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Faylyers 5 a


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The Faylyers go to China and slip into the 80's! Drama!

Published in: Entertainment & Humor
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Faylyers 5 a

  1. 1. Teh Faylyers Chapter 5A Usually, I play to show off my simming skillzors, but this time, I'm playing reverse-style, and letting them have their own way. Let's see how many failure points I can earn, while still keeping the family going for 5 generations. Like the Limbo, How Low Can I Go?
  2. 2. Wendell! I barely knew you. Mostly because I don't interact much with garden gnomes. Still, it is sad to see someone I don't hate pass on. Since I am about to expand the house, anyway, I will set up a little gnome cemetery, where your gnome family can mourn for you with dignity.
  3. 3. Here you go, Wendell. A nice little garden in the fenced-in yard.
  4. 4. I went ahead and sold all of the things in my family inventory, except for the unique items that can only be purchased abroad or received as celebrity gifts, such as this hot tub, the wonderful television set, or the iconic guitar. I got a LOT of goodies to sell!
  5. 5. In fact, it turned out that I had so much stuff from gifts and celebrity goodies that when I sold it, I gained a net worth of over $500,000! Both the plumbots had been holding onto a want to achieve that much wealth, and with that want fulfilled, they both became Maintenance Masters, meaning that they will never need a tune-up again! Niner needs social from time to time, but Octavia can just stay at a fishing hole in the sunshine FOREVER.
  6. 6. And because I can: I put that dumpster inside, where no paparazzi can catch me diving in it, along with the other things a growing family needs: A science station, a gem cutter, a chemistry set, a brain- doozer, and a second all-in-one bathroom. I also pulled the old plumbot station out of the family inventory, just to keep my hand in, and to see if anyone in the family wants to try it. I can still make trait chips for fun and profit. Well, profit, anyway.
  7. 7. Down in the basement, I put ten nectar racks and a nectar machine. I have four left in the family inventory, to place at my nectary, when I have it ready. I'll probably plant a fruit garden there, as well, the way they have it in France, so that visiting sims can gather the ingredients they need to create wonderful nectars. “You can afford to build that, now! And you have to wait two days before China, anyway, so why not get started?”
  8. 8. I'll get started on that soon. First, I want to cut all the gems I collected in France and consign the ones I don't want to keep, then smelt the metals. After that, I'll be ready to buy my new business. Maybe I'll go ahead and buy that laundromat, as well. Investments are good for a regular weekly income, after all.
  9. 9. And it's time to adjust the trait chips for these two bots. I don't need someone cooking food when there's a synthesizer and a fridge filled with leftovers. I can cook any food my family needs, if I don't want them to use the synthesizer food. And I don't need anyone cleaning up the food before a person has a chance to eat it. But it wouldn't hurt to have two responsible bots taking care of the children. And at least one back-up to repair broken things while Felix is around would be good.
  10. 10. Between repairing and cleaning, I much prefer cleaning. Especially if it means my family can eat. That vicious cycle in France was just too aggravating. “You know, it was all Felix's fault. If he had just grabbed a plate, before walking away, it wouldn't have been a problem. By the way, have you heard of the Age of Instant potion? You could be true to your husband until he dies of old age... next week.”
  11. 11. Of course, I can still do all the upgrades I want. And, no, I'm not going to kill him off for you, Voice. “Not even if he really honks you off?” Well... maybe then. But I did get that potion of discord, so I can just break up with him, easy peasy.
  12. 12. Oh! I just remembered! Jean Luc, remember that potion I promised you?
  13. 13. Jean Luc: I'm young again! Great! Now hold still. Jean Luc: What?
  14. 14. Jean Luc: I feel filled with MASSIVE COSMIC POWER! Great! You can magically clean the house, so I don't have to. Also, because we have a lot of art, and will only get more, what with two painters in the house, have one more potion. It's just a minor change in personality. Now your Can't Stand Art trait has been changed to Sailor, as useful as that is in a town like Moonlight Falls. You're still insane, clumsy, absent-minded and excitable. Goodnight!
  15. 15. Jean Luc: I look good. And I have 42 days until I age up to an adult again. “What? I thought genies had regular human-length lifespans. Well, either fairy or genie, your child with Ariel will have a long life. I may need to find a way to expand the household beyond merely eight sims.”
  16. 16. “I see your orange background, Jean Luc. Are you going to stay in the hot tub until you give me a failure?” Jean Luc: This hot tub is niiiiiiiccccceee. “Yeah, it's a unique hot tub that only the best celebrities can get. Even the jets are already upgraded. I'd love a soak in it, myself.”
  17. 17. FELIX!!! “Well, you'll always have a fridge stocked full of food, while he's around.” Thank the Watcher the synthesized food is free.
  18. 18. “Just when I'm starting to think the sim is stuck and needs to be reset, he finally gets out of the hot tub, after soaking literally all night long. Could it be?”
  19. 19. “YEEESSSSSSS!” Congratulations, Voice. You are officially a mediocre Sims player. “AAAHAHAHAHAAAAAA! YAAAYYYY! I HAVE A FAILURE!!!!” I'm happy for you. “- 5 points! I'll catch up with you, yet, Idanzeys!”
  20. 20. “It's just such a glorious sight! I'm so happy! Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy!!! Bouncing all around!” You are so weird, Voice. “I've just been waiting SO LONG!”
  21. 21. Jean Luc: Now, look, Octavia. I woke up to pee, and now I want to see the baby. Octavia: No. You can't have her. You'll drop her. Jean Luc: Don't be ridiculous. I won't drop her. I had five whole minutes of sleep.
  22. 22. “Awwwww.” Nevermind, Voice. We'll have more passing out and peeing failures soon. I'm going to have another baby soon, and then another pregnancy with Jean Luc, and did you notice I put the cribs and the children's bunk beds in the same room? Did you notice that? I learned that from the Idanezys you love so much. Just wait until the children are bigger. Just waaaaiiiit.
  23. 23. Ooooh! I'm going into labor! I'd better get to the hospital, quick.
  24. 24. Felix: I was just about to eat a dish of the third thing I synthesized, but now I see it's time to take my wife to the hospital. Food will have to wait.
  25. 25. “And the insane sim mistakes an ice cream truck for an ambulance” Hurry! Take me to the hospital right now! My water just broke. Driver: EWWW! Lady, get your bodily fluids away from my frozen treats! Take me to the hospital or I'll find a new place to put this rainbow pop!
  26. 26. Everyone, please welcome Brunhilda, the Valkyrie. A mighty warrior, Brunhilda could handle anything, and she's going to need that in this life. She's insane, athletic, and a witch like her father and sister. “Two witches. That will make it harder to choose between them, I suppose. But then, if you had a witch, a fairy and a genie to choose from, which would you choose as heiress, anyway?”
  27. 27. “Awww, I love the fairy glowies that surround you when you're caring for your child. It's so sweet!”
  28. 28. And now, because I can, I'm going to spend some time getting down and dirty in the dumpster. It's fun and profitable, and I have a shower close at hand.
  29. 29. Brunhilda: I'm loving the music, but feed me, please. “Just kidding! She can't talk, yet. Seriously, though, I saw her mood, and it's low on something, probably food.”
  30. 30. It's a full moon, and I can't tell. Are you an alien zombie, or just a regular alien?
  31. 31. Phog: I appreciate sims who learn new things. Let's get to know each other better. Sounds good to me. Say, I want an alien in the family, eventually. I think I'll focus on Science for a few days before the next trip, just so I can invite you over and take a sample for future cloning. “Really? No China? I'm amazed! Amazed, but not disappointed.”
  32. 32. Oh, wait! Yeah! Time doesn't pass here while I'm traveling, so it's not like you'll die of old age while I take the adults and bots on a trip to China. I can do the Science when I come back. In fact, given enough free time at China, after I get the level 3 visa, I could study Science there. Yeah! Phog, I'll catch you later. Your genes will definitely be part of this legacy, someday.
  33. 33. Wow! I got so sidetracked with preparations for the next trip, taking things to the consignment store, clearing out inventories and selling stuff, I nearly missed your birthday, Bianca. “That's pretty much appropriate for an ISBI, anyway, isn't it?” I also have a feeling there's something else I forgot. Voice, are you sure I don't have the absent-minded trait, like Jean Luc?
  34. 34. Isn't my litle girl beautiful? She looks nothing like me, though. She's all her father's daughter. Still, I love her and think she's gorgeous. Maybe she'll grow up to have my mouth. I am fond of my mouth. Anyway, I'm going to get you set up with some toys, Bianca, and then I'm going to make sure that fireplace is fireproof, so no baby of mine burns up in the bedroom.
  35. 35. OK, I'll potty train you, first. Then I really need to take care of your safety. But don't worry. Nanny Octavia will take care of you, too. This is why I made the plumbots, after all.
  36. 36. China, at last! I brought along Octavia and Felix for the extra time, and Jean Luc simply so he can enjoy the trip. Isn't it gorgeous?
  37. 37. Great. Everyone has a wish or need to go to a different location, and I have to escort you. Wait, where did Jean Luc go? “He decided to run off somewhere for fishing. Who knows where he'll end up? I wouldn't worry about his wish to go somewhere specific right now. You can escort him later.”
  38. 38. “Is that a jetpack I see on your back? What happened to being afraid you'd crash and die?” Well, you see, I already have my required two babies, and two plumbots who can take care of them, so even if I die, we should be able to continue the ISBI until they grow up. And this place is so spread out, with very few roads. It's just more efficient to fly everywhere. Besides, I have a death flower in my inventory and level 10 Future Tech.
  39. 39. And with the time I save, I can get in some sparring practice. I might want to win the martial arts tournament, someday, you know, so getting in a few sparring matches will boost my sparring skill.
  40. 40. Felix! Are you flirting, again?! “One way or another, that man has got to go. You need room in the house for your kids with Jean Luc, if nothing else.” I completely agree, Voice. I may not need that potion of discord to divorce him, either.
  41. 41. Wow. I hope all my quests are as simple as this first quest line. Day 2, and I'm already at level 2 on my visa! I love deliveries!
  42. 42. “I heard the music and moved the camera over to find this. What is this, Felix? Seriously, those women in the background with their matching outfits look like an Indiana Jones version of a Robert Palmer 80's music video. They even have the bored expressions right. All they need is heavy makeup with shiny, bright red lips. “Might as well face it, Felix. You're Addicted To Love. But I suppose you're figuring it out as you go.”
  43. 43. Felix: So, I'm kinda stuck in a doomed relationship right now. Any ideas how I can get out intact and date you, instead? I think the Voice kinda has it in for me, and my wife won't be far behind.
  44. 44. “Synchronized sleepyheads.”
  45. 45. “And now, they are literally fighting over him. “Look, Ariel, it's late. Why don't you pitch your tent or fairy house and get some sleep, because I'm busy watching the show over here.” Show? What show? Do I need to come over there? “You probably shouldn't.”
  46. 46. Felix: If I get a four-poster bed, can I fit them all in there? Robert Palmer Indiana Jones Video Girls: I hate you, fellow chorus girl. Lead Indiana Jones Video Girl: Derp! He's so sexy, I can't even see straight. “I just realized: either one of you added glasses, or there is a THIRD!”
  47. 47. “At last, exhaustion beats out 80's rock drama.” Felix: But, the four-poster bed is made for woohooy times. :sadface: “Buck up, kiddo. Play your cards right, and your wife will only divorce you, and you'll be able to be a heartbreaker all over town.” Author's Note: My nephew actually SAYS “sadface” when he is sad. In fact, he's the one who taught me the term. He's one of my favorite people.
  48. 48. “Um, Jean Luc? I know it's a recent development for you, but did you forget that you're a genie? You know, clap hands and the whole house is clean? Did you forget that? Of course you did, you absent-minded sim, you. You're adorable. “Ariel, you might want to return to base camp and repair some plumbing, just so your future husband can do something besides mop the very same puddle all day long. He's so helpful. 8-D”
  49. 49. Ebe (otherwise known as Lead Indiana Jones Video Girl): I can't believe you're throwing me over for her! She doesn't even have the right hairstyle! Her jacket and shorts are OK, but she just does NOT fit in with our musical aesthetic. Beau: Suck it, sister. He's mine, now. Felix: I couldn't resist the big hair and bow, like Madonna would wear.
  50. 50. “OH, Felix. Believe me. Do not trust these smiles.” Hey, uh, Voice? I don't know what you've been watching all this time, but I have some adventuring to do, and could really do with your attention. Since I need you to give me commands, like, “Report In,” or “Spar with Whatshisname” or “Collect Metals,” and the like. “Huh? Oh, yeah. OK, I'll be right there. Dang, this was intriguing.”
  51. 51. “OK, commands quickly queued. What did I miss?” Felix and Beau: Don't mind us. We're just flirting. Jean Luc: What's wrong, Ebe? Ebe: How dare he cheat on me with another woman when he was cheating on his wife with me? Help me think of a plan for revenge?
  52. 52. Jean Luc: I sure will! I have the hots for Ariel, and am suffering a -20 moodlet for witnessing Felix's betrayal of my loved one. Ebe: Really? Golly, that's so hot! Maybe I was attracted to the wrong man, after all. I mean, I do value fidelity. Felix: Oooh, yummy! Is that root-beer flavored lip gloss I'm tasting? “Yep, I am definitely back in the 80's. Root beer lip gloss, and all.”
  53. 53. Ebe: Ok, how's this? You knock him out and I'll roast him for dinner. Jean Luc: What?! I can't let you do that! Ebe: Well then what good are you? Besides, I'm hungry! Jean Luc: It's for your own good. Cannibalism leads to prion poisoning. I don't want your brain to melt in 20 years' time.
  54. 54. Ebe: Mark my words. I will get vengeance. Just because I'm not eating him doesn't mean I won't get vengeance. I am not dressed for adventure for nothing! I'll crawl through a tomb and find a mummy, bring it back to base camp and use it to curse him! Yeah! That'll work! “Arial, just out of curiosity, you know that bottled mummy curse you bought at the elixir store? Did you bring it with you, by any chance?”
  55. 55. I can't really check my pockets right now, Voice. But I didn't plan on turning anyone into a mummy, so I probably left it at home. Why do you ask? “Oh, nothing. Well, I guess you could say I got an idea for what to do with Felix, when you're ready to divorce him. Mummies live a long, long time, or else burn up really fast. It could be interesting. Unless you still want to turn him into a tragic clown, instead.”
  56. 56. Jean Luc: Do I get a vote in this? I say we turn the dirty cheater into a vampire, and then bring him with us to Egypt. We get extra days there, and when he dies in the sunshine, Ariel and I can have a lovely wedding at the base of the Sphinx at sunset, for the beautiful view. “I suppose such a death would not count as 'accidental' for the points, but I can live with that. And somehow it fits the whole 'Indiana Jones 80's Rock' vibe. Just like when the bad guys opened the Ark.”
  57. 57. “You know, Felix, it's kind of a pity that we have to melt your face off, like in a movie, because when I look at Beau now, I want to get her genes into the family somehow. She's so gorgeous!” Felix: Maybe if I woohoo Beau, and then really quick, woohoo with my wife, the baby will look like Beau, because it's ¼ hers? “That is NOT how biology works, fool.”
  58. 58. Beau: OK, I'm getting out of here. Felix is cute, but he talks to the voice in his head, and says the stupidest stuff out loud. Besides, I think Ebe wants vengeance, and I want to be far away from Felix when she strikes. “She's officially too smart for this challenge. Bye, bye, Beau! Please breed with someone else, preferably bearing a son who can marry into our family, because you are gorgeous!”
  59. 59. “How you doin' there, Octavia?” Octavia: I have been fishing in this very same spot, from the very same fishing spawner, for three days. I'm fine.” “Golly, I love solar-powered maintenance master plumbots! Maybe I'll have Ariel shift you to a new spot in a day or two.” A/N: I just noticed that Octavia is actually a male! Not that it matters in a plumbot, but yeah. My bad.
  60. 60. “This face. She's just sitting there, eating cereal, and giving off heart- farts for Jean Luc, while making this face. I can't pull myself away from the drama at the base camp. What is she planning behind those puppy dog eyes? Will she actually pull it off, or just pout?”
  61. 61. Jean Luc: Did you see it, Voice? Did you see it? My -20 moodlet for witnessing a loved one's betrayal will wear off in 4 hours, but Felix's moodlet for losing a friend is -25 and lasts for 24 hours! Haha! Just what he deserves. Well, not quite. Not enough. We really dislike each other now. I will certainly not miss him when he's gone. “Yeah. I'm actually still sort of rooting for him to accidentally kill himself with his own magic, but one way or another, he's got to go.”
  62. 62. Oh, you're back, Voice. Did you enjoy your little interlude? “Yes, thank you. But now I have to tell you. I have found the perfect place for you to take a picture. And another place for a different picture. You won't get the max value, because you already took the shots for the collection, but they'll be pretty to put up on the walls at home. Sell the lousy, but expensive pics, and keep the cheap gorgeous ones, that's what I say.”
  63. 63. Well, Voice, I'm afraid pictures will have to wait. You had me sparring with the wrong person! No wonder this quest line wasn't progressing. “D'oh! My bad! Sorry! I'll pay closer attention to you now, I promise.”
  64. 64. “WOW! That fabric is so stretchy! With all the sequins, I would not have taken it for spandex.”
  65. 65. Now this is a much more restful way to gain visa points. I like this quest chain.
  66. 66. Sorry, man. No tomb crawling allowed for me, so I'm afraid the quest chain is over. But perhaps someday, one of my descendants will enter that tomb for you and complete my vision quest. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to bed in my fairy house.
  67. 67. “Back at base camp, I have obviously missed something, because Ebe now not only dislikes Felix, but she also very much dislikes Jean Luc, despite having formerly had the hots for both.” Jean Luc: Ladies, please. We may be stuck in an 80's mash-up, but that is no reason to go nuclear. Let's all just calm down. Maybe if you all got into your underwear like me, you'd be more comfortable. Those tight pants look binding.
  68. 68. Felix: Well, if it isn't the love of my life, back from her adventures! Don't call me that! I know what's been going on! I've made friends all over town, and they told me ALL the gossip. And Jean Luc confirmed it, with Voice's blessing. I know all about the “music video” and the “chorus girls,” and I've had enough! I was a fool to give you a second chance, and you blew it! That is IT!
  69. 69. Felix: I'm sorry, sweetie! Come here, let's hug it out. No way, you jackass! I'm never hugging you again! Felix: Please? I'm sorry. Let's work this out! The only workout we're gonna have is THIS!
  70. 70. Take THAT! And THAT!
  71. 71. Never mess with a woman who gained two thirds of her celebrity points from workout opportunities! I will take you OUT. Felix: Owwww, my bum! Paparazzi: Golly, I am getting the best scoop, ever!
  72. 72. Your mother was a llama, and your father smelt of meloire grapes! I fart in your general direction! “Just a minute. What's that I see in the background?”
  73. 73. Ebe: I have ice cream and Felix just got a public butt-whooping that is going to be splashed on the front pages of all the tabloids. All is right with the world.
  74. 74. This marriage is OVER! I can't kick you out of the base camp, but don't think you're sleeping in MY house, once I get it. You can stay right here at the base camp until our flight home. And once we get back to Moonlight Falls, you are OUT! I don't care where you live, but it won't be with me or the girls! “Did you know he had 30,000 points to spend, Ariel?”
  75. 75. What? Oh, uh, before you go, would you mind getting a genie lamp for me? I might need it to revive the girls, should the unthinkable happen. Felix: Right, you want me to just empty my pockets and hand over everything I have of value? YES! Exactly that! I'll let you keep your wand and your high school diploma. The rest is MINE! I'm the one who helped you get them.
  76. 76. Felix: Alright, already! Take it all! I don't care. I can find my own way. I managed just fine before you, and I'll manage again. I'll go to the future and get winning lotto tickets and be richer than you could ever dream. FINE! Be rich somewhere else! Just give me that genie lamp before you go. You owe it to your children! Besides, I GAVE you those points!
  77. 77. My life is in the toilet, and it's all clogged up. “Now, now. He's not your husband, anymore, and he was the one cheating and the paparazzi know it, and you can marry Jean Luc right now, if you want, without awful repercussions. I'd call this a win. Soon as you get that Level 3 Visa, you can turn this into a private honeymoon. Plus, you have a genie lamp.”
  78. 78. I suppose you're right, Voice. And we didn't have to kill him, and lose you points, even though I'm sure you enjoyed planning it. But now I'm feeling blue, with bad moodlets that will last for days. I need me some ambrosia. “Go ahead. I won't even complain. You only aged two days since the last dose, anyway.”
  79. 79. Drat! It's morning and I didn't catch a single deathfish. I caught a vampire fish, but without the right bait, I just couldn't snag the fish I wanted. Maybe I should take a break from visa-farming and find some angelfish? “They do have them here, so go ahead. At least you can get some ambrosia tomorrow. Those moodlets are hitting you hard.”
  80. 80. What? Noooo! The papers just came out, and they're blaming ME? I was the wronged party! Just because I beat him in a fair fight, they're making me out to be the villain of the story. Great. Just what I needed. Eight friends lost and a three-day scandal. No discounts for me, plus another bad moodlet. I WANT AMBROSIA! “You can at least buy the alley catfish to get you started. And you can certainly afford them, even without discounts.”
  81. 81. Jean Luc: That flergling witch! Felix cast a spell on me so that the next person I talked to would become my nemesis! Fortunately, neither Ariel nor Octavia were anywhere near. I actually already disliked Ebe, but it's still a really crummy thing to do to a person!
  82. 82. Ebe: No, I will NOT re-enact the 80's music video with you! I don't like you, anymore! Felix: But... I cast an imminent romance spell. I was supposed to have a great romance with the next person I talked to, and I chose you. Ebe: You fool! After you cheated on me, do you really think I'll fall for you again? I'm not stupid, even if you are!
  83. 83. Felix: You're cute. Do you think we could be friends or lovers? New Target: You OK? You look like you saw a ghost. Jean Luc: It must be another spell. I feel attracted to you, stranger! Background Dancer With Glasses: You're very attractive, too! Ebe: Ah! Love is in the air, but I am staying out of it this time.
  84. 84. Background Dancer Without Glasses: So then it's bump on the upbeat and grind on the downbeat? I had it all backwards! No wonder I kept tripping up. I was afraid the director was going to fire me. “Hahah! OK, I need to pull myself away from the drama. Again. Visa points await.”
  85. 85. Wow. Even the ghosts are judging me. Who knew the dead followed the tabloids? “You'll have your deathfish and ambrosia soon, Ariel. It won't be forever. And just think. You're 90% to level 3 visa, so it should only take two or three more opportunities, at most. You're so close!” What a relief! I can't wait to have my own private place.
  86. 86. Felix: That looks like some fine dining. Eat your heart out, Cheater Boy. You're the reason I need this. I was doing just fine before you cheated. Felix: You mean before you accused me of cheating. If you had ignored it, we'd both be fine now. I hate you. Don't blame me for your wrongdoing. NEMESIS!
  87. 87. Hooray! That did it! I am at level 3! I might even do the next step or two in this quest chain, just for the ancient coins, but for now, I just want to buy my private home, set it up the way I like it, and get married to Jean Luc, then spend the rest of my vacation just studying and fishing, with a bit of gardening thrown in for the future. It's time to put this ugly past behind me. “And get some genie/fairy babies! With Felix gone, you can have two!”
  88. 88. In addition to an empty lot by the river, which we can design however we want, I bought this pre-designed house, right in the heart of Shang Simla, in the Forbidden City. It's small, and won't fit the whole family unless I put in a basement, but that's certainly a possibility. As for a garden, I could put some grow rugs on the stone paving, and build a fence around it to protect from zombies on the full moon.
  89. 89. This place is perfect for a honeymoon! I'll add the garden, but I don't think I'll bother with the basement. If I want more space, I'll build a bigger house on the empty lot. Right now, I like the coziness and authentic style of this house, just the way it is. “Besides, I see you now have a wish to be worth more than $1,000,000, so you need to save your simoleons until you make it.”
  90. 90. Jean Luc: Please help me, I'm starving. Right away, honey. Just let me take the garbage out, first. YOU! Felix, you are going back to the base camp. I don't care what you do there, but there is no room for you in my honeymoon cottage. GET OUT! Felix: Golly, I feel so put upon.
  91. 91. Aww, he started cooking before I could, ate an apple, and then walked away. I guess I'll stock the fridge with leftovers? Enjoy your nap, or just your tour, whatever you're doing. I'll have dinner ready soon, and then we can finally get married.
  92. 92. Felix: I don't care what you say. I'm not staying at the base camp. You're at the house, and I'll stay at the house, even if I have to sleep on the couch. Well, you sure won't be sharing with Jean Luc or me! I suppose it can't be helped, but you'd better be out of the house as much as possible, even if I have to escort you out, every morning.
  93. 93. So much for a private honeymoon. You know what? I think I'll hold off on the wedding until we get home, anyway. It's just too awkward for me with this guy hanging around here, and showing up anytime we want to be alone. Jean Luc: Perhaps we can have a honeymoon in Egypt, after all? I have never been there. Or we could go back to France, if you prefer.
  94. 94. Jean Luc: What the Watcher? Here I am, innocently talking to myself on my front porch, when this woman I don't know comes up to me and tells me that she finds me attractive, and then tells me to “behave.” Ugh! Ugh, indeed! I'll be proposing and making us an official couple right after breakfast, just so no one else can steal you away before I have a chance to put a ring on it.
  95. 95. Jean Luc: Thanks for bringing me here for the 500 points. Now, will you teach me martial arts? I can try. There's a training dummy here, after all. Speaking of points, I noticed that my LTW still shows as unfulfilled. Perhaps we can go to the future, instead of Egypt? Three times? Just to trigger my LTW points, of course. We could even bring Felix back there and dump him back in his home timeline. I think that would be a generous thing to do.
  96. 96. Jean Luc: It's working! Thank you! Hey, maybe I'll set up a dojo back in Moonlight Falls, as well as a nectary. Then all I'll need to add is a snake-charming club, and we'll have activities from all around the world. Jean Luc: I think it's so wonderful how you want to share with the rest of the town. You are a very generous person, indeed.
  97. 97. I can be very generous. But if you break my heart like Felix did, I won't be so generous a second time. Jean Luc: Understood. You know, this is a lovely garden. Why don't we just have the marriage here and now? A/N: Yes, I am a fickle player, and a forgetful one. I'm on my second read-through to edit, and noticed that I forgot to take those pictures from the viewpoints I had previously identified, and now I have to remember next time the family comes, and they may not get the gorgeous pictures for their walls, after all.
  98. 98. That's a genuine rainbow gem! And not the same one I gave to Felix, either. That would just be tacky. Jean Luc: I love it! But I love you more! “Awwww! You two are so sweet together.”
  99. 99. Jean Luc: This ring isn't so sparkly, but it is magically infused with all my love. I love you, too, Jean Luc! I'm sure we'll live happily ever after!
  100. 100. And for a wedding gift, I give you three celebrity stars, just like that! You know our children will probably all be superstars by the time they are teens. It's in the blood. Jean Luc: With two such gorgeous parents, how could they be anything less?
  101. 101. Drat you, Felix!
  102. 102. GET OUT OF MY BED! My husband and I want to consummate the marriage. “Haha! Never seen this before, mostly because I wouldn't do it to someone I liked.”
  103. 103. Procreation Elixir! I probably don't need it just to conceive, but I'd like just one more pregnancy to fill up the household. “Twins would be nice, especially if you have one of each, a genie and a fairy.” Felix: I feel put upon. Also a bit hard of hearing. But I shall have my revenge.
  104. 104. “What? WHAT?! Ariel is literally on the bed, waiting for her husband to join her and you do THIS?! Mister, you are in SO MUCH TROUBLE!” Felix: This is better than playing a laser-rhythm-o-con! All the lights and music are in my head! I feel like singing, “I kissed a boy and I liked it!”
  105. 105. Jean Luc: You frog-waffle! This is unacceptable and will not go unpunished! Felix: I think I might have miscalculated. Jean Luc: Thank the Watcher we are inside, because I will NOT have a scandal on account of you, you worthless pig-dog, sniffer of other people's bottoms!
  106. 106. Jean Luc: I have one whole point of fighting skill! You cannot best me, you empty-headed pet food dish wiper! I blow my nose at you! Felix: Help! Help! I'm being repressed! Jean Luc: I don't wanna talk to you no more! I want to woohoo with my wife!
  107. 107. Felix: I can't believe you're cheating on me with HER! “Wait, what? Did you actually just accuse Jean Luc of cheating?” Felix: I absolutely did! He's a dirty-rotten cheating Frenchman and his underwear leaves much to be desired!
  108. 108. Felix: Take that, Frenchie! I reject you! “Oh, wow. I never realized just how much drama can ensue from leaving sims on free will. And Felix is the one acting like he has the insane trait. DUDE. You were never dating him. He attacked you the moment after you kissed him.”
  109. 109. Can we finally get down to baby-making before this potion wears off? Jean Luc: My pleasure!
  110. 110. Jean Luc: I wish to banish you, but I don't suppose I can do that without Voice telling me to. “I'd love for you to banish him, Jean Luc. He keeps breaking everything! It's so annoying, especially since the plumbing objects are supposed to be permanently repaired, once Ariel fixes them. He's a perma-breaker, as well as a heart-breaker.”
  111. 111. Felix: You WILL love me again! Alashazam! The very next person you talk to will be your lover! “Quick! Go talk to Jean Luc!”
  112. 112. Felix: Reject me, will you? I'll break your dishwasher! Then, I'll cast another spell on you! “Oh, for the love of little green apples, get this sim out of the house! Let him break things somewhere else.” No kidding! I've been wanting to upgrade eighteen more objects, but I'm too busy repairing them. Plus, I still have to plant the garden.
  113. 113. Enjoy the hot springs. Did you know you can survive here with your apples for the rest of our stay? Did you? There's a nice bathroom, and couches for napping, and stuff to do. Please. Stay. Felix: Shame on you, woman. You make me feel unwanted. That would be because I. Don't. Want. You!
  114. 114. “HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! How did you get there? Now that you've been playing mountain goat, you're stuck and about to pass out.” Felix: Help me! “I want to let you just pass out, but it seems like that would be cheating, since you are genuinely trying to get to a place where you can sleep. :sigh: I'm going to have to reset you, aren't I? Drat.”
  115. 115. “Ugh! Since I had to reset you, I do not consider it cheating to command you to go elsewhere. Go sleep on a park bench, or something. Something far, far away.”
  116. 116. Thanks for coming home to take care of the garden, Octavia. I guess you've fished up enough tancho koi and dragon fish. Until I finish upgrading the household appliances, I'll leave the garden up to you. “So, no time to study Science, then?” I have too much to do! I want to leave this house well-ordered and ready for the next generation to enjoy.
  117. 117. Look at that, Voice! An Extravagator 5000. It's certainly not the best car, and only sells for $15,000, but I'm keeping it forever, because it completes my collection of unique items that only celebrities can get. Along with the grotto hot tub, the stretch TV and the iconic guitar, this car is for super-famous sims, only. I put down the parking spot, so I could show it off, but it's going into the inventory again, and I'll place it at home.
  118. 118. “I sent him back to base camp to sleep, and now the Robert Palmer/Indiana Jones 80's video mash-up with Ebe is back on. She's apparently rather forgiving, now that Ariel and Jean Luc are out of the way. I hope he's happy to stay right there with Ebe for the rest of the trip. Or more likely, he cast a love spell on her. He's gone happy with that spell, now that he knows it.”
  119. 119. I'm going to train my husband up to be a great fighter. That way, if Felix makes trouble again, there will be no doubt as to who wins the fight. Besides, it's just so woohooy.
  120. 120. “Felix has a dirtbag reputation! I have actually never seen that before, but it doesn't surprise me, in the slightest.” Felix: But, I'm just trying to achieve my lifetime wish!
  121. 121. Felix: You cheated on me! I'm going to yell at you and ask “How does that feel?” because this time it was YOU who cheated, and not me! Ebe: Only because Beau just broke up with you, fool! Background girl: Who needs cable TV when you're living with this? Just as long as he doesn't flirt with me and drag me into it, I'm loving it!
  122. 122. This is the last appliance in the house to be upgraded. The bathroom is self-cleaning, if not unbreakable. But I have repaired everything here, so it should be unbreakable, anyway, if Felix stays out of it. The washing machine has super-injected cleaning, the dishwasher runs silent, the stove has improved cooking, and the sprinklers are automatic. I can finally settle down with the Science books I brought. “So, no running around collecting items for money?”
  123. 123. Why should I do that, when I have a genie lamp in my inventory? As soon as we get home, I'm wishing for a fortune. Time is important in other ways, you know, and I'm not wasting any more of mine. Octavia can catch all the fish I need to stock ponds, and I can even buy some at the grocery store for the more common ones. I'll be fine, even if I don't leave the house again until it's time to go home.
  124. 124. Although I will take the time to cut the gems I already have. Would you believe they had two tiberium for sale at the relics store? I snatched those up and used the gem cutter I bought for the house. I just hope they have enough time to grow before the trip is over. I love gem dust! I will sell most of the heart-cut jade and lapis lazuli, but keep the gem dust here in the treasure chest, for use in those “collect 5 local gem” quests. Unless they need it uncut, of course.
  125. 125. Is it genies, in general, or just Jean Luc who are so very susceptible to the full moon? He just has to go around, all over town, giving people lunatic hugs or lunatic slaps. He's starving and exhausted, because I woohooed five times in bed, just trying to get him to sleep, but he insists on those lunatic embraces! What am I going to do with him? “Hope his absent-minded trait kicks in and he forgets to screw up relationships and decides to sleep, instead?”
  126. 126. He went to the base camp. Where our nemesis is. Great. Now I have to go fetch him back, come the morning.
  127. 127. I may have had to go out of my way to fetch him, but I enjoyed our date. We haven't really been able to spend as much time alone together as I'd like, but I have goals. Jean Luc understands, though. He's such a good husband for me.
  128. 128. With just a few hours left in the vacation, the garden is harvested and the produce placed in the fridge. My gem stones are cut, and the gem dust for the local gems is placed in the treasure chest, along with some cheap nectars I brought from home, in case of future adventure requirements. Octavia is back to fishing, and I am well on my way to level 8 of Science skill. This has actually been a productive vacation, despite the drama. I am well satisfied.
  129. 129. Jean Luc: Well, toilet, we have to go home, now. But I hope to see you again, soon. We've had a lovely visit, haven't we, toilet? WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME? “Hehe. I love insane sims and their talking to themselves action. And on that note, I'll (finally) end this chapter. Have a safe flight home, Faylyers, and Happy Simming!”
  130. 130. The points: Self-wetting: 1 x -5 = -5 Failing school : n x -5 = y NPC visit: n x -5 = y Passing Out: 3 x -5 = -15 Accidental Deaths: n x -10 = y Social Worker Visit: n x -15 = y Birth: n x +5 = y Twin Birth: n x +10 = y Triplet Birth: n x +15 = y Fulfilling LTW: n x +40 = y Honour roll: n x +5 = y Randomizing every LTW choice and trait for a whole generation of children: n x +10 = y Portrait of the torch holders somewhere in the house: n x +5 = y Having a spouse reach the top of their career: n x +10 = y Every $100,000: 5 x +20 = +100 (Yoinked Lotto winnings. I'll count the rest at the end.)