This presentation was taken from The Luxury Marketing Council, The Importance of Good Listening and Conversation event, held at The Wick.
Presentation was completed by Judith Glaser of The Creating We Institute.
The Creating We Institute, The Importance of Good Listening and Conversation event
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The Creating WE® Institute All Rights Reserved.
Conversational
IntelligenceTM
Judith E. Glaser
Chairman – The Creating WE Institute
CEO Benchmark Communications, Inc.
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WHY Conversational Intelligence?
“I know that you believe you understand
what you think I said, but I’m not sure
you realize that what you heard is not
what I meant.”
- Pentagon Spokesman Robert McCloskey
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Neuroscience of Human Behavior
“I - WE”
SHIFT FROM
Power-over
To
Power-with
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Itzhak Bentov
(scientist, inventor,
mystic, author) in
Stalking the Wild
Pendulum
Q
"If we could see into each others
hearts…. we would know our
hearts beat with the same
dreams!!!!!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl2_k
nlv_xw
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You Never ChangeThings
by Fighting the Existing Reality
To Change Something,
Build a New Model
That Makes the Existing Model Obsolete….
Buckminster Fuller – 20th Century Inventor &Visionary
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What do Humans & Rats have in Common?
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CONVERSATIONAL PATTERNS
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What do Fish and Humans have in common?
CONVERSATIONAL PATTERNS
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Depends on the
quality of the
Which depends on
the quality of the
Which depends on
the quality of the
Getting To The Next Level of
Greatness
Everything Happens Through
Conversation!
- Judith E. Glaser
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Unhealthy and Healthy
TERRITORIAL VITAL
I I &
WE
CONVERSATIONAL PATTERNS
FOE FRIEND
D
N
A
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Advanced Neuroscience
Template
Genes
Transcription
Genes
Regulatory
Genes
Epigenetics
Neuroplasticity
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WHAT’S GOING ON INYOUR HEAD?
Why Leaders Need
to KnowThis
Leaders are Coaches & Facilitators of Conversations!
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At the Moment of Contact
“Interaction Dynamics”
“Sending & Receiving”
“Fear Or Trust”
“Conversational Rituals Create the Space…”
Wisdom
Integrity
Strategy
Empathy
Foresight
Insight
Trust
Fight
Flight
Freeze
Appease
Q
DISTRUST
TRUST
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Conversational Intelligence® Matrix
Level III –Transformational
GROW
Level II – Positional
NAVIGATE
Level I – Transactional
CONNECT
A
S
K
T E L L
Listening Listening
Listening Listening
ListeningListening
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Sean Corwin Glaser
SEAN: Wait Mommy, you can’t go…
because… because - “I have more words to
say….. and more questions to ask …..”
MOMMY (Liz): Good night Sean. Mommy
is done talking.
MOMMY (Liz): laughing….. I know honey.
We can talk more tomorrow….
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Conversational
IntelligenceTM
“We don’t usually remember what
people said or what they did – however
”
– Maya Angelou
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For More Information Contact:
Judith E. Glaser,CEO
Benchmark Communications, Inc.
Chairman ofThe CreatingWE Institute
212 307 4386 - 917 864 8466
www.conversationalintelligence.com
www.creatingwe.com
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… and it’s
in all human beings
We just need to learn to
understand it and it!
Conversational Intelligence
is the
intelligence for our times.
Editor's Notes
Make the invisible visible
Take a 3D View of Conversations Conversations have three dimensions — they are biochemical, relational and co-creational. Learn to manage these Three Dimensions (3D) and you will transform your world:
First Dimension: Biochemical
Learn to manage your own bio-reactions. When we are frustrated with others we get agitated which stimulates cortisol, a fear hormone. The more we project our negative and judgmental feelings toward others they more they become debilitated and are unable to engage in a healthy conversation about how to make things better. Our frustration may show up as bullying, intimidating, and micromanaging. These may help us release our anger or disappointment but it doesn’t get results. Manage your negative emotions and make a leadershift into inspiring others to higher performance.
2: Second Dimension: Relational Human beings have needs and aspirations. Needs are what we need from each other to feel good about my life and ourselves – we need respect, trust, support, caring and candor. Aspirations are what propel me forward – they are what trigger growth. I aspire to be a leader; I aspire to be a doctor. My aspirations are how I see myself in the future and its more than just about me — it’s also about “we.”
When we connect with others at the relational level we become part of a powerful growth system where we are able to support each other’s next steps and honor each other’s identity. When we have a strong relationship with others and validate each other’s needs and aspirations, our chemistry shifts in to a very positive reinforcing cycle that triggers our ability to handle difficult challenges with greater courage. This builds mutually beneficial healthy relationships.
3: Third Dimension: Co-creational Focus on having Co-creating Conversations® Co-creating Conversations are designed to enable you and others to join together to create a new reality. Learning to let go of the past and focus on the future with others will be a powerful dimension to empower you and others. When you are co-creating, you are connecting around what success looks like – mutual success.
Many times we get “addicted to being right” and we get so empowered by our own ideas that we drive toward our own success. When we are addicted to being right, we are producing dopamine, which is a “feel good” hormone and we lose sight of the person right in front of us. Learn to put your ego behind you — what matters less is what “I” can do, and what matters more is “we can do together.” Conversations are “WE-centric” and they affirm the power of what we can co-create.
Mastering the Three Dimensions (3D) changes everything. Your ability to lead will increase exponentially, along with enhancing your ability to create inspiring environments where people work together for mutual gain, growth, and understanding.
Rather than getting agitated by and tangled up in conversations about blame, fear, and frustrations about what is not happening at work, you establish a positive context for transformation by engaging people in ongoing conversations about what has, can, and will work to create a transformation. In doing so, you focus on what needs to happen to address the challenges and, with that focus and commitment, you develop into the best company possible. Rather than trying to fix the past, or dwell on it, you focus on bringing lessons from the past forward into creating the future with others.
Explain why we go into distrust
Me: Good night, Sean. Mommy is done talking.
Sean: Mommy... Wait... You can't go because... Because...I have more words to say and more questions to ask.
Me: (Laughing) I know, honey. We can talk more tomorrow.
Feel free to use the story, Judy! :-)