1 One writer spent nine hundred hours over the course of eight years watching the action in singles bars and learning about male-female relationships. 2 Although men think of themselves as the aggressors, says this writer, it is really the women who make the decisions when a courtship is beginning. 3 He has observed that women are the ones who pick a potential mate out of the crowd. 4 They position themselves near the man they have selected and, with a glance or a smile, invite him to make contact. 5 Similarly as conversation begins, the woman initiates each increasingly intimate stage. 6 Her continuing eye contact, moving closer, and touching the man all signal her permission for him to make further advances. 7 In most cases, the woman’s signals are so subtle that the man is only subconsciously aware of them .