Power of Assertiveness

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Power of Assertiveness

  1. 1. Excerpted from “How a Good Person can Really Win” By Pavan Choudary POWER OF ASSERTIVENESS The aggressive man feels that his needs are more important than the needs of the other. He might have short term wins but ultimately sets himself up for retaliation. The Submissive man thinks that the other person’s needs are more important than his. He lives the life of a victim and is often treated as a door mat. The assertive man knows that his needs are as important as that of the other and both can be met. He gets win-win outcomes and forges enduring alliances. It is important to learn to talk assertively. It is an important skill which will help you rise without trampling others. ASSERTIVE TALK Do Not A) Use ‘YOU’ Statements Do Use ‘I’ Statements e.g. − I felt embarrassed e.g. – You when you said that in embarrassed me in front of others. front of others. e.g. – You always e.g. – I would like to talk
  2. 2. interrupt me. B) Give Judgments e.g. − This is a lousy report. without interruption. Give Factual Descriptions e.g. − In your report the actions points are e.g. – If you don’t missing. Also some change your statistics like population attitude you will be of the area, the division in trouble. it comes under etc. are incorrect. Please correct and pay greater attention to detail in future. e.g. − If you don’t send your reports on time I will need to take disciplinary action against you. C) Sound Bombastic Express thoughts, opinions and feelings reflecting ownership. e.g. − The only sensible strategy is to go to the higher e.g. − I believe going to the higher ups is the best ups. policy.
  3. 3. D) Be dictatorial or tentative while giving orders e.g. − Why don’t you join me tomorrow for field work e.g. − Would you mind giving your analysis. Say You should….. Say you have to…   Use direct requests/directives/com mands e.g. − Will you please/please join me for field work tomorrow. e.g. − Will you please/please give your analysis Say Please do this…. Say Have this done…

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