Successfully reported this slideshow.
We use your LinkedIn profile and activity data to personalize ads and to show you more relevant ads. You can change your ad preferences anytime.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall


Published on

Presentation on Narcissism

Published in: Health & Medicine
  • Be the first to comment

  • Be the first to like this

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

  1. 1. Mirror- Mirror on the Wall.. I Am the Fairest of Them All - Narcissism LAS Jan. 2017
  2. 2. Created By Louise A. Stanger Ed.D, LCSW, Educator Speaker Author Clinician Interventionist Family Recovery Expert
  3. 3. Who was Narcissus ? Fell in love with his own image Rejected all that cared about him- Echo and his family Led to a pool of water looking at his reflection and never left - Nemesis or god of revenge Narcissism or Narcissistic - selfish or egocentric
  4. 4. Did You Know ? Craig Nalikin PHd Cross cultural research shows that people around the world think they are special? People also think they are more optimistic, intelligent , attractive , and even more human then the average person, & more resilient Privately we long to feel special to someone we love , for them to view us as different from the crowd as special. Pervasive universal tendency
  5. 5. What’s Echoism ? The Myth, The Women and now the Legend
  6. 6. Myth :Echo and Narcissus Echo offended the goddess Juno Juno punished Echo by making her repeat what other people said Echo now had no words of her own Echo repeated whatever Narcissus wouldn't even look at her She faded away due to sorrow until only her voice was left Narcissus had done this to many people so the gods punished Narcissus- or god of revenge Nemesis In the place he died, the gods had a beautiful flower the narcissus
  7. 7. More on Echoism View themselves in a dimmer light, struggle to find their voice More anxious , berate themselves easily More depressed, extremely empathetic Can’t think for themselves. People pleasers or isolators Narcissistic parents Tend to fall into relationships with Narcissistic
  8. 8. Are we Creating Little Narcissists ? Jean Twenge PHD, SDSU
  9. 9. Can Narcissism be Healthy? High outward self-confidence in line with reality May enjoy power Real concern for others and their ideas, does not exploit or devalued others Has values, follows through on plans Heathy attachments from childhood for self esteem an appropriate limits set. We may all live on a continum
  10. 10. We live on a continuum
  11. 11. Symbolism of Narcissus Flower Victorians -Egotist Chinese -Future Prosperity and Rebirth and Renewal Good Luck and Happiness Narcissism and Egotism March birthdays-Spring is on its way Clarity and Inspiration
  12. 12. What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder ? Person has an inflated sense of their own importance Strong desire for excessive attention from others Lack of empathy for others which creates problems in all spheres of life Fragile ego, highly vulnerable to the slightest criticism
  13. 13. Fragile Ego Easily are unhappy if they are not center of attention Believe they are entitled to special favors - You Must do This now If they are not Flattered or given special favors they get annoyed Exaggerated sense of self importance -Its all about me Not always loud or boisterous
  14. 14. Expectations to be Recognized Are Superior even without achievements Exaggerate Achievements - I am a Super Power Dwell on Fantasies about Success, Power, Brilliance or the Perfect Mate
  15. 15. Is Narcissism an Attachment Disorder?
  16. 16. Secure Attachments
  17. 17. Is Narcissism an Addiction?
  18. 18. Craig Nalkin PHD Unhealthy Narcissism is when people become addicted to being special
  19. 19. If you do not have trust or love or connection with others you turn to external objects for gratification.
  20. 20. Exhibitionists or Grandiose Look at me - mindset of child Think they are amazing, smarter , brighter, better , one step up Its in your blood Lack empathy Insecure when they aren't bragging about themselves they put others down
  21. 21. Closet or Covert Narcissistic Insecure, say one thing, do another Feel Special By Association- designer clothes Gaslighting- blaming parents for things they didn't do and parents ends up Believing its their fault Charismatic and kind in public- cruel and abusive in private
  22. 22. Vulnerable Narcissism Individuals feel deeply inadequate and seek attention and approval to validate and boost their weak self esteem
  23. 23. Toxic Narcissistic's crave chaos and destruction Implode people, emotionally, physically and spiritually Thrive on Fear Ruin Other Peoples Careers Thrive on Creating Havoc for Someone Else
  24. 24. Is Your Partner A Narcissist ? Kathy McBride PHD Does your partner blame everyone but himself when something goes wrong? Are they out of touch with their own feelings Carry Grudges? Unwilling to listen to your Concerns Go on about How great they are etc Only support things that look well on him
  25. 25. Partners that are Narcissistic In the beginning a narcissistic partner can be so captivating. Big Personalities Life of the party Make you feel you must be great for them to choose you Prone to falling in love instantly and are quick to commit Commitment is not easily sustained
  26. 26. Digital Snubbing- Phubbing Do you not look up when someone is talking to you? Do you feel unheard or uncared for Non-intentional emotional unavailability -or…… Phubbing: The act of holding a mobile phone in a social situation with two or more people and then interacting with phone and not the people
  27. 27. Ghosted ???? The practice of suddenly ending all contact with a person without any explaining, especially in a romantic relationship You suddenly disappear off of all social media The person feels less then and wonders what they did wrong Solution- _one spends 5 hours on social media each day tell the person-COMPASSION
  28. 28. Haunting Have you ever checked someone out on social media after you broke up with them-? This could be a friend who you had an argument with or someone you have been Dating There is no relationship- hiding behind likes and clicks
  29. 29. Zombie-ing
  30. 30. Bread crumbing This is the person who can’t live without you Cant commit to anyone Keeps ones options open
  31. 31. Spinning The person on the receiver side spins a start or confabulateon on why the person acts the way they do- does not reach out, is mean etc one attaches more meaning than is necessary May imagine future meetings , events etc that add to confusion
  32. 32. If your client is in a Narcissistic Relationship Examine Explore Family of Origin issues - Family map -look at how if at all parenting was self-centered Are you comfortable with your partner being in control Do you get a sense of self worth from being attached to someone in the spotlight Does the negative self image of yourself that your partner project resonate with you?
  33. 33. Teach Boundaries Smart Phones Don’t take your smart phone with you everywhere Turn it off twice a day and at meal time Exercise more Text less Let messages go to voice nail Only check mail twice a day Give instagram, twitter, snapchat and facebook a rest
  34. 34. Revisit the Karpman Triangle
  35. 35. Enmeshment Personal boundaries between two or more people are unclear and permeable People feel others emotions People become over involved in another persons life
  36. 36. Does your client feel ? They can’t tell the difference between their own emotions and the person they are in relationship with If they feel they need to rescue someone ? If you feel you need to rescue someone from your own motion If you and other person do not have emotional time and space?
  37. 37. The Treatment Challenge - Narcissistic Personality Disorder The therapist must tolerate both grandiosity and devaluation in transference If one can maintain authenticity and imperfection one can help the narcissists Empathetic Listening Boundary setting Reworking history Learning secure attachments
  38. 38. Teach Listening Skills
  39. 39. Boundaries
  40. 40. Compassion
  41. 41. Mindfulness
  42. 42. You are Worthy of Love
  43. 43. Resources Why Narcissists Need to look good So Badly, Susan Krauss Whitbourne PHD, Psychology Today, Nov. 2016 Rethinking Narcissism- Craig Nalkin PHD There are 3 Distinct types of Narcissists-heres how to spot them- Lindsay Doogan- Business Insider , Jan 19, 2018 Borderline, Narcissistic and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration and Safety - Ellen Greenberg Healing from Hidden Abuse, Sharon Thomas LCSW
  44. 44. Resources The Legacy of Distorted Love McBride, Kathy PHD, 2016 Jean Twenge PHD& Keith W Campbell: The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the age of Entitlement , 2009 Free Press a division of Simon and Schusther Yeomans M.D. , PHD & Caligor, E ,M.D. -Narcissistic Personality Disorder, The Treatment Challenge . Psychiatric News May 5, 2016 online Louise Stanger , Whats love got to do with It? Boundaries and Relationships lcsw-bri-ii-cip/whats-love-got-to-do-with_5_b_6776434.html
  45. 45. Resources Stanger, Louise Power , Privilege, Payouts : The Enablers privilege-payouts-enablers/ Stanger, Louise Too Big To Fail; Wealthy Clients and Addiction 2017/03/23/big-fail-wealthy-clients-addiction/ Sports Stars Fame and Addiction https:// fame-addiction/
  46. 46. Resources Lerner, Rockelle. The Object of My Affection is My Reflection , 2009 Health Communications Kruger, Randi and Mason, Paul0 Stop Walking ion Eggshells the Workbook, 2010 New Harbinger Press personality-disorder/