The Story Of The Wouldve’s (January 2012 Interview): Edited by A.V.Interviewer: Welcome to another edition of “Why Try Just Think”. I’m your Internet Radio Host DinoVazar. Today’s guest is Would’ve Sr. from Sea Bright, NJ. Record holder, or should I say his family brokethe 2012 world record for thinking and not achieving. One hundred trillion thoughts and noachievements since 1934. Your family has a rich history. Do you mind shedding some light on youraccomplishment? Where’s the rest of the family?Would’ve Sr: We’re the only family that’s always thought about doing something , but, never have. Mywife and kids would’ve came, but they overslept this morning. I would’ve waited, but, I would’ve beenlate to “Why Try Just Think”. Now, I can’t have that Dino.Interviewer: Many people in America do that, but your family just recently broke the world record.Explain the Wouldve’s consistency.Would’ve Sr: Yeah, we think, but never do. We just keep thinking and then we move on to somethingelse. So when we don’t do something, we say I would’ve done this or that, but I was busy doing this. Sowe don’t get things done, ummm let me change that, it depends on the level of difficulty and energy wehave to use. My great great grandfather would’ve invented the VCR, he had the parts and everything,but he couldn’t miss football and plus he had a family. I know you looking at me like you don’t believeme, but, he told the family about an idea to save a program on tape to look at it later.Interviewer: Why didn’t he get his idea out there?Would’ve Sr: I’m glad he didn’t, then he wouldn’t be a “Would’ve”. We would uh, had to call himGrandpa Doer and he wouldn’t be a part of the family. We don’t like doers, we like ‘thinkers’ and‘planners’.Interviewer: So it must be an honor to have the world record for incompletion?Would’ve Sr: Hard work pays off, pause, we’re just a family with vision. It’s all about seeing it in yourmind and doing nothing. That’s the secret and…Interviewer: You should write a book.”Seeing it in your mind and doing nothing”.Would’ve Sr: Yeah, but who’s gonna write it?
The Chair I’m finally alone. She’s been worrying all day. My lap hurts. from her complaints about bills, people and life. I’m so glad when she’s not here. You know, when she’s at work or sleeping in the bed. I have peace of mind. My legs hurt from her dragging me with anger. Then those kids chase each other knocking me to the floor. Or lean back on me until they fall. Then they laugh. It ain’t funny. My back hasn’t been right since. Then its musical chairs. I stayed at the dining room near the tv for two yearsuntil I was demoted to the back with the plants on the window ceil. It gets drafty back there; especially in the winter when she leaves the window open or there’s no heat. See, I don’t have anything covering my wooden skin. But that slipper chair takes my spot. What kind of sense does that make? Then pieces of plant fly on me because she decides to cut it to give to a co-worker or family.
Or, perform a snip procedure when part of the plant is dying, From not feeding it right. How you forget to feed a plant? You don’t forget to feed your kids. Weeks without water? That’s messed up! Then they start turning brown like me Then its “I’m sorry I forgot to water you darling”. Then she’s making up for lost time. Give it enough water Or too much water trying to commit a homicide.
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