Introduction to coaching day 2. Opportunity is N O W H E R E or Opportunity is N O W H E R E ? The first day covered goal setting and two tools that are useful in creating achievable goals, the wheel of life and the GROW model (seehttp://www.tinyurl.com/coaching4beginners). The question at the end of day one was "do you truly believe you can achieve your goals?"Your beliefs are the rules you create around how the world works. Different people havedifferent rules or beliefs. Just because you and I create a set of rules doesnt mean theyare right and true. Problems really arise when we create rules that constrain or limit us.When that happens we often put our goals on Someday IsleIt looks like a nice place but, you wont move your goals forward.Common limiting beliefs include: • If I follow my passion I wont be able to pay the bills • I am too old to make change my life around • I dont know where to start • I lack confidence
• People will laugh at me or ridicule me if I tell them my dreams and goals • I am better off staying with what I knowYour limiting beliefs can often be heard in your mind-chatter or the voices in your head.Interestingly, children until around 4 vocalise all their thoughts. These thoughts can bechecked and changed by mum & dad or other responsible adults if they are hindering andunhelpful. Past this age, we are left on our own to do this. We often do it badly! This iswhere a coach can really help by recognising, catching and reflecting back a limitingbelief.Some clues to identifying limiting beliefs are words like: never, but, cant, must, should,ought and need.Consider if this limiting belief could stop you moving forward toward achieving your goals.To remove a limiting belief you have to want to lose it and be willing to stop believing thatrule you have set.A coach will often look to replace limiting beliefs and construct firm foundations usingempowering beliefs built on real, first-hand evidence.You cant solve a problem with the same mind that created it.Limiting beliefs can also be discovered by getting a client to imagine doing their goal now.If you imagine getting your goal do you feel in your comfort zone, stretch zone, panic zoneor have you had to seek refuge in safety island.Comfort zone; In this zone you probably feel something like; safe, relaxed, competent,familar, confident, chilled, dont think about it. If your goal is here, is procrastination aproblem?Stretch zone; In this zone you might feel challenged, stimulated, learning, worried,developing, tough, change, interesting, uncertain, confused.
This zone is where people can often find themselves being energized, inspired andmotivated by being in flow (read Daniel Pinks book Drive) as a new skill is developed in acontrolled way.Panic Zone; is full of stress, fear, pain, overwhelm and palpitations. Achieving a goal isabout process and journey as well as the end result. The journey will involve effort andfocus. If you avoid process, as the deadline of your goal approaches, you are likely tojump from comfort to PANIC!If you recognise you are in the panic zone or Panic zone you think you cant but justimagine for a second that maybe, it was possible for you to do. If that feels Ok, what wouldyou need to be able to take a small step toward your goal? and the next step, and the nextstep?Sometimes, this might lead to an intermediate goal. If we liken attaining our goals like amilitary campaign, the goal is a target that between you and it lies no mans land. Nomans land is dangerous. Going up and over into this terrain takes a brave person. Anintermediate goal is a safe step to take toward your target that avoids the perils of nomans land. An intermediate goal is one that is either in the safety zone or stretch zone.Once the goal is defined: • With the deadline date stated in the present • Specific • Uses only positive language • Includes evidence that can be checked by the Goal AuditorsAffirm it. Repeat it. With passion. Sing it. Proclaim it. Write post it notes, send yourselfpostcards with it on. Then monitor your progress. Check how you are doing. Check yourbelief the goal is still achievable. If so, great. If not, look again at the goal and make thenecessary adjustments.