawals are taken from an Emotional Bank Account. When withdrawals exceed deposits, the account is overdrawn. One important difference between the two kinds of accounts is that the human relationship requires continual small deposits in order to maintain its balance. The following are common deposits and withdrawals we make into the Emotional Bank Accounts of others Our motives for making deposits should be sincere or others will feel manipulated and grow cynical and distrustful. By maintaining a large Emotional Bank Account, you will operate from a high level of trust with your family, friends, and associates. In relationships the little things are the big things.
The Law of the Harvest In all of life, there are sequential stages of growth and development. A child learns to turn over, to sit up, to crawl, and then to walk and run. Each step is important and each takes time. No step can be skipped.
The Maturity Continuum The 7 Habits are not a set of separate or piecemeal psyche-up formulas. In harmony with natural laws of growth, they provide a sequential approach to move us progressively on a Maturity Continuum from dependence to independence to interdependence. Dependence is the paradigm of you – you take care of me. Independence is the paradigm of I – I am self-reliant. Interdependence is the paradigm of we – we can do it; we can combine our talents and abilities to create something greater together.