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Why Kids Still Wet their Beds - Bedwetting Problem


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Why Kids Still Wet their Beds - Bedwetting Problem

  1. 1. ==== ====For Great Quality Diapers Products and Tips Check Out This ====A second reason for peoples negative feelings toward older children still being in diapers could bethe fact that parents used to use cloth diapers and rubber pants for their babies. This meant lots ofwork for parents especially before the advent of washing machines. In this circumstance parentsfelt compelled to get their children out of diapers as soon as possible. If an older child had to weardiapers to bed for bed-wetting the parents might have been upset about the prospect of having tospend years washing diapers and rubber pants. Subsequently many parents used the shamingapproach to try to get them out of diapers.Over the years weve become more enlightened about this issue(although we still have a long wayto go in my opinion) and most people realize that this approach doesnt work and in many casescan make the situation worse. That being said the people who had the bed-wetting problem whenthey were younger remember their parents using this approach with them and they might use thistechnique with their children also.A third reason for our negative attitudes regarding this stems from our attitudes toward variousmilestones in a persons life. Most cultures have certain expectations of when were supposed toachieve certain things-were supposed to get a drivers license by a certain age(I know a womanwho is 24 who still does not have a drivers license),were supposed to graduate from high schoolby a certain age,etc. Nowhere are our cultural expectations more deep-seated than with bed-wetting and diaper use and if a person needs diapers past the age that is considered sociallyacceptable by most people we instill in them the idea that they should feel ashamed.To get back to parental attitudes toward diaper use I wonder if one of the reasons most parentsare so adamant about getting their child or teenager out of night diapers is that a part of them feelsashamed about it. Its a very competitive world out there and every flaw a child might have islooked at as something that must be hidden or fixed at all costs. The prevailing attitude amongmany parents is that their kids must be perfect at everything because any sign of imperfection isviewed by society as a sign of weakness. There is immense pressure for parents to make suretheir children go to the best schools,to participate in numerous after school activities because itlooks good on their records,play sports,etc. Imagine if it got out that 18 year old Susan is still indiapers and plastic pants at night? So much for going to Harvard!Parents are also competitive with one another and unfortunately some hyper competitive parentsuse their children as pawns either consciously or subconsciously in this competition. They feel thatany flaw the kids might have is a reflection on their parenting skills and might make them look bad."What would our friends and neighbors think if they found out our 15 year old son still wearsdiapers and plastic pants at night? How embarrassing!" We need to grow up! Everybody has someflaws-thats what makes us human! The only thing we can do is accentuate our strengths and dothe best we can to work on our flaws and try to improve ourselves but we shouldnt obsess about
  2. 2. our weaknesses.A fourth reason for our negative feelings concerning using diapers to manage bed-wetting has todo with our emphasis on self-image. Although this is a universal concept this concept is especiallyimportant in the U.S. Most of our ideas of self-image unfortunately tend to be rather superficial.Were very concerned with status,power,image,and success and these four things are inextricablylinked in many peoples minds with having a strong self-image. A large number of people believethat wearing diapers represents the opposite of all four of the qualities in which people feel astrong self-image consists of .In particular a significant number of people believe wearing diapersrepresents a feeling of being powerless,no doubt due to the fact that most people associatediapers with babies. Many people of course view babies as the paragon of powerlessness.Because of this view a large number of people develop a negative self-image if they have to usediapers for bed-wetting.A fifth reason is that some people believe that by putting the child in diapers for bed-wetting you inessence "are giving them permission to wet the bed" or that "its okay to wet the bed." Believe it ornot Ive heard some people say this and I think its one of the most ridiculous things Ive everheard. Since the purpose of having the child or teenager wear diapers at night is to keep the beddry I think it sends the opposite message-that its not okay to wet the bed. In no way can putting achild or teenager in a diaper for a problem they cant control be construed as "its okay to wet thebed." I think it sends the message that the parents are going to make their children as comfortableas possible until a cure is found. Or if the treatment options currently available dont work or arenot viable for some reason, theyre going to have them wear diapers because its more healthy forthe child and it makes them more comfortable.Diapers should not be the first option used for bed-wetting, but by the same token they should beused if all alternatives have been exhausted or are not desirable or feasible. To me diapers shouldbe viewed no differently than sanitary napkins for women.A sixth reason why most people are so against older bed wetters remaining in diapers at night isgroup think. People in general want to conform and with that tendency comes the fact that peoplego along with the prevailing wisdom without questioning its validity. They internalize it and itbecomes so ingrained in their thinking that they cant imagine anything else. Were like fish inwater-it becomes so much a part of their life and environment that they dont even notice it. Thefact that the majority believe in something is no guarantee that its right. History shows that inmany cases it is the minority or a sole visionary who is right and the majority wrong.Finally we tend to put too much credence in what experts say without questioning its validity. I mnot suggesting that we shouldnt listen to anything the experts say but we should keep thefollowing points in mind: experts frequently have conflicting opinions which could mean either thatthey in fact have opposite opinions on certain issues or that the issue is complex and they need toundertake more research in order to make a definitive conclusion or come to a consensus.Second, there have been many situations where the experts were later shown to be wrong.Childcare is no exception. For example it was originally thought that playing Mozart would have apositive effect on an unborn childs brain development. This theory known as the "Mozart Effect"was later shown to be false(who knows-after further research and an improved understanding ofcognition they might change their minds again-this has also happened with certain things) With
  3. 3. this in mind its conceivable that our current opinions about using diapers to manage bed-wettingare wrong also( I strongly believe that this is the case and that our thinking on this issue iscompletely misguided) although with how entrenched our attitudes our regarding this issue it mighttake a generation or more to overcome this inertia and reconsider our current attitudes concerningthis situation.A seventh reason why most parents use pull-ups or "Goodnites" instead of diapers for theiryoungsters bed-wetting may be that theyre not aware of the different brands and types ofproducts out there to manage bed-wetting. As mentioned previously there are many choicesavailable to manage ones bed-wetting. Also some styles might not be used as much because ofgenerational differences. For example,although some younger parents use pin-on diapers andplastic pants for their babies, most younger parents are probably not familiar with pin-on diapersand plastic pants since theyre not as popular as they once were. The parents who do use pin-oncloth diapers and plastic pants for their babies might continue to use them if their child or childrenwho wet the bed since the parents are familiar with them but parents who dont use them or arenot familiar with them might not use them unless their friends,relatives,or other people recommendthem. Second,even if parents are aware of the different choices out there to manage their child orteenagers bed-wetting its very time consuming sorting through all this information in order tomake an informed decision about the best type of product to buy. Theres a bewildering array ofproducts out there to deal with bed-wetting and it can be quite daunting learning about all thedifferent products out there.Thats where the role of medical professionals comes in to play. I think urologists,pediatricians,and other medical professionals should have some basic knowledge of the differenttypes of diapers available to manage bed-wetting and the advantages and disadvantages of each.While they obviously cant have an encyclopedic knowledge of this they can apprise their patientsof the basic styles of cloth diapers such as as pin-on diapers,pull-ons,snap-ons,and Velcro; anddisposable diapers such as tape-on diapers and pull-ons.They can also inform them about the different types of waterproof pants such as plastic pants andthe different types of waterproof sheets. If possible they should also have a list of severalcompanies that sell both kinds of diapers and a list of websites(such as bed-wetting forums,incontinence organizations,and other resources) .These organizations can provide furtherinformation not listed in the physicians office such as additional companies that manufacture andsell incontinence products,information about bed-wetting support groups,etc.I was reading that in the U.S. and other countries they have wound,ostomy,and continencenurses. From what I understand wound,ostomy,and continence nurses(abbreviated wocnnurses)perform the following functions: they inform patients of the different types and brands ofproducts available to manage incontinence;the different ways some products may effect the skinsuch as causing diaper rash and/or other problems; what types and brands of skincare products touse if this is the case- Desitin,A&D ointment,powder,petroleum jelly such as the Vaselinebrand,lotions,etc.;the pros and cons of different absorbent products;in addition to the differentcompanies that sell incontinence products in order to help guide the patient in making a decisionabout what type of products to purchase based on their current needs.I think this is a good thing that we have these types of specialists-after all its very time consumingtrying to find out this information on your own whereas a nurse or other medical professional
  4. 4. specializing in bed-wetting and other incontinence issues can find the information more rapidly andefficiently due to the resources they have at their disposal. Its my belief that if more peoplebecome aware of the different diapering methods out there to manage bed-wetting more peoplemight use these products thereby decreasing the stigma associated with olderchildren,teenagers,adolescents,and adults wearing overnight diapers. The medical community canplay a big role in the reduction of this stigma by informing both parents and patients of theseoptions.A second way to reduce the stigma associated with using diapers to manage bed-wetting in olderchildren,adolescents,teenagers,and adults is to have talk show hosts discuss this on their shows. Ithink this would be a perfect topic to discuss on Oprah. Due to the nature and depth of the materialshe could make it a two or more part series on her show. She could invite experts on bed-wettingto discuss what it is,the age groups effected,adult bed-wetting,different cures and treatments for itand the advantages and disadvantages of each,the best ways to cope psychologically if it cant becured,and the different types of protection to manage bed-wetting.As far as protection is concerned the experts would discuss the different diapering optionsavailable to manage bed-wetting and the advantage and disadvantages of each. Some of theoptions discussed on this segment would be cloth diapers such as pin-on,pull-on,and other types,disposable diapers such as tape-on and pull-on,the various types of waterproof pants such asplastic pants,and the various types of waterproof sheets. I think its important to mention all theseoptions for two reasons. One, itll make parents aware of options to manage their youngters bed-wetting they might not have known about or if they did know about them they might not haveconsidered them before. Two,by doing this more people might consider using these different typesof garments thereby decreasing the stigma surrounding them.Oprah has a lot of clout and influence and I believe that people such as her(and other celebrities)could help lessen the negative image of bed-wetting and diaper use. I guarantee after this episodeof Oprah diapers would sell like hot cakes- department stores such as Walmart and Target andfood stores such as Giant couldnt keep them on the shelf .By both doctors and celebritiesrecommending diapers this might have a snowball effect. For instance someone who uses diapersfor their bed wetter because doctors or celebrities recommended them might in turn recommendusing diapers to their friend/friends who have children with bed-wetting problems therebyincreasing the number of people who use diapers to manage bed-wetting. The subsequentincrease in the number of people using diapers to manage bed-wetting will do more to decreasethe stigma associated with using diapers for bed-wetting.We as a society have matured as far as many medical issues are concerned. For example there isless stigma surrounding mental illness and other medical problems,but unfortunately bed-wettingand the use of diapers to manage it is an issue that remains taboo. We are very stubbornregarding this issue. Most people for a variety of reasons do not want to budge regarding thisissue. I suspect that in the future we will loosen up about this issue to a certain extent,but I alsothink there will always be people who view this in a negative light no matter how persuasively weargue the merits of wearing diapers for bed-wetting.One of the major reasons for the stigma of diaper use in older bed wetters has to do with ourthoughts and feelings on the issue of dignity. Many older children,adolescents,and teenagers feelundignified about wearing diapers to bed. To a large extent our concept of dignity is shaped either
  5. 5. consciously or subconsciously by people we admire such as sports figures,entertainers,andheroes. We have this idealized image of them and we tend to extrapolate that image to all aspectsof their personal lives. Because of this perfect image we have of them we couldnt imagine themhaving a problem like bed-wetting. Of course we must remember that these individuals are humanalso and are subject to the various health problems that everyone else has. In fact many famousstars such as Suzanne Sommers, Johnny Carson,and Michael Landon(to name a few)experienced bed-wetting when they were growing up.I also feel that are ideas about dignity go hand in hand to a large degree with our feelings aboutindependence-being able to take care of yourself and run your own life. As mentioned earlierdiapers represent to many people a return(at least symbolically) to a state when their parents tookcare of them which is a blow to a child or teenagers ego. Adults who have to wear diapers to bedalso feel this shame. Many people find it very difficult to get past this feeling of shame andunfortunately some people can never get past it. Although most people find it undignified wearingdiapers and plastic pants for bed-wetting,personally I think it would make a person feel moreundignified laying all night in pee soaked bedding and pajamas!Dignity also relates to a feeling of control which in turn relates to are sense of self-esteem and howself-confident we feel about ourselves. When we are self-confident we have a feeling that we arein control of our lives and that in turn makes us feel more dignified. Again by wearing diapers tobed we feel a lack of control which in turn makes us feel less self-confident. This in turn erodes ourfeeling of dignity. This is the case with many other medical problems as well. For example aperson who has to wear a cast for a broken leg or a person who has to take insulin shots fordiabetes might feel either consciously or subconsciously that he or she doesnt have control. Thecast or needle represents the feeling of a lack of control. The same is true for wearing diapers andplastic pants to bed. Of course every person is different in the degree in which they have thesefeelings and their ability to overcome these feelings.One thing that we must realize however is that we should not be defined by our illness. The factthat a person has to wear diapers to bed is only a part of who that person is. A persons dignityshould be measured by the fortitude they exhibit in dealing with lifes adversities and how well theytreat other people. If a person has to wear diapers to bed and they deal with it with a sense ofgrace and humor then the fact that he or she needs diapers at night should not detract one iotafrom their dignity.Colin EllisonArticle Source:
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