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Stop assuming, start asking questions: from conflict to collaboration

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From DareConf Mini, London January 2014. Penny Walker talks about conflict, collaboration and asking great questions. Watch the sessions here: http://new.livestream.com/dareconf/mini and find out more about DareConf here http://2014.dareconf.com/london

Published in: Business, Technology
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Stop assuming, start asking questions: from conflict to collaboration

  1. 1. STOP ASSUMING, START ASKING QUESTIONS: HOW TO TURN CONFLICT INTO COLLABORATION @penny_walker_sd
  2. 2. Get interested in the grey areas.
  3. 3. Both sides needed to win.
  4. 4. Positions Interests Needs
  5. 5. Position Interest Need Common ground
  6. 6. I swapped my placards for post-it notes.
  7. 7. Listen
  8. 8. Listening is not the same as waiting to speak.
  9. 9. Reflect
  10. 10. Clarify
  11. 11. Really useful questions: What do you want to see? Can you tell me more about that? What would that give you? What do you want to achieve, that this could help you with?
  12. 12. Not really questions: Have you thought about doing this instead? What kind of dumb idea is that? You haven’t really thought this through, have you?
  13. 13. It’s not helpful to rescue people.
  14. 14. Position Interest Need
  15. 15. We move from conflict to collaboration when we listen louder to the things we don’t understand; when we move away from being right, towards the uncomfortable truths.
  16. 16. Want to know more? Use PWP15 for a 15% discount penny-walker.co.uk/blog @penny_walker_sd
  17. 17. Picture credits Thames Barrier – author’s own library, copyright unknown. If this is your picture please get in touch. Bottle – author’s own library, copyright unknown. If this is your picture please get in touch. Recycled paper – http://www.flickr.com/photos/bobydimitrov/3425851037/sizes/l/ Water pollution – http://www.flickr.com/photos/paolotonon/334402074/sizes/l/ Recycling truck – http://www.flickr.com/photos/naturewise/5528657845/sizes/l/ Diesel pump – http://www.flickr.com/photos/12495774@N02/8332832613/sizes/l/ Castle – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3ACastillo_de_los_Mendoza_-_Manzanares_el_Real_-_Madrid__Espa%C3%B1a.jpg Workshop leaves / branches – Dialogue by Design / Sustainable Development Commission. Workshop people – Helen Fisher / Sciencewise Placards – http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamesm/23059398/sizes/o/ Post-its on better meetings – Author’s own / Sustainable Development Commission Headphones – http://www.flickr.com/photos/abrinsky/3754792367/sizes/l/ Glasses - http://www.flickr.com/photos/halcyon/98048815/sizes/o/ Question mark – http://www.flickr.com/photos/bilal-kamoon/6835060992/sizes/l/ Medmerry – The Environment Agency http://www.flickr.com/photos/environment-agency/10687636194/sizes/l/ Insulation – http://www.flickr.com/photos/cseeman/2614836996/sizes/l/ Light bulbs – http://www.flickr.com/photos/mncerts/6882037149/sizes/l/ Polar vortex – http://www.flickr.com/photos/hawkinsdigital/11920649743/sizes/l/ Flood http://www.flickr.com/photos/usgeologicalsurvey/2594326010/sizes/o/ Aral Sea http://www.flickr.com/photos/teosaurio/9121875591/sizes/l/ Scream – http://www.flickr.com/photos/salforduniversity/4055512146/sizes/o/ Walk – David Caines / Penny Walker Book jacket – DoSustainability / Sedition Publishing

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