Writing Craziness: how I became a creative writer and human being (and you can, too!)

Melissa Yuan-Innes
Melissa Yuan-InnesEmergency physician at Cornwall Community Hospital
Writing Craziness 
My crooked path toward a writing career 
by Melissa Yi/Yuan-Innes/Yuan/Yin
First Plan: Artist/Ballerina 
Turned out I 
liked tutus 
more than 
ballet.
Stubborn 
a.k.a. Don’t make me point at the mermaid 
“A woman writer must have an imagination that is plain stubborn, that can invent 
new gods and banish ineffectual ones.” -Yvonne Vera, Zimbabwean author
Germany=writing 
When I was ten, my parents moved me to foreign country with 
few English books. I was an outcast. Solution? Write.
Permission to Write 
“Who gave you permission to be a poet?” Jim White, quoted by Natalie Goldberg in Wild Mind 
My answer: 
Matt, my high 
school 
boyfriend.
University of everything 
For university, I studied 
the Arts and Sciences 
and Psychology. And 
dressed up as 
Odysseus’s Penelope for 
Hallowe’en. 
'If you don't know where you are going, 
any road can take you there.' 
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
“I’ll just be a doctor AND a 
writer. It’ll give me something 
to write about.” --Me, fourth year
“Skin Song” 
I wrote about music and cadavers, 
won 2nd place in Writers of the 
Future & attended a professional 
writing workshop in Oregon. With 
a dancing cow. 
I could have worked toward a contract to write a medical “for Dummies” book.
Instead, I wrote about a girl who 
could tell the future using popcorn.
I wrote vampires & wizards
Bonobo-human hybrids... 
I sold some stories and poems, 
won a few awards, but couldn’t 
get a traditional New York book 
contract. 
I wanted a time machine so I 
could go after that Dummies 
book. Why was I writing so 
many stories no one would 
read?
Still, I kept writing. Stubborn. 
It wasn’t until I graduated that I could write about medicine.
Medical non-fiction, too. 
60 APRIL 20, 2010 CanadianHealthcareNetwork.ca THE MEDICAL POST 
last laugh 
“JUST READ MY CHART 
from last night,” said the irri-tated 
patient, an elderly man. 
I pointed at the current 
ER chart on my clipboard. 
“Your previous records haven’t 
arrived yet. I know from your 
triage note that you had a 
bloody nose and you were here 
last night, but it’s no longer 
bleeding. So, what did they do 
for you last night?” 
“Just read my chart,” he 
repeated indignantly. 
by Melissa 
Yuan-Innes 
“I don’t have your chart, 
sir. It’s at medical records and 
it will take a while to come. 
Could you tell me what kind of 
treatment you received?” 
“Just. Read. My. Chart.” 
I changed the subject: “Are 
you taking any medications?” 
“I’m healthy,” he said. 
Not wanting to explain that 
many people feel healthy but 
take medications, I continued 
trying to ask questions: “Are 
you taking any blood thinners, 
like Coumadin, or antiplatelet 
medications, such as Aspirin or 
Plavix?” 
“I’m healthy!” 
“So that’s a no, then?” 
“NO! I’M HEALTHY.” 
Just before giving up and 
moving on to the physical 
exam, I decided to entreat 
him one last time: “Sir, it takes 
time to get your old charts 
and sometimes they get lost. 
It’s in your own best interest 
to explain what happened and 
what medications you take.” 
He didn’t answer. I looked 
up his nose, which still wasn’t 
bleeding, and decided to insert 
some Gelfoam to prevent any 
problem and thereby discour-age 
him from coming back on 
my shift. 
When I walked back to the 
central nursing station, which 
was surrounded by 13 stretch-ers 
full of patients waiting for 
me, the elderly man hollered 
for all to hear: “You are the 
most unfeeling doctor I have 
ever met!” 
I paused and considered 
walking back to talk to him, 
but decided to get on with 
more pressing matters instead. 
I had to finish seeing all the 
ambulatory patients and close 
down this department of the 
emergency room before I could 
go home. An hour later, I did 
go back to check the elderly 
man’s nose again but his condi-tion 
hadn’t changed. 
A teaching moment? 
Buddhists believe life is your 
best teacher. So that abusive 
patient was supposed to be my 
teacher, but it made me mad to 
think of him that way. 
A few days later, I told my 
book club about the incident 
and concluded: “So I had to 
finish my shift, knowing that 
every other patient in the 
room thought I was a heartless 
doctor.” 
“No,” two of my friends said. 
“If I heard a patient like that, I’d 
feel sorry for the doctor.” 
Another friend laughed and 
said, “I. Love. Your. Stories!” 
For the first time, I saw that 
it was kind of funny. 
In the end, I decided that 
if I were to treat someone like 
that elderly man again, I’d say: 
“I can see you’re angry. So, you 
can be angry at me, but I’m not 
angry at you.” 
Sure, I may come off as a 
New Age fruitcake, but at least 
I would be showing him com-passion 
instead of, say, wanting 
to offer him another nosebleed. 
Hey, look at me, I’m enlight-ened 
already! 
Melissa Yuan-Innes is an emer-gency 
physician in Cornwall 
and Alexandria, Ont. For more 
of her writing, go to 
www.melissayuaninnes.net. 
Channel your inner Buddha 
to achieve peace with patients 
When the ER is fraught with angry patients, just enlighten up 
Dave Whamond
Writing Craziness: how I became a creative writer and human being (and you can, too!)
( !+,)( 
 
!(0
  ( !+,)( 

.,-)'!+
 !+%
 
$-!
  +. 
#$**,()
  

))+
  
 
$1!
  2/	2 
.$-$)(
 
 
The Medical Post was 
very, very good to me.
CBC 
The publishing world was in 
upheaval, so I stubbornly approached 
the CBC. They offered me a contract 
for a pilot radio drama. Finally, my 
dreams were coming true! 
Except they didn’t end up producing it. 
And then the whole radio drama 
department was cancelled. Note to self: 
public radio in upheaval, too. Also, arts 
cuts BAD.
I took control.
1 of 17

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Writing Craziness: how I became a creative writer and human being (and you can, too!)

  • 1. Writing Craziness My crooked path toward a writing career by Melissa Yi/Yuan-Innes/Yuan/Yin
  • 2. First Plan: Artist/Ballerina Turned out I liked tutus more than ballet.
  • 3. Stubborn a.k.a. Don’t make me point at the mermaid “A woman writer must have an imagination that is plain stubborn, that can invent new gods and banish ineffectual ones.” -Yvonne Vera, Zimbabwean author
  • 4. Germany=writing When I was ten, my parents moved me to foreign country with few English books. I was an outcast. Solution? Write.
  • 5. Permission to Write “Who gave you permission to be a poet?” Jim White, quoted by Natalie Goldberg in Wild Mind My answer: Matt, my high school boyfriend.
  • 6. University of everything For university, I studied the Arts and Sciences and Psychology. And dressed up as Odysseus’s Penelope for Hallowe’en. 'If you don't know where you are going, any road can take you there.' ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
  • 7. “I’ll just be a doctor AND a writer. It’ll give me something to write about.” --Me, fourth year
  • 8. “Skin Song” I wrote about music and cadavers, won 2nd place in Writers of the Future & attended a professional writing workshop in Oregon. With a dancing cow. I could have worked toward a contract to write a medical “for Dummies” book.
  • 9. Instead, I wrote about a girl who could tell the future using popcorn.
  • 10. I wrote vampires & wizards
  • 11. Bonobo-human hybrids... I sold some stories and poems, won a few awards, but couldn’t get a traditional New York book contract. I wanted a time machine so I could go after that Dummies book. Why was I writing so many stories no one would read?
  • 12. Still, I kept writing. Stubborn. It wasn’t until I graduated that I could write about medicine.
  • 13. Medical non-fiction, too. 60 APRIL 20, 2010 CanadianHealthcareNetwork.ca THE MEDICAL POST last laugh “JUST READ MY CHART from last night,” said the irri-tated patient, an elderly man. I pointed at the current ER chart on my clipboard. “Your previous records haven’t arrived yet. I know from your triage note that you had a bloody nose and you were here last night, but it’s no longer bleeding. So, what did they do for you last night?” “Just read my chart,” he repeated indignantly. by Melissa Yuan-Innes “I don’t have your chart, sir. It’s at medical records and it will take a while to come. Could you tell me what kind of treatment you received?” “Just. Read. My. Chart.” I changed the subject: “Are you taking any medications?” “I’m healthy,” he said. Not wanting to explain that many people feel healthy but take medications, I continued trying to ask questions: “Are you taking any blood thinners, like Coumadin, or antiplatelet medications, such as Aspirin or Plavix?” “I’m healthy!” “So that’s a no, then?” “NO! I’M HEALTHY.” Just before giving up and moving on to the physical exam, I decided to entreat him one last time: “Sir, it takes time to get your old charts and sometimes they get lost. It’s in your own best interest to explain what happened and what medications you take.” He didn’t answer. I looked up his nose, which still wasn’t bleeding, and decided to insert some Gelfoam to prevent any problem and thereby discour-age him from coming back on my shift. When I walked back to the central nursing station, which was surrounded by 13 stretch-ers full of patients waiting for me, the elderly man hollered for all to hear: “You are the most unfeeling doctor I have ever met!” I paused and considered walking back to talk to him, but decided to get on with more pressing matters instead. I had to finish seeing all the ambulatory patients and close down this department of the emergency room before I could go home. An hour later, I did go back to check the elderly man’s nose again but his condi-tion hadn’t changed. A teaching moment? Buddhists believe life is your best teacher. So that abusive patient was supposed to be my teacher, but it made me mad to think of him that way. A few days later, I told my book club about the incident and concluded: “So I had to finish my shift, knowing that every other patient in the room thought I was a heartless doctor.” “No,” two of my friends said. “If I heard a patient like that, I’d feel sorry for the doctor.” Another friend laughed and said, “I. Love. Your. Stories!” For the first time, I saw that it was kind of funny. In the end, I decided that if I were to treat someone like that elderly man again, I’d say: “I can see you’re angry. So, you can be angry at me, but I’m not angry at you.” Sure, I may come off as a New Age fruitcake, but at least I would be showing him com-passion instead of, say, wanting to offer him another nosebleed. Hey, look at me, I’m enlight-ened already! Melissa Yuan-Innes is an emer-gency physician in Cornwall and Alexandria, Ont. For more of her writing, go to www.melissayuaninnes.net. Channel your inner Buddha to achieve peace with patients When the ER is fraught with angry patients, just enlighten up Dave Whamond
  • 15. ( !+,)( !(0 ( !+,)( .,-)'!+ !+% $-! +. #$**,() ))+ $1! 2/ 2 .$-$)( The Medical Post was very, very good to me.
  • 16. CBC The publishing world was in upheaval, so I stubbornly approached the CBC. They offered me a contract for a pilot radio drama. Finally, my dreams were coming true! Except they didn’t end up producing it. And then the whole radio drama department was cancelled. Note to self: public radio in upheaval, too. Also, arts cuts BAD.
  • 19. Still working. Still writing. Over! Under! Through! Grover version As for my high school boyfriend? Reader, I married him.