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Big Data! Dopey Quotes!


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Better come-backs to the 'Best Quotes about Big Data'

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Big Data! Dopey Quotes!

  1. 1. Big Data? Dopey Quotes? Martyn Jones
  2. 2. “Big data is at the foundation of all the megatrends that are happening today, from social to mobile to cloud to gaming.” "Boloney in a handcart going to hell! If there are people who think that Big Data is anywhere other than on the peripheral edge of a peripheral edge then they clearly need to get out more often and listen to real people.”
  3. 3. “Big data is not about the data” "Say what? Big Data missionaries have always primarily made it about the data, you know, the 3 or 4 or 10 Vs of Big Data and all that jazz. In fact one of the shticks that the Big Data proselytizers have schlepped around is that Data Warehouse can't do bigger data because it can't handle the volumes. What they forget to add is that if you first remove the wheat from the chaff it becomes a non-issue."
  4. 4. “There were 5 exabytes of information created between the dawn of civilization through 2003, but that much information is now created every 2 days.” "Yet another ‘dope’ who thinks that one can calculate the value of data by simply weighing it? A 'sexed up' version of my n exabytes of ignorance is just as good as your 2 exabytes knowledge"
  5. 5. “Information is the oil of the 21st century, and analytics is the combustion engine.” "This assertion is so dopey that it defies the conventional laws of stupid. For the best part of two centuries we have appreciated the power of having the right information and hoped that our enemies trusted in our disinformation. But to compare this with the historic and contemporary use and utility of energy sources, well, it’s off the wall. In a word, the comparison is vapid."
  6. 6. “I keep saying that the sexy job in the next 10 years will be statisticians, and I’m not kidding” “What? When people state weird shit like this I am very wary about asking for clarification."
  7. 7. “You can have data without information, but you cannot have information without data.” “Of course you can have information without data; it's just that we usually associate information with the availability of underlying data, which isn't always the case.”
  8. 8. “Hiding within those mounds of data is knowledge that could change the life of a patient, or change the world.” “Sure! There's gold in them there hills… or not. Isn't that right Madame Soleil?”
  9. 9. Errors using inadequate data are much less than those using no data at all.” “What? Probability might indicate that this claim could possibly be erring on the wrong side of likely. Apart from that, the bizarre and intellectually questionable juxtaposition and conflation of this quote with Big Data is somewhat embarrassing.”
  10. 10. “To call in the statistician after the experiment is done may be no more than asking him to perform a post-mortem – he may be able to say what the experiment died of.” “To call in the statistician after the experiment is done may be no more than asking him to perform a post- mortem – he may be able to say what the experiment died of.”
  11. 11. Without big data, you are blind and deaf in the middle of a freeway” “Has the Cosa Nostra gone into Big Data and Data Science now? Funny, but this looks more like a threat than an observation. Unless of course the observation was the result of forty ‘doobie snacks’.”
  12. 12. Big Data! Dopey Quotes! Martyn Jones