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  • My Secret is that You are my Best Friend!!!
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  1. 1. SixBillionSecrets Slide Showby Niki Spade<br />
  2. 2. Friends<br />A Shoulder To Cry On<br />Are You Even There For Me?<br />Or Not<br />
  3. 3. I saw that my friend posted a secret about me here. Little does she know that it hurts when she says that I have a good life.Please, read my notebook of secrets, then you'd understand.<br />
  4. 4. All of you who post secrets saying you're there to talk to? It's a nice gesture, but don't. Because I'm like that. I'm the shoulder for all my friends. And although you might want to help everyone, one day you'll end up like me. Just as broken as them, but with no one to lean on.<br />
  5. 5. My friend drinks. She cuts herself. I wish with all my heart there was a way to make her stop. She has such a beautiful personality, and she means so much to me and my other friends. I'm afraid one day she'll make a terrible mistake. Michelle, I wish you knew how much I cared.<br />
  6. 6. I wish I had a best friend... A real best friend who would listen to all my problems, who I could call whenever I needed someone to talk to, who would love and stick with me despite all the problems we may face. That's all I really want right now. That's all I really need right now.<br />
  7. 7. I have friends. A lot of them actually, I have a couple I consider best friends. But sometimes, I feel like none of them want me around. I have depression, and honestly, I have no one I'm close enough with to tell. I want to tell someone. But I'm scared to tell them about my suicidal thoughts.<br />
  8. 8. My friends always talk to me about their secrets, confessions, and problems. I listen. Now it's my turn guys, I need you. Why can't you even PRETEND you care?<br />
  9. 9. I'm the good friend. I'm the shoulder to cry on, the secret keeper, and always the one to volunteer my help. So when my best friend complained that she couldn't find anyone to go to the concert with her, I died a little inside. Because she had forgotten to ask just one person. Me.<br />
  10. 10. I am sorry... For all those things I said. For all those things I did. For not saying what I should have said. For not doing what I should have done. I just want you to know that I constantly think about all those things and I regret everything I did. I just want you to know that I am sorry. <br />
  11. 11. When I read your journal, you apologized, watching me leave the room shaking.<br />You thought because it scared me.It scared me, but only because that journal was filled with the same thoughts that went through my head the night I almost killed myself.Please don't go. Let me help. I love you.<br />
  12. 12. My best friend just recently turned on me, and I don't know why.All I know is that he was the only reason I had the strength to keep going. Now it feels like I have nothing left to stop me... I'm not looking for the sympathy. I need help.<br />
  13. 13. You're my best friend.We have so many inside jokes. We laugh so hard together. I'm always here for you, and you always talk to me about anything. But how come, whenever I need a friend to talk to, or a body to hug, you're always the first one to shrug me away, giving me an emotionless "I'm sorry?"<br />
  14. 14. I am unable to get closer with my best friend.She tells me everything, and though she thinks so, she doesn't know me. The truth is, that I know what its like to lose a best friend. I'm so scared of being hurt that I'm treating you the way she treated me. I'm so sorry, I promise I'm going to change. <br />
  15. 15. You haven't even known him 6 months.We've been best friends for 4 years.So how come when I call you, bawling, you tell me you have to go because you're with him? I'm happy for you, but I need you.You're my best friend. Aren't you supposed to be there for me? <br />
  16. 16. When I told you I will go and see a psychologist, <br />you asked me if I were that wrong in the head and joked about me being suicidal.<br /> You were right. Our times as best friends are definitely over.<br /> And that makes me break down even more every day.<br />
  17. 17. I've always been there for you and you hurt me whenever I need you. I can't go on with you like this. I break down and cry over you every night and now I'm starting to delve into cutting. I need you now more than ever.<br />
  18. 18. I was always there when you needed someone<br /> A shoulder to cry on or someone to hang out with.<br /> But you left me right when I needed you the most,<br /> and I cry every night because of it<br />
  19. 19. I was a freshman girl last year, you were a senior girl.I was awkward and uncertain about high school and never felt that I fit in with the crowd.You not only talked to me, but walked with me everyday just to chat.You are the closest thing to an older sister I've ever had. Thank you so much.<br />
  20. 20. "You've changed." Those two words broke my heart. I'm so sorry.I'm sorry I'm not the best friend you remember. I wish everything would go back to normal, I really do.It hurts to lie to you. It hurts to see you hurt by my actions.I wish I could take it all back.<br />
  21. 21. When I read those stories about those girls who have that one best friend, I cry.I don't have a best friend I can tell anything.Some people want a man who appreciates them. I want one friend that I can TRUST.I have been hurt so many times, it's getting hard to trust anybody. <br />
  22. 22. I want a best friend.A person that I can tell everything...<br /> That doesn't judge me,<br /> That loves me no matter what. <br />
  23. 23. I wish friendships lasted forever, I wish what I did to you wasn't so cruel. I wish I could take that conversation and delete it from your mind, and I wish that we could be the same friends as we were before.Best friends. I miss you.'It only takes a second to tear down a bridge, but it takes a lifetime to build it back up.' <br />
  24. 24. Yesterday I told my friends that I cut.They lectured me and told me I needed to stop.Today I asked if they wanted to hang out, but all of them were busy.Now I just saw on facebook all of these pictures of them ice-skating today without me. And they wonder why I cut?<br />
  25. 25. We used to be best friends, now we barely talk.And yet you still noticed the things I was liking on my facebook.The sad depressing things and told me you were here for me.Thank you Emily thank you so much for seeing when I thought no one was watching and if this gets posted I will stop cutting and burning and get the help I need.<br />
  26. 26. Today in class, I did Current Events.One of my articles was about gay teens.You, my best friend, cried out, "Gays are wrong!" and booed.Annoyed, I yelled, "Oh yeah? Well I'm gay!" My secret is I'll always remember how embarrassed you looked, and I loved every moment of that look on your face. <br />
  27. 27. Last night my best friend told me I was the one that made her wanna wake up in the morning, she said I was the one that keeps her alive and keeps her fighting for life.I may be leaving for one year, and I'm scared.I'm scared that when I come back, she won't be here anymore.<br />
  28. 28. Ever read a secret and wonder what's it's like to be the other person? One of my best friends just confessed her love to me. She cuts and is somewhat suicidal. Were both girls. I'm straight.I'm sorry. <br />
  29. 29. My secret? I pretend everything is okay, that I'm not completely stressed out, that I don't need you anymore.Nothing could be farther from the truth.All I really want is my best friend back.It's too bad you aren't the friend I remember you being. <br />
  30. 30. Today you found the scars.I could see the fear in your eyes.Glad to know I'm such a freak that you were at a loss for words.You didn't help. I needed you and you just stared. You asked why but didn't want to know.You didn't even care enough to see through the shrugs. I thought you were my best friend who I could always depend on.Guess not. <br />
  31. 31. On Facebook, all I see are pictures of you and her plastered all over my homepage, pictures like the ones we used to take.What changed? now, you’re out with this new batch of friends, while I sit at home every weekend.I hope your happy that you ditched me, you have no idea how badly it hurts.<br />
  32. 32. I wish I was a normal teenager.I wish I didn't sit at home on the weekend and cry myself to sleep.I wish I had friends I could go out and party with, and have a good time.I feel like I'm missing out on my teenage year.<br />
  33. 33. Have you ever felt like you're someone's second option? Like a back up or second best? Well, I feel that way every day. I'm the second prettiest, the second funniest, the second best friend.I know I could have it worst, but just once.I want to know how it feels to be number one.<br />
  34. 34. Sometimes the best kind of friend isn't the one who sits there and listens to your problems; it's the one that makes you forget about them.Sometimes the best kind of friend is the one where you want to let loose and laugh about anything and everything.Thank you.Not because I told you all my problems. But because you made me laugh again. <br />
  35. 35. When you see a change in someone, maybe they didn't actually change.You just never saw who they really were.I learned it the hard way.<br />
  36. 36. Everything’s Good<br />I’m Over It<br />I’m Okay<br />LIES<br />I Don’t Need Help<br />Nothing’s Wrong<br />Behind the Smile<br />I’m Just Cold<br />I’m Fine<br />I’m Tired<br />
  37. 37. No, I am not okay. But no matter how many times you ask me, I am going to lie and tell you I am. And you believe me, every single time.I'm sick of pretending to be happy. I'm dying on the inside, and I don't know how much longer I can do this.<br />
  38. 38. I saw the scars on your wrists yesterday, when I asked about them you gave me a really bad excuse. Today you wore bracelets and long sleeves to hide your forearms. When I asked if you were ok you lied. You're my best friend. If you would tell me I would help you. I have the same problem. I'm here.<br />
  39. 39. Two years ago today, a 15-year-old girl died.<br /> She had the most incredible laugh. I wish I knew she was hiding behind that beautiful smile.<br /> I wish I could’ve helped her. Stopped her from ending her life.<br /> Never forget sometimes that happiest people are truly the saddest inside. RIP Rachel.<br />
  40. 40. Normally, when people ask me If I am alright, I will say yes, even though inside I'm about to break down. But when you asked me, I couldn't say I was alright, because I knew you sincerely cared.Thank you, otherwise I couldn't have made it through that night.<br />
  41. 41. When my eyes water, I tell you I was just yawning. I wish you could see behind that fake smile I wear every day. I wish you could see the truth instead of believing the lie.<br />
  42. 42. I'm cold, I'm tired, I'm fine.My secret? Those are lies.I'm not cold, I wear my jacket because I don't want look at the cuts on my arms. I'm not tired, I don't sleep because I don't want to face the nightmares of my past. I'm not fine.You're with me every day, why don't you pay attention?<br />
  43. 43. I’m the guy that gives everyone else advice and a shoulder to cry on.<br /> I hope one day someone sees behind my smile and asks me what’s wrong.<br />
  44. 44. Truth is, often the people who seem to be the happiest are the one's who are truly unhappy.<br />
  45. 45. I created a secret Facebook account that nobody else knows about.I post status updates screaming my thoughts, and things I wish I could say to my friends about them.Then eventually I go back to my regular Facebook account and pretend to be happy like I always do. <br />
  46. 46. I’m the girl who’s always laughing, who’s always smiling, always cheering up others.<br /> I give away my smiles and hugs to anyone I meet.<br /> When is someone going to realize that I need hugs and smiles as much as they do?<br />
  47. 47. Today, I realized the people that smile and laugh the most are the ones who are suffering the most. Because laughter isn't only the best medicine, it's also the best disguise. I should know, of all people.<br />
  48. 48. Today I asked everyone whether they think I'm happy.Everyone said yes.Now I don't know whether I should be happy because I can hide my feelings this well or I should be sad because no one notices the tears behind my smile. <br />
  49. 49. Our whole school is puzzled about the suicide of this one girl.We're confused because she was always hugging people and giving them compliments.But then we realized, we never returned the favor. <br />
  50. 50. I said to my best friend "I'm ridiculously good at faking smiles. It's why I haven't been sent to therapy yet." She laughed.She didn't realize that I wasn't joking.<br />
  51. 51. Gentle<br />Betrayed<br />Hopeless<br />Never<br />Lost<br />Soaring<br />Gender<br />Romantic<br />LOVE<br />No Bounds<br />Forgotten<br />Careful<br />Hopeful<br />Unconditional<br />Found<br />Forever<br />Heart-Broken<br />Happy<br />Rough<br />
  52. 52. I'll do anything to talk to you.Even if it means nothing to you, it means the world to me.<br />
  53. 53. I pretend I'm over you, that I don't love you. It almost works too, until I see your face or hear your voice. Then all I can think about is how beautiful you are and how I would give anything to spend the rest of my life with you. love her. And I'm just your best friend. <br />
  54. 54. Remember that day we saw two girls holding hands and kissing and you said "God that is gross. Gays should be shot." That really hurt me. Why? My brother was gay and shot for that reason alone. It also hurt because I'm lesbian.<br />
  55. 55. I am a pessimist, pretending to be an optimist, I am a selfish person, who acts selfless, I am a horrible friend, who seems like a great one, I am in love with you, but I act like I'm just you're friend, Because I'm worried if I show my true self, everything will fall apart. <br />
  56. 56. My girlfriend has shown me so much love.<br /> We’ve been dating for eight months and she’s been able to stop me from starving myself and cutting myself for three. <br />She makes me happier than anyone on the planet.<br /> But we have to hide our love every day because we are lesbians, and that is ‘wrong.’<br />
  57. 57. Every night on a piece of paper I write reasons to live and reasons to die.I tell myself if I can't think of any reasons to live I will kill myself.But every night I write one thing down...Your name. I'm terrified one day it won't be there. <br />
  58. 58. It kills me inside when you check out other girls.Even though I pretend to go along with it and laugh, it makes me feel like shit because I know I'll never look as pretty as they do, and I can never get your attention the way they can. I pretend to check out other boys to make you jealous, but truth is, I can never love anybody as much as you. <br />
  59. 59. My secret? I'm absolutely hopelessly in love with the shyest girl at my school.I don't care if she's quiet or awkward, or has braces.I think she's beautiful, and has the most beautiful eyes in the world.I don't care what the world thinks, I don't even care that I'm a girl too and that's 'wrong'. <br />
  60. 60. I tell my friends that the reason I hate songs like "Just The Way You Are" is because they're cheesy.The real reason I hate them is because I know no guy will ever like a bipolar girl who cuts herself "just the way she is".I know I will ever be loved the way I am.<br />
  61. 61. I hate the world.It created love stories, songs and movies. The world made my expectations impossibly high, and now I'm afraid I'll never fall in love. Not story, song or movie love - REAL love.<br />
  62. 62. She was my best friend.She listened, shared, loved, held, cried and laughed with me.When she called to say that I hurt her and we were over, I cried for months.When she asked to start over, I said I was ok with our fight.I lied. My secret? I was in love with her. She thinks I'm straight. I'm not. <br />
  63. 63. I hate the fact that I sit here, watching my friends falling in and out of love, having to act happy for them.I hate the feeling of being trapped, unloved , alone and broken.Can't you guys at least care? <br />
  64. 64. My friends always gossip about boys.I try to join in and pretend I'm interested.But I've never had a boyfriend.I've never even kissed before! I'll never tell them why, though.I am sorry guys.But coming out as lesbian to you would be the hardest thing I could ever do.So I can't tell you. Ever. I'm sorry.<br />
  65. 65. Today you looked me straight in the eyes and asked if I was okay.I smiled and said I was fine, but you gave me a hug anyways and said I can always trust you.For the next three hours I spilled my heart out to sat there and listened.Thank you so much. I love you.<br />
  66. 66. I asked my best friend how she would react if I told her I was bi and had a crush on her, and she said she would still be my friend but she would never feel the same way.When she asked if I was serious, I scoffed and told her of course not.That really hurt, because I think I just might be.<br />
  67. 67. Think about this. The person you are going to marry is walking the Earth at this very second. That thought alone should give you hope to continue each and every day, knowing someone, somewhere is completely in love with you, even if you both don't know it yet. <br />
  68. 68. I'm the perfect guy.I hold doors open, Text girls until they fall asleep, never leave a girl/guy behind, say ladies first, protect my girls, Tell people they are beautiful, stand up for people, give a shoulder, never make any prejudice jokes, give up my seat for girls, ect.I'm a girl. You guys need to do better.<br />
  69. 69. Do you know how bad it hurts when I walk past you in the hallways and you act like I'm nothing? How I told you how I felt and you just blew it off? It hurts badly. No one understands why it does, but I do. And I know you do too. Was it so hard for you just to say "I don't love you."?<br />
  70. 70. I'm a lesbian, and I'm proud of it.I walk the halls at school holding the hand of another girl and I wear a ridiculous smile on my face.Nobody in the world makes me happier than she does. <br />
  71. 71. I wish you would just tell me you feel the same way. This boy knows I like him. He hasn't said anything to me. He looks at me all the time. Sometimes I just wish he would tell me if he does or doesn't. Boys out there: tell her you like her, she won't wait forever.<br />
  72. 72. Everyone thinks I like my best guy friend, but I disagree.They think that I'm afraid that he doesn't feel the same way, scared of ruining our friendship or worried that people will tease me for having an "ugly boyfriend." That's not it.Secretly, I think I'm in love with him. But I'm scared to admit it.<br />
  73. 73. You’re a girl, I'm a girl.You don't like girls. Right? That's why you kiss me, and lay with me. But you don't like me. No, no. You could never like a girl.But you kiss me, you let me fall for you, you let me love you. Am I crazy? Of course. I must be.You don't like girls. Who am I kidding?<br />
  74. 74. All these songs remind me of you.The old you. All I want is for you to get out of my head. <br />
  75. 75. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a while now.I hold her hand in school, wake her up with sweet text messages, draw her flowers, and call her beautiful every single day.She tells me every day how happy she is with me.Her parents hate me. Simply because I'm a girl.How is that fair?<br />
  76. 76. I'm a 16 year old girl who has never been in a relationship.I don't know if I am gay straight bi or whatever.I just know that I want to be loved.Plain and simple. <br />
  77. 77. About four months ago, I told you I loved you and we've never been closer since. You were there for me when my mother hit me and my sister. You were there for me when I was about to kill myself. You were there for me for six years. You were there for me even when you were half way across the world, Thank you.<br />
  78. 78. I'm tired of the being the gay girl.I'm really tired of falling in love and not having the feeling returned.I'm sick and tired of feeling alone.Why can't I just find someone? I can't believe I fell for the straight girl again.<br />
  79. 79. You don't know how much it means to me when you tell me I'm beautiful or that you love me. It's been three years and I still smile like an idiot when I see you. <br />
  80. 80. You are an amazing girlfriend.But I never tell you about how scared I get when we go out in public and act lovey.I have bad paranoia, and with the world we live in, I'm afraid one day we're going to get shot for being two girls in love.But I'd take that bullet for you. I love you.<br />
  81. 81. I cried myself to sleep last night. I cry myself to sleep every night. Because the empty space on the bed next to me is where you would be if you hadn't gotten hit by that car a month ago. I miss you, Melissa. And I'll love you forever.<br />
  82. 82. I said no when you asked me out.Not because I don't like you that way.It's because we're both girls and I'm afraid of what people would say.The truth is I love you.I love your confidence, your beauty, your devil-may-care attitude.I love you so much it hurts, but I can't say yes, I'm sorry. <br />
  83. 83. I'm 17 years old, getting ready to head off to college and I have never been kissed. Honestly, I'm okay with it because unlike everyone else who laughs when they remember their first kiss...I know mine will be something special. :) <br />
  84. 84. DEPRESSION<br />Mental Disorders<br />Eating Issues / Self Image<br />Rape<br />Self - Injury<br />
  85. 85. Every time my little sister goes on this website, she talks about how sad some of the secrets are, and how sad it is that people self harm. What she doesn't know is that her big sister cuts herself and cries herself to sleep every night.No one ever notices.<br />
  86. 86. My friend watches gossip girl. She's been losing a lot of weight lately, because she wants to look skinny like the characters.Her favorite is bulimic, and now she is too. it's disgusting. I want to direct films one day, because I never want teens to think bulimia is glamorous or normal.<br />
  87. 87. I was standing in the bathroom, looking at my reflection in the mirror for what I knew would be the last time. I had a bottle of pills in my hand.As I'm unscrewing the cap, the phone rings. It's my best friend. She says nothing more than, "I can't live without you."She'll never have to.<br />
  88. 88. Every day, people jokingly check my wrists because they think I'm "emo". None of them have bothered to check my legs.<br />
  89. 89. People always say how skinny I am. Truth is, I feel horrible because I eat so much, and I don't gain any weight. All while so many girls try so hard to lose a few pounds. To all you "bigger" girls: you're beautiful just the way you are. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. <br />
  90. 90. I was always so depressed and I was cutting myself. I finally realized that all I thought about was me and it blinded me from other people hurting. I'm gonna forget my pain and help someone else for once.<br />
  91. 91. When I was 9 I was raped by my cousin. I never told anyone until I was 15.To this day, I'm filled with rage inside. I always ask myself why me? I hate him, and am so angry I feel like I could murder him for taking something so precious, and innocent. I pray for the strength to get over this, but its hard. <br />
  92. 92. I love sleep. Because life has the tendency to fall apart while I'm awake. <br />
  93. 93. Today, I decided to start a new story.This story will be about depression, impossible love, abuse, and other things people have written about here.I'm going to finish this one. I hope someone will see my story in it.<br />
  94. 94. My last boyfriend broke up with me because it was too much for him to bear that I was raped and molested by two different guys.He was the first person I told the whole story too. I think from now on I'm going to lie and say it never happened. I hate being reminded I'm nothing but damaged goods. <br />
  95. 95. Everyone makes fun of depression, cutting, and suicide.<br /> They don’t realize that each and every day, you can make someone feel that much worse about themselves and that much closer to suicide.<br />
  96. 96. I have been contemplating suicide.No, not because I'm bullied. But because I have an eating disorder, depression, a drunk mom, bad grades, and selfish siblings.That's not even what hurts the most. It's the fact that my best friend doesn't even notice the change in me.Nobody does. I'm not okay.<br />
  97. 97. I finally saw a psychiatrist the other day.I didn't think I would ever make it.After I had to talk two of my friends out of killing themselves, I thought I was going to be the next one.It's not going to happen overnight, but I'm finally getting my life back.<br />
  98. 98. I don't remember my childhood. I can't even remember anything.The earliest I can remember is my 8th grade year. Nothing before that. I have repressed my memories because I don't want to remember the terror, horror, and abuse my mother put me through. <br />
  99. 99. You wanna know what's really hard? Living in a town where people joke about "emos" and cutters. Its so hard when you talk about the boy in town and call him crazy because he cut. He's not crazy. He's coping with pain. I'm not crazy either. I love you guys, but don't joke about things you don't get. <br />
  100. 100. My secret.I'm terrified. Terrified of failing at life, not succeeding and disappointing the people who rely on me.Terrified that I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone because everyone eventually leaves.I'm so, so scared. <br />
  101. 101. Dear Dean of Students: I know you didn't know this, but a couple of days before you suspended me for having mental health problems... I was RAPED.<br />
  102. 102. Today, we watched a video about teenage depression and suicide in health.No one was taking it seriously.Everyone pulled out books, homework, the girl next to me was listening to her iPod.I used to struggle with depression and suicide. I'm glad that I've been warned that no one will care if it happens again.<br />
  103. 103. As I drove across a bridge today,<br /> I suddenly thought about how easy it would be to just drive right over the side<br /> I didn't realize how much I didn't want to live<br /> Until today...<br />
  104. 104. My mom didn't believe me when I told her I thought I was schizophrenic like my father. Today, 19 years old and no longer talking to my mother, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. They said it wouldn't have been as bad as it is if I had gotten medication earlier.<br />
  105. 105. I have no reason to be unhappy.My life is great.But I'm miserable.I can't find a reason to live.<br />All I want is to be happy again.I want to feel like living again. <br />
  106. 106. Sometimes, when I cross the street, I think about slowing down in the middle of the road and letting a car take me down.I'd never do it. I know it would hurt people.I just don't know to stop feeling so trapped.<br />
  107. 107. I miss who I was.I miss the girl who laughed. I missed the girl who looked at the upside of everything.I missed the girl who was happy, and innocent, and free.I miss the girl who would look in the mirror and not find every flaw.I miss the girl who didn't let other's words bother her. I miss who I was. I hate who I am. <br />
  108. 108. You think I like being like this? You think I do it on purpose so I get asked "What's wrong?" ten times a day? No. I'm just sick and tired of trying to be happy all the time.I can't even fake it anymore.<br />
  109. 109. When my best friend and her parents fight, she texts me asking if she can live with me.Every time, I say yes. Today, she showed up at my doorstep with a black eye and her backpack.She asked if she could live with me. I'll always say yes. <br />
  110. 110. I can't wait to go to bed every night.Because, in my dreams, I fall in love. I have friends. I smile.I wish I could go to sleep forever.<br />
  111. 111. I am a straight A student who never talks back and does what she is told.My secret? You really shouldn't trust me with sharp objects.I always find a way to hurt myself.<br />
  112. 112. You found my scars, and then showed me yours.You told me I wasn't alone.Thank you.<br />
  113. 113. My secret is, that I'm dead.I still walk around, laugh, and am happy. I have every reason to be the happiest girl in the world.But somehow, I still feel dead.I still have suicidal thoughts. And I can't fix it.<br />
  114. 114. My favorite part of the day is when I first wake up, because for those first 5 seconds, I don't remember a thing.Then after, life just hits me like a ton of bricks. <br />
  115. 115. This morning at the doctors office, they asked me if I could take off my sweatshirt for a blood pressure test.When I took it off, the nurse and my mom gasped, as they saw the cuts all around my arms.I'm so sorry. <br />
  116. 116. I wish I were little again, where looks didn't matter, and neither did differences. Back when we didn't judge others for what they wear, how they look, or how they act. I just want to be little again, and barely know what the word "ugly" means. I don't understand why we have to grow up and forget who we were when we were younger.<br />
  117. 117. I can’t believe you would say that.<br /> As I sat there with her, and you yelled “emo” in the lunch room. You told her she should go die, go cut herself, that she was stupid and a poser.<br /> You heartless bastards. I forgave you for doing it to me. I had to come save her. I was almost too late.<br /> I will NEVER forgive you for doing that to her.<br />
  118. 118. Every time I get behind the wheel of my car, I want to end up critically injured in the hospital.Just to see who actually cares.<br />
  119. 119. Many people have told I'm being "anti-social" recently.Truth is, I'm not.I just don't feel like acting happy anymore.I don't want to crack a joke, just so I seem like my "normal" self.I'm nothing like that once you get me home.Sorry for publicly displaying my depression. My fault, again.<br />
  120. 120. I hate people who use gay and retard as insults to offend others.Guys, before you do it, just think about how it's not fair to them.As if they don't have it hard enough. <br />
  121. 121. Everyone says when I get my license, I'll be a terrible driver.I laugh and agree.My secret? I'm planning on using that to my advantage.After all, if I died in a car accident, everyone will most likely think it's just that, an accident.Not suicide.<br />
  122. 122. When we went swimming, my boardshorts rode up and you saw the scars.You weren't shocked, or repulsed. You hugged me and cried.Those 3 words you said to me that night changed my life."I need you."<br />
  123. 123. Every night before I take a shower I write all my secrets all over my arm in washable marker.I like watching all my problems go down the drain.It makes me hope that maybe one day they really will.<br />
  124. 124. I want to die.But I don't want to take my own life.If I had my way I would trade my life for someone who wanted to live, but can't.For someone who deserves to live.Because taking my life would be too selfish.So I'll just keep dying inside instead.<br />
  125. 125. Being a Psych major, my friend asked me about depression, about what causes it and its symptoms.I answered all her questions.She said I was really smart, and thanked me.Little did she know I was speaking from experience.<br />
  126. 126. Parents’<br />
  127. 127. Ever since I told my parents I was suicidal, they don't look at me the same.You always look at me as if that night had repeated; as if you were hearing it all again.I find it sad that I must be caught in the act in order for you to realize something's up.Open your eyes, Mom and Dad. I cut. <br />
  128. 128. After years of holding it in, I blew up.I started sobbing, and I told you everything. How much my life sucks, my family hating me, having the crappiest friends ever, and teachers screwing up my straight A's.You said I was overreacting and should see a psychiatrist.Thanks Mom. <br />
  129. 129. My mom and I were talking about the recent rumors about Demi Lovato's supposed cutting and eating disorder.My mom said "How could her mother not know she was doing that?" Well. I've been doing that for that past year, how could you not know? <br />
  130. 130. I posted song lyrics all over my door and carved them into my desk. I hoped someone would pay attention to them, and how MAYBE even that they were a cry for help. All my parents see is flaws. And that I'm the cause of the divorce. Sorry you refuse to help with severe depression, my "fake" illness.<br />
  131. 131. You never appreciate what I do. I try to do all the chores before you get home from work so you would be nicer, but all you do is yell, hit, and ground me. I really want to end my life. I have had enough. Mom and dad, when will you see that I'm dying inside?<br />
  132. 132. Last night we were watching a movie and it had two lesbians kissing.You screamed in outrage saying that was so wrong and disgusting and that people like that were sinners.I'm bi, and you know that.Thanks mom, I'm just a little bit closer to finding that gun I know you have.<br />
  133. 133. Mom and dad, I wish you would realize how much pain I'm in and that I need help. I'm too proud to actually ask for it.The only reason you know I've cut is because I had to tell you before the doctor found it.You believe that that was the only time. You're so wrong and I'm so scared. <br />
  134. 134. What's stopping me from killing myself? The thought of my mum crying, breaking down into tears. I know she's weak, after my Dad passed away, I saw how weak she is.I can't put her through that, but what happens when I can no longer hold on.I can't break my Mum's heart, but my heart is already dead. <br />
  135. 135. Will they listen?<br />Should I tell anyone?<br />Will I ever be okay?<br />I never let people in.<br />Will they ask?<br />Will they understand?<br />Why bother?<br />I don’t want to get hurt again.<br />Why don’t they notice.<br />Would they care?<br />I need a friend.<br />I need a shoulder to cry on.<br />I don’t even know who I am anymore.<br />Please ask if I’m okay.<br />Would you ever know?<br />They don’t even know me.<br />Do they even want to know?<br />Don’t get too close.<br />Just Lie.<br />Just Listen<br />They don’t care.<br />Why would they care?<br />Will they leave me?<br />I can’t take being alone.<br />Will they ever know the real me?<br />I need someone to listen.<br />Why should I let people in.<br />They have their own problems.<br />I wish they cared enough.<br />My secrets are forever hidden.<br />They’ll never know.<br />I have problems too.<br />I wish they knew.<br />Would they still like me?<br />I need help.<br />They would never know.<br />I’m not okay.<br />We’re not that close anymore.<br />There’s no hope for me.<br />They’ll never know.<br />They don’t know the true me.<br />Just Listen.<br />
  136. 136. Whenever I have problems, I don't tell anyone.I don't think they'll understand and I'm afraid they won't care.<br />
  137. 137. Everyone cares about everyone else's problems, but mine.There's no hope for me.I'm nothing, nobody, and I understand that.I just wish you could know how much I hurt every day, how much I just need someone to care.But I guess that's too much to ask. <br />
  138. 138. I wish someone cared enough about me to reach out and help me and hold me on my worst days and tell me I mean something to them.<br />
  139. 139. Truth is, I never let people in.I only tell them about half of what I'm feeling or thinking.No one knows the true me, nor would they want to.I wish just once one person would try harder, everything would change then. <br />
  140. 140. Sometimes, I read secrets on here and pretend that some are about me.But I know you don't care enough to have a second thought on it.Thanks. <br />
  141. 141. I write my secrets on pieces of paper, fold them into origami swans, and give them to my friends.Nobody ever opens origami swans.<br />
  142. 142. I may not have as bad of problems of other people, but I hurt all the same.I need someone to think of me first, for once. I need someone to ask if I'm okay.I need someone just to listen. I just need someone to care.<br />
  143. 143. I have trouble letting myself get close to others.Why? because it scares me. I'm afraid that if they knew the real me everything would change.That they would treat me differently or leave. I'm going to be alone forever.<br />
  144. 144. You want to know what I wish we'd do at school? I wish, we would all get into a big group and write our secrets on paper, crumble them up, and toss them around in the dark. Then we'd all unfold a random paper from the floor and read the secrets.I hope you get my paper. I hope you know how badly you've destroyed me.<br />
  145. 145. I told you guys I had something to tell you but it wasn't easy.You two made several guesses but when you said, "What? Do you like cut yourself?" and laughed you didn't notice me flinch.You didn't notice me tugging done my sleeve. I said its nothing and we moved on. I continued.<br />
  146. 146. I'm not just listening to music on the bus home.I'm wondering what it would be like if everyone knew.What if everyone knew about my depression, suicidal thoughts, and eating disorder? Would they help me, or would they run away? Would they tease me? I don't know.But would anyone even care?<br />
  147. 147. I am the girl with a smile on my face.Who will laugh at all jokes very loudly.I am the "nice" girl on our group who welcomes all.I am also the girl who was hospitalized for trying to kill herself.I am the girl who hurts herself EVERY DAY.I am the girl you all really don't know.. or try to know. <br />
  148. 148. People wonder why I don't talk about what's bothering me. What's the reason? Because whenever I try and talk, there's always someone there to point out that their life is worse. My problem doesn't matter. The conversation always gets to the other person in the end.Can't someone just listen? Just once?<br />
  149. 149.
  150. 150. Tomorrow I'm donating blood.Not because everybody else is doing it, or because I want to. Because I can save lives this way. Other people need it more than I do, I have no significance in this world. I want somebody to live, because of me. <br />
  151. 151. Last week, a girl in my school was hospitalized for having suicidal thoughts.I've been in her place before.Today, I messaged her on Facebook, assuming my message would be one of many. Apparently I was the only one.I honestly have never felt better about myself.<br />
  152. 152. I'm depressed and some days I don't think I can go on.<br />But I always get a hug from this girl on my soccer team and it reminds me that at least one person cares.<br /> If you read this, I want you to know that you're awesome and you do so much more than you'll ever know!<br />
  153. 153. Everyone has problems.Everyone wants to talk about them. So, if someone is helping you out, do the same.Because if you don't, they might go to bed crying, cutting, or dying. You never know.<br />
  154. 154. I received a text one day, seconds before I was going to jump off the bridge onto the freeway below.All it said was hello, but it stopped me from killing myself. Why? It was the first text I'd received from anyone in months.Don't be afraid to say hello to people. It can save a life.<br />
  155. 155. Everyone talks and jokes about how Demi Lovato is going to rehab because of cutting herself.They talk about how she is such a bad role model.But you know what? I wish I was strong enough to get help like she did.<br />
  156. 156. I've said it before but I will say it again.THINK.The words you say can have the power to end someone's life.The expression you give them can make them bleed.The things you do or the things you don't do can really HURT people.Words kill. <br />
  157. 157. I'm going to take my camera, photograph the people who thought about suicide, physically harmed themselves, had hard lives, or just don't feel pretty.I'm going to take their stories and their picture and create a book called, "Beautiful People." I hope it will give people hope. Everyone deserves to live and know that they are loved.<br />
  158. 158. When I stand up for homosexuals, somebody always has to question my sexuality.I'm straight. Is it so wrong to stand up for someone? Not because you're like them, but just because you care? Yeah, I guess so.Screw society. I'm done with all the hate.<br />
  159. 159. Want to know a secret?You are beautiful. Black, white, gay, straight, bisexual. Whether you are smart or quiet or impossibly in love with your best friend, someone out there cherishes your smile and gets butterflies when you walk into a room. Someone out there can't stop thinking about you. You Are Beautiful. Don't ever believe differently. <br />
  160. 160. I want to change lives.I want to make people feel beautiful. Why? Because I know how it feels to be broken or unloved. I want everyone to know they have a shoulder to lean or cry on. I want to always be there.<br />