How to deal with the grieving process


Published on The grieving process can take a very long time, with fresh feelings of sorrow welling up on special days such as birthdays. Some ways of helping you through this process include finding a modern equivalent of going into mourning for a year Victorian-style (full gothic rig isn’t necessary), journaling, scrapbooking, reading works of literature to put your sorrow into words and taking steps to resolve problems of unforgiveness. Expressing emotion physically is also important and cathartic.

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How to deal with the grieving process

  1. 1. How to deal with the
  2. 2. Journaling is a great way to helpyou through the grief process.
  3. 3. Get all your emotions down onpaper, especially if you havetrouble expressing themphysically.
  4. 4. The author C.S. Lewis chronicledhis experiences when he lost hiswife – all the raw sorrow andloneliness, the happy memories, thequestions, musings on the afterlife,his fears that he would forget whatthe real woman he had loved waslike in favour of holding onto anidealised image of her and more.
  5. 5. This journal was published as AGrief Observed, and you mightfind it healing to read throughthis and know that you are notthe only person to have walkedthis road or to have experiencedthe emotional rollercoaster ofbereavement.
  6. 6. You might also like to tryjournaling your experiences,although there’s no need tomake the results public.
  7. 7. If you don’t feel that you aregood enough with the pen orwith the computer keyboard toget all your feelings down onpaper, you might like to try whata counsellor suggested to a childthat this writer knows when thechild lost her father.
  8. 8. The suggestion was to make ascrapbook of memories andpictures about the person youhave lost, putting as much effortinto it as you can. The process ofworking on it is oftentherapeutic.
  9. 9. You could also try reading someof the great literature written byothers going through thegrieving process as a way ofgiving words to your ownsorrow.
  10. 10. In Memoriam, the long poemsequence by Tennyson, or someof the Psalms in the Bible offerexpressions of a range ofemotions that you might like toread to put your feelings intowords. Read them aloud if youlike.
  11. 11. One of the situations where itcan be hardest to come throughthe grieving process is whenthere are unresolved issues.
  12. 12. Perhaps you had hurt the otherperson and you never had achance to say sorry. Or perhapsit was the other way around, andthe other person had never saidsorry to you for hurting you.
  13. 13. hese unresolved issues can stilllinger and cause problems evenif the person who you lost wasvery unpleasant and you foundyourself thinking “goodriddance” now and then.
  14. 14. These unresolved issues can alsoload you down with guilt as wellas grief.
  15. 15. One thing that people haveoften found quite good forresolving these issues and forsetting them behind is to write aletter to the deceased person.
  16. 16. In this letter, you can either askfor forgiveness for what you did,or you could express yourforgiveness for what they did toyou.
  17. 17. Then read this letter aloud tothe person – maybe at thegraveside when you’re alone orto a photo.
  18. 18. After this, burn the letter (youmay have to find a safe place todo this in the height of the dryseason, or else destroy it insome other way).
  19. 19. The act of burning the letter is away of symbolically letting goand destroying the old problems.
  20. 20. Above all, you need to giveyourself permission to expressyour emotions.
  21. 21. This can be quite hard, especiallyif you had an upbringing thatdiscouraged you from crying.
  22. 22. While you may need some help,either from hypnotherapy orfrom some other form ofcounselling, to overcome theblockages, it is important to losethat inhibition and express yoursorrow and anger.
  23. 23. Need help? Contact Us at…