Master Your Emotions Through Emotional Intelligence


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People with high emotional intelligence are usually successful in most things they do. Why? Because they're the ones that others want on their team. The good news is that emotional intelligence CAN be taught and developed! Learn how to master emotional intelligence in this presentation by Line of Sight.
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  • Our brains are hard-wired to give emotions the upper hand. Limbic SystemThink of the limbic system as an emotional thermometer that is highly sensitive to threat and reward in our environment.The limbic system will spark emotional impulses in just milliseconds - no matter how small the threat.Frontal LobeIn order to manage these emotional impulses, they must first travel to the frontal lobes of the brain. The brain’s frontal lobes help us distinguish between different emotions and express appropriate responses.The frontal lobes are responsible for problem solving, rationalizing, and empathetic behavior, allowing us to understand the thinking and experiences of others.
  • So, what happens when people seem to be out of control?We call this an emotional hijacking– when emotions control your behavior and you react without thinking. During an emotional hijacking, the limbic system takes over with complete lack of intellectual reasoning or rational thinking to handle the situation(i.e., flight or fight response)Your rational brain can’t stop the emotion felt by your limbic system, but the two areas do influence each other and maintain constant communication. This communication is the physical source of emotional intelligence.Emotional intelligence requires effective communication between the rational and emotional centers of the brain.
  • What is Emotional Intelligence?The phrase "emotional intelligence" was coined by psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer in their groundbreaking article, "Emotional Intelligence," published in the journal Imagination, Cognition, and Personality.”
  • The concept of emotional intelligence was popularized after publication of Daniel Goleman’s 1995 book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.The book made it to the cover of Time Magazine and Goleman began appearing on several television shows including Oprah Winfrey and Phil Donahue.
  • EI & EQMost writers interchange the terms "EQ" and "emotional intelligence”, let’s clarify…EI is an abbreviation emotional intelligence EQ is a measurement of emotional intelligence EI & IQIQ measures cognitive abilities whereas EQ measures emotional abilitiesIQ is fixed at birth, but you can improve upon your EQIQ and EQ rely on different portions of the brainEQ has more to do with happiness and success in life than IQThey are distinct; IQ cannot be used to predict EQHave you ever met anyone with a high IQ but were very socially awkward? Top performers typically have a balance of IQ & EQ.
  • Emotional intelligence is a competency based framework. Each of us already has a level of skill in emotional intelligence, it is just the degree of its development. Emotional intelligence can be learned and continually developed. Within Goleman’s emotional intelligence framework, there are four quadrants:Personal competencies: Self-awareness and self-managementSocial competencies: Social awareness and relationship managementWe will explore each skill in more detail…
  • Self-awareness is the cornerstone of the emotional intelligence competencies; mastering self-awareness makes it easier to understand and develop the other three EI skills.Self-awareness is knowing one’s emotions. This involves awareness of our mood and our thoughts about that mood.
  • People with high self-awareness:observe and monitor their own behavior process feedback to improve their effectivenesstolerate the discomfort of focusing on negative feelingsaren’t afraid of making “emotional mistakes”Individuals who have a high level of self- awareness are better able to recognize and articulate their mood, and use that information to guide their behavior.  Enforcing self-awareness is like to saying to someone: ‘Before you act, stop for a moment and think about who you are and what you believe to be true.  In light of these thoughts, what course of action suits you best?’(Source: Baron and Byrne, 1991)
  • Just thinking about self-awareness helps you improve your level of self-awareness.Here are some tips to help you improve your self-awareness:Make time for self-reflectionSelf aware leaders spend time in self-reflection in order to develop a keen intuition that enables them to make smart decisions. Consider keeping a journal on your emotions. Acknowledge your true feelingsDon’t be afraid to make emotional mistakesPhysically feel your emotions Emotions trigger physical sensations, these are warning signs Identify your values and intentionsStrive to align your actions with your valuesFind a self-awareness modelLearn from others who demonstrate high self-awareness; model their strategies.Seek feedback from people you trustIt is difficult to be objective about yourself, on your own. Ask for feedback. Learn your hot buttons & triggersGet to know yourself under stress. Identify the persons and situations that lead you to an emotional hijacking.What other ways could you build your self-awareness?
  • Self-control or self-management is the other personal emotional intelligence skill. It builds upon your self-awareness abilities – you have to be aware of your emotions in order to manage them effectively. Self-control involves successfully managing your emotional reactions during various situations.
  • People who self-regulate typically don't allow themselves to become overly emotional. They think before they act in order to avoid making impulsive, careless decisions. Other characteristics of self-control:Comfortable with change and delayed gratificationAble to say noPatient, understanding during tough / stressful situationsDoesn’t lose perspective / doesn’t lose their coolHigh standard of conduct – professional, politeAvoids backbiting and gossipControlled, poised, tacticalSeparates emotion from logic(Refer to some of the characteristics in the Best Boss / Worst Boss exercise.)
  • What are some ways you use to control your emotions?
  • Similar to self-awareness, social awareness is the cornerstone of the social EI competencies. Social awareness involves picking up on emotional cues, identifying the power dynamics in a group and feeling comfortable in social situations.
  • Characteristics of high social awareness:Acknowledge others feelingsWatch for social cuesGood at reading/recognizing emotionsSincere interest in peopleGets to know people on a personal level to better understand their perspectivesGood listener, but can lead conversations – effective communicatorActive listener – quiets internal dialogue and stops anticipating what others might say nextGood team builder – motivates and inspiresAdjusts to different situations easilyAdaptable communication styleBuilds relationships with a variety of people
  • According to Daniel Goleman the competencies associated with being socially aware are:Empathy: Understanding the other person’s emotions, needs and concerns. Empathy requires you look at situations from another person’s perspective and try to understand their point of view. This doesn't mean you have to feel the same way or even agree with their point of view. Empathy is about acknowledging the emotions of others, being thoughtful of their feelings, and taking those feelings into consideration when you make decisions. Treat others how they want to be treated, not how you want to be treated. Organizational Awareness: The ability to understand the politics within an organization and how they affect the people working in them.It includes the ability to identify the real decision makers and who/what influences them, recognizing the values and cultures of organizations and predicting how events will affect the staff as well as specific groups inside the organization. This goes beyond reading formal organizational documents. It involves building relationships within informal networks in order to learn how things work internally. Service: The ability to understand and meet the needs of other people. This involveshelping others grow personally and professionally - it doesn’t mean you have to play the role of a formal trainer or facilitator. This can be achieved by coaching, providing constructive feedback and offering opportunities to heighten skills and acquire new knowledge.  
  • More on developing social awareness:Improve your listening skills. Think before you answer and give clear answers.Pay attention during interactions with other people. Watch what they say, how they say it and what they do (i.e., body language).Seek the whole picture by asking for feedback – learn from other perspectives. Collect multiple observations before jumping to conclusions.Consider the needs of the group without losing sight of the needs of the individuals in the group. Educate yourself on social issues - listen to the global news reports. Get to know people from cultures different from your own.Challenge yourself to greet people by name -- you’ll come off as warm and inviting.How else can you increase your social awareness?
  • Relationship management is the fourth and final emotional Intelligence competency. Relationship management is the ability to develop and maintain good relationships, communicate effectively in order to inspire and influence others, work well in a team, and manage conflict. It involves connecting with others in ways that help them feel understood and supported.
  • Leaders with developed skills in the first three areas of emotional intelligence are usually effective at managing relationships because they are attuned to their own emotions and tend to approach relationships from a position of authenticity. In order to make our relationships more effective, we should treat ourselves and each other with respect.It’s more than just being friendly, but it’s what Goleman calls “friendliness with a purpose”: motivating people in the direction you desire. You need to notice and manage the effect people have on you, while being aware of what other peoples’ feelings and motives. After that, you can decide how best to interact with them in order to achieve the outcome that best suits your mutual needs. You don’t have to be highly sociable to be good at developing networks, its more important that you understand that nothing gets done alone and develop the other EI skills to effectively work with others.
  • According to Daniel Goleman the competencies associated with relationship management are:Influence: The power to produce effects on others’ actions, behaviors and/or opinions. Influencing skills require a combination of interpersonal, communication, presentation and assertiveness techniques. It involves trying new presentation approaches when an idea is not understood or received the first time through. Inspirational leadership: Providing a vision that motivates others;connects what a person wants to the organization’s goals. Inspirational leaders build corporate communities in which people feel valued, capable, confident and strong.Developing others: Providing feedback and building skills and knowledge; improve employee performance by building long-term capabilities.Change catalyst: Recognizing the need for change and supporting the process;move people toward shared dreams when changes require a new vision or a clear direction. Conflict management: Settling disputes, differences of opinion and misunderstanding; heals rifts using motivation.Building bonds: Creating and maintaining networks; strengthening connections.Teamwork and collaboration: Building effective teams. Get buy-in or consensus, value employee input.Successful leaders use their emotional intelligence to influence and guide others; establish strong networks; and build the trust that enables them to lead in new directions and be catalysts for positive change.
  • In a study of Leadership, Emotional Intelligence and Personality Type conducted in 2004 by Richmond, Rollin and Brown, the findings were: The five most important leadership attributes were identified as Vision, Strategic Thinking, Relationship Building, Execution and People Development.Emotional Intelligence attributes are essential to successful leadership, especially the “relationship management” attributes. Of the remaining attributes, all the Emotional Intelligence competencies are more important than all the general leadership attributes.The Center for Creative Leadership in studying why managers derail on their way to becoming executives found four themes that emerged: 1.         Problems with interpersonal relationships           2.         Failure to meet business objectives           3.         Failure to build and lead a team           4.         Inability to change or adapt during a transition In short, difficulties with “relationship management” attributes were identified as prime contributors to the failure of otherwise promising executive careers.Source: Hollister, Pamela. The Five Relationship Management Attributes Necessary For Successful Leadership: Leading with Skill.
  • Developing relationships takes time. What hinders you from building effective relationships?What are some other ways you can build relationships?
  • In conclusion, we have learned that emotional intelligence can have a profound effect on a person’s productivity, performance, and job satisfaction.We explored the four key competencies of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management. You learned techniques to help you effectively identify your emotions and control your reactions. You also learned how to become more perceptive to the needs and desires of others, and discovered other strategies used to develop more meaningful relationships. Hopefully, you will incorporate the techniques you have learned today to further develop your emotional intelligence.
  • This exercise highlights the importance of body language in communication. This is a useful activity to encourage active listening and helps participants to improve their social awareness and communication skills.Working in pairs, each participant will practice acting out one of the emotions listed on this slide while the other person attempts to read their expression.See Facilitator's Guide for complete instructions.
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  • Master Your Emotions Through Emotional Intelligence

    1. 1. 1
    2. 2. Emotions What Are They Really? Emotion (i-ˈmō-shən) A mental state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is often accompanied by physiological changes, a feeling. American Heritage Dictionary
    3. 3. Emotions Where Do They Come From? Emotions are produced and experienced in the brain’s limbic system. Emotional impulses travel from the limbic system to the front of the brain where rational, logical thinking can take place.
    4. 4. Emotions “Emotional Hijacking” Out-of-control emotions can make smart people act dumb
    5. 5. Emotional Intelligence What Is It? Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships. Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves Emotional Intelligence 2.0
    6. 6. + EI buzz… “IQ gets you hired, EQ gets you promoted.” Time Magazine article
    7. 7. 7 EQ & IQ What’s The Difference? Intelligence Quotient - IQ - Emotional Intelligence Quotient - EQ -  Measures cognitive intelligence – your ability to learn / skilled use of reason  Doesn’t change, fixed at birth  Neo cortex or top portion of the brain  Gets you through school  Measures emotional intelligence – your ability to use emotions & cognitive skills  Flexible skill, can be learned  Limbic system portion of the brain  Gets you through life
    8. 8. SOCIAL COMPETENCIES PERSONAL COMPETENCIES Emotional Intelligence Self- Awareness Self- Management Relationship Management The Four Competencies
    9. 9. Personal Competencies Emotional Intelligence I am, indeed, a king, because I know how to rule myself. -Pietro Aretino
    10. 10. Self-Awareness Self-awareness is the ability to accurately perceive your own emotions and motives across various situations. Personal Emotional Intelligence
    11. 11. Self-Awareness Self-awareness skills enable you to understand:  What you do well  What motivates you  What satisfies you  What pushes your buttons Personal Emotional Intelligence
    12. 12. Self-Awareness At Work Leaders with high self-awareness:  Make sound decisions regarding their responses to people and situations  Are highly self-reliant and self-motivated  Effectively respond to the range of interpersonal interactions encountered in the workplace Personal Emotional Intelligence “When you are self-aware, you are more likely to pursue the right opportunities, put your strengths to work, and keep your emotions from holding you back.” Bradberry & Greaves, Emotional Intelligence 2.0
    13. 13. Build Self-Awareness Personal Emotional Intelligence  Make time for self-reflection  Acknowledge your true feelings  Physically feel your emotions  Identify your values and intentions  Find a self-awareness model  Seek feedback from people you trust  Learn your hot buttons & triggers
    14. 14. Self-Management Self-control is the ability to effectively manage your emotions and behaviors. Personal Emotional Intelligence
    15. 15. Self-Management Self-control skills enable you to:  Tolerate uncertainty as you work through emotions  Resist momentary emotional needs in order to pursue more important goals  Remain flexible  Direct your behavior in a positive way Personal Emotional Intelligence
    16. 16. Self-Management At Work Leaders with high self-management skills:  Keep disruptive impulses in check  Maintain standards of honesty and integrity  Take responsibility for one’s performance  Effectively manage change; adaptable Personal Emotional Intelligence “There is perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse. It is the root of all emotional self-control, since all emotions, by their very nature, led to one or another impulse to act.” Goleman, Emotional Intelligence
    17. 17. Self-Management Strategies  Take a few deep breaths  Count to ten  Talk / write it out  Weigh both sides of the situation  Recognize the situation is temporary  Use positive self-talk or a mantra  Take a break Personal Emotional Intelligence
    18. 18. Social Competencies Emotional Intelligence Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy. -Aristotle
    19. 19. Social Awareness Social awareness is the ability to accurately understand the emotions and concerns of other people. Social Emotional Intelligence
    20. 20. Social Awareness Social awareness enables you to understand:  Other people’s feelings and perspectives  People’s development and support needs  Social climates and group dynamics  Concerns of diverse groups Social Emotional Intelligence
    21. 21. Social Awareness According to Daniel Goleman, the competencies associated with being socially aware are:  Empathy: Understanding the other person’s emotions, needs and concerns.  Organizational Awareness: The ability to understand the politics within an organization and how these affect the people working in them.  Service: The ability to understand and meet the needs of other people. Social Emotional Intelligence
    22. 22. Social Awareness At Work Leaders with high social awareness:  Sense organizational tensions, changes and needs  Understand their team members' emotional triggers  Develop trust and build lasting relationships with their team members Social Emotional Intelligence “First seek to understand, then to be understood.” –Stephen Covey
    23. 23. Building Social Awareness  Practice active listening  Watch body language  Get the whole picture  Consider the needs of individuals and groups  Increase sensitivity to social justice and harmony  Greet people by name Social Emotional Intelligence
    24. 24. Relationship Management Relationship management is the ability to inspire, influence and develop relationships with others. Social Emotional Intelligence
    25. 25. Relationship Management Building and managing relationships requires:  Self-awareness  Acknowledgment of your own feelings and needs in the relationship  Self-management  Effectively expressing your feelings to others  Social awareness  Understanding the other person’s needs and feelings Social Emotional Intelligence
    26. 26. Relationship Management  Influence  Inspirational leadership  Developing others  Change catalyst  Conflict management  Building bonds  Teamwork and collaboration Social Emotional Intelligence According to Daniel Goleman, the competencies associated with relationship management are:
    27. 27. Relationship Management At Work Leaders with strong relationship management skills:  Communicate clearly  Effectively manage conflict  Seek benefits from every relationship  Respect other people’s views, confidentiality and build trust  Give constructive feedback and find ways to give praise and encouragement Social Emotional Intelligence “No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helped you.” –Althea Gibson
    28. 28. Building Relationships  Acknowledge feelings & practice compassion  Adopt an “open-door” policy  Explain your decisions  Align your actions with your intentions  Tackle tough conversations  Graciously receive feedback  Give direct and constructive feedback Social Emotional Intelligence
    29. 29. SOCIAL COMPETENCIES PERSONAL COMPETENCIES Emotional Intelligence Self- Awareness Self- Management Social Awareness Relationship Management The Four Competencies
    30. 30. Listen withYour Eyes  Angry  Impatient  Worries  Frustrated  Confused  Annoyed  Interested  Nervous  Happy  Excited  Distracted  Sad  Tired  Embarrassed Can You See What I’m Feeling?
    31. 31. Discover how to master your emotional intelligence today by contacting Line of Sight. Get started today!
    32. 32. 32 ©2011-2013 Line of Sight – All Rights Reserved