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How To Spend Your Last Twenty Dollars


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How To Spend Your Last Twenty Dollars

  1. 1. Deadland/How To Spend Your Last Twenty Dollars By John Williams and Jake Evans
  2. 2. INT. DJ’S HOUSE - NIGHT (1 AM)We see EVAN’s face. A dark fringe of shaggy hair shades hiseyes and youthful face, but does not but not cover themcompletely. He shifts his gaze to DJ (off-screen) as he’sstaring at something in his hands. EVAN I’m nervous...We see DJ from the same angle. He has long hair, past hisshoulders, and a beard. He stares back at EVAN intently DJ Don’t be... You’ll be fine... I promise EVAN Have you ever done this before? DJ Think of who you’re asking... I’m fucking Dope Jesus, dude.We look down to see DJ popping pills out of a blister pack FADE TO OPENING CREDITS.INT. DJ’S HOUSE - DAY (10 AM)We HEAR traffic outside, and SEE DJ sitting in a chair inhis less-than-humble home, playing video games. There is alarge pile of marijuana on a table next to him, and a chairacross the room from him. There’s a knock at the door. EVAN (off-screen) Open up. It’s Evan.DJ opens the door and invites his friend in. DJ What’s up dude? EVAN Absolutely nothing, unfortunately.EVAN notices the pile of weed. EVAN Dude, could you put that stuff away? You know how I feel about that. (CONTINUED)
  3. 3. CONTINUED: 2. DJ Don’t be such a pussy, dude. Don’t act like you’ve never tried it. EVAN How long have you known me? DJ About... Four years..? EVAN Roughly. I’d figure that by now you’d understand the fact that I don’t do drugs. I just smoke. DJ Fun fact, nicotine IS a drug, so... Yeah, you do do drugs. EVAN Oh god, here we go... Dope Jesus is about to school me in the evils of nicotine.DJ smiles at EVAN and begins rolling a joint. EVAN has aseat on a chair opposite of DJ. He does not look at EVAN atall while rolling the joint.C.U. OF DJ’S HANDS AS HE ROLLS THE JOINT. DJ Nicotine, discovered in 1828, is the primary addictive ingredient in cigarettes, which are the most highly traded item on the planet, with over 900 billion being sold each year. In addition to nicotine, they contain arsenic, formaldehyde, lead, hydrogen cyanide, nitrogen oxide, carbon monoxide, ammonia and 43 other known carcinogens.CUT TO EVANEVAN sighs and picks up DJ’s controller and begins playingthe video game. DJ has finished rolling the joint, and setsit on the table. DJ Dude, don’t die. I haven’t saved in like... Fucking four levels. (CONTINUED)
  4. 4. CONTINUED: 3. EVAN I won’t, unless you light that thing around me. DJ Don’t be such a pussy, man. I let you smoke around me all the time, and you know how much I hate it. EVAN I’ve been meaning to ask you that. How is it that you can chastise me for smoking cigarettes, while you pump your body full of every intoxicant known to man kind?DJ and EVAN’s eyes are both fixated on the screen. DJ No, no... Go to the left... No, like... Back towards town. You’ve gotta buy some more potions. EVAN Quit dodging the question, man. DJ I’m not, I’m just making sure you don’t get me fucking killed. And the answer is this: You know that feeling when you haven’t had a cigarette in a REALLY long time, and you finally smoke one, and a rush of relief pours through your body? EVAN Not that you would know anything about that, but yes. DJ Trust me man, I know everything. Either way, take that and multiply it by ten million, and that’s what taking REAL drugs feels like. Always. EVAN Yeah, until you, y’know... DIE. DJ Cigarettes kill more people per year than alcohol, prescription (MORE) (CONTINUED)
  5. 5. CONTINUED: 4. DJ (cont’d) drugs, caffeine, aspirin, cocaine, and heroin COMBINED. EVAN Shut up, you know what I mean. Cigarettes cause ailing health, and a gradual decline. Drugs kill you spontaneously from ODing. DJ Fair enough, but... At least you die happy.DJ and EVAN both groan as EVAN has apparently died in thevideo game. EVAN Dude... I’m so sorry... DJ Fuck it. You win some, you lose some. Wanna go somewhere? EVAN Such as? DJ Grab some food? I’m starving. Munchies and all that. EVAN Sure.DJ and EVAN leave the room, and get in to EVAN’s car. DJgrabs the joint off of the table on the way out.INT. EVAN’S CAR - DAYEVAN is smoking a cigarette and flipping through radiostations while DJ is packing a bowl of marijuana. EVAN Dude. If we get pulled over... Just... Ugh. DJ It’s fine. I’m just packing it. Not gonna smoke until we get wherever we’re going. Fun fact, did you know that you get the munchies while you’re high because THC inhibits (MORE) (CONTINUED)
  6. 6. CONTINUED: 5. DJ (cont’d) the cannabinoid receptor CB1, which is also responsible for signaling leptin, which is an appetite-suppressing hormone. When CB1 is inhibited, leptin doesn’t get released. EVAN Dude... You should go on Drug Jeopardy or something.They pull in to the parking lot of a restaurant. DJ leansdown slightly and begins smoking the weed. DJ If only. EVAN Want me to wait out here, or go ahead in? DJ (exhaling the smoke) It’s whatever, honestly. EVAN I guess I’ll just hang out out here.EVAN gazes out of the windshield, seemingly thinking. DJ What’s up..? EVAN Nothing... Just thinking about what you said... The metaphor about doing drugs. DJ (exhaling again) Dude... Just try it EVAN Definitely not in public. DJ Come on, man. What’s the worst that could happen? (CONTINUED)
  7. 7. CONTINUED: 6. EVAN I could crash on the way home, killing us both... DJ Fair enough. This isn’t cashed or anything, but I’m gonna go ahead and finish smoking it after we eat. EVAN Alright. Just throw it in the glove compartment.DJ waits for the weed to stop smoldering, and places thepipe and the joint in the glove compartment under somenapkins.WE FOLLOW EVAN AND DJ AS THEY GET OUT OF THE CAR AND INTOTHE RESTAURANT, WHERE THEY ORDER THEIR MEALS.INT. RESTAURANT - DAYEVAN and DJ are seen eating. DJ has noticeably more foodthan EVAN. DJ (with his mouth full) When we get back to the house, you’ve gotta smoke with me, man. EVAN I don’t know, dude. Why should I? DJ Well... I could go off into one of my rants about why you’re wrong about why you THINK you shouldn’t, but instead, this... Why SHOULDN’T you? EVAN Because I have a job, my parents might find out, I could get arrested... There’s all kinds of reasonsDJ hails the waiter for a refill DJ See, here’s the thing. You’ve been smoking cigarettes for how long now? (CONTINUED)
  8. 8. CONTINUED: 7. EVAN About two years. DJ Right, and the smell from cigarettes bleeds into everything, unlike the smell of weed. And your parents STILL haven’t found out. You’re a regular little ninja, mother fucker. EVAN Touche, but, you’re ignoring the other two, which are a majority of the reason. DJ Alright, the whole job situation. I know your manager smokes pot. I know this for a fact. I’ve seen him at our dealers house I don’t know how many times. So if he ever says you have to take a piss test, just tell him that you won’t take one unless he does, which is perfectly legal. And knowing that he smokes acres of the shit, he’ll back off. EVAN As for getting arrested? DJ I’ve been smoking for 12 years and haven’t been caught yet. You’d be studying with the master.EVAN stares off in introspection, and DJ stares at EVAN withcurious intensity. DJ Verdict? EVAN It’s not a yes, but... We’ll seeDJ throws his arms in the air in a mock triumphant cheer DJ YES! Who’s the fucking man?! YOU ARE, SON! (CONTINUED)
  9. 9. CONTINUED: 8. EVAN (finishing his meal) Yeah, right. Just hurry up. I’m ready to leave.DJ, anxious at the prospect of smoking with EVAN, hurriedlyfinishes his meal. The pair leave.INT. DJ’S HOUSE - MID TO LATE AFTERNOONThere is a thick cloud of smoke in the room. EVAN is smokinga cigarette and playing the game as DJ packs a bong. DJ So... This is on the seventh pack, and you still haven’t smoked any... EVAN Dude, I’m just a little nervous. Give me a second. DJ (slightly agitated) I’ve given you like three hours! EVAN But still dude... Just... Just hold on. DJ No. Hit this shit right now, or go home. EVAN Dude, really? You’re being kind of a douche about this. DJ Hit it, bro. EVAN No!DJ begins waving the mouth of the bong in front of EVAN’sface DJ (sing songy) You know you wanna... (CONTINUED)
  10. 10. CONTINUED: 9. EVAN Get that out of here man DJ You KNOW you wanna. EVAN (near shouting) No dude! Stop it! DJ (chanting) Evan’s gonna smoke! Evan’s gonna smoke! Evan’s gonna smoke! EVAN (angrily) Fine! Give me that, but for the love of God, shut up! DJ (triumphantly) YES!EVAN nervously puts his lips up to the mouth of the bong,and breathes deeply through his nose. He hesitates atlighting the bowl while DJ stares on intently. EVAN bringsthe lighter nearer the bowl, but at the last second hisphone rings, breaking the dramatic silence. EVAN Oh, it’s my mom. I’ve gotta take this. I’ll hit it here in a second. DJ I feel like God is fucking with me... EVAN (opening his phone) Don’t be so melodramatic... Hey mom. EVAN’S MOM (over the phone) Hey sweetie. I need you to come home and give me a ride. EVAN What? Where? Why? (CONTINUED)
  11. 11. CONTINUED: 10. CHRISTINE Well, honey, I’m too drunk to drive, to be perfectly honest, and I feel like going to the video store to make a rental. EVAN (sighing) I’ll be right there... EVAN I’ve gotta go pick up my mom. She’s bombed. DJ Dude, it’s only like 5 o’clock... EVAN Yeah... I know...EVAN solemnly grabs his keys and leaves. DJ Hey! What about this weed..?EVAN stares at DJ. EVAN That’s the least of my concerns right now.EXT. EVAN’S HOUSE - EARLY EVENINGEVAN pulls up in front of a rather large, elegant house. Abeautiful lady in her mid 30’s steps out of the house with aglass of sherry in her hands. She’s wearing jeans, and at-shirt, which seems to take EVAN by surprise. CHRISTINE (shouting across the lawn) Ah! Evan, dear! I’ve been expecting you. EVAN I know, mother. Get in the car, I’m due back at DJ’s for dinner.CHRISTINE begins to walk across the lawn. EVAN Mom. (CONTINUED)
  12. 12. CONTINUED: 11. CHRISTINE Hm? EVAN You can’t bring that glass with you...She finishes the glass in one big gulp, and sets it on theporch. EVAN sighs as she gets into the car.INT. EVAN’S CAR - EARLY EVENING CHRISTINE You know, I never cared much for that Daniel boy. EVAN It’s DJ, mom. Not Daniel. CHRISTINE Regardless of his name, he’s a failure. A strung-out junkie living from needle to needle, trying to corrupt my Evan... Dear, what’s that smell? EVAN I don’t know. There must be a skunk around here somewhere...CHRISTINE begins breathing deeply. EVAN You alright..? CHRISTINE I’ll be quite fine dear. Just need a bit of fresh air.She rolls the window down. The pair drive in silence for afew moments, before CHRISTINE spontaneously vomits out thewindow. EVAN swerves in shock. EVAN (shocked, loudly) What the fuck?! CHRISTINE Evan Michael Jacobs! How dare you swear in front of your mother. (CONTINUED)
  13. 13. CONTINUED: 12. EVAN You just vomited all over the side of my car, and that’s your concern?! CHRISTINE Calm down, dear. Do you have a towel or anything in here? EVAN Yeah... I’ve got some paper towels in the glove box.EVAN winces. He already knows what’s under the paper towels.We HEAR a thunk as DJ’s pipe falls out of the glovecompartment after his mother opens it. CHRISTINE Evan... Pull this car over. EVAN Mom CHRISTINE (interrupting) Pull this fucking car over, now.EVAN pulls the car into a parking lot. CHRISTINE Evan... Have you been smoking weed? EVAN Loads of it, mom.CHRISTINE reaches across the console of the car and smackshim. CHRISTINE Don’t you fucking lie to me, you little shit! Have you been smoking weed in my house? EVAN (voice breaking) No, mom... But you know what? With all of the shit you put me through growing up, and even now, I’m really surprised that I don’t do drugs.MCU of CHRISTINE. An almost frown is starting to come overher face. (CONTINUED)
  14. 14. CONTINUED: 13. EVAN (cont’d) Most people who have parents like you go out and pump themselves full of anything to feel better, and I’m really starting to understand that. You know... I just wish that you’d treat me like a person. Or like I matter to you. Instead, you’re like a babysitter. You keep me alive and do things for me because you have to, not because you actually give a damn. I have dreams about making loads of money, and then one day, your house burns down or something, and you really need me, just so I can show you what it’s like. So that you know how terrible of a feeling it is that your closest family really doesn’t give a good a god damn about whether or not you’re comfortable, or safe. So you can know how I feel, for once.CHRISTINE is now crying, but also visibly angry. She setsthe pipe back in the glove compartment. CHRISTINE (teary) Take me home...The pair ride home in silenceINT. EVAN’S HOUSE - NIGHTWe see EVAN and CHRISTINE sitting at a table in the kitchen.There is a suitcase next to EVAN. EVAN I can stay with DJ for a while, probably. CHRISTINE I don’t care where you are, as long as it’s not in my house. EVAN Right... Well... Let me make a few phone calls, and gather up the rest of my stuff... (CONTINUED)
  15. 15. CONTINUED: 14. CHRISTINE If you’re here past eleven, I’m calling the police.EVAN nods, and leaves the room. CHRISTINE pours herself aglass of whiskey.INT. EVAN’S ROOM - NIGHTEVAN is seen opening dresser drawers and stuffing clothesinto a trash bag. After the bag is full, he sits on his bed,and dials a number on his phone. EVAN Hey, DJ. DJ (over the phone) What’s up dude? EVAN I need some help, man. DJ (over the phone) With..? EVAN Remember earlier today, when you put your pipe in my glove compartment, and kind of... Forgot to take it out..? DJ (over the phone) Yeah... EVAN Well... My mom found it, and she kicked me out, man. DJ Oh, fuck... Oh, fuck, dude... My bad. EVAN Make it up to me by saying it’s alright if I stay with you for a while. (CONTINUED)
  16. 16. CONTINUED: 15. DJ (over the phone) Are you kidding? Of course man. EVAN Alright. I’ll be there in like 10 minutes.EVAN snaps the phone shut, and heads to his car