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Jokes and Funny Stories
Some Things You Just Can't Explain
A farmer was sitting in the neighborhood bar getting drunk. A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey,
why are you sitting here on this beautiful day, getting drunk?" The farmer shook his head and replied,
"Some things you just can't explain."
"So what happened that's so horrible?" the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.
"Well," the farmer said, "today I was sitting by my cow, milking her. Just as I got the bucket full, she
lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."
"Okay," said the man, "but that's not so bad." "Some things you just can't explain," the farmer replied.
"So what happened then?" the man asked. The farmer said, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on
"Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and
kicked over the bucket."
The man laughed and said, "Again?" The farmer replied, "Some things you just can't explain." "So, what
did you do then?" the man asked.
"I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right."
"Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked
over the bucket with her tail."
"Hmmm," the man said and nodded his head. "Some things you just can't explain," the farmer said.
"So, what did you do?" the man asked.
"Well," the farmer said, "I didn't have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter.
In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in ... Some things you just can't explain."
To Absent Brothers
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room,
drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders
three more. The bartender says to him, 'You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if
you bought one at a time.' The Irishman replies, 'Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America,
the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this
way to remember the days we all drank together. 'The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and
leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders
three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn. One day, he comes in
and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the
bar for the second round, the bartender says, 'I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer
my condolences on your great loss.' The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a lights dawns in
his eye and he laughs. 'Oh, no, ' he says, 'Everyone is fine. I've just quit drinking!
Drink 'Till She's Cute
A man stopped at his favorite watering hole after a hard days work to relax. He noticed a man next to
him ordered a shot and a beer. The man drank the shot, chased it with the beer and then looked into his
shirt pocket. This continued several times before the man's curiosity got the best of him. He leaned over
to the guy and said, "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice your little ritual, why in the world do you look
into your shirt pocket every time you drink your shot & beer"? The man replied, "There's a picture of my
wife in there, and when she starts lookin' good, I'm headin' home"!
Source : Adult Jokes