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Faylyers 4 a


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The Faylyers go to France, where Ariel faithfully keeps her options open.

Published in: Entertainment & Humor
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Faylyers 4 a

  1. 1. Teh Faylyers Chapter 4A Usually, I play to show off my simming skillzors, but this time, I'm playing reverse-style, and letting them have their own way. Let's see how many failure points I can earn, while still keeping the family going for 5 generations. Like the Limbo, How Low Can I Go?
  2. 2. “Happy Snowflake Day!” Thanks, Voice. I'm cutting all the gems I picked up in Egypt, so I can sell some and get money to build a nursery. Also, I'll be hosting a gift- giving party this evening, so I can get some good freebies that way, too. You know, I've been considering buying myself a commercial dumpster, so I can dumpster dive in the comfort of my own home.
  3. 3. I may be cash poor, but I have a LOT of things to put up for consignment.
  4. 4. Hah! $25,000 just from consigning some produce and gemstones. That dumpster is MINE! I think I'll set it up right next to the crib, so I can keep a close eye on the baby.
  5. 5. Voice, are you really going to make me watch Kids' TV? “And listen to Kids' radio, yep.” Why not just give me a procreation potion or the fertility treatment with my happiness points? “It seems wasteful, when you have a free option. Besides, this seems more random, somehow. Like the kids' traits will be. Random!”
  6. 6. Well, I'm still gonna eat watermelon. I want girls! “Fine, fine. So, your guests are here. Want to get the party started?” Heck, yes! I wonder what my good friends will give me! Emilie: Wow! She's chomping right through that tough watermelon shell! And I thought I had sharp teeth!
  7. 7. Felix: Yaaay! Me first! Emilie: Booo! I wanted to go first.
  8. 8. Felix: I got a mistletoe! How appropriate! I hung it up in the front entryway, so we can block traffic with kissing anyone who passes under it. You're just using that as an excuse for flirty times, aren't you, Felix? Felix: Why would you say that?
  9. 9. Octavia: We plumbots like gifts, too!
  10. 10. Octavia: Coal? Really? Whose bright idea was that? Hey, at least it's useful if I buy a fireplace or a coal-burning stove. I got some weird amphib-clop “plush” toy that I can't do anything with except give it to someone else.
  11. 11. Niner: My turn. Wish me luck.
  12. 12. Niner: Yaaay! A fishbowl! Mistress, may I please have one of the wonderful fish from your collection, and put it in my beautiful shiny fishbowl? Uh, OK. But you have to take care of it. If you let it die, I'll be put out. Niner: But, Mistress, my programming does not include caring for live fish. Well, the shiny fishbowl is pretty, anyway.
  13. 13. Rick: I am excited to open my present. I hope it's good.
  14. 14. Rick: I got coal, too. I think I'll invest in a stove, just to spite my Secret Gift-Giver.
  15. 15. Emelie: My turn. I do not hold out much hope for a brilliant gift this year.
  16. 16. Emilie: Yay! I got something, and I'm not telling anyone what it is. But it's better than coal, I'll say that much.
  17. 17. Emelie: Now, will someone please feed me, before I starve here in your living room? I know I called you to eat the angel food cake. Why don't we try that again? Meantime, I'm very tired, and I'm going to call it a night. The others will keep the guests occupied until the party is over.
  18. 18. Felix: I may be so dumb as to grab food, put it down, and then walk away, but at least I don't pee myself or pass out. “Look, boy, I may be contractually obligated to try to do well with your lives, but I am hoping for peeing and passing out failures. So your bragging here does not impress me.” Felix: Whatever, Voice.
  19. 19. Felix: Yes, I know there were four other dishes out here, but I insisted on making two more. Now feeeeed meeeee!
  20. 20. Felix: Oh, wait. I just realized that food I put down an hour ago is actually edible. I didn't have to pace around the kitchen, putting my jetpack on and off the whole time, complaining about a lack of food. “No kidding!”
  21. 21. Octavia: I know I have a charging station, and that the sun is up and I am outside with the charging-in-the-sun moodlet right now, but I'm still going to siphon off power from this lamp. Because I can. “Yeah, you do you, Octavia.”
  22. 22. I never skated on our home pond, because as a fairy, I just fly and it makes no difference. But I'm glad to see that someone is getting some fun out of it during the winter.
  23. 23. So, yesterday, I cut and consigned a bunch of gems. Today, I went through my fridge, and culled all the lower-quality produce to put up for consignment. As soon as this baby pops out, I'm leaving her with Octavia, and taking Niner and Felix to France, and I need money!
  24. 24. It occurs to me that I should analyze the relics I collect. Did you know that I gathered a full canopic jar collection? I didn't even notice until I started to analyze them.
  25. 25. I had just enough time to analyze the relics I got from Egypt. I got some pretty nice ones! And then, I went into labor. I'm not an apocalypse sim, so I'm going to have the baby properly, in the hospital.
  26. 26. Of course, my husband is too clueless to come with me, so I'm riding a vacuum cleaner, while trying to control the labor pains. Brilliant! I just hope I don't cause a traffic accident along the way!
  27. 27. Felix: Hey! My wife is having a baby! I should follow her to the hospital and see if I can make it in time to catch the baby, as she flies out of my wife's body. “That's not how biology works, but good for you for being present at the birth.” Felix: Yay! I'm a good husband.
  28. 28. Welcome to the world, Bianca! My little girl is insane, as required by the Watcher, and she is also a heavy sleeper, like her Mommy. “Lovely! And? Is she a fairy or a witch?” She's a witch, so she takes after her father in that respect, at least. “Now you just have to do this one more time, and I'll be satisfied.”
  29. 29. “Congratulations, Felix! You wound up with 15,000 happiness points! You must have been cruising really high since the last time I checked. Anyway, you're now a Jetsetter and a Prepared Traveler, to help with the costs of travel and your wife's goal to get a family home in each of the different countries, so your descendants can visit them and stay in a private house, instead of just the base camp. Yay, you!”
  30. 30. Now, this is a much better way to travel. I must admit, being a superstar has its advantages. “Felix, why are you sitting all the way over there? Shouldn't you be cuddling your wife and cooing over the baby, or something?” Felix: Just. Saw. Birth. EYURGH!! I'll never woohoo again. I'm still traumatized. Do you know how birth HAPPENS?!
  31. 31. I wonder which one of the bots used my precious pumpkin supply to create this? They should have used a normal quality pumpkin, instead of the high-quality ones. Grrr. Alright, Octavia, Felix and I are going to sleep before we take our trip, so I'm leaving little Bianca in your hands. Take good care of her. And the garden. In other words, do your job, and don't shirk.
  32. 32. Oh, yeah. She's fine. It's nice to have some help with the little ones. I'll bond with my kids when they're older and more interesting.
  33. 33. I'm going house-hunting in France. Do you have any invigorating elixirs to keep me going? Clerk: Sorry, not today. You'll have to sleep or drink coffee, like most people.
  34. 34. Awww, look! Felix's cousin from the future used his own time portal to come back here and give little Bianca a present. Isn't little Buttons cute? “You realize what you did, don't you?” I started an opportunity to create an imaginary grandchild?
  35. 35. Just in case you crash and burn, Felix, let's try for a baby again, before we leave for France. And if you're too tired afterwards, we can dream of vacationing again. I love those easy visa points!
  36. 36. I'm pregnant, I'm supplied with elixirs and a variety of high quality produce, and some crocodiles, so I should be well prepared for this trip to France. Also, I already have one visa level for France! I just hope I get lucky with the opportunities and can get the level 3 visa quickly, without tomb crawling. I want to build a nice house and plant a nice garden, and buy everything I need to build a nectary here in Moonlight Falls!
  37. 37. Time to go to France and ensure that my descendants have a better place to stay than the base camp. Even if they never get a visa level, they'll still have a good home, once I'm done. We have plenty of time, because Felix, Octavia, and I are all Prepared Travelers. “I thought you were leaving Octavia at home, because she's the RoboNanny.”
  38. 38. Oops. Do you think Niner will manage with Bianca while we're gone? “Well, technically it's only a few hours, from Niner's and Bianca's point of view, and Bianca's currently in the green, so... yes? I hope.” You're right! She'll be fine. Let's go!
  39. 39. OK, Felix, you do you, while I take Octavia someplace to be useful. I guess she can fish for snails and crawfish in the river, or else she can go gardening at the nectary. Either way, I'm going to focus on visa adventures. See you when I see you. Give me a call if you need me.
  40. 40. Hi! So, I'm supposed to interview you for some visa points? Do you have something to say about French cuisine?
  41. 41. I can sleep in the museum if I want to. If they didn't want us sleeping in this bed, they would have roped it off, like the rest of the exhibits.
  42. 42. Going for a jog around town netted me enough visa points for level 2. Just one more level to go! “Now, if you would just stop randomly eating the perfect produce you brought with you, for your garden, you'll be doing really well.” Haha. You think you can stop me, just because I'm a torch-holder? Hah! I'm almost as uncontrollable as my husband.
  43. 43. I could sleep practically anywhere, with my fairy house, but I'm here already, checking for adventures, so why not?
  44. 44. Time for a nice, long-lasting mood-booster. Plus, I rolled the wish for it, worth 2500 points! “Gads. You're going to be a young adult, even when you're a grandmother and your husband has died of old age.” Probably! Teehee!
  45. 45. “What is this face?!” I was just sent a Margueret Vaguester, for being a celebrity. “That's great! It's, like, the best car in existence, isn't it?” Yeah. But it's the wrong color! “Wow. Diva much?”
  46. 46. I can't believe it took four tries just to get you into the same bed with me. And the paparazzi are relentless. I want privacy!
  47. 47. And now that we've finally had a chance to woohoo, I have no choice but to get up and get in bed with some random person, while you use the toilet and then return to the same bed where we were. Rania: Diamonds aren't a brunette's best friends, if gentlemen prefer blondes.
  48. 48. There's nothing available at all today that doesn't involve tomb crawling. I guess I'm going fishing! Come on, Octavia! Let's go catch those fishies!
  49. 49. Felix: I am off on a date! Wish me luck! “I wish you won't get caught and break up your marriage with Ariel? Because you're a Prepared Traveler, and she still needs visa levels in France and China and time is of the essence?” Felix: Good enough. Anyway, I need to leave the base camp, before I go stir crazy.
  50. 50. “Well, this is going better than your last date. At least this time, she stuck around to converse with you. Still, I'd be happy if you keep it platonic.” Felix: If she flirts with me, I will flirt back. It's who I am. Don't judge me.
  51. 51. “Oh, wow! It's true what they say about mimes being popular in France. I can't believe Felix ditched his date to watch a mime.” Felix: Mimes are cool. Don't judge me. “I'm not judging you for that, Felix. I also like mimes. I just never expected to see one here.”
  52. 52. “Felix, you are getting pretty good with that magical skill.” Felix: That's right. Don't mess with me, or I'll mess with you.
  53. 53. Felix: I can flyyyyyy! “Maybe you should go back to base camp before you pass out?” Felix: Fly! FOREVER!
  54. 54. I'll get my husband back to base camp, safe and sound, with a lure he can't resist.
  55. 55. “Whaddya know? You got him to sleep in the same bed with you, too!” Yes, once we shooed the paparazzi away.
  56. 56. Flergle! I lost four friends and have bad moodlets for days, because I was “caught woohooing in public.” This room OUGHT to be private, but nooooooo! “Hopefully, you'll have better luck with the adventures today.” I had better! Now really, with moodlets like that, can you blame me for fixing myself some ambrosia?
  57. 57. Would you PLEASE get out of the way? I'm trying to earn some visa points, here, and you've been standing there for two hours, or more! Felix: I'm just a heartbreaker, breaking hearts. You're breaking my heart, and wasting my time and money. MOVE!
  58. 58. Grumblemumble. Nobody cleans up after themselves, and they just leave broken appliances running all over the place! I am wasting valuable time, here, people! “I see your success at cooking three excellent meals for the cafe owner has left you in a sparkling mood.” Broken plumbing all over the base camp!
  59. 59. Felix: I singed myself and the stove, but I'm not dirty enough to take a shower. Nope! I'm just gonna play around in the puddles, and maybe fool around with magic, again. “So, you're intent on burning to death, instead of crashing? OK. You know, there's a certain frenchman I wouldn't mind seeing in this family.” Felix: Maybe I will take a shower, after all.
  60. 60. Thanks to the tabloids, Felix was no longer in love with me, like those others who stopped being my friend, because of the public woohoo. It took all day to woo him back to being in love with me and willing to woohoo, which was necessary just to get him into the shower, and unsinged. So much for visa points today!
  61. 61. So, Octavia, you missed all the excitement. First of all, Felix nearly set himself on fire, and was too stupid to shower away the singed moodlet, so I had to waste all day wooing him into the shower, and then got hit with a double-scandal! One for woohooing “in public,” even though there was no one on the entire floor, and the second for woohooing with an occult sim, despite the facts that he is my husband, and I'm occult, myself!
  62. 62. Is this going to be a multi-step quest? I really need several steps that don't involve tomb crawling and checking every day, because the options aren't available. Jules: Yes, this is going to be several steps, right here in the nectary. No tomb crawling involved. Hooray!
  63. 63. Considering that I already have level 10 Nectarology, and a handiness level of 10, thanks to the brain doozit at home, this will be the easiest questline, yet! “Brain doozit?” You know, that machine they sell for the university students, that helps them learn new skills. I learned Nectarology and Martial Arts at home.
  64. 64. You cheated on me! Here I am, busting my buns to get this family settled with a proper, private vacation home, so that we can woohoo without scandal, and you cheated on me! Felix: Aww, come on, babe. I was more interested in the mime, than the girl. I swear!
  65. 65. As far as I'm concerned, we aren't even friends anymore. We're barely acquaintances. So, if you still want to live with me and be part of a legacy, you need to step it up, Mister! Felix: Oh, yeah? Well, you've been ignoring me. I'm going stir crazy here, so you should have been here with me, and taken me out of this place, and it's your fault! Yeah!
  66. 66. I only brought you here to the museum because it's worth 500 points, and the Voice told me to. I think I should just break up with you and marry that rich French dude. “That's a real possiblity, but consider that we've already sunk 15,000 points into making him a Prepared Traveller and a Jetsetter. Why not dump him and marry the French guy after you get level 3 visa for China? We won't need his benefits then.”
  67. 67. Ugh. Fine. I'll repair the relationship. See, this is where one of those potions of friendship, or whatever they're called, would come in really handy. Did I bring one with me? “No, you left them at home for future generations to use, because you have level 10 charisma and all the charisma challenges done. It shouldn't take you too long to at least befriend the man again. Now hurry up, because you still need a smidge of visa points.”
  68. 68. Jeannine: Wow! You're a superstar! Let me interrupt you to get your autograph, while I say how attractive your husband is. Felix: This woman is very attractive. I want to flirt with her. You know what? Fine. We're friends again, and that's enough for me. I'm going to go work on visa points again. You do you, but keep it on the downlow.
  69. 69. Life as roommates. I do want you to stay in the family and in our children's lives, but not really be my husband, anymore. “I'm so glad you tried for a baby again before this trip. I knew he was risky. Just remember, you can't replace him as your husband until you have your vacation homes in all three countries.”
  70. 70. Are you quite sure about that, Voice? I really like this guy, and I think he'll be a lot safer, as a husband. “You got that right. He's not flirty or likely to cheat on you. Also, he's rich! He's also insane, which makes him perfectly appropriate for an ISBI. You would have to have another baby with him, but if you're up for a third pregnancy, why not have him move in with you, as a friend, and marry him back home, after you divorce Felix?”
  71. 71. So, Jean Luc, do you like to travel? Would you like to see the world? More precisely, would you like to see the world with me and my family? I can offer you a potion of youth, and we have two plumbots to help around the house. I do have a husband I'll have to ditch, eventually, but I still need him for China. But we can just be friends until then. What do you say?
  72. 72. Jean Luc: That sounds great. I'll sell my home and furnishings at once! “He must have been selling at a dead loss to get it done quickly, because he had a house worth over $100,000, but he only brought $20,000 with him. Still, that's better than the $1,000 you got from Felix. Oh, and by the way, he's a gold digger. He wants to see you dead.”
  73. 73. Jean Luc: Excuse me. I'm going to the base camp, where I will hang out and annoy Felix. Great. What have I done? “You got $20,000, a new father for a new child, and you are under no obligation to let him outlive you. IF you want to make him an occult, for the child's sake, make him a genie, with a regular lifespan.”
  74. 74. Felix, meet my new friend, Jean Luc. He'll be living with us from now on. We'll just be a bunch of friendly roommates. Felix: OK. Now, will you please get out of the way, so I can fix the sink? Again? “I thought you could fix plumbing permanently. Must be glitched.”
  75. 75. “Let me get this straight. You sold your house for a pittance AND you gave up your French citizenship, so you are now listed as a tourist with no visa points, at all?” Jean Luc: That's right. “Yep. You're insane, alright.”
  76. 76. “HOW do you keep doing that? Ariel has achieved the plumber challenge long ago, and has fixed that sink I don't know how many times, so it should be unbreakable! How do you do it?!” Felix: I'm talented. “You're horrible! Go play with your jet pack.”
  77. 77. Felix, I give you the gift of Inner Beauty! May you become a wiser, more beautiful person inside. Felix: Ooooh! Beauty! I like it!
  78. 78. Felix: Wait, what?! I said, “Inner Beauty,” Felix, not outer. You'll look like that for a day or so, unless you find a way to lift it sooner. It's not so bad. It's a great time to train charisma! Felix: I'm not going to autonomously train charisma. This is going to wreak havok on my dates. Unless flirting will lift it. HA!
  79. 79. Hooray! I am level 3 with my French Visa and can buy an empty lot, so we can build a house for the family. I want to build it, myself, instead of buying pre-made, because 1) it's cheaper, and 2) I can design it, myself. For now, we'll just get the basics, because I need to save money for something at home, as well as for the trip to China. Once we have the basics, everywhere, we can expand from there. “Good plan, Ariel! Congratulations!”
  80. 80. For now, it's just the bare basics: Eat, sleep, poop and polish, for the whole household, plus two easels and a chess board, and a storage chest for organizing our stuff. I could have built more, but this already cost more than Jean Luc brought into the household. There is plenty of room for expansion, though, and I'm definitely planting another garden here.
  81. 81. I added a fenced-in garden area, with sprinklers in case anyone decides to come without the plumbots to take care of the garden for them. We can grow produce for food and nectar, although until we have more money, we might as well take our fruit to the Nectary and use the free nectar machines there. I bought some to take home, to build our hown nectary at Moonlight Falls, however.
  82. 82. Now Octavia and I can just spend the rest of our time here planting the garden, fishing, and perhaps upgrading some of the appliances in the house. I'm quite pleased with this vacation home, although I do look forward to expanding it.
  83. 83. Our first night here is a full moon. What fun! Jean Luc: Don't attack me, zombie! I'm too busy choking myself! At least Felix had the sense to come into the fenced area, safe from attack. That reminds me: I need to go back to Egypt and add a fence around the garden area there, as well. Those zombies will eat all the plants, if I'm not careful.
  84. 84. Jean Luc: Aaaaah! I'm being attacked! I need a weapon! Where's a wrench when you need one? Zombie: You fool. You can't fix zombieism with a wrench. Jean Luc: But, I want to learn handiness skill! Now's the best time for that, right? Zombies boost your brain power, right? I'll upgrade everything, and that will scare you away!
  85. 85. Jean Luc: Voice, why aren't I learning handiness skill? “Ummm, because you delayed the zombie long enough for you to come inside? Why don't you play chess, or something, instead? Loook, there's a niiiiice chess table. Nice and safe! Jean Luc: I think I want to go outside and slap someone, just because the moon is full. It's fun!
  86. 86. Felix: This French Toast is so beautiful, and I am so hungry. Octavia: I am the food putter-away-monster! I will put away every dish you get from the synthesizer, before you have a chance to eat it! “Seriously? You guys, you've been at this for over an hour, and the fridge has so many leftovers in it, that have not been touched. Octavia, just walk away and let the man eat!”
  87. 87. Jean Luc, the fridge is full of leftovers. Why are you cooking? Jean Luc: I like to cook. I have eight skill points. You have a problem with this? Well, as long as you don't burn the house down, I guess not. It just seems a bit wasteful, but you'll probably get a better moodlet, anyway, so go ahead. I'm going to work on upgrades for the last day.
  88. 88. It's good to have the garden as automated as possible. I should put sprinklers in the greenhouse at home, too. Octavia and Niner keep getting distracted, and I have to send them back to work, so if I can cut out the watering step for them, maybe they'll be able to finish in time, without me getting on their backs about it.
  89. 89. Felix: Hi, there, sprite. So, I was doing a spell, and I singed myself and broke the dishwasher. Pretty neat, huh? You better take a shower, you fool! Felix: I'm just gonna stand here and talk to my electronic friend, while blocking the path for you to repair the dishwasher.
  90. 90. YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE! “Seriously, what's up with this guy? He just walked right up and broke the dishwasher!! I don't think it's his spells backfiring. I think he's literally breaking things, magically, on purpose! Just as soon as you fix something, he breaks it again!” Voice, are you sure we need him for China? Can't I just take two trips?
  91. 91. This layout doesn't lend itself to sprinklers. Once again, I'll have to let everything grow through its lifespan, die, and then be replanted in a new place, with a new pattern, this time incorporating sprinklers. Hopefully, though, the money tree will not be stuck, and I'll be able to keep it going and even expand my money tree collection, again.
  92. 92. “Hahahahahaha! Now this is starting to show some possibilities!” I love being a heavy sleeper! “I see you haven't built an actual nursery, yet, let alone extra bedrooms.” I'm too tired. I'll do it next chapter.
  93. 93. Felix: Please, let us sleep. Jean Luc: SHUT UP! “Keeeep plaaaaayiiiing!”
  94. 94. “Awwww. No failures for me. Darn this functional family.” Speaking of functional, I have a “faithful” moodlet, while my husband does not. So, how long do I get to keep that? Until he's dead and I marry Jean Luc? “Wait, dead? I thought you wanted him to stay in your daughters' lives? Now you're planning to kill him?”
  95. 95. Well, she's too young to know, and her sister isn't born, yet. I could build a little room with nothing but a food synthesizer, and lock him in there. He could give you fails all over the place, and survive forever, with food to eat. Wait, then I couldn't marry Jean Luc. “Maybe give him a chance to kill himself with his own magic? Frankly, I'd love to see that. Besides, you have time. There's still your trip to China, and who knows what might happen, once you get there.”
  96. 96. Buttons: Heehee! Voice is plotting something. “I AM NOT! Well, nothing specific. It's just that he keeps singeing himself, and I am really curious to see if he'll manage to kill himself that way. I say, give him time to do the job, himself, before you start building killing rooms or death pools or what-have-you. Besides, if you do build a killing room, don't give him a food synthesizer. Give him jelly beans and a philosopher's stone.”
  97. 97. So, ummmmm, do you have any, ummmmm, anything to get rid of a cheating husband? Clerk: We sell potent jars of discord. You can divorce him in a jiffy! Well... I'll buy the potion, thanks. It's not exactly what I had in mind. Clerk: And then, you can turn him into a clown, so the whole world laughs at him... FOREVER!
  98. 98. Homelessness and humiliation! I like it! Now that is something I can really look forward to. “No jelly beans?” You are contractually obliged to TRY to earn positive points, not set up “accidental” deaths for negative points, Voice. Now behave. I won't murder him, when I can destroy him, instead.
  99. 99. Face it, Voice. We're not Idanezys. At least not, this generation. Have patience, and I'm sure my grandchildren will be passing out and peeing themselves all over the place. Remember, it took a while for your idols to get there, too. “You're right. And they did set an impressively low bar to crawl under. Well, better luck next chapter, I hope? See you then.”
  100. 100. The points: Self-wetting: 1 x -5 = -5 Failing school : n x -5 = y NPC visit: n x -5 = y Passing Out: 2 x -5 = -10 Accidental Deaths: n x -10 = y Social Worker Visit: n x -15 = y Birth: n x +5 = y Twin Birth: n x +10 = y Triplet Birth: n x +15 = y Fulfilling LTW: n x +40 = y Honour roll: n x +5 = y Randomizing every LTW choice and trait for a whole generation of children: n x +10 = y Portrait of the torch holders somewhere in the house: n x +5 = y Having a spouse reach the top of their career: n x +10 = y Every $100,000: 5 x +20 = +100 (Yoinked Lotto winnings. I'll count the rest at the end.)