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The Emperor’s New Clothes

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What no one tells you about the emperor’s new clothes.

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The Emperor’s New Clothes

  1. 1. What NoBody Tells You About??
  2. 2. Meet Dr. Louise Author - Falling Up - A Memoir of Renewal & To Thrive - An Intervention Guidebook - Former Faculty SDSU, School of Social Work, Interwork Institute Investigator - Dept. of Ed & NI-NIAAA and other grants - All About Interventions, and Past Director - Alcohol and Other Drug Services USD Clinician - LCSW, Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator  Family Program Consultant- Driftwood Recovery-Austin, Paradigm Malibu- Malibu, New Found Life-Long Beach Woman ~ Widow ~ Wife ~ Mother ~ Stepmother ~ Grandmother ~ Step-Grandmother
  3. 3. How did you arrive today ? Hungry - I Hope They Have Good Food Worried About Loved One Energized After Exercise Thinking I Have So Much Work To Do Happy Traffic Was Awful Grateful That My Loved One Is Here Wish I Was Somewhere Else
  4. 4. Are Your Marbles In or Out?
  5. 5. Objectives Identify and Describe How Clients (Individuals, Couples, families Arrive at your door step) Identify, Define and Describe Shame, Trauma , Addiction, Mental Health , Physical Maladies and How they show up in our clients Demonstrate the Power of Family Mapping and the Art and Science of Portraiture (Triangulation of Data) as a Way in Share Invitational Vocabulary as we work with clients as they share their own stories and reclaim their own lives
  6. 6. Creating Possibility Create an Experience Give Education you can implement Create an Aspiration of a Better Life- that there is something greater out there that is possible and attainable
  7. 7. How Do Our Clients arrive ? Substance Abuse Mental Health Chronic Pain and other Physical ladies Legal Issues Money Problems Relationship Failures Sex, Shopping, Gambling Family History of SA, MH, PD
  8. 8. How D0 Your Clients Arrive? Substance Abuse Mental Health Legal Issues School Problems - Bullying Relationship Failures Sexual Identity Digital Issues
  9. 9. Complicated Family Systems A -Age of First Onset B- Big Changes C -Co-occurring Issues D- DNA
  10. 10. What Kind Of Families AGREEABLE ANALYSIS INVISIBLE QUESTIONER KNOW IT ALL COMPLAINER TALKER WORRIER MICRO-MANAGER BOOMERANG Emotionally intense
  11. 11. Before Treatment CONFUSED BEWILDERED CONFABULATORS- DENIAL MINIMIZE FEAR DRIVEN FRAZZLED SHAME and GUILT UNAWARE of FEELINGS

  12. 12. Family and Confabulations
  13. 13. Keeping The Status Quo SA. MH, CP etc . Organizing structure Unconscious and Consciously Gratification Strategies must be employed that change usual ways of relating, categorizing , and thinking
  14. 14. Attributes of Healthy Families McMannis PHD & MacMcMannis MSW Talking and Loving Balancing Closeness & Difference Expressing Language Accepting Difference Adapting to Change Seeing The Positive Sharing Time together Effective Problem Solving Who’s in Charge Parenting Together
  15. 15. FAMILIES HURTING EXPERTS MOTIVATED SEEKING SOLUTIONS WOUNDED FAMILY OF ORIGIN BEEN UNSUCCESSFUL IN SEEKING SOLUTIONS THEY MAY NOT SEE THEIR PART IN THE PROBLEM -want you to FIX LOVE ONE AUTHENTIC- VULNERABLE- COURAGEOUS
  16. 16. Shame Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging I am Not Good Enough Brene Brown
  17. 17. Guilt Have you ever.. The Difference between Shame is Guilt I am bad versus I did something bad
  18. 18. Humiliation The act of making someone feel inferior or foolish Someone Telling You , You aren’t Smart Enough, Good Enough …Stupid Or you have negative self talk…
  19. 19. Embarrassment Have you ever felt embarrassed?
  20. 20. I Invite You to Give Your Clients No Fault Insurance
  21. 21. Listening Skills
  22. 22. BRAVING - Brown Am I clear in helping client accept own boundaries ? Am I reliable ? Do I do what I say I will do? Do I hold myself accountable-Ethics, professional standards &, seek collaboration when necessary Confidentiality Nonjudgemental Am I generous in my interpretation of self and others ?
  23. 23. Motivational Interviewing Miller and Rolnick NOT a Curriculum ROLLING WITH RESISTANCE DIRECTIONAL-GOAL MOTIVATION IS BOTH EXTRINSIC AND INTRINSIC SCALING QUESTIONS DECISIONAL BALANCE CHANGE TALK
  24. 24. SOLUTION FOCUSED InSoon Young & Peter Berg HERE & NOW NOT NECESSARY TTO KNOW DEEPER CAUSE COUNSELOR EXPERTISE CALL SMALL CHANGE Can Lead To Big Change
  25. 25. Using Portraiture as a Way In Today we are going to have a conversation soI might learn about your loved one an d a bit about your family Tell me about Yourself Tell me about your loved One What is special ? What makes your heart hurt ? Tell me about your family?
  26. 26. START WHERE YOUR CLIENT IS
  27. 27. Family Mapping Is more then Just a Genogram
  28. 28. Questions Substance Abuse Mental Health Physical Marital Status-M-Div- Widow Births-Deaths- Adoptions Gender Identity Process Addictions-Shopping, Eating, Gambling, Sex, Money, Religion , Exercise Digital Addiction Moves- Geographics Money Legal Issues School Problems Bullying Successes- Failures Religion Occupations
  29. 29. Non-Linear- Collaborative
  30. 30. The Conversation Will Take You Many Places –Johnny Appleseed
  31. 31. INTERVENTION- BAR RELATIONAL ATTACHMENT
  32. 32. The TEAM 3 Sisters 2 Attorneys Family Friends Relatives Security
  33. 33. Paradigm Shift Moving From Passive :Cure me Doctor to Being an ACTIVE PARTICIPANT
  34. 34. Meet Jack- The Emergency Placement 54 year old retired Executive-Lived With His son Two Previous Treatment Episodes 3 Children Wife - Process of Divorce The Call-He is in Wrong Treatment Center My First job was to get him From A to B No time For Family Mapping-just quick assessment
  35. 35. Families ReadinessTo Change In two months time 3 out of 5 family members were ready for Change 3 Different Residential Inpatient 2 Different Structured Living and IP 2 Private Therapists One Family, Multitude Issues Outcome
  36. 36. Meet Rick Native American 38 Foster Homes Never School in Jail Sexually assaulted Legal Issues-Gang Leader Substance Abuse- Mental Health Multiple Partners One “Bad Ass”- Yet Poetic A Really Nice Guy
  37. 37. I Thought I Did The Best Placement Gender specific Known for Great work with Chronic Relapsers Works Well with legal System Culturally Sensitive Secluded-No- Nonsense -12 Step Based Great Staff And Then
  38. 38. Two Spirited Person
  39. 39. Spirit Warriors
  40. 40. Rick Is One of the most Courageous People I have met Walked into his Story Got Curious Felt Safe to End The Confabulations And Asked For Help And After I got Over Being Uncomfortable I was able to be of Service Treatment and Current Outcomes
  41. 41. Meet Erik 20 Years old Only Son of High wealth Family Legal Issues Substance Abuse Anxiety and Depression
  42. 42. Erik's Family Sisters have had issues-bullying , legal Depression Mom’s Family History of SA Mom is in Recovery Dads Family History of SA and Then Mother said I have something to share -Map- Mom’s Brother dies at 38 -HIV Gay
  43. 43. And Then Erik said, “Mother I have something to tell you”
  44. 44. Be Curious
  45. 45. Live with Possibility
  46. 46. Resources The Daring Way- Brene Brown Rising Strong- Brene Brown The Parallel Process-Kathy Prozack LCSW Crucial Conversations-Patterson et al. The Journey of the Heroic Parent-Brad Reedy PHD If You Meet The Buddha on The Road , Kill Him -Sheldon Kopp Motivational Interviewing-Miller and Rollick Solution Focused Therapy- Insoon Young and Peter Berg Falling Up-A Memoir of Renewal-Louise Stanger Trauma and Addiction -Louise Stanger (Huffington Post 2017) Rethinking Triple Threat- Louise Stanger (Huffington Post 2017) Triple Threat -Louise Stanger (Huffington Post 2015)

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