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An Idiot's List of 15 and A Half Reasons to Learn English

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Why do people learn English? Does it sound like a stupid question? Some stupid answers in our slides for you to have fun.

Need to learn new words easier and faster? Check out our spaced repetition tool for busy adults studying foreign languages: https://vocblocks.com

Read online in your target language, look up and learn the words you choose with our free dictionary plugin vocBlocks LookUp: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/vocblocks-lookup/ehnoadhemhhkcggnacpabgdpnoacadao

Read our blog for tips, inspiration and language fun: http://blog.vocblocks.com/

Published in: Self Improvement
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An Idiot's List of 15 and A Half Reasons to Learn English

  1. 1. An Idiot's List of 15 and A Half Reasons to Learn English
  2. 2. Reason #1 reaching international audience you will be able to write comments online in English and express your views to a much broader audience on a wide variety of issues that bother you. These issues include but are not limited to stupid government, inefficient transport system, the weather, irresponsible dog owners, spoilt kids in restaurants and your in-laws.
  3. 3. Reason #2 improving career prospects you will be able to rub your boss' nose in a grammar mistake in his email in English to the company’s foreign partners. Make sure you demand promotion on the grounds of being bilingual and having excellent attention to detail.
  4. 4. Reason #3 optimising travel expenses you will be able to speak to waiters when you are on holiday abroad. If they don't reply in fluent English, complain about the poor service and don't leave a tip. Note: don't try it in Amsterdam, as they all speak English there and if you piss them off they will run you over on a bike.
  5. 5. Reason #4 increasing e-commerce & information sourcing opportunities you will be able to enrich your online shopping experience buying stuff you don't need from all over the world. And then (ahead of all your friends who don't speak English) master the newest system of getting rid of the stuff you don't need, the system so new, they haven't yet translated the book sharing this wisdom into your native language.
  6. 6. Reason #5 getting authentic movie experience you will be able to enjoy movies starring Arnold Schwarzenegger in the original and secretly feel superior because your English accent is much better than his.
  7. 7. Reason #6 the queen of England you will be able to write a letter to the Queen of England and ask her to adopt you as one of her loyal dogs. Don't forget to say ‘please’.
  8. 8. Reason #7 revamping self-expression you will be able to fearlessly write graffiti on walls in two languages and once caught, explain with dignity that it’s language practice not vandalism.
  9. 9. Reason #8 honing practical skills you will be able to authentically shout ‘Taxi’ in New York like they do in the movies. Not that it will help you get one at a busy hour.
  10. 10. Reason #9 fully appreciating pop culture you will be able to understand all those pop songs in English, cringe and stop listening to this shite.
  11. 11. Reason #10 looking great & feeling smooth you will be able to watch millions of YouTube videos teaching you how to iron your shirts, socks and undergarments correctly.
  12. 12. Reason #11 updating parenting style you will be able to do your kids’ homework in English and let the poor children rest instead. After all kids should relax at home, not do stupid homework.
  13. 13. Reason #12 boosting reciprocity you will be able to tell if someone calls you names in English and reciprocate quickly and decisively.
  14. 14. Reason #13 enhancing holiday experience you will be able to casually remark to the hospitality staff at the hotel you are staying at, that your negative review on Trip Advisor will be in English for the whole world to know that the croissants for breakfast were stale on 3 July and the water in the outdoor pool was uncomfortably cold for you after sunbathing.
  15. 15. Reason #14 the British If you focus on the British English, you will inevitably adopt some of the ladies & gentlemen culture and...
  16. 16. will be able to offer your apologies on all sorts of possible occasions: if you burp, if someone else burps, if you behaved like an idiot, if someone else behaved like an idiot and you saw it, if you pushed someone accidentally, if someone pushed you accidentally and also just in case so that people around don't think you are being rude.
  17. 17. once addressed by complete strangers, you will be able to elaborate on weather predicaments of all sorts for half an hour in a row. And know a hundred and one expressions to describe rain.
  18. 18. you will be able to stay calm and carry on being polite even if someone punches you in your stiff upper lip.
  19. 19. If you think that these reasons are not convincing enough, you should learn English because...
  20. 20. Reason #15 improving marriage prospects It is the language spoken by prince Harry. A bachelor. Yet.
  21. 21. And of course Reason #15.5 because these slides are in English. In case you didn't notice. Happy learning!
  22. 22. Brought to you by a languages study tool for busy adults Organise and learn new words with our spaced repetition tool. Check out ready vocabulary blocks for learners of English. Read online in your target language, look up and learn the words you choose with our free dictionary plugin vocBlocks LookUp: download from Chrome store here. Read our blog for tips, inspiration and language fun here.

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