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5 reasons mentoring relationships fail

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Ann Rolfe of Mentoring Works shares 5 reasons mentoring relationships fail and 5 secrets of success. Then offers 5 steps to set yourself up for success from the start.

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5 reasons mentoring relationships fail

  1. 1. 5 Reasons Mentoring Relationships Fail - and how to make sure yours doesn’t! Ann Rolfe
  2. 2. Mentoring is critical to Career success and satisfaction
  3. 3. It offers significant benefits to both mentors and mentorees
  4. 4. But mentoring is not always effective
  5. 5. Straus, S., Johnson, M., Marquesz, C., and Feldman, M. (2013) Characteristics of Successful and Failed Mentoring Relationships Acad Med January 2013; 88(1): 82-89 Recent research in an academic setting identified 5 characteristics of failed mentoring relationships
  6. 6. Straus, S., Johnson, M., Marquesz, C., and Feldman, M. (2013) Characteristics of Successful and Failed Mentoring Relationships Acad Med January 2013; 88(1): 82-89 The good news is they also revealed 5 characteristics of successful mentoring!
  7. 7. Features of Failure (so you can avoid them)
  8. 8. #1 Poor communication
  9. 9. #2 lack of commitment
  10. 10. #3 Personality differences
  11. 11. #4 Perceived (or real) competition
  12. 12. #5 Mentor’s lack of experience
  13. 13. Secrets of Success (so you can apply them)
  14. 14. #1 Reciprocity Development for both mentor and mentoree
  15. 15. #2 Mutual respect
  16. 16. #3 Clear expectations
  17. 17. #4 Personal connection
  18. 18. #5 Shared values Value Value
  19. 19. Features of Failure Secrets of Success Poor Communication Reciprocity Lack of Commitment Mutual Respect Personality Differences Clear Expectations Perceived/Real Competition Personal Connection Mentor’s Lack of Experience Shared Values Summary Straus, S., Johnson, M., Marquesz, C., and Feldman, M. (2013) Characteristics of Successful and Failed Mentoring Relationships Acad Med January 2013; 88(1): 82-89
  20. 20. No one wants to fail
  21. 21. So set yourself up for success! from the start with these 5 steps …
  22. 22. #1 Build Rapport
  23. 23. Look for what you have in common
  24. 24. Personal & professional background Interests, hobbies, sport
  25. 25. Features of Failure Secrets of Success Poor Communication Reciprocity Lack of Commitment Mutual Respect Personality Differences Clear Expectations Perceived/Real Competition Personal Connection Mentor’s Lack of Experience Shared Values Building Rapport develops
  26. 26. #2 Discuss Expectations
  27. 27. Share and clarify what you each want …
  28. 28. Your purpose and goals
  29. 29. Scope and boundary of the relationship
  30. 30. Roles and Responsibilities
  31. 31. Logistics - practical aspects
  32. 32. Features of Failure Secrets of Success Poor Communication Reciprocity Lack of Commitment Mutual Respect Personality Differences Clear Expectations Perceived/Real Competition Personal Connection Mentor’s Lack of Experience Shared Values Discussing Expectations helps deal with:
  33. 33. #3 Create an Agreement
  34. 34. Negotiate ways you will respect each other’s time, needs and differences …
  35. 35. Etiquette - do’s and don’ts Ethics - code of conduct Ground rules/ guidelines
  36. 36. Features of Failure Secrets of Success Poor Communication Reciprocity Lack of Commitment Mutual Respect Personality Differences Clear Expectations Perceived/Real Competition Personal Connection Mentor’s Lack of Experience Shared Values An agreement deals with:
  37. 37. #4 Understand mentoring is a two-way street
  38. 38. Mentoring benefits both parties
  39. 39. ! Both mentors and mentors will develop and grow !
  40. 40. ! ! Mentors are not expected to have all the answers
  41. 41. Mentors listen and ask as much (or more) than they show and tell
  42. 42. Features of Failure Secrets of Success Poor Communication Reciprocity Lack of Commitment Mutual Respect Personality Differences Clear Expectations Perceived/Real Competition Personal Connection Mentor’s Lack of Experience Shared Values Seeing mentoring as two-way deals with
  43. 43. #5 Schedule a Review
  44. 44. What you’ve achieved ! What’s working well ! What you’d prefer to do differently ! After a few meetings have a conversation about:
  45. 45. Confirm your commitment to continue mentoring A review allows you to:
  46. 46. ! Seek additional ! support, guidance ! or resources Or
  47. 47. ! Or, Agree to exit the relationship without fault or failure
  48. 48. Available in ebook or hardcopy www.mentoring-works.com
  49. 49. I’m Ann Rolfe! I’ve specialised in mentoring since 1994. ! I provide consulting, mentoring workshops, keynotes, books and online learning based on adult learning, and career development ! Visit ! www.mentoring-works.com ! Contact! ann@mentoring-works.com +61 2 4342 2610

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