Konn Was Saved:
July 24, 2009
The day my life changed. Some of these things may be really hard for some of my friends
to believe because you say you’re not religious. But if you really do trust me as your
friend, believe what I'm telling you is actually true. Besides, there’s no way I could make
this up. Please read until the end, the last part of this document has a lot of details,
background info, and explanations.
I was listening to this song by Eminem called “underground” as I was driving my car.
This verse in the song came up:
“no it can't be, it can't be
Yes it can be, the fu**in' anti-christ is back
Danny and satan in black satin panties”
The part where he says Danny and satan doesn’t make much sense, it actually
sounds like he’s saying and he is satan.
…and I thought, wow that felt weird. Especially since I started reading this book called
“Left Behind” which is about the end of the world and the anti-christ.
So I get there, get the weed, we always smoke a blunt so we smoked a blunt and I felt so
high (Marijuanna). I actually thought, this is the very highest I’ve been in a long time, I
definitely shouldn’t be driving. Anyway, we put on music, I shifted to this song called
Smoke signals, its about smoking weed, we listened to it, loved it, then flipped through to
that same Eminem song I heard earlier, because I really liked its beat. My friend got out
of the car when I dropped him off not much later.
I was all alone and I heard the part where he says:
“no it can't be, it can't be
Yes it can be, the fu**in' anti-christ is back
Danny and satan in black satin panties”
As he said Satan, the very first attack took place and my heart was pounding so hard, and
it was just so weird because it was the FIRST time I had ever TRULY experienced a very
physical feeling of another power, and the most convincing proof of Satan’s real
existence. The first thought to cross my mind was that I was letting myself create
something false and getting worked up, but I tried to calm myself down. Nothing worked.
I know this may sound weird to some of you for me to say that Satan attacked me, but
these are things that I honestly felt and saw.
I prayed and prayed trying to get out of this attack when eventually I concluded I should
say what I think/pray out loud. I said an Our Father prayer. To those of you who don’t
know what it is, it is THE Prayer that God gave to us to pray when we need help. What
was so scary about this part, I recited the whole prayer out loud, until I got to the very
end of the prayer where we say “and deliver us from Evil.” I could not remember that
part. This is a prayer that I have said countless times and know by heart. And I could not
get that part of the prayer out.
*Note: I’ve had several discussions with my mom about religion, and God and my
relationship with him and whatnot. Very rarely did we ever talk about demonic
possession or anything of that nature. But when we did, she always told me, if you ever
need God’s help and don’t know what to say, say the Our Father. And I always said
yeah, agreeing but doubting I would EVER, literally ever, come across that situation.
I told Satan to get away, and leave me alone, I only bow to one God. How he was on the
cross and how he died for me, and how Satan disobeyed God’s rules and he needs to
leave. (Yes I actually said that) I was so scared and all I could think of was turn this song
off, it’s evil. So right there when I “recovered” I thought “wow”, that was incredibly
scary and so real. Flip to next song, its Eminem again, skip. I realize all of the songs I just
got really aren’t that great for me to listen to, so I grab this Thousand Foot Krutch CD
and slide it in, because it’s the only Christian music I saw in my car. Before I left to meet
my friend, I was going to grab my CDs, and ended up forgetting. I was listening and
something was just telling me, just switch the CD. At this point I felt very connected to
God and anything he made me think of or hint me to, I followed. I remembered this
Christian Hip Hop hits CD I had laying around in the car, so I put it on. Scrolling
through, looking for something, and then I finally came to this song called Dear. Slim pt.
2. Right as it came on I felt so lifted (blessed, actually started feeling weightless, like
being held on my seat), and knew I should listen to it. I knew God had been hinting me
towards listening to that very song on that very CD because it was the only song available
to me in my car that I could really feel a great connection to God to. As I listened and
prayed, and thought, I was in aw of what was happening, and just so thankful to be saved.
*Note: A lot of this experience may be hard for some of you to understand, Like
being lifted or being effected by the evil of Satan. But to make an attempt at
explaining, when Satan made his attempts my heart rate became amazingly high
and I knew there was an evil force trying to take me over. It’s the scariest feeling I
have ever had.
So as I thought some more, just analyzing all that had happened and how REAL this
really was, I realized that song was written to Eminem, the same artist who created the
“Underground” song. The song that prompted the first attack. As soon as I made that
connection I felt so touched, so loved all at once, more than I ever had in my life, and I
KNEW everything was for a reason. I started just thinking and analyzing all kinds of stuff
about my family and what I would say to each now that my life is changed.
So right now it sounds like that could kind of be a coincidence right?
LET’S BACK IT UP A BIT: When I was about 16 or so, I can't
remember, I started getting into youth group and long story short, ended up getting the
closest to God I’ve ever been,(until now ). Once I hit college, it was harder and harder
to go to church and pray, and all of the duties I tried to keep up with. And found my self
remembering to stop turning on god and go back to him, I’d ALWAYS pray for a sign and
just for God to enter my heart and I always felt I was kinda faking it to make it, but I was
really trying. This process moved gradually all the way to junior year of college. This
year I started smoking marijuana, and loved it. Did it at least a few times a week,
sometimes only a couple, but smoking too much. I kept thinking, I’ve gotta stop this, it’s
gonna get bad. Well it did, I kept up with the same smoking habbits. Because I was
always so stressed at school. I started slacking on the gym, eating terribly (munchies),
and paying less attention to school work, but I still did decent. This continued till the end
of the year.
Summer starts, I can't get a job, besides working at my aunt Jackie’ss once in a while.
Few bucks, wonder where that money went to? So yeah, sometimes I would stay up late
and smoke after my parents went to sleep. Play video games, edit, listen to music,
whatever. A few weeks into that, I came across a backwards video that I used to watch
with friends when I was high. On the side of the youtube page, I saw a little vid that said
Jay Z subliminal message. I clicked it, it had a Jay z song backwards that said 666
murda murda jesus, 666. So I stayed up all night looking at videos about this kind of
stuff. All kinds of videos about the devil in music and how much it influences people. I
searched sites too. The very last site I came across had something stuff connecting
Eminem to serving Satan, etc. but I never got a chance to look at those videos. Since this
night hit me so hard. I perceived it as God trying to bring me back, a big smack in the
face, because I was touched that night, feeling closer to God then I had in years.
I started going back to church, praying, reading the Bible and books about God, and
quit weed, for a few weeks. The few weeks I quit smoking, and started praying,
everything was going better for me, everything. I started praying again, all the similar
stuff, but just never felt connected to God nearly as much as I wanted to. I always prayed
that I was trying and I didn’t know what to do show just show me. The night before this
epiphany, I had lost my earring while I was sleeping. I searched forever for it, never
could find it, I just gave up on it. I prayed hard the night of finding the videos, for a job,
for everything to go better, to keep on with not smoking, to work out more, etc. I woke up
the next morning, felt great, smiled, and started to pray. As that happened, an earring fell
into my hand, palm open and facing upward ( I was laying on my side ). I didn’t know
what to think of it, but I called my mom and told her how cool it was and I thought it was
a nice little sign from God, not as intense as I wanted, but I appreciated it. I prayed for a
job, a job just opened up for me, I started on the Monday after (it was like Thursday).
On Saturday I went to confession and felt greater than ever. The Sunday of that week, I
went to a rope swing with my friends. I love my friends, they’re great, but they like their
alcohol, and weed too. So I knew they’d at least be drinking there. They were, and I was
just chilling not drinking (that’s cool with me), because I don’t really like drinking that
much anyway. As we were just hanging around talking, two kids came up with weed,
smoking a blunt. They offered others to take some hits, they didn’t ask me but I just didn’t
even talk about weed or anything just because I was trying to stay off it. I kind of just felt
tested. I wasn’t sure. During the time we were there, two nuns came walking on the path
in the woods and all my friends, being drunk, we’re just joking around and saying rude
stuff and laughing, looking over. I don’t think they (nuns) were within distance to hear
anything. They (friends) wanted to go over and do something rude to them but I said,
naw guys just leave em’ alone. But I still just thought, “ wow you really wimped out right
there dude, you could have done more than that.” Few minutes later, my earring was
gone. I looked for about 30 minutes in this tiny area and couldn’t find it. I had gone on
the rope swing 2 times already, but after the 2nd time I checked my ear to see if my
earring was there, it’s just a habit. It was there. I thought wow that was weird, maybe
the earring thing was from God, could the nuns have actually been related? But still,
thought it could be coincidence.
Back to the story..
As I was still driving, I thought of all of the things that had happened the last few weeks
and made all the connections, as it went “Ding” I felt overwhelmed again, just amazing
feeling ever. Knew it was God 100%. I broke out in tears again.
*NOTE* Through this whole drive God speaks with me through my thoughts. He found
little things to make me think of one thing, onto another thing, until I finally figured out
what he wanted me to think. I always knew what it was because every time I “got it
right” I felt lifted again, and once again overwhelmed with his presence. These always
occurred on the HUGE connections that were his ways of showing me he has been there.
Since my thoughts were going every which way, I began coming across different aspects
of my life that I should probably work on.
Some how I started thinking about how I need to be better in Halo too (not skill, but how
I treat people on there). So when I thought of halo I thought of iKonnvict, my gamertag,
and how me and my friends were trying to think of good names for my next tag (Konn
Edits, Konn Can Edit) There was no music on at this time and the “Smoke signals” song
started playing in my head when Satan again made an approach with the rear view lights
in the cars ahead of me. What I mean by this: I would see his eyes in the tail lights ahead
of me. He held the same evil force over me, but the eyes were very distracting.
*As I showed this to one of my friends, there was some confusion about the eyes in the
taillights. To clarify, when Satan used the tail lights to stare me in the face, I couldn’t
look at the tail lights. The reason is because, whenever I looked at the lights, the evil
force felt stronger and stronger. And to me, they weren’t taillights, they had such a
piercing stare right into me. So he was trying to distract me, I couldn’t look directly
ahead of me, I had to stare at the yellow line to the left, and below the taillights.
I held to my cross that’s hanging above my rear view mirro, and just prayed for help, and
immediately after I started to pull out of his dark and evil force that I could feel
*As I came out, and started to be lifted again, God shifted my thoughts to something I
had always remembered saying. When I was in high school, I crashed my car, going
about 40 MPH down the road, right into a tree. The crazy part is, I was untouched, the
car spun around in a 360 and went backwards into a ditch and hit the tree (crazy right).
After the crash, when we were at home talking about it. I remember saying, “Good thing
I had my cross in there huh?” to my mother. And she agreed. But from that day, I always
just remember saying those words and wondering what would have happened if I didn’t
have my cross.
And I was thinking, wow I was saved. My thoughts shifted to how I spoke those words
and how they were always so significant to me before, and He remembered that. I knew
from me thinking about that, God was obviously saying “yep that was me there too.”
Because like the other times, when I made that connection, I felt uplifted.
I remembered how we were trying to think of tag names again, Immediately a name just
popped into my head, KoNN Was Saved, Big deal right? No, right there I cried again. He
lifted me up so high I felt weightless, literally, I felt weightless. And the reason is
because KoNN Was Saved directly related to me. Not to mention KoNN Was Saved is
such a good gamertag and its just so original (LoL).
Yeah, so what, you thought of a good tag... I kind of just laughed and stayed
amazed at all of these connections and signs of God works in my life, and how he has
been working on me.
…Weird too, because I have been thinking lately the only friends I really interact with
much are on XBL, they all know my name yet they still call me Konnvict. And after
thinking about how cool that was for a while, I just started to pray, thanking God so much
for coming through, this whole thing was a plan, amazing. From there I thought Konn
was saved…. isn’t there another convict who was saved? DERRR Right there I just lost it
all over again and he lifted me higher and higher, I thought of how the convict next to
Christ on the cross was saved too, and that right there was enough to bring me to tears
again, lifted so high, feeling blessed. *Remember, these thoughts I'm having are all being
heard by God, every single one, so when I think, Convict was saved, and I'm seeing this
in my minds eye, God lets me know, YESSS, exactly, that’s what I was trying to tell you
by this. You are the saved convict.
Here’s a cool part about this. Remember that artist, KJ 52? Well my favorite song
by him is called “Never look away.” It was the song I felt I could worship God to the
most, I always felt so connected to God when I sang this song. This song is 100% about
the convict who died next to Christ and was saved just before he died, it is written from
the convicts perspective. THIS CD WAS IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. I only wish I had
figured out what God was hinting me throughout the experience. Only did I conclude this
after the experience, since I’ve spent a great deal of time thinking about it.
Ohhh wait, did I forget to tell you? The song Dear Slim Pt. 2 is a letter
that this Christian rapper KJ 52 writes to EMINEM, the person whose
song originally prompted Satan’s attacks on me. And its also just
insane because that was always my favorite song on the Hip Hop album
because of how it made me feel, pretty much the closest to God I could
get to at that point but seems measly to me now.
This is why God lifted me so high when I heard the song for the first time, and realized
how this whole thing was a plan, and it was obvious. (I was originally tested by Satan on
Eminem’s song. The only song in my whole car that I could semi-worship to was on that
hip hop album. It happened to be writing about Eminem. Make sense?
* You might have missed this:
-This whole experience felt somewhat dream like. It was 1.5 hour drive and felt like 4 or
5. Most of my thoughts I saw in my minds eye. So this was visual too.
- A lot of this was about marijuana. God was trying to wake me up and say, seriously,
you have to stop this. When I had my talks with my mother, one time she said drugs can
effect your susceptibility to other powers. When I was at the peak of my smoking
marijuana stage through the year, I was always saying how bad it was for me, how I was
in the worst shape of my life, furthest from God in a while. God kept trying to steer me
from smoking weed. Remember when I said how Satan came through again when I heard
the song “smoke signals” in my head.
-Music was also a medium, the main reason I usually got high was to listen to music.
Funny how Satan targeted me, and God came through to me through music…..
- Music has been the medium for all interactions in my faith. And God knows this. He
knows how influential music can be on me and how much it has affected my faith.
*The very first time I was “saved” and felt the presence of God it was praising his
name singing a song.
*Each step of this experience was triggered by a song.
*The most recent step in my faith was finding the videos on the web about the
link between the MUSIC industry and satan.
- I always prayed for signs or for God to truly connect with me, and through the whole
experience, when I say, He hinted me to think of different things, I really mean that, The
whole journey, my thoughts were the medium for this whole interaction. And every time
another connection clicked, I was lifted, felt more blessed.
- The way my thoughts shifted to different areas was not just by accident or coincidence.
These connections are real, God was just helping me figure them out.
-All I know is, I'm done with weed and alcohol, seriously, done, never do it again. And
this may disappoint some of my friends, but hey now you’ve got a DD. I’m looking
forward to this new life, now that I am saved.
-Also note that God had been testing me before this experience as I went up and down in
my faith and religious activity. Through the nuns and actually praying in the morning and
being focused, etc. When I followed, (prayed day and night, turned back to God) I was
rewarded (earrings). Since I had several encounters during this experience, each one was
a test that I had to get over with the help of God.
-Remember how I said the closest I felt to God in a while was the one night I was
smoking weed, and I was watching backwards videos on youtube? Then I came across a
song by Jay z with Satan in it. This triggered my whole interest in the subject matter. The
last site I came across had EMINEM in it. I never saw that video, but it triggered the
thought that Eminem’s music is probably satanic too. He was the very last artist that I
wanted to look at but didn’t. And then it was his song I heard? And then the song I was
saved on was a song about Eminem. Tell me that’s a coincidence.. Not.
The feeling I get when I am saved, lifted, is the most euphoric thing I’ve felt in my
whole entire life. I don’t cry, I haven’t cried in like 5 years, and that was probably
because of something sad. But when these blessings by God were occurring, I was
crying so hard, and I knew it was God, When I made certain realizations of what
was happening in my life and little things that clicked, he always came through and
made me feel this way when I figured another thing out.
It was almost like being a trained dog. Well that sounds silly huh? Well sort of. Like
I mentioned, God and Satan were using my thought as the medium for this whole
interaction. And this whole time God was tapped into my thoughts, steering me,
trying to trigger a certain thought that would lead to another, etc. When I finally got
to the right thought (that He wanted me to figure out) this is when I felt these
euphoric amazing moments as well. Because they were his way of saying, “see, I am
here for you, I have been the whole time, you were getting so close, and you just
didn’t get it, but now I'm letting you know.”
And for those who say, that’s some really good weed, well I’m sorry that this wasn’t
enough for you to believe in God.
* Any questions? Just ask, I can help you understand just how everything*
happened, in more detail than I can describe or fit into this word doc.
I also have a .rar file of the songs I mentioned in this, if anyone wants it.