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Lovingly Assertive Boundary-Setting


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You cannot succeed in today's work environment without creating structures that give you time to focus and be productive. In this SlideShare, you'll learn 3 steps for drawing good boundaries and a 4-step process for lovingly asserting them when others resist.

Published in: Self Improvement
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Lovingly Assertive Boundary-Setting

  1. 1. Lovingly Assertive Boundary- Setting CREATING STRUCTURE THAT EMPOWERS YOU AND YOUR TEAM
  2. 2. My name is Megan Leatherman, and I'm an HR Consultant and Career Coach who focuses on how to make our work more human-friendly. HELLO!
  3. 3. Today, I'm expanding upon a concept I wrote about in a recent blog post titled "How to Gracefully Choose Between Work and Life" Clickhereto readthepost
  4. 4. Drawing good boundaries in your work is essential to success in today's hectic climate. Why Do Boundaries Matter? Boundaries allow you to: - Get more done in less time - Feel less stressed throughout your day - Effectively support others - Be present in all that you do
  5. 5. Many of our workplaces are blatantly anti-boundary. We bombard one another with emails and meeting requests even though we know we need quiet time to focus on our work and take care of ourselves. An Anti-Boundary Climate
  6. 6. We can draw and enforce good boundaries in a way that's loving - toward ourselves and those around us. It Doesn't Have to Be That Way
  7. 7. Get clear about what you will and won't do at work Set up structure to support your boundaries Communicate openly and assertively about your boundaries 3 Ways to Draw Good Boundaries:
  8. 8. It's impossible to set good boundaries without knowing where your lines are. Step 1: Get Clear Some Clarifying Questions to Consider: How much are you willing to work each week? How much quiet time do you need each day to succeed in your role? Is your work environment conducive to success? If not, what needs to change? What kind of work are you willing to do and not do?
  9. 9. Support your boundaries with some structure. Step 2: Set the Structure Structure Could Look Like: Blocking off "quiet working time" on your calendar Turning off all distractions like phones and email while you're focusing deeply Setting aside 1­2 days/week for working at home Limiting the number of meetings you'll attend per day
  10. 10. It's not fair to constantly surprise your team with boundaries or assert them harshly. Step 3: Communicate How to Lovingly Communicate Your Boundaries: Make sure your team knows why boundaries are important to you (they'll enable you to get more done, focus deeply, and be a more effective source of support). Be open about the new structures you're implementing and the best times/ways for them to reach you. Encourage them to set their own boundaries and then be sure you respect them.
  11. 11. This won't be easy, but it is necessary. Enforcing the Boundaries If the idea of closing your office door or shutting off email for an hour feels terrifying, it's okay. Our workplaces are usually boundary­less places, where interruptions and "urgency" run amok. This will take some real effort, but it will enable you to do work that truly matters, and I promise the payoff will be worth it.
  12. 12. Some resistance you might get as you do this: - "You need to be more available" - "You can't successfully work with others if you're not reachable by chat or email" - "We need you to keep up with the fast-paced culture of our company" People May Fight It...
  13. 13. Even though your boss or team members may kick and scream at first, trust that: - The results will speak for themselves. You'll show up more present, focused, and productive than people without any boundaries. - They want the same thing, they just haven't given themselves permission to do so. - You're doing what's best for your own sanity and professional success. But They Will Get Used to It
  14. 14. Let's say someone tries to schedule a meeting during your clearly-blocked off quiet working time. What now? What To Do When Someone Encroaches
  15. 15. This is where the rubber meets the road. What To Do When Someone Encroaches How to Lovingly Assert Your Boundaries: Take a deep breath. Assume that the other person had good intentions. Re­commit to your boundaries and use this opportunity to model good boundary­setting for others. Communicate your boundaries using the 4­step Non­ Violent Communication method (next slide).
  16. 16. Four steps to asserting your boundaries with kindness: Communicate Your Boundaries State your observation ("I saw that you put a meeting on for 10:00 today.") Acknowledge the feeling ("I know you really want to make more headway on this project...") Assert your need ("but I need that quiet time to focus on my piece of the project.") Request a change ("Would you mind if we rescheduled it for later in the day? I'm free at 2:00 or 4:00.")
  17. 17. You're supposed to stay flexible, right? What About Exceptions? Obviously, we can't control everything, and there are times when we'll have to make exceptions. They should be exceptions, though ­ not the rule. Most of us err on the side of overly accommodating for others, which means we take on too much and burn out. Try being a little less accommodating today and see how it goes.
  18. 18. I hope you'll set aside the time and attention you need to do and be well at work. Do Yourself and Others a Favor
  19. 19. To learn more about me and my work, you can go to: Happy Boundary-Setting! To schedule a free 20-minute Career Coaching consultation, you can go to: dule.php?appointmentType=1142285