“Sandy Bruty, you will narrate your life, for the microphones to
record, and I will piece together the information for my report to
the Grand Llama. Just like Gage Uglacy must do.”
Sandy: Yeah, yeah. I read the rule book. Let's get on with it.
“All Hail the Grand Llama, and the Illamanati!”
Sandy: Whatever. So, I got my house. It's pretty enough, has all
the basics, and two bedrooms. That'll do me for now.
Sandy: I can live off of fish from my business, of course, but with
no grocery store, if I want anything else, I'll have to grow it
myself. Just a basic garden should be enough. If my kid wants
more, she can plant it, herself.
Sandy: What luck! The only jobs available for a sim to take here is
in Music or Dance, and there just happens to be one opening for
Dance. Now, I could take it for myself, or I could just use the
business to pay my way, and let someone else have that one
Eh. I think I'll leave the job, for now. Actually, a koi pond would
look nice in the backyard, so I'll go get my gold fishing badge, for
now. Plus the business cash rewards. Who needs a day job?
Sandy: But, before I go there, helloo, potential lover! Let me just
make sure I have a woohoo option available, and you and I can
get to know each other. I guess the rest of the welcome wagon
can come in, too.
Sandy: Holy plumbob, you're a triple bolter! We just met, and
already we're slow dancing. I don't even mind that you jumped
the gun getting into the hot tub, because now I get to appreciate
your swimwear-clad body for that much longer. We'll just kick
the others out of the hot tub when we're ready to get it on, OK?
Welcome Wagon Man (WWM): Sure thing, baby! You are so hot,
I'm glad I'm barely dressed, or I'd melt from the heat.
Sandy: OK, girls, y'all can leave now. Now that you've wasted all
WWM: We don't need candles, baby.
Sandy: Right you are, lover! Let's have another dream date!
Welcome Wagon Woman: I'm just going to stay here, staring
Sandy: Hey, no skin off my nose.
WWM: Me, neither. Let's get it on!
Sandy: I'm excited I tried this Games activity! That was a lot of
fun! Crossword is great.
Hmmm, maybe one of my lovers will bring me a game as a date
reward. In fact, I wonder if I can actually make a living from date
rewards? With 20 different sims to woohoo, that will surely
mean a lot of dates. I think I'll try it and see. Then there's no
need for a babysitter.
Sandy: Yep, there it is. No more hot tub for me, until I push out
Sandy: SHAE! My pal. OK, we're not actually friends, yet, but at
least I know you. Nobody brought by a gift last night, so how
would you like to come over and spend the day dream dating
me? I figure you're good for at least two bouquets, at least.
Sandy: Actually this may take three. We're starting out pretty low,
Sandy: Yep. Three bouquets. Feel free to leave whenever you
wake up. I'm going to crash when we're done. Pregnancy
drains you, you know.
Shae: That's fine. I'll deliver the bouquets tomorrow.
Sandy: Try not to interrupt another date. I caught Gage with a
date, and now I hate them both.
Sandy: One good thing about all the dating is that it pays for the
Sandy: Another night without date presents. Shoot. I have to
spend the whole day chatting up the various men I know, hoping
that someone will come over to date me.
Sandy: Allright, Gage, here's the deal. I don't really forgive you,
but at least you called, so that's a plus. I'm holed up at home,
waiting for some man to be willing to come over to my house.
Are you up for it? Maybe tomorrow? Well, OK. I suppose you
ought to see your child, at any rate.
Sandy: Oooh, a call from a stranger! Juan Reamon? You heard
from Shae that I was a blast, and you want to take me on a date
downtown? Sounds great! I know just the place.
Sandy: Waitaminute. I thought this was a date! And SHE'S here,
Well, at least there are three new men to meet. I can befriend
them tonight, and date them tomorrow. Some jokes and Bust a
Moves will do the trick in no time.
Juan: Eww, don't Bust a Move with me. I hate that. You know
that temporary friendship you get with the blind outing
introduction? Well, it's all gone down to zero with me, because
your jokes aren't funny, either.
Shae: How DARE you bust a move with that fellow I introduced
you to! This outing is over, and it's a total bomb! Expect flaming
poo to be delivered forthwith.
Sandy: But, I didn't even flirt with him!
Shae: I don't care.
Sandy: Well, I might as well stay and catch some food for the
winter. Now it's just us girls, because the entire outing group
left. Pity. I could have made some good money off their tickets,
at least. And I'm not platinum, anymore, either. I need a man.
Sandy: Hello, Garden Club Matthew. This trip might not have
been a complete waste after all. Let me sell you a ticket, and
then I'll chat you up. We can save the dating for my place,
because I don't like to get slapped.
Sandy: So, I'm going to have Gage Uglacy's baby.
Matthew: Oh, poor you. Wow, look at the time. I gotta go.
Sandy: My aspiration is tanking. I need a date, stat.
Armando: Sorry, not interested.
Sandy: Aw, thanks for calling, Gage. You really perked me up. I
was starting to feel really down on myself, like no one would
want me again, now that I've turned into a walking walrus with
hormones on the rampage. Yes, I'll be your best friend again!
Sandy: So, Waylon, I'm not exactly founding an uglacy, but let's
just say your nose is interesting. If I have a girl, you should
definitely come around to my place. Then again, you should
come around, anyway, because I'm not picky.
Waylon: Well, shucks. I don't get invited to join a playable family
very often, so...
Sandy: Only if my daughter wants you, Nosey.
Goopy: Something about Sandy Bruty just seems so right to me!
As if we were somehow related, but only by marriage, once a
long time ago. Dating your in-laws is hawt!
Sandy: Finally, a date! Aspiration points, were we go!
Well, that is where we would go, if I'd ever roll anything besides
wants to hire everybody here.
Sandy: I really wish you would roll my wants! Ah, forget it. I'm
going home. At least there I'll stop wanting to sell things and
Sandy: At least I'm rolling one fulfillable want. Skilling may be
boring, but I might as well learn how to cook. At least I'll get
some definite benefit from it.
Sandy: Finally! A date gift! Thanks, Shae! Sorry I busted a move
and broke your heart. Except, you know, not really. Anyway, a
big-screen TV that I don't need, is a sweet $3500 for me!
Sandy: Hey, Drama Llama! I'm about to have a baby here. Want
to take a picture.
Sandy: Hello, there, baby girl. I shall name you Nooboo, in honor
of you being the first baby born in GageNation. Oh, and thank
you SO much for triggering a want-roll that kept all the
unfulfillable ones, and took away the skilling one. Great.
Well, actually, there is one want left in my panel that I can fulfill.
Sandy: Hey, Gage, you always did roll my wants, and I'm rolling a
big one for you now, so come over here and meet your baby girl.
Gage: So, you're my daughter, huh? I never cared about my kids
before, but I think this time I'll autonomously pick you up, and
keep your mother from doing anything useful, like feeding you or
putting you in your crib.
Gage: Or maybe, I'll just throw all expectations out the window,
and actually feed you.
Sandy: Oh, Gage, I never knew what a caring father you could be.
Also, I heard that it counts as two different sims, if you do it in
two different places.
Gage: You mean?
Sandy: Great. Now I'm platinum and I'm pregnant.
Gage: Well, now that you know what a caring father I am, I
suppose you'll invite me over a lot. Whenever you need a good
woohoo, at least. After all, a cranky mother makes for an
Sandy: Well, we can't have that.
Sandy: Oh, Drama Llama, it doesn't make sense. Goopy here
rolls my wants, but they keep rolling back to Gage. Even when
we're on a date in my living room, so you'd think I'd be all about
the man at hand, I'm still wanting to kiss and woohoo with Gage!
Goopy: That's OK, Sandy. Just point out my future bride, and
we'll be all good.
Sandy: I'm still gonna woohoo you, even without the want.
Sandy: Let's make this quick, because Nooboo is crying. I think
she needs a diaper change.
Goopy: She's the one I'm going to marry, right?
Sandy: Please don't talk about marrying my daughter WHILE
you're woohooing with me. That's just tacky, Goopy. I'm going
back to Oceanography Institute as soon as we're done, here,
because you totally killed the mood.
Sandy: Well, I got about $80K from this place, just from the
business rewards. I thought I could make a good living from
date rewards, but I seem to only date cheapskates.
Peter: If I had gone on a date with you, I'd be insulted.
Sandy: I'm waiting until we're already friends.
Sandy: Do you think I should take up magic? It seems to have
been very useful for Gage.
Peter: I think you should become a plantsim, but that's just a
Sandy: Well, why don't you come check out my garden. Maybe if
it suits you, you can join me in the hot tub, before I pop.
Sandy: Whoops! Took too long. It will have to be a tour of the
closet, instead. Good thing that Nanny refuses to leave, right?
Because if I go into the closet, the baby thinks I've left her
Peter: Well, maybe she thinks you went to Narnia.
Sandy: I wish. Mr. Tumnis is hawt!
Sandy: Well, that's number 5. One quarter of the way there, and
my first week's not even up. That's pretty good.
Thanks, Peter. You can go now. Maybe I can get someone else
over here tonight, and bump up the number to six.
Sandy: Hey, Nanny, thanks for watching Nooboo while I took
Peter to Narnia. But now that you nearly set the house on fire, I
think it's time for you to go.
Nanny: You know, if you were bisexual, you could take me to
Sandy: I suppose I could, but I'm not, and besides, I'd have to get
another nanny in to watch Nooboo while we went.
Sandy: Hey, Armando, wanna celebrate my daughter's birthday
with me? It'll be intimate. Like, REAL intimate.
Sandy: First, we celebrate. Then we do the birthday.
“Awww, Nooboo is cute! The other Llamas and I were taking bets
about exploding cheekbones and fish lips. However, no
payments will be made until adulthood. Puberty has a tendency
to hit sims hard.”
Sandy: I think she's perfect, just like me.
Sandy: Alright, alright. You can stop the constant clicking. I got
her all her toddler skills. Now can we go on free will, and see if
she actually develops a personality?
“She keeps going for the toilet.”
Sandy: So? I get cleaning points. I do roll skilling wants from time
“Suit yourself. Free will it is, although that means no dates.”
Sandy: It's the last day of fall, it's snowing, and I'm in my
underpants. That's the best time to harvest sickly tomatoes.
Sandy: I must say, I'm glad of those business perks, because my
lovers are awful. I should have had more than just a few
bouquets and a single television set by now.
“Better luck next week.”
Sandy: Yeah. I still have one full day, but this was the last of the
wee hours, in which such gifts are delivered. Phooey. But even
after the rebuild, I have enough to pay taxes and bills.
“Mommy's still asleep, kid. Try climbing out. You can walk, after
Nooboo: Kachow! I make finnergun for camewa.
A/N: 10/9/10/1/3. This should be interesting. But even with full
neat points, she still goes for the toilet, when she's free. Maybe
she wants to clean it?
Sandy: Aww, you can't give me sweet woohoo, but I love you,
anyway, little Nooboo.
Nooboo: Mommy my best fwiend!
Sandy: That's because you're such a good girl for your bath.
A/N: Yes, autonomous baby-feeding and bathing. I am surprised.
Even Gage takes care of the kid when he comes over. And he
calls Sandy every day, too.
Neil: I heard there's a woman here who likes to woohoo.
Sandy: OK, freewill over. I want another date. Let the kid wander
and “clean” the toilet. I'm taking control of my want panel.
“I thought you were on a date. Want panel control?”
Sandy: I only just met him, and he won't accept a date yet. And
Nooboo needs attention.
“She is cute.”
Sandy: Yeah. Neil can wait until naptime, I'm sure. Once he's
been greeted, he'll stick around, amusing himself until I can
focus on him.
Sandy: Ooooooh! Look, Neil, I like you and all, but I'm afraid we'll
have to interrupt our date.
Neil: I understand. Perhaps we can play pillowfight later.
Sandy: Ask me next week. I think the rest of today will be taken
up with bottles and diapers.
Sandy: Welcome, Bella! Wait, are those cheekbones? Please be
cheekbones. I want my little girls to be as pretty as they can be.
“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
Gage: My genetic senses are tingling. I just had to stop by.
Sandy: Oh, dear. Goodbye, Neil. See you later. At least we are
best friends, now, and primed for a fast woohoo the next time.
Sandy: Gage! How good of you to come see your new daughter.
Nevermind the old man slipping out the back. He's literally just a
Gage: That's OK, baby. Speaking of which, have you rolled any
more unspeakable wants for me?
Sandy: Darn it! Did you cast a spell, or something?
Sandy: Say, Gage, why don't you just stay the night? Get to know
Gage: Sounds good to me.
Sandy: Good, because even though you did some childcare for
Nooboo before, you're not in her relationship panel, at all, even
though she's rolling wants to interact with you. It's weird. Let's
Nooboo: Awe you my Daddy?
Gage: I am, kid. Say, how would you like another little sibling? A
Sandy: NO. I'm not trying for baby with you again, Gage. I love
you, and all, and I love your cheekbones, but this house is small.
I have seating round the table for three family members and a
single guest. I'd like to keep it that way.
Gage: Oh, come on, baby. You know you want the woohoo. And
Sandy: I do want, it, dang it. And it would push us right into dream
Gage: You could add a fifth chair, for guests, here at the end of
the table. It would fit.
Sandy: You sweet-talking devil, you. But this is the last one!
“We Illamanati are pleased. It's not a strict Uglacy, as it hardly
started according to legacy rules, but we do enjoy the
experiment, after all. And if the children share rooms, there is
certainly space in the bedrooms for them.”
Sandy: All RIGHT, but this is definitely the LAST ONE! And Gage,
you had better give me a good date gift this time.
Gage: Say, do you nurse the babies, or what?
“And on that charming note, we will end this chapter. The lullabye
chimed just after midnight, and it is time to move on to the next
household. Sandy Bruty's net worth in the neighborhood screen
is $83,651, and she pays $4,183 in taxes, via Familyfunds cheat.
“All Hail the Grand Llama and the Illamanati! End of report.”