2. 127
our
picks
forthe
hottest
head-
lines
and
spiciest
moments
TO DIE FOR
u As the title femme
fatale in Sin City:
A Dame to Kill For
and a vengeful naval
commander in 300:
Rise of an Empire,
actress and former
Bond girl Eva Green
proves her looks
can kill.
“It is not a
scandal. It is
a sex crime.
The law
needs to be
changed, and
we need to
change.”
—Jennifer Lawrence,
responding to the
hacking and leaking
of her personal
nude photos
• After being subpoenaed
to produce a glass dildo
as evidence during a
sexual-harassment suit,
Kid Rock responds, “All
parties involved in this
glass dildo case can shove
one up their ass.”
• During Martha
Stewart’s Reddit Ask Me
Anything interview, a user
asks for tips on cleaning
a leather harness for a
strap-on dildo. The do-
mestic mogul’s sly reply?
“What’s a dildo?”
• While filming a scene
with a Hitachi Magic
Wand vibrator, porn star
Missy Martinez burns her
hands when the popular
device starts shooting
sparks. Luckily the rest of
her is spared.
CELEBS & sex toys
kid
rock
missymartinez
martha
stewart
burning up
for Your (self) love
cleaning hardware
it’s a good thing
rock hard
smoking gun
3. LIKE
FINE
WINE
128
Year of the Butt
• Pin the tail
on the jack-
ass? In March
multiple
Pinterest
accounts are
hacked and
flooded with
butt pics.
• A Brooklyn
salon now
offers a
Shiny Hiney
treatment to
improve your
butt selfies.
Angle is
everything.
u Activist Lina Esco
launches a topless-
equality movement with
her film Free the Nipple.
Chelsea Handler joins
the cause when she
Instagrams a photo of
herself alongside Vladimir
Putin. Her caption:
“Anything a man can do,
a woman can do better.”
let’s get this
off our chest
• Inspired by
Minaj’s cover art,
Marge Simpson
joins in the fun.
• Nicki Minaj demurely
displays her posterior.
• Baby don’t
got real back.
Miley Cyrus
mocks Minaj
in concert and
dons a fake
fanny. Cyrus
loses the butt
battle.
u Is 46 the new 21? Twenty-five years after her first
playboy cover, Pamela Anderson poses nude for French
magazine Purple Fashion, and she’s as stunning as
ever. Here’s a toast to the Canadian beauty.
• She can’t stop and she
won’t stop. Miley Cyrus
bares all again for famed
fashion photographer
Mario Testino and Vogue
Germany in an homage to
the blonde bombshell.
blonde ambition
miley does marilyn
4. 129
• Jennifer Lopez
teams with Iggy
Azalea for the subtly
titled “Booty.”
film TV
Nymphomaniac:
VoLumesI&II
• Slow burn?
Director Lars
von Trier
takes five and
a half hours
to explain a
woman’s life of
erotic exploits.
1
2
Space
Station 76
• Good cast-
ing: Playmate
Anna Sophia
Berglund
makes a cameo
as a star angel
in this comic
drama.
3
Under
the skin
• It’s not a mud
bath! Scarlett
Johansson
plays an alien
who seduces
men and then
lures them
into a pool of
black goo.
4
GAme of
Thrones
• The HBO
fantasy drama
continues to
deliver an
array of boobs,
butts, swords
and, most im-
portant, fiery
dragons.
6
Masters
of sex
• Jane Martin
(Heléne
Yorke) is a
secretary
who helps
Dr. Masters
with his
experimental
research.
5
True
detective
• Important
plot point or
another ex-
cuse for HBO
to show a
naked woman
(Alexandra
Daddario)?
SexIn
Cinema
• Meghan
Trainor’s “All
About That
Bass” single
breaks
records and
tops the
charts for
months.
• Marvel
cancels
this Spider-
Woman cover
after her
superpowered
posterior
causes
controversy.
• Miami
rapper
and rump
connoisseur
Trick Daddy
declares
August 5
National Eat
a Booty Day.
• Butt-selfie queen
Jen Selter lands a
shoot in Vanity Fair.
4
1
2
3
5
6
5. m
cosmo-
nots?
u The Rus-
sian space
agency sends
a team of
geckos into
orbit to have
sex in zero
gravity. They
go on to sell
insurance in
heaven.
medical
miracle
u Women
born with
no (or
shortened)
vaginas are
finally able
to enjoy sex
with organs
grown in a
lab from their
own cells.
twist &
shout
u The boo-
merang
effect? A
scientist
convinces
subjects to
have sex in
an MRI ma-
chine. Result:
Penises are
very bendy.
bone to
pick
u Measure up:
According to
a new study,
women pre-
fer greater
girth for one-
night stands,
as long as it’s
also at least
6.5 inches
long.
pain
or…
u In Kenya a
study finds
that wives
with well-
endowed
husbands are
more likely to
cheat. Why?
Big penises
can cause
discomfort.
sex science
130
exactly
what you
think it is
• Never a shrink-
ing violet when it
comes to her drip-
ping sensuality,
Rihanna goes for
broke when she
re-creates a classic
Lui cover. Inside
the magazine the
singer showcases
her backside with
better tan lines
than the Copper-
tone girl. A few
months later she
attends the CFDA
Fashion Awards in
a custom dress cov-
ered in nothing but
Swarovski crystals.
take a bow
this year’s
rihanna
highlights
u Milo Moiré, a Swiss
performance artist,
appears at the Art
Basel convention
wearing only words. It
was the best thing we
read all year.
fine art
6. 131
for mature audiences only
u To celebrate its 18th anniversary, a Quebec
restaurant guide releases these sizzling ads as a
cheeky play on the 18+ adult-film rating.
square times
Imagine being on your knees at
your father’s funeral, beside his
casket—saying good-bye to him—
and then you have nine orgasms
right there While your whole
family is standing behind you.
—Dale Decker,
who suffers
from a con-
dition that
causes him
to have more
than 100
orgasms a day
u A Pornhub billboard
is removed from the
DoubleTree hotel in
Times Square after
prudish representatives
make a stink.
NATURE’S BEST
u Greenpeace activist Ana Paula Maciel is jailed
for trying to prevent a Russian oil company from
drilling in the Arctic. She later poses for playboy
Brazil to raise awareness and uses her royalties to
found a wildlife shelter. She has our attention.
Goods
Services
&
TaTa Top
Nudebeachwear:
$28
Sustain
Eco-friendly
condoms:
$6
Viagra Ice
Cream
One scoop:
$33
Boob
Booze
Japanese
latex-doll
drink
dispenser:
$5,000
Vincent
Gallo’s sperm
For sale on his
site: $1 million
Foria
Cannabis
lube: $44
Love Cloud
Mile-high club:
$799 for 45 minutes
“
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