awareness that we are stuck
WAYS TO GET BEYOND
“Good enough is good enough. Perfect will make you a big fat mess every time.” ― Rebecca Wells
BECOME AWARE OF PERFECTIONISM OPERATING IN YOUR LIFE.
ARE YOU STOPPING YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU ARE TRYING TO BE A PERFECTIONIST?
MAKE A SHORT INVENTORY OF YOUR LIFE AND WHERE YOU ARE BEING A PERFECTIONIST.
understand the types of Perfectionism
fear. Fear of
2. “At its root, perfectionism isn’t really about a deep love of beingFear of success.”aboutMichael Law
making a mistake. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of failure.
PERFECTIONISM COMES IN DIFFERENT FORMS: SELF IMPOSED, IMPOSING ON OTHERS AND SOCIAL.
IT MAY OR MAY NOT INDUCE STRESS AND OTHER MALADAPTIVE STATES.
cast aside unsupportive past beliefs
3.“I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough,
hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die.” ― Anne Lamott
CAST ASIDE PROGRAMS AND BELIEFS THAT PREDISPOSE YOU TOWARDS UNREALISTIC PERFECTIONISM.
QUESTION THE VALIDITY OF ASSUMPTIONS THAT THESE BELIEFS ARE BASED UPON AND CHOOSE NEW BELIEFS.
4. “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good.”- Voltaire
let go of Anxiety and Stress
BECOME AWARE THAT THE PERFECTIONISM TRAP IS A CYCLE OF UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS, EXCESSIVELY HIGH
STANDARDS, INCORRECT ASSESSMENT, STRESS, OVERWHELM AND SELF-CENSURE.
BREAK THE CYCLE OF MALADAPTIVE PERFECTIONISM BY DECIDING TO CONSCIOUSLY REDUCE THE STRESS
ASSOCIATED WITH PERFORMANCE.
5.“It’s in our biology to trust what we see with our eyes. This makes living in a carefully edited,
release Fear, Low Self-Worth and Shame
overproduced and photoshopped world very dangerous.” ― Brené Brown
UNDERSTAND THAT FEAR, SHAME AND LOW SELF-WORTH MAY BE ORCHESTRATING THE PERFECTIONISM.
EMBRACE THE OPPOSITE: EXCITEMENT, ACCEPTANCE AND GREAT SELF-WORTH.
AFFIRM AND BELIEVE THAT YOUR WORK IS GOOD ENOUGH.
DO NOT ENGAGE WITH SELF-DEFEATING THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS.
Blame, Self-Criticism and Criticism
From Others: The Judgment Trap
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a ﬁeld. I’ll meet you there.” – Rumi
CAST ASIDE SELF-CRITICISM AND SELF-BLAME THAT IS PROPELLING YOUR PERFECTIONISM FORWARD.
CHOOSE SELF-ACCEPTANCE AND PRAISE YOUR WORK AS GOOD ENOUGH.
Trust, Safety and control Issues
7. “Perfectionism is not a prerequisite for anything but pain.” ― Danna Faulds
ADDRESS YOUR TRUST AND SAFETY ISSUES.
TAKE VERY SMALL STEPS TOWARDS DELEGATING TASKS TO OTHERS AND LOOSEN THE GRIP ON CONTROL.
TAKE SMALL RISKS TOWARDS ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE LESS PERFECTIONISTIC IN YOUR APPROACH.
DEVELOP A SENSE OF SAFETY AND TRUST IN YOURSELF AND THE ABILITY OF OTHERS.
Set Up Rules and Deadlines for Your
Project: Structures that Work
“But I am learning that perfection isn’t what matters. In fact, it’s the very thing that can
destroy you if you let it.” ― Emily Gifﬁn
SET UP STRUCTURES, RULES AND DEADLINES TO MANAGE PERFECTIONISM.
ENLIST SOCIAL SUPPORT TO WORK THROUGH SOME OF YOUR PERFECTIONISM ISSUES.
9. “We freeze up because we expect a certain result or because we want things to
Getting Realistic and Dropping Standards
be perfect.” ― Bernie Glassman
MANY PERFECTIONISTS THINK IN BLACK AND WHITE. IT IS ALL OR NOTHING. HOW ARE YOU THINKING?
IF ON A SCALE FROM 1 TO 10, 7-10 BEING A GREAT JOB AND 1-3 BEING A POORLY DONE JOB, WHERE WOULD YOU
PLACE YOURSELF? PERFECTIONISTS= MORE THAN 10 ALWAYS!
UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU STAND IN THE SCALE OF PERFECTIONISM AND DIAL IT BACK A NOTCH.
10. “90 percent perfect and shared with the world always changes more lives than
Moving Forward: Small Steps to overcome
100 percent perfect and stuck in your head.” ― Jon Acuff
UNDERSTAND YOUR TARGET AND THE STEPS FORWARD TO PREVENT GETTING CAUGHT UP IN DETAILS.
BECOME VERY CLEAR ABOUT YOUR START POINT AND YOUR END POINT.
Become a Scientist in Your own Life: Observe,
Experiment and Change the Core Concepts
“The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake - you can't learn anything from being perfect. “-Adam Osborne
TEST EVERYTHING OUT FOR YOURSELF AND USE THE POWER OF THE SCIENTIFIC PROCESS TO BUST THROUGH
THE FALSE FOUNDATIONS OF PERFECTIONISM.
REPLACE THE DEEPEST MOTIVATIONS BEHIND PERFECTIONISM WITH A HIGHER PURPOSE AND VALUE.
SHIFT THE FOCUS FROM YOURSELF TO A GREATER GOOD.
12. “Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.” -Salvador Dali
A new Model: Value the Process
A NEW MODEL FOR PERFECTION: EXCELLENCE!
REPLACE PERFECTIONISM WITH: EXCELLENCE + SIMPLICITY + KAIZEN (CONSTANT IMPROVEMENT)
+ FOCUS + IMPERFECTION OR GOOD ENOUGH + ENJOY THE JOURNEY + ABILITY TO FAIL + REDUCE