Two families faced life-threatening kidney failures and found salvation through living organ donations from loved ones. Joan donated a kidney to her husband Barry, whose genetic kidney disease would have taken his life like his father. Sharon donated a kidney to her brother Rob, whose failing kidneys and cancer gave him just six months to live otherwise. Both donations were incredibly successful matches, with Barry and Rob experiencing full recoveries and renewed lives thanks to the selfless gifts of life from Joan and Sharon.

1. May 2008 SUBURBAN ESSEX MAGAZINE 15
J
oan Scoville watched her “Paul Bunyan” husband, as she affectionate-
ly called Barry, walk through the door with slumped shoulders and
then head straight to bed. It hurt to recall the days when Barry would
come home full of energy, laughing and eager for the evening’s plans.
Now a silent killer was stealing a little more of Joan’s husband each
day. He had polycystic kidneys, the genetic disease that had taken his
father’s life. Barry never complained, but neither could he work in his
Basking Ridge backyard anymore nor toss his grandkids in the air. And
one morning as Joan watched Barry struggle to get out of bed, she made
a decision.
“I can live without my kidney, but not without my heart,” she would
soon tell a transplant coordinator. “I’m giving Barry my kidney.”
Not far away, another family was facing a similar crisis.
Rob Murray, who grew up with five siblings in Upper Montclair,
had consulted a doctor about a backache, only to discover his kidneys
were failing. As he began dialysis, tests revealed something even more ter-
rifying: he had Stage IV multiple myeloma, an aggressive cancer that kills
90 percent of its victims. Rob was given six months to live.
A grueling stem cell and bone marrow transplant put Rob into re-
mission from cancer. And dialysis did the work of his failing kidney. In
time, however, it wouldn’t be enough, and Rob’s name was added to the
transplant list—with an eight-year wait.
When word reached Rob’s sister Sharon, she worried that she still
Transplant donors offer the ultimate gift: life
continued on page 16
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By Naomi Kenan,
photos by Dan Epstein
Sharon Murray
and her brother,
Robert.

2. 16 SUBURBAN ESSEX MAGAZINE May 2008
hadn’t gotten her test results. Yet suddenly it didn’t
matter. She knew what she was going to do.
“I called Rob in Florham Park [where he now
lives] and told him I’d made a decision,” Sharon re-
calls. “I said, `I’m giving you one of my kidneys.’”
A Last Hope for Thousands
O
rgan transplant operations aren’t new,
but as waiting lists grow longer—and
patients die waiting—living donors like
Sharon and Joan have become the last hope to
thousands of people who are running out of time.
“Every person who steps forward to donate an
organ is truly a hero,” says Diane Meehan, RN, the
living donor coordinator at St. Barnabas Medical
Center in Livingston. They are risking their health,
possibly even their lives, to save someone else.
“Kidney transplants double a person’s
lifespan,” asserts Dr. Shakant Mulgaonkar, Chief
of the Transplant Division at St. Barnabas. Still,
the surgery is complicated, the recovery is painful,
and there is always the chance that the donor’s re-
maining kidney will one day fail. “Donors are the
ones who are taking a loss,” explains Debbe Hop-
kins, MSW, St. Barnabas’ transplant social worker.
That’s why St. Barnabas’ transplant team—Diane,
Debbe and Dr. Mulgaonkar—does everything
possible to ease the process.
Cathy Black, a Livingston resident and Sha-
ron and Rob’s sister, felt deeply comforted by the
team, which answered all the family’s questions,
gave both reassurance and hard, cold facts, and
were always available. “They were so kind,” Cathy
notes. “I don’t see how we could have gone through
this without them.”
Nothing could have stopped Sharon or Joan
anyway. “Barry and I love each other and that’s all
there is to it,” Joan asserts. “Besides, I’m Irish and
I’m stubborn. Once I make up my mind, well,
don’t even go there.”
There was a catch, however. Because Joan and
Barry are not blood relatives, they had a mere 1 in
20 chance for a successful match. But tests showed
their match wasn’t just close. It was so close, in fact,
that the odds of Barry finding a donor as compat-
ible as Joan were 1 in 20 million.
“You thought you married a woman who’s 1
in a million,” Dr. Mulgaonkar joked. “Turns out
she’s 1 in 20 million.”
Rob’s Living Angel
D
octors had rarely seen a match as perfect
as Sharon and Rob’s, either. Rob was
worried about his sister, though. His fears
were silenced only after Sharon asked their dad
whether he thought their mom, who had passed
away three years earlier, would have approved of
the transplant.
“Sharon,” she remembers their father reply-
ing, “your mother’s up in heaven orchestrating this
whole thing.”
It didn’t seem far-fetched, considering the
“coincidences” that had spared Rob’s life until this
point. His kidney failure had been diagnosed only
because of a backache. And his cancer was discov-
ered only through the tests on his kidneys.
The unspoken words hung in the air. If Rob’s
kidneys hadn’t failed, his cancer might have gone
on, undetected, until it killed him. “I asked God,
if You do nothing else, let me see my son graduate
from college,” Rob says.
Rob’s prayer was answered: though weak, he
was there to watch Ryan graduate.
Now Rob needed a new kidney or his time
might run out after all. His family stayed close,
supporting him with loving care every step of the
way. When the hospital called a meeting, every
member of the large family joined in.
“It’s heartwarming and satisfying to see a
family give so much support,” Dr. Mulgaonkar
says. “Rob, Sharon and their family were truly
wonderful people.”
Adds Rob: “My family’s love kept me
determined to stay alive. That kind of love is what
we’re here for.”
Meanwhile, as the transplant date neared,
Sharon had no doubts about her part, noting
that the rest of her family had children and other
The Miracle of Lovecontinued from page 15
Joan Scoville and
her husband, Barry.

3. May 2008 SUBURBAN ESSEX MAGAZINE 17
Want to Know
More About
Donation?
Nearly 100,000 Americans currently
need an organ—and many of them will
die before a transplant becomes possible.
Sharon, Rob, Joan and Barry all told their
stories because they hoped that others
would be inspired to consider giving some-
one a second chance at life. Stories like
theirs—many of which appear in the book
The Gift that Heals by Roy Green—have
persuaded thousands to research dona-
tion, according to the Organ Procurement
and Transplantation Network (OPTN).
Yet the demand still far outpaces the
numbers of organs available. At St. Barn-
abas Medical Center in Livingston, the
waiting list for a living donor kidney has
increased 35 percent since 2005, accord-
ing to Diane Meehan, RN, the hospital’s
living donor coordinator. How great is the
need for donors? The statistics, from the
United Network of Organ Sharing, speak
for themselves:
• As of mid-April, 98,729 Americans
were waiting for transplants.
• In New Jersey, more than 3,000 are
currently on waiting lists.
• Living donors like Sharon and Joan
account for a growing number of
successful transplants: out of 28,354
transplants done in the U.S. in 2007,
14,395—almost half—were possible
because of the gift of a living donor.
Because of misconceptions, donor
groups say they want people to know
that:
• All major religions approve of organ
donation.
• Even if you have signed a donor list or
noted it on your driver’s license, your
family will be consulted before dona-
tion can take place, so be sure they
know your wishes.
• There is no cost to donors or their
families.
To find out more, log on to: www.organ-
donor.gov, www.donatelife.net, www.unos.
og, www.transplantliving.org, www.mar-
row.org, or call 1-800-355-SHARE (7427).
obligations. “I didn’t think it was such a big deal,” she
insists. In fact, she was so humble that most of her
co-workers at the postal office didn’t know until they
read it in the newspaper.
On the morning of the transplant, Rob and Sha-
ron saw each other through the glass pane separat-
ing their rooms. “I mouthed, `Rob, are you ready?’”
Sharon recalls. “He just gave me the thumbs up.”
After the surgery, Rob was wheeled into Sha-
ron’s room, where he cried and thanked her. “I told
him, `Just do what you’re supposed to do,’” Sharon
says. “Just live.”
That’s exactly what Rob has done. Since the
transplant, he has celebrated Easter with his family,
soaked up the sun on a Caribbean cruise and begun
thinking of a new business venture. “Sharon is a
giving, loving, caring person,” he says today. “She’s
always proven that to us, but now she’s proven it to
the world. Sharon is a living angel.”
Sharon says she’d do it again in a heartbeat. “I
feel like I gave birth,” she says. “To have the chance
to save someone’s life, to see my brother so alive, it’s
an unbelievable joy.” She adds that it reminds her of
times she would look up at the sky and wonder she
why was here. “Now I have an answer. This was part
of my purpose.”
A Match Made in Heaven
F
or Joan, the hardest part was on Father’s Day
of 2006, when the couple told their three
grown children that Joan was donating her
kidney to Barry, just in time. To Heather, Barry Jr.,
and Shane, their father was a saint, a hero of a man
who never let them down. But they couldn’t save him
in return—they were at risk of developing the same
genetic disease.
So when Joan told them of their mind-boggling
match, they knew their mother was making the only
choice she could. By this point, Barry’s kidneys were
functioning at a mere 10 percent.
On dialysis, he attended Barry Jr.’s wedding
that fall. But he was exhausted, his complexion a
sickly yellow-gray. And on March 9, 2007, Barry’s
57th birthday, the hospital called: it was time for
the transplant.
Four days before the surgery, the hospital
arranged a family meeting, Joan recalls, where the
surgeon, Dr. Stuart R. Geffner, explained every de-
tail. “You do not have to worry about your parents,”
he reassured the children. With the tension eased,
Shane, the youngest, asked one last question. “Can
my dad drink beer afterwards?” To which Dr. Geffner
answered with a smile: “Yes… in moderation.”
In a joint program with The Liberty Science
Center and St. Barnabas, Joan and Barry agreed to
allow high school students to observe the transplant,
without knowing the names of the patients.
On surgery day, Barry Jr. leaned his 6-foot,
3-inch body over his mom, and, weeping openly,
thanked her for what she was about to do. Joan
remembers a doctor in the room echoing her son’s
sentiment: “Joan, you are giving your husband the
greatest gift anyone can give,” the doctor said. “You
are giving life. You’re an angel.”
Although Barry had complications for a few
months post-surgery, today he’s Paul Bunyan again,
out in the yard hoisting huge branches after a recent
windstorm sliced one of their trees in half.
A month ago, Barry and Joan attended Shane’s
wedding. This time, Barry’s complexion was rosy, and
he danced all night along. “There he was, just like he
used to be,” Joan says. “He was back to himself. It
was all I ever wanted.”
Dr. Mulgaonkar told Barry his kidney should
last at least 30 years, Barry says. “Then he told me,
`Now go and enjoy your life!’”
Like Rob, Barry is following those orders. He’s
planning a retirement home in the Carolinas and
relishes every day with his “soul mate,” the woman
who saved his life. With the one-year anniver-
sary of his transplant approaching, Barry is feeling
especially grateful.
“I’m a walking miracle,” he says. “I consider
myself the luckiest person in the world.” s
The transplant team, from
left: Diane Meehan, RN,
Dr. Shakant Mulgaonkar,
and Debbe Hopkins, MWS,
of St. Barnabas Medical
Center.